«Home

Dear Yorubas, What Happened?

Dearest yoruba brothers and sisters, what happened to our children and future generation born and bred abroad? They are unruly, disrespectful and very wild. Those qualities are never seen in Yoruba culture and are detested to the highest order. Can we make suggestions here on how to solve these problems starting from tutoring their parents/parent.

My suggestions are:

1) If you live abroad, reduce your bills to a considerate level and make out more time to stay with your kids while speaking YORUBA to them at home. They'll always speak "phone" english as long as they live and school in America.

2) If you are divorced or a single mother, please try as much as possible to send your SON/S home to do their high school education, that way they'll learn some respect especially how to respect women.

3)Liase them with every Yoruba social/cultural group around you to help them know each other. Ibo people do that a lot, that's why they marry each other more here. You cannot operate easily without your people, the Asian will always resort to marry fellow Asian, same with latino, white, carribean etc and they always leave their chaff for you to take.

4) Yoruba groups/socialites, make sure you make your various meetings, parties etc attrtactive enough so these kids can look up to you . All the bickering and fighting should be put aside in their presence.

Avatar
Newbie
54 answers

nothing much, just work. u?

i guess it has been transformed to our own chat room, lol.

0
Avatar
Newbie

ive never heard of the name hola before, where is it from, as in what tribe?

@ topic

the way u bring up your child is up to you, just because you send ur child to naija does not automatically mean the child will learn some respect. just because u train ur child in the U.S.A does not mean ur child will end up a failure.

0
Avatar
Newbie

yes i have a name, lol, wat a silly question to ask.

do u have a name? n if so, wat is it?

im still at uni,

0
Avatar
Newbie

hahaha, so i have to be 40 to work out basic chemistry, chei what is the world coming to. b t w im half that age

grr sean, b t w means by the way, and not, between!

0
Avatar
Newbie

i was just looking at this topic yesterday, and came across ur 'name' and it brought me back to my chem days at skool. i even worked out what chemical u are.

yes n no, is a good enough answer for now.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Does kind of yes/no count too?

Are you a chemistry student or something

0
Avatar
Newbie

sorry i meant chemistry, so is that a yes?

0
Avatar
Newbie

r u doing a chamistry degree?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Blondie?? Nah, am far from that. Do I really gotta explain this? Here I go, I confuse myself by callin one thing another. When I'm thinkin 'tv shows' or 'comedy', am typing 'soaps'. Just like I confuse martin lawrence with Eddie murphy. I call the former d latter and vice-versa. I dunno why but I think martin looks like an Eddie and Eddie looks like a Martin. Weird, right?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Lol! @ lindsay lohan.

AMC = All My Children

OLTL = One Life to Live

GH = General Hospital

0
Avatar
Newbie

[Quote]. Shiest is the superlative of shy.[/quote] aiight, thanks!

[Quote] The same American kids who were smart when little grew up to do the stupidest of things, so you should think of another method of proving that Americans are superior because this one isnt' working o.[/quote]

Okk, you got me on that one. Haha, Lindsay Lohan.

[Quote] anyway let's talk of the stuff that actually interests you . . .

which soaps do you watch? AMC, OLTL, GH . . . ?[/quote]

What are those? Sorry, you're going to have to write those in full Cuz am not used to using acronyms for soaps. Hehehe.

0
Avatar
Newbie

[Quote]Abeg ooo no make me laugh here jare. . We are here chatting about being street-smart and you are discussing movies. Let's save nollywood episodes for another thread jor.[/quote]

Hahaha, ok.

[Quote] Maybe it boils down to the way one is brought up or it boils down to your talents as an actor. The FEW you have watched. Also speaking from experience, the many I have watched had kids who eased into acting and in my opinion perfected the roles assigned to them. I am with you that acting in Nigeria can be awful at times but I don't see how that measures your ability to speak out when you need to or your street smarts. Also remember that actors make up a minute percentage of the overall population. Not all American kids act just like not all Nigerian kids act[/quote]

Ha, the few I've watched is enough for me to know, please. The shy-est(is that a word?) or most reserved American kid actor can still not be compared to the Nigerian one, I'm sorry but it's true. I don't even watch much American movies either, am more into soaps. So, forget d population thingy. I think they're pretty equal in this case as I don't know much American kid actors either.

[Quote]You are contradicting yourself. you said you don't believe it works then you said it works sometimes. Of course it works and I speak from experience. It may not work on everybody, but that shouldn't be misinterpreted as not working at all[/quote]

Dude, you get my point, that's all that matters. The contradicting thingy was an error because I was posting in a rush.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@naija_diva, I cosign with ur post.

[Quote]how did you jump to the conclusion that nigerian kids are timid because they are book smart?  there is no correlation between the two.  dashing across the streets of of nigeria, seeing the way people live, experiencing the atrocious living conditions, hopping on those severely damaged danfo buses is almost enough to make you street smart anywhere, so don't even bring that into question here.

instead of generalizing all nigerian kids, why not say it's those you have come across that act in that manner?  you don't need to be silly to give respect to your elders when it is required.  if that means listening to them talk and then speaking your mind after, so be it.  engaging a war-of-words with your parents to assert that you are right does not mean you are outspoken, it just shows that you are a disrespectful, out of control child.  americans consider spanking disadvantageous, nigerians believe spanking works. different strokes for different folks.[/quote]

Posted on: Today at 02:44:52 PM Posted by: HCH3COO

Ok, I agree there was a generalization on my part. However, seeing the ills in the Nigerian society such as hunger and poverty doesn't necessarily make one street-smart. The whole of America is not a bed of roses. Lots of people in America see such in their everyday lives.

What I meant when I said street smart is being confident and out-going in public. Can you compare the acting skills of a Nigerian kid to that of an American kid?. The few Nigerian movies I' ve watched which had kids in them, the kids were either too shy to face the camera or too quiet when talking. It all boils down to the way one is brought up. The olsen twins, what age did those kids start acting? They must have been less than 5 but look how smart they were at that young age. And you dare say being outspoken isn't good.

I don't believe spanking works. It does work sometimes but not always. Some people grow a backbone to pain, y'know. If it works so much, why doesn't all students in Nigeria graduate with flying colors after receiving all those spankings for failing a test or exam? Hope you get the point.

0
Avatar
Newbie

never claimed it

*wonders how this fits into this conversation* shoot, when i see a misbehaved child i want' to spank them myself.

0
Avatar
Newbie

you're the one that's bringing respect and bad mouthing into this, 2 of which i never mentioned. true, you can speak your mind and show respect at the same time. but that's not what i was talking about right now.

0
Avatar
Newbie

who cares? why does everything have to end up being about race with you people. black is black.

0
Avatar
Newbie

instead of generalizing all nigerian kids, why not say it's those you have come across that act in that manner?  you don't need to be silly to give respect to your elders when it is required.  if that means listening to them talk and then speaking your mind after, so be it.  engaging a war-of-words with your parents to assert that you are right does not mean you are outspoken, it just shows that you are a disrespectful, out of control child.  americans consider spanking disadvantageous, nigerians believe spanking works. different strokes for different folks.

0
Avatar
Newbie

that's the same thing that i try to explain to some nigerian parents. you compare an average american kid to an average nigerian kid born in america, you can definitely see the difference in their behavior. american kids can speak their mind which to some who are not american might consider rude. sometimes they are but most of the time they are not.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Umm, you mind explaining what 'bombshell' means? Cuz je ne comprends pas all these 'downlow' talks.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Dis Guy, thank you, jare. Culture coo, torture nee. That's why an average Nigerian kid cannot be compared to an average American kid. Nigerian kids grow up . . .what's the word?. . .timid(worse than that) all in the name of culture. They can be book-smart but not street-smart. What do u expect when you're flogged like an animal over petty things. When they get old, they feel like they lost out on childhood fun and that's when drama starts! Hahaha.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I keep hearing this, 'in this country you are not allowed to beat your children' as if that's the only way to raise a child

sometimes the way they(parents/guardians0 say it; you'll feel they are looking for some 'sort' of release from the stress they are going through at work

although there are no studies to show it but the way many kids are brought up in nigeria affects their life as adults,

think about it in a country where parents beat their child mercilessly for playing football in their play time (usually after spending 8hours in school, three hours with a home tutor and one hour with the Arabic teacher!) or punish a three year old for colouring or doodling instead of writing a-z,1-10,000 with beautiful handwriting

0
Avatar
Newbie

look at where our culture has taken

I think parents actually use this culture excuse to get more time for extra dollars!!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

lazy?

That's funny. It's that lazy working that allow the parents to provide to pay for good schools in Naija while you all drown in Inner City public schools.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Am not trying any challenge with my blood.

goodluck to other parents that's willing to take the risk.

Seriously, I don't understand how sending my kid to naija is going to help him/her.

Now that the new generations are copying everything westernized, he/she might as well stay here and learn.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Gbam, faim. On point,

Chiogo you vex post that wan oh.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Pheww, there we go again with the age thing! Age does not mean wisdom. I'll leave it at that. The sooner Nigerians stop thinking that they're somehow better than western countries, the better for them and Nigeria.

Ofcourse I'll use myself or the people I know as example. I'm not going to say stuff I know nothing about. After all, the poster was focusing on just yoruba folks and not all Nigerians. It's your choice where you choose 2 raise your child. I'm just saying that all this 'we don't do that, we have culture in Nigeria' mentality needs to stop. I've seen worse behaviors displayed by the so-called nigerian-bred kids compared to some American kids. Where one lives is not all that matters but the people around you and the kind of upbringing your parents give you.

You must think that all American or UK-bred kids are rude, which is totally false. You can go to a ghetto school here in d states and still find right-thinking people. Just like I'm sure it is in Nigeria. It's up to a kid to decide who/who not to make friends with depending on the kind of advice/teachings given to the kid at home.

All these parents sending their kids to Nigeria to study while they, the parents remain abroad are all lazy. Just take up your responsibility and teach your child d way to go(it's in d bible) and when s/he grows up, s/he will not depart from it. Instead of depending on a so-called culture, which few people now practice. If this were the olden days, around d time my parents were kids, I would def. agree that Nigeria would be better to raise a kid but not in these times. Nigeria is off the chain right now! I mean, off the chain.

0
Avatar
Newbie

OmG! @ Sagamite, tell me you were joking in ur post.

Last time I checked, there are TVs and cables in Nigeria. Even people without TVs know who 50 cent is. Are you kidding me?? I live in the US but I rarely watch TV. Why? Cuz I don't have time. Yes, we got cable and I watch BET when I have the time, it's pure entertainment for me. None of those people are my role models or anything. I also don't wanna be a model even though I watch Tyra banks and the rest. A modelling agency once called my house but I told them I'm not interested because it's not the kind of career I want, not that there's even anything wrong with being a model anywayz.

You can watch as much TV as you want but it can only influence you negatively if you let it. It still boils down to your parents, believe it or not. FYI, not all parents in the states work so many hours that they don't have time for their kids. Just like not all Nigerian parents who don't work many hours or work at all pay attention to their kids. Just going to school is enough for a kid to be negatively influenced. I understand that. But Nigerian schools aren't that safe either. I've schooled in Nigeria too and there were teenage pregnancies, etc in ur so-called naija. Here at my high school, I know a couple of girls who got knocked up. They're not my friends or anything. People laughed when they heard she was pregnant. So, just because something is common in America doesn't mean it's encouraged or embraced. I got to learn that. There's so many crazy things in America because it's a free country - u choose how 2 live ur life. Only ur parents can tell u what 2 do. And if u choose not 2 listen 2 them, whose fault is that?

As for ur comment about kids being rude to elders. That is a typical Nigerian talk. Nigerians believe that once you're an elder,you're never wrong and it's ok to stomp on people and it won't be considered bad because you're an 'elder'. I'm sorry but that's bullshit. And about you preferring hypocrites, that's ur choice. As for me, I'll rather raise kids who keep it real. Hypocrites pretend for so long that when they let it out, it leaves everyone shocked.

Believe it or not, lots of Nigerians living in Nigeria are already influenced by the TV you're talking about. They've adopted everything American - the hip hop dressing, american accent, etc. I don't know the Nigeria you're talking about but there's now a tiny difference between naija TV and that of america. Nigerian videos now have half-Unclad women on them, there are now Nigerian rappers, etc. So, what difference are you gonna make by sending ur kid there? I bet u that lots of Nigerians living in Nigeria listen to American music more than those here. I'd rather stick to the devil I know, if u get my point.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Chiogo, I think you are making a fundamental mistake in thinking that in the present world we live in today, that parents are the biggest influence on their kids behaviour.

The fundamental influence on kids in the setting of their environment which includes TV, peers, parents, intrusive social governance (can't smack kids) etc. The most risque in the western world in my opinion is TV. The crap kids are being fed is scary. Parents have to compete in the labour market to sustain a living so have less time to influence kids, so their influence has wained. Kid's watch low lifes like 50 cent on TVs in the house, in their bedrooms and on the net almost 24/7 and get sucked into the unrealistic glamour lifestyle.

Go and ask kids in the UK what they want to be in future and see what proportion of girls would say "model" and proportion of boys would say "footballer". You think they learn this from their parents?

Go to Nigeria and ask the same question.

The environment matters, hence where one lives matters, as kids would have to deal with a variety of influences to shape their thinking and behaviour.

A child that grows up in Idaho is going to be different from a child that grows up in New York.

There is no chance in hell I am bringing up a child in the god-forsaken UK and US.

I would rather have the 2 girls in your example than have kids that openly insult elderly people and don't even mind slapping them as I see in the UK.

0
Avatar
Newbie

dreeldee, I completely agree with you.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I really don't think taking a Child back to Nigeria will make them respectful na!!. I have heard of several cases and one happened to a family friend of mine. She went back to Nigeria with her Children for them to start High School but at the end, due to bad influence and their inability to get along with their peers, it failed and she was still faced with what she was trying to avoid, the issue of culture and respect. On the other hand My Aunt children here are just as respectful as their Nigerian counterpart with proper upbringing.I'm not trying to be religious here but i still believe our religion has a lot to do with our norms and the way we live our lives, remember the Bible said " Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it" It still goes down to how well you train your children which has to do with the attention you give to them and all that but not the country . you could train your children any where and they could be disrespectful and vice versa.

0
Avatar
Newbie

There are some Nigerians, including myself, that attended High Schools here, yet, still maintain their "culture" and its mentality.

Sometimes, it has to do with the efforts that the parent and the child puts in

Even some my cousins that were born here love everything Nigerian. (Most times, I think they're just doing too much!!! )

0
Avatar
Newbie

The initial premise of this thread was talking about the moral decadence and not necessarily Yoruba proficiency. I mean, your child can speak and write yoruba very well but the western influence will still make him/her become unruly and disrespectful. Honestly, if your kids attend high school here in America, there is no limit as to what they can do. Very few kids here survive the influence of high school baptism and in most cases, their parents worked a little harder to be there for them.

0
Avatar
Newbie

It's uncomfortable but sometimes those hard sacrifices pay off big time. But I understand your plight.

0
Avatar
Newbie

How much culture can you learn in say . . 2 years of living in Nigeria, scratch that . . . Lagos?  Discipline maybe.  You learn to interact with a bunch of crooks while living in a depressive economy. Culture is a living breathing thing that changes continuously.  The culture of yesterday differs from today's.  People just place way too much importance on speaking the native language.  why should i have to bother if my kids don't have to function in that environment?

I still plan on taking my kids back there so whatever.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Is it the parents who are showing off their American Accents with[i] worra, borrul, lirrule, whereuwet, compura, blezzing[/i] in their Bugle Boy Jeans, who will teach the Children Yoruba? Aren't we asking a lot here? I say send the kids AND the parents back to Nigeria to go learn culture.

For those who don't speak Yorubanized English with American Accent,

Worra - Water

Borrul - Bottle

Lirrule - Little

Whereuwet - where you at

Compura - Computer

Blezzing - Blessing.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@poster, I don't really get your point. We're talking about kids abroad being disrespectful, right?? Correct me if am wrong. What makes you think that sending the kid to Nigeria would make them 'respectful'?.

All Nigerian-bred kids are not respectful, y'know. Just like all American-bred kids are not disrespectful. It's up to the parents to teach their kids what's right and wrong. Being respectful is an individual thing, it rarely has anything to do with where you live. Yes, we know Nigerians are usually 'respectful' mostly because they have to, not because they want to. That's one reason I love America - you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

While in Nigeria, I saw two young girls see an elderly woman and as a sign of greeting or whatever, they knelt down on d dusty ground. Once they stood up, they whispered some horrible things about her. Am like 'wtf?'. Really, why do they have to pretend?. Is that the kind of respect or culture you're talking about.

Well, America is not such a great place to raise a kid but it also has its advantages that sometimes, I change my mind about sending my kids(when I have them) to Nigeria for their education. For example, kids are not whupped or flogged in schools here. Who likes their kids 2 be flogged by some frustrated teachers? Thanks, I'd rather do it myself.

As for the language thingy, I know kids who were born here but speak their languages. I have cousins in Nigeria who were born, bred, and still living in naija yet they cannot speak igbo. Respect has to do with the way one is brought up not where you live. Parents should not shy away from their resposibilities by taking what they think is the easy way out, which is sending their kids to Nigeria for education. Some might actually get worse in Nigeria without their parents watching over them. Hey, it does work for some people but it's def. not the only option to raise a kid well.

Pheww, that was long! Forgive me, y'all. I get carried away. And am not even yoruba, oops!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Where is that? I hope you don't mean Nigeria because it'll be a shame.

0
Avatar
Newbie

The problem is not speaking it to the kids on time esp. at home. I know couple of kids here, not up to 10 yrs old that speaks Igbo. Infact, there is an igbo skool here and the level of participation is high. Once you speak to dem, they would get it. That's just like me though writing and reading is a no go area and YES, i went 2 a FEDERAL BOARDING SKOOL, Infact, ma lil family friends here speak proper NNEWI dialect,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Well, your statement flawed my hypothesis although environment may be a factor. Had it been you grew up in Egypt for example, you are more likely to speak ibo than yoruba because your mom is ibo. Men are so poor in transferring their mother tongue to their kids. I still believe you should be able to at least understand ibo unless your mother alienated herself from her relatives.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Girl, don't believe everything you read online because some of these people whining about Ibibios or Efiks are not even one.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Family!

Boarding house ke? Nooo.

0
Avatar
Newbie

when I say the ones here, here is referring to Nairaland, funmi

as for the ones I know, I live in NY so we have a decent size of the Igbo community.

as for Ibibo, plenty of threads with them syaing their language is dying out because kids of now think it's "razz" and "local" so they refus eto learn or speak it.

lol@ debo. If the English was even correctly used at least it wouldnt be such a dilemma, Ironically it's not.

0
Avatar
Newbie

same thing yorubas complain. Thank god you said the ibos YOU KNOW and what about other tribes like Efik,Ibibio,hausa,itsekiri etc. I don't know where you live but generally, the yorubas are higher in population than Ibos in the UK(London and Liverpool to be precise), so, you should have more kids speaking my mother tongue than the ibo kids but the vice versa is the case here(seems my people no really like hanging out here) . I've lived in Nebraska, Buffalo,Pittsburgh and Germantown and I can tell you categorically that ibos outnumber yorubas in those towns but you'll not know unless you come out from your own clique. same I heard in Chicago, Houston,Dallas and LA. So, will you conclude that ibos speak more of their mother tongues in these states i mentioned because of their diverse population?

0
Avatar
Newbie

I'm strongly for taking my kids back home for a couple of years. I broached the subject with my mum sometime ago but she didnt seem too in favour of the idea. If my wife is fine with it then i think its the best way to give them a proper grounding in a culture they can readily identify with.

I can't imagine raising a kid here who doesnt know where Lagos is on the map.

0
Avatar
Newbie

That's a big problem and the issue of taking them back home or even teaching them your culture may be out of the question. Although, children born by interethnic couples like ibo+yoruba end up speaking their mother's tongue if they live in a [b]neutral [/b]environment.

0
Avatar
Newbie

They can learn both David. There were quite a number of half Romanian and Russian kids in my school. They could speak both parents languages. It's not that hard to do if you start them from young

Best thing my parens ever did was send us to Naija for secondary cos I sincerely hated being here around that time.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.