This is my first post to this forum, and I am looking forward to meeting lots of people---both Nigerian and Non-Nigerian!
I have been dating an American-born Nigerian man for a few months now, and I care for him very much. I believe it is mutual. I do know that we have a lot of problems communicating sometimes and I think it is because of cultural stuff. I have read lots of posts from other African American women who have the same fears as I do about the many "cousins" and family obligations that seem to monopolize the man's time, but in my case, I don't know what to think. To put it simply, our dating styles are definitely different, so I don't know how to bridge this gap. We are trying to adjust to each other, but sometimes, I feel like he keeps things pertaining to his culture from me because of the stereotypes out there about Black women and what he says Black Americans feel about Nigerians.
In my case, I would love to know more about his culture, and I would appreciate it and value it as much as he does. This man has done so many things that scream that he loves me--he has told me this once, but we are both scared. He does not like to talk about his feelings---but every now and again, he will share things that are reassuring. I am concerned because what I may be taking as offensive or that he is involved with other women may be culturally related to family obligations, and I want to believe the best of him. I've never dated a Nigerian before, but I have had my share of Black American men that are dogs, and I am scared of being hurt again. Any advice?