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39 And Never Married, Should I Run?

Just a question, I know a nigerian guy who is 39-40years, no children, never married, he has money and great career, is that kind of old not to have settled down?

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25 answers

do u have a girlfriend or fiance?

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I am in the same position,maybe we are dating the same guy in the US - only that I have 2 kids, and this man is childless.

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Orun apaadi beeni!!!!!! On ni onifekufe, tabi on ni ogbon omo ati marindinlogbon aya eyin wole Naija!!!!!

translation: Yes you should persue a relationship with him, it seems like a good idea to marry him since he is professional and not attached, it is common in america to be 40 and not have a wife,

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@ poster

r u sure that he does not have a wife or chick somewhere else ?

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@ cute-Bottom

She means run as in "Only this man knows why he is not yet married and I am not interested in the reason as it might cause me some serious emotional and psychological trauma"

@ poster

People have the right to choose and if he has decided he is not ready to settle for less until he has met the right woman or to stay single for the rest of his life despite of his acclaimed success, that is his cup of tea!

Give the poor man a break!

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Yes.  Age is but a number after you have fullfilled all earthly and heavenly obligations.  There is a time for everything and that is what "psychologists" refer to as "developmental" milestones.  You have to walk as a baby by age 1 on the average.  If a baby does not walk by age 1, why are we worried then, for example?

Same thing with marriage and relationships.  Yes, it is a personal choice and everyone if free to remain single if he or she chooses.

The problem is that most of these "old fogies"--move around with people who intend to get married and waste a lot of other people's time with their "psychoses and phobias".  They go around giving mixed signals and deceiving people into emotional committments they are not ready to provide.  Old dudes are good at this and some brainless females keep falling for it.

If you do not want to get married,---- fine.  But a 40 year old dude cannot be going around dating young ladies who have marriage in mind and leading them on and vice versa.  Stick to you own kind of "whatever goes" romantic flames then.  I only pity the silly girls who hook up with these old time "playas", hoping to reform them. Once emotionally detached--you stay emotionally detached since you missed your opportunity to form those kinds of relationships. You do not learn that at 40, when your life is almost over. No pastor can cure that.

If you choose to be single--hook up with others with like beliefs and don't waste anyone else's time.  Simple!  These old dudes want the best and have nothing to offer--in return.  Rubbish!

Yeah right! Keep making excuses.   Only dogs attract bitches!!!!!!!  So enjoy!!!!

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Run if you like - is that not very common in America? I see nothing wrong in that. Maybe he doesnt want bitchy women in his life.

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whats the thought process behind this script

Age isjust a number if your not married is it by force or a necessity ,

it will hapen when it happens but dont just choose anyone it might end in tears

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am sorry shawty 4 real.

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He might have been to busy with his "great career" pls marry him!

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He is a baby booomer, so leave him alone, most men in white man's land will be scared to get married after he has burst his azz to make the money, cos this days kinda hard to know the motive of the woman, especially when the brother got it going on, so i dont blame the brova.

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which kin crap talk bi dis? there are tons of ppl in the usa, male or female not married and no kids, and it is easily found among the white professional folks. and present day nigeria has taken to that trend too as every1 wants to make money have a car, big house, save zillions of naira so that they can spend it all on the wedding, b4 they even consider settling into any serious relationship, so it is not strange and i truly wonder if u are truly american.

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Where are you running to ?

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Run as fast as your legs can carry you, I smell trouble!

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It is no big deal. There are lots of single Nigerian men in that age . He is neither gay nor impotent. MOST Nigerian men do not like having children out of wedlock. Different strokes for different folks, I am surprised people judge Nigerian men based on what is obtainable from the American society. If your men have babies at will, married or single, that is not exactly what is obtainable beyond your culture.

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He could be gay and using you as a cover.  He may need his papers.  So he looking to use you to get them.  Maybe, he has only matured and ready for marriage.  If he doesn't need to use you for papers, he may be legitimate.  However, this doesn't end the possible problems.

I think Laudett gave some good advice.  If he is the eldest male, his family is a tremendous financial burden on him.  Being the eldest male or only male is not a good thing to be. 

I would advise you to careful and investigate him.  These guys are very tricky.  He could be faking the funk. 

But I would personally be skeptical of a man over 40 and never married. I would have in my mind that he is a closeted gay, but this may not be the situation.

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Personally i would say it isn't an issue, the only area of concern would be if he wanted kids because at 50+ he'd still be doing school runs.

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if u dont want him , then give him to my aunt , she is the female version of him

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Marriage isn’t about age it’s about finding the right partner and being able to accept full responsibilities as a good father.

For me, I don’t thing you’re too old just keep on searching till you find the right person that what really matters.

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Being unmarried at almost 40 is strange but not unheard of maybe he was just too lazy to settle down.You should get to know him better get close to some of his friends especially thhe ones that have genuine concern for you as those are the ones that wil tell you the truth about him.Dont rush into anything that will make you feel used later move at your own pace dont be pushed to do anything you are not ready for that way you wont be too hurt if you find out he was not real. with time you learn to trust him and maybe both of you will end up living happily ever after.Wish you luck

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Erm, my people this one get as e be o!

First of all, do some serious search, girl. Ask questions. Are you sure he is not divorced? And he doesn't have a wife or a fiancee back home in Nigeria?

Is he an only child or an only son? Tell us. Have you spoken to any of his family or friends? Have you met any?

Or is he the first child out of a large family? Maybe he had to take care of his siblings or extended family, and those financial commitments made him put marriage on hold. Dunno. Just asking.

If, like you say, he has a good job & spare cash, there might be various chics of all sizes hanging around him. So he could be spoilt for choice. Y'know, some girls believe 'finance is the lube that oils romance.' In fact, one or more of those girls would have made serious efforts to snag him, before now. Find out.

Or did he have a bad deal at the hands of some chic that made him vow never to get married?

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I actually like the guy, but and because I am American I can only speak to what is common in U.S., so I was asking members of the forum their opinion. Many of my friends have said, "what is wrong with him that he has never married ot had kids" is he gay, selfish, and the list goes on. I do understand marriage and family are a personal choice and you should be ready before you dive in, but just trying to be sure before I really get serious with him. thanks

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i actually am not a NIgerian, so please elaborate.

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If you were really Nigerian, this wouldnt surprise you.

ask osisi.

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