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Do Anambra Men Marry Women From Other States?

a friend of mine has developed friendship with a guy from anambra state but she is scared the r/ship wont go far because the guy is an igbo guy. my friend thinks igbo guys don't like to marry from other tribes (my friend is from bayelsa state). please cld this be true? she would like to know as this will determine her continuing the friendship or backing out now before her heart gets too involved.

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"Why do people have a problem with that? Is it because because people, for some reason, get offended by other people's preferences? But why should they be offended?" -- ChinenyeN [Me]

So, sentiments is what differenciates one kind of decision-making discrimination from other kinds of decision-making discrimations? Wow. So even if the processes and actions are exactly the same, they cannot be classified within the same category just because someone might feel hurt by someone else's preferences? You know what, I won't even discuss the idea of sentiments here because that is beyond the scope of this discussion. On top of that, if I said what I had to say, many, many people wouldn't like me (not that they do now, anyway), even though there will be defnite truth in what I'm saying. 

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In summary, there's nothing wrong being racist?

I don't consider this a good argument anyway.

We are talking about human feelings being hurt and not petty decisions over material goods like blue and red cars which in no way are persons that feel when discriminated against.

It enhances/imprints tribalistic sentiments and you wonder why there is so much divide in Nigeria.

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@Topic,Yes Anambra men marry from other states in igboland.

@OP,tell your friend that If the guy really wants to marry her,he would and the parents have no choice than to accept her,the problem here is Does the guy really want to marry her?.

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Okay. Personal experience. You know what, I won't even dabble with that because from what I know conerning this issue (what I've inquired about and from personal experience as well), the people were "encouraged" not "forced". Also, I am using encourage in it's strict sense (promote, recommend, expression of approval or support). That's what I mean by "encourage[ment]". I can safely say that of ALL the marriages and relationships that I personally know of and have inquired about, none have had forceful parents. That isn't to say that there are forceful parents (i.e. those who may take encouragement to an extreme -- like the general analogy you stated), because there are. I won't dispute that. But the senselessness of forceful parents can be left for a different discussion. So far as I'm concerned, and from what I know, there is nothing wrong or senseless about Igbo parents encouraging their children to marry from specific Igbo states.

 

"what's the point of instilling anything into children? They will grow and deviate from it anyway, will they not? Their heart will tell them otherwise. Their emotional sentiments will pull them in a different direction. Their instincts/desires will make them reconsider what they think as opposed to what they were brought up with. So what is the point of instilling anything into them?"

Do you see what I'm getting at here? The question you asked should not have been asked at all. The whole purpose of instilling anything into children is in hope that they grow and pass on your ideologies, your culture, your preferences, your way of life to the generation after them. It is all done in hopes that specific traits (cultural, personality, physiological, etc.) survive. Although there is no guarantee that the child will stick to what the child has been taught, it doesn't mean that there is no point in instilling the teachings, ideals, practices, etc. into the children, because there is still so much hope that the child can/will grow up and stick to what he/she has been taught. Everyone is familiar with the saying that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree". That is the ideology behind instilling things into children. There are exceptions, but for the most part, that's just the way it is. So, you might want to reconsider that statement. You should have thought that through before you typed it.

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I have personal reasons for saying "forced". Don't want to sound insulting, but can you hear yourself? Children grow up and form views away from the conventional ideals they were brought up in when it comes to matters of the heart, so what's the essence of instilling who you would like them to get married to?

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stillwater: Forced? How did you come up with that? And seeing as to how you didn't really answer my question, I'll ask again. How is an Igbo parent encouraging the child to marry from a specific (or their) state senseless?

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Stop confusing yourself. You say ecouraged whereas people are forced to marry within the state. Again what's the reason behind the fact that parents and relatives go as far as disrupting marriages with outsiders in the name of encouragement because they are not from the state? That is where the senselessness comes in, if you ask me.

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The topic is about Anambra-Igbo marrying within Anambra State (this implies marrying Anambra-Igbo, seeing as to how Anambra is considered and Igbo state). That being said, most, if not all, Anambra-Igbo people are encouraged to marry within Anambra (meaning they are encouraged to marry other Anambra-Igbo people). What is senseless about it? What is difficult about it to understand?

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Ok make me understand. What is so special about marrying from your own state? Is there any super thing you derive from it?

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What we don't understand is foolishness to us

1 Corinthians 1:18

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It's so "ewwww". And quite senseless.

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@poster

Yes we do!!!

But we have to be so into you for us to be able to convince relatives of our choice.

Bottomline: If the guy in question truly loves you, and is determined to, he'll marry you. QED.

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My take on this is this; your friend should take things easy

and let things flow naturally. If she and this guy in question

are destined to be 2gether, tribe would never come in between

them (Period).

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really feels that there are strong enough emotional feelings for her to consider the next phase of their relationship, then she should by all means go ahead. I'd advise her not to though.

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thanks all for ur comments.

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girlie2000: No problem. Like tpia said, your friendshouldn't live in fear. If she's unsure of the whole issue, then she should really confront him head on. She should either do that, or just ride the whole thing out and see where it goes. According to what you've said, she's already built up some kind of relationship/friendship. You mentioned that she has built up a friendship with the guy. So does that mean that as of now, there is no guy-girl relationship going on between them? They're just friends?

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thanks so much ChinenyeN. i think we are beginning to get somewhere, at least get a clue into this whole issue. as for my friend asking the guy in question, i had earlier suggested that, but she declined, saying that she doesnt want to be too forward. i see reasons with her though, hence trying to find out this way.

more comments are welcome pls.

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What you're mentioning isn't even limited to external ethnic groups. Even within Igbo, most Anambra people (guy or girl) tend to marry within Anambra state. From what I've seen, witnessed and what I know, Anambra people marrying within Anambra is highly encouraged. Anambra people marrying outside of Anambra isn't scoffed at, but the preference tends to be for other Anambra people. Generally speaking, you're friend has a reason to worry, but like everything else though, there are exceptions. Your friend shouldn't bother herself about it so much. Maybe the guy isn't the kind of Anambra guy that would prefer to marry Anambra, maybe he is. She should ask him.

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thanks all for ur comments and advices. it is greatly appreciated and i think i am in a better position to advice my friend now and help to lay her fears to rest. thanks a lot.

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