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I Am African, My Boyfriend Is IGBO, Can We Make It? Help Me Please.

Please my treasured people,

help me.  My boyfriend and i have been going out for 3 years.  he is igbo.  i am african.  if we got married (cause he asked me), what are the chances we will last?

Also, although am african, i worry that i am not too familiar with naija culture, cause one day, we may go back there.  as a foreigner there - will i cope?

how do igbo people accommodate foreign african women?

hit me.

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This is just for sound effects.  With tender love.

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91 answers

make una no dey revive this kind thread abeg.

lol

i'm almost tempted to put that girl in my profile.

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http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=130674528822

YORUBA GROUP ON FACEBOOK FOR PROVERB

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lmao

make una no dey resurrect this kind thread abeg

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YOUNGDICES please answer OGAMADAM's is better for. Dont start. Why u pp always think that u better than others in any place there is beauty and uglyness okay dont do that. i can send ua pic of one ur ugly sib,

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@Poster

Yes you can, i dont see any reason why not!!!

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I having laughing and crying. Those pictures were amazing. Did she put vasiline on her face. Why is his pants like that. Amazing. Your both beautiful, awolowo

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Where is basket mouth? give these people need counsel.

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If you are happy im happy.

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Damn girl i can't say you are urgly or beautiful rather, i think my brother is blind spiritual and physical, i think my brother's parents won't tolorete you cos we have princess and queens back at our homelands.

Compare yourself and this girl.

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I broke up with him so it doesnt matter aight.

By the way your not ailiens, but in future, going out with someone who is more like me will make my relationship easier, Nigerians are better off with each other.

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nah,

none taken.  well me and my boyfriend have now reached the end of our road.  I think i came here because of all the reservations i had about our relationship.

for us, i think our differences are too big.  its been on and off, on and off, well now its perpetually off.

i wanted something to work that wouldnt work i geuss.  i think also i just bumped into the wrong person.  i wont date nigerian again.  its done for me now.  been there, done that bought the Tshirt and the video.

To be honest, i think i feel relieved.  i would have to put up with much if i got married to him, God had to stop it.  For my sake.

Anyways, if yous all the same, and have a lot of similarity and stuff, thats good right?

speak to you later

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lol. I'm sorry. I guess I should have read it properly. We've been together for a few years, we've been dating since high school and now we're juniors at the same university. He and I are similar in many ways, such as personality and morals, so our difference in culture do not affect us that much. I'm not sure how close you and your boyfriend are but you should talk to him about how you feel. He might have some resolutions to your fears, maybe even suggest ways to adjust gradually into his culture. I know most Nigerian families are very conservative so they value tradition. If you acknowledge and respect it, even though you might not agree with it, then you not have big problems. Try to learn two or more important values of your boyfriend's family and truly understand it. It will put you more at ease once you've studied his culture and family. In return, he will do the same for you. Well that's it. I hope I was helpful. Good Luck.

p.s. sorry about the pic comment. No hard feelings right?

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read the post carefully.

i said pics were for special effects.

anyways,

How long have you been out with your boyfriend?

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I'm in the similar situation but we have not discussed marriage yet. However, it shouldn't matter whether or not he is Nigerian and you are not. The important aspect of your relationship is that you understand and respect each other's culture. Having that respect will make you love stronger. Hope this helps you with some of the doubts you have. Goodluck.

p.s. I'm gonna say this as nice as possible.I have a lot of guys friends that are Nigerian and my boyfriend is Nigerian. No offense. I just want to know why you chose that particular boy out of all the good looking Nigerians out there?

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I wonder what nairaland is turning to nowadays, someone came in for advice, if you know you dont have any tangible advice to offer her why dont you move on, she has said it several time that she is not the one in the picture still people keep on asking the same question over and over again, i dont know why people are talking more of a picture than the advice which she asked for in the first instance, we need to grow up and stop behaving like a kid.

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@bluenubian

puuhhlease i have seen ur pictures, u arent anything special so chill out. whoever told u, u were all that lied ot ur fat Bottom.

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if u want 2 u will, his family should be ur concern, ma igbo people u diggg?

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thanx madam and best of luck to you too

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thanx a million aproko.

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Why dont you people just leave OgaMadam alone.

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vronnie,

what you say makes a lot of sense. and for you i think you will be just fine. cause i think a true sign of how genuine they are is that he takes you to the place from where he comes. and to his people. so you guys sound like your going strong. and if you return to usa once a year. that cant hurt. all the best to your marriage.

malaika.

someone in my defense! finally. thanx for that. and you got a lot of it right. only that when i said am "african" i did not want to be forced to reveal which part i come from. mainly because once i say it, how do i know my other naija friends wont put 1 and 2 together and pinpoint me. i do it for aninomity. although am not coloured, im actually black. but thanx for your defense.

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madam, i understand how you are feeling I'm also getting ready to marry a Nigerian man I'm afro-American, yes it is scary but at the same time it's exciting we will be moving to Nigeria (calabar) in January so I'm just going to enjoy and en brace my new experience . so i suggest you do the same he will teach you what is most important to him and that is what really matters. and what really matters to me is that we have made an agreement to return to the states ounce a year so other wise I'm ready . so take care and enjoy the experience.

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its hard to explain. but i understand what you mean.

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not necessarily, cause you have other topics there about nigerians dating chinese. is that not culture?

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because your topic is more about culture and how to deal with it.

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Seun

why did you move my post from romance, i want it to go back there.  thats were all my peopes be at.

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igbo beauty that was handy thanx

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i think you not nigerian you must be from liberia or ivory coast cuz togo,ghana,benin,and naija gilrs don't look like that hell no.

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I'm igbo and I believe that you don't really need to learn their customs unless you're going to live with him in his village maybe there it would be better for you to know. Whereas if you're going to be living in the city with him then you don't have too, and I think that he should love you for you and you shouldn't have to change your ways just coz you feel that it's compulsory. (See great advice froma girl who watches too many nigerian films, especially igbo ones.

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please ask her again. some scammers!!!!!!!

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*****Yawns lazily****

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what have u gained in spilling my name over your post?

pork grow up, oops i don't mean to be abrupt, still working on quitting twitching.

pick battle? are u gagging? whats your stress?

My name is lisa surnamed Jonah, whats shady about me, maybe that came out after glancing at u in the mirror.

your post is drivel so whats the essence?

Abeg arange yourself sharp sharp, i bi typical Nigerian from down south.rubbish!!

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You'll fit in very well just be yourself

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Mekoyo

its just that my WHOLE life is going to change. and that is kind of scary. i love him to bits and pieces but sometimes i just get visions of me in Nigeria, with Nigerian people, and then they will be gossipping about me in their dialects. i will do my best to learn igbo and pidgin.

Yesterday my boyfriend and i had one of those "talks". I feel COMPLETELY at home with him - there is no doubt in my mind about him its scary.

but my family, you know, i think even me! a nigerian guy was the LAST person i ever thought i would end up with. I thought i'd end up with a white man!

But when i saw him, i knew in the first few hours i was going to spend my life with him.

So yes, i am a bit worried about how i will fit in Mekoyo.

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Nice pic,you two will definetly make a nice couple.so keep your finger crossed and dont be affarid.

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I don't think people are reading this post carefully.

do you think my intellect is matched by those photos?

Ofcourse its not me.  i said "for sound effects"

comprendo?

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were these cute photos taken in holywood, carlifornia? but what photos are these, an ancient woman and an archaic man? are you guys really like these or they're fake? by the way, are there no better background to take photos except the walls?

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mekoyo,

THANKYOU!

Your the only one that has replied precisely.

anyways, i do have friends, who have dated nigerian guys, and they are african, i.e. Zambian, and they have succeeded (and still are going out).  but its just that they have doubts they would ever live up to the standards of a nigerian woman.

I have heard it said "SHE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE IGBO".

So why can't i ask that question if as a non-nigerian person, im looking for advice about igbo customs etc.  i look to get serious with my boyfriend, and i have taken recipes so i can learn how to cook his food and all. 

at the end of the day his happiness is important to me, and i as lady, cause ladies usually adjust to a man, have to learn how to cook for him.

In my culture we have customs too. customs can help amongst other things to keep relationships going. one of our customs is when a child is born, it has to be taken to grandparents, and other influential people in the family. If its female, a band of beads has to be put around its little waist. i am not saying we all have to follow custom but i would like to know, what my husbands customs are. is that a sin?

I just came here so people could teach me different things.  And im not only saying online is the place to learn this, other places too, from friends etc, this is just for me another source of information.

Anyways Mekoyo, thanx for your answer.  i was needing that.

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Nigerians dont look like Africans as oyinbo ok?

If you still have that thinking facultylet me tell you that Nigeria has gone beyond that level, we are civilized people.

Now to your question, if you truly love each other then there is no problem except you just have a feeling that you cant get married because there are many Nigerians out there or Africans that have gotten married from different continents.

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One of the things i hate in my life is making inconsequential matters a real issue,

Ogamadam, did u have to create a thread for this? If you claim to have an Igbo boyfriend, he should have Nigeria friends as well that could help you with advice. How'd u know that Nigerian's are tribalistic people (which is not totally true) if u don't have facts already about igbos. Is it that u came here to confirm what u know? Your thread is meaningless hence u are getting kicks instead of concern from your posters. Like someone said, play games with your time if u are bored and stop littering nairaland with unwitty threads.

Its true You sound so nigerian, i have met with your type online before. your clons are everywhere, You have same style which is becoming rather sickening. Tell your network of friends. try something different for a change, it'd keep u healthy.

PS: every normal person knows being oneself in a relationship is the paramount, Irrespective of difference in cultural background so, what advice do u need?Afterall u are both africans isn't it?

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Sartorious, or how do i spell your name sorry.

anyways, as long as your happy. but i hope you also understand that those pics are actually NOT me.

read the whole post carefully and you will see that its just 2 african people (probably Kenyan) chatting with each other.

I had a laugh myself when i saw this, so i had to share it wit yall.

Nuff Luv

Madam.

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lol @ chigemba and omoge

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@ ogamadam

please remove those pics , i threw up 10 times b/c they r to beautiful to be real

anyways u and ur bf can work out if the 2 of u really want to just 4get bout culture and think bout urselves and ur happiness in the future

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