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Are Nigerian Men Lazy Or Just Completely Insensitive?

Is It That Naija Dudes Are Lazy Or Totally Insensitive?  No offense, but this is what I noticed.

Some relatives from naija (a man and his wife) came visitin' at our place. During their visit, they went shopping a lot and I noticed the wife is always carrying the heavy stuff they bought while the husband is just walking with nothing in his hands.

It's weird to me, like how can a man who's supposed to be stronger let his wife carry heavy stuff while he just walks as if he has no business with the whole thing?

I've never seen such here in the US.  Men carry all the heavy stuff.  In fact, all the stuff.  Why are Nigerian men insensitive?

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Its funny when we are in the supermarket together he just stands in the drinks section the whole time! I just whizz around. Gotten used to that too.

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@Original TOPIC

Are Naija men

LAZY?-- No.

Are Naija men INSENSITIVE?-- Heck Yes!!

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Its all about mindset and upbringing. My man told me straight never to struggle to carry things when he is around.He knows I can do it, he just doesn't want to see me do it.

I know a girl whos Nigerian husband is the same way, he doesn't let her struggle. On the other hand I know a girl whos Nigerian husband WILL NOT get a job, unless its one he wants to do. It depends on the upbringing, but it doesn't help that African culture sometimes does not to give too much space to the women in terms of her own humanity and what she can bear.

I also agree that often a man will do what he is asked to. They dont second guess like us women do.

@Gabry, I wanted to comment to you, but I dont want to open a can of worms unecessarily. I am glad your man is willing to help you out, I'll leave it at that.

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It's a pity that up till now people still don't get the point. Well, too bad.

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Ok, I'm a Malaysian and I am dating a Nigerian guy. I would always prefer to do everything myself without depending on anyone else and when I have him in my life, he basically would want to share every single thing with me. I like it alot but I;m just not use to it and I'm trying to get use to it. So when I go for shopping, he would help me grab a trolley, carry all the stuff which makes me really uncomfortable so I tend to always try grabbing the stuff away from him and things like that and we end up teasing each other all the time and we would laugh about it so I dont see him being bad in any ways. I'm not saying that he is perfect. he has his flauss just like any other people on earth including me but I love him for who he is. Guess I;m just trying to say that in this whole world, you will have good people and bad people and its like a lottery. If you meet up with the good ones, then you are lucky but if you dont, then you always have the choice to decide what turf you want to take next to make your life happier so please dont think negatively about a certain race just because one rotten apple spoils the whole crowd. Hope it helps

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wots the point of contributing when you v already made up your mind that they are either lazy or insensitive,guess you have enough comments neway

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Na fight,take am easy on dem gurls now!

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hot chic has said it all.

An average Nigeria man can carry anything to please his loved wife, but traditionally it is not encouraged. Hence to bring it up, the poster should not see it as being lazy or insensitive in the part of 9Ja men. If u want to see real LOVE in play, ask a sincere and resonable Nigeria girl.

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Most African men, Especialy Nigerian men are the real Deal.

Look before you Leap, "Curiousity Kills the Cat, Satisfaction made it Last"

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Some of the stuff I have read is not just applicable to some African men but men of all races. But I bet it can't be that bad.

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All these women should go and marry Ghanaian men or even go marry oyinbo sef.

If na so we bad, make you people go and marry other men. But make you no come back after everything scatter scatter because we sef no want 'ajeku' women.

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Though am not saying she should sit down and watch tv while the man cooks,you can help her while she's doing the cooking,once in a while,prepare her meal,carry her stuffs for her (but most of you guys won't even go shopping with her) and see how much she will turn out to appreciate this.

But most ladies can turn this into a routine and or something.

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Almondjoy, lol. I have my moments. I tell you, this site has been an education in itself.

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Krazied, Lets be honest , the  American male, be he White or Black,  seeing a Nigerian woman struggling with  all the bags while her Nigerian husband walks empty handed, would see it the same way as the original poster. Rightly or wrongly the usual complaint that Americans/British/ Carribeans have about Nigerian men is that they feel they expect their women to be slaves. Thats not my opinion of Nigerian men in general . But truthfully, thats how many non Nigerians see you.

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@ d- thing

gat to say you gat a loud mouth am sure you'll be among these new generation women always claiming female rights who'll always end up as old mean spinsters "hey no be prayer" i understand what u saying but things are not always what they seem imagine you entering your married bro's house and seeing him cooking in the kitchen while the wife watches TV u go shout bloody murder cause that's our tradition even those so called american men also won't do that 4 any lady "except u give am luv portion .

don't generalise that's what am tryin 2 say

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i ve bin going tru this thread and laffin. kpof kpof, jerry springer hahaha

this thing swings both ways, see some guys just plain think a wife is a slave, but some are willing, really willing to help out but most times women abuse this. they tend to start disrespecting the guy.

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I dont see why the guy should pay all the bills. Unless the woman is a housewife or stay at home Mum.

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Very wrong 4d man 2 allow his wife go thr. such stress. Lets not return 2d days of old in Africa where d woman is compelled 2 pass thr. similar stress. Please, men should show love to their wives especially in Africa by not letting them 2 over-labour themselves, they are the weaker sex, remember! :

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Una fit each other. No problem then! Sensitive man jam sensitive woman. Allah be praised!

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which is kind of true. although i don't know about the whole recharge card thing.

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Presido i know many a naija family and many naija men (through my hubby that is) I have also been down there.

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hmmmm,lazy,i dont think so.

as for me,i dont see myself going shopping with my wifey.reason?from experience

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Children - women can take care of

Open car door women can do that

Performing at night - the only thing that can make a man too tired for sex is his job

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I wonder if there's anything that women don't want men to do for them these days. . .he's supposed to clothe u, feed u, carry the baby, do the dishes, cook, and carry all the baggage, if not he doesn't love u. . .what manipulation.

yet the only thing they actually want to do for themselves is compete with men, status wise. . .good goin!

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Haba! African women, becos we don't carry shooping bag or push buggie now we are lazy. You can call us any name under the sun, i thought what a man can do a woman can do better. So all this shout about woman empowerment( i think we are all equal).

You want the men to:

pay for the shopping,

push the buggie,

push the trolley,

open the car door for u,

pack all the shopping in the car,

put the children in the car sit

and perform at nite

Haba!!!!!!

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@poster answer = both

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londoner-i like u alot o! i luv ur contributions onthe brightgirlee posts but plssssssssssssssssssssssssssss the guy just told u the problem wit dis debate and u still went on to generalize. ahn!ahn!

ki lo ma n se yin na!!

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It is sad to still realise that some fellas here still generalize personal issues or individual behaviour, when it is actually meant to be separated. First and foremost I stand to say that it is an understatement to say Nigerian men are insensitive. The fact that only one has behaved like a monkey does not make all others the same. Even in Nigeria we see a lot of men who help their wives in the day to day activity.

In summary this has to do with individual differences , it should not be generalised. pppplllllzzzzzzzz

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@ Richylaw, I am well aware that some men help with domestic things, this was one example.  How many Nigerian men braid their daughters hair though I wonder, let alone combing it? I think its very good that you do that, but If you tell your Nigerian friends that you braid hair, what is their reaction?

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Interesting, and what if the lady has enough money for shopping, ie because she has a well paying job?

I remember staying with one of my Aunts in the states, they have three small children. My aunt was at work and the daughters hair needed combing, instead of just combing the hair, it was left by her husband, simply  because it wasn't appropriate for a man to do. I thought it was so silly, why not just comb your own daughters hair if it needed it? Instead he would rather go out with her hair unkempt. Why should that be a measure of manhood? What about fatherhood?

I just dont get it, lol

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In a proper African setting.The man is at liberty to choose exactly where to assist in the household chores BUT what is most important is for him to provide MONEY for the shopping.

Anything less,he's not a Naija man.

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Not that Nigerian men are lazy, it is due to our culture/belief that men could only do dat under an influence of juju because our (Nigeria) men staying abroad do carry thief wives bags when go shopping here in Nigeria during holiday without care for any gossip. Even they let their families aware dat wives are not met to be slave.

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did u also tell us who paid the bill for the shopping spree? The woman or the man? I am looking for a woman who will pay all the bills for me and I [b]WILL[/b]L do all the chores and carries guaranteed. I promise

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hmmmmm, if nigerian men r that bad, go marry akata now. y u dey follow us come online dey run ur mouth?

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Make una go to this site http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1323751.aspx?p=2

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Nigerian men are lazy because Nigerian women don't appreciate a good hardworking man ! They'd rather run after yahoo boys or the politicians ! Average Nigerian woman does not know that there is plenty of love and values in the heart of a black man. All they do is call love "yeye" and run after some putt-bellied, Gorilla-looking politician. Awon Omo onisekuse !

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Somebody is going mad in this thread. Seun do something and close this thread.

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the problem is that lady is just try to be in charge,

u no this days now the lady like being in command.

like day always say what a man can also day can also

do it bester.

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funny thread, wether its a man or a woman courtsey demands u help out if u are idle or watever, if i see my husband carrying heavy stuffs, i sure have to help him out while he does the same,

lol, i wont even like my husband going to get groceries wid me,

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haha, girl, u're somethin' else. u tell 'em.i gotta go, gil. see ya.

@T@medo, thanks.

see, d irony of this whole thin' is that i never said i had a problem with naija dude or that american dudes were better but trust naija folks to always take things personally. Like really, come to think of this, this happened to "relatives" like i said and i already forgot about d whole incident but 2 days ago, it just crossed my mind and i was crackin' up 'cause i remebered how stressed d lady looked carrying all those stuff.

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shoot i'll marry them too if they gonna carry my bags and act more sensitive.

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Chiogo, from your opening statement you did sound like you were generalizing that all Nigerian men are either or insensitive. I can understand why so many were jumping you on here. On the other hand, you seem to have handled yourself well. Mamaput made some valid points, so did other posters. Maybe the guy was indeed engrossed with all the fascinating sites at the mall like a poster stated. As a naija man, we no dey hide our amazement especially coming from naija and visiting for the first time. Just because you witnessed the occurence does not necessarily mean every single Nigerian man is the same. Peace!

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Is This your Dream man?

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You never see anything! You are talking about carrying load? Well, I guess you are not a Nigerian. Visit some villages in Bayelsa, the women do fend for the family (fishing & farming) while the men drink ogogoro and play 'draft' while she's gone. My friend, certain things are peculiar to certain people. In india, the women pay the bride price (bridegroom price?). Check out the rate at which husbands kill their wives in the western world, is it comparable to africa? Why don't you copy that one? A lot of men and women cohabit and have children without being married in the western world, why don't you recommend that for africans? Do we call our women bitches in africa? You know what? Some of we blacks just want to be whiter than the whites. You would need a lot of concentrated acid to take you a bit near being white because bleaching creams won't do it. Just wake up Mr. Perfection.

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Meeeeeeeennnnnn naija guys/men I never knew you guys are this SENSITIVE! look at all that responses in just one wrongly asked question!

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