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Is It Proper To Call Your In-Laws 'Brother', 'Sister'?

My cousin just got married to this Yoruba guy. Her mother-in-law told her that she must call all her husband's younger siblings and relatives (though she's older than them), brother , and sister , as long as they were born before she got married. Is this proper at all?

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31 answers

I know what you mean and agree, My mom told me the samething as well, it is definitely a Yoruba thing

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Yeah i never like that part of yoruba culture. I remember wondering when i was growing up why my mother called my aunties "aunty-----" and my uncles "uncle ------" when they were 2 or more years younger than her. Its a thing to call the older siblings that, but the younger siblings?? If i should get married anytime soon, i had just stick to calling my husband youngest siblings sisi------ or brother ------- or just call them by their names, after all i am older than them.

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that is how they do in yorubaland and if u try to prove them wrong they will see u as a disrespectful wife.that if u are not strong enough they will make life miserable for u.

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most yorubas actually have a promblem that is undefined,honestlt! i dated my husband for bout 6 years, and thought his family was free from all dis rubbish because they are educated, but no nooo! the moment we got married, they started bringing all sorts of rubbish rules for their silly heads to obey, my husband is such a nice dude, but i honestly regret he comes from such a family, i always wish i didnt marry him because of this, its even worse off for me because im not yoruba....i advice you young ladies out there, NEVER marry a yoruba man ( i dont know if other tribes are like that)if youre not yoruba, u cant understand unless you get into it, its even worse off if d guy is a mummys boy and has a family that pretends 2 b nice whenever he is around

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What nonsense. I don't even call my husband's older siblings brother or sister except the two oldest who are my parents age. The rest get the first name when Iam in a good mood and when I am pissed enough they should be happy to get a "hey you" or "dis boy"

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For peace to reign call them what ever they want it doesn't make you any lesser and them any better.

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soulpatrol, na true now, if what i call them all is damn important, they call could all run wild bearing Negros

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I call my inlaws by their names, regardless.

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sometimes, depends on how close you are to the in-laws, how nice they are to you.

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In as much as I'm indifferent to such, my advice to her would be that she'd better just do it.

Trust me she has practically nothing to lose by doing it compared to the whirlwind she'll incur if she doesn't.

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well i call my related brothers and sisters by their first names, so why should i call my in-laws 'brother' 'sister', its not part of my culture so i won't change to please the mother in law.

lol, what i funny thing to ask.

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ow11, u even worse than me, i would have told them to go and jump the train.

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you know some cultures, especially yoruba, like to over-do things. i think it's partly to frustrate the person.

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call them by their names SIMPLE!

Mr. X, Mrs. Y and so on

if they hate it then they can go and get run over by a car

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Why would i wanna call in-laws sisters or brothers, according to english language where we borrow that word bro and sis from, they dont fall into that category, if they are older than me, i might called them Mr. duh or Ms. Duh, that is the best i could do, but if i wanna do the yoruba english, i could called them, uncle or madam, and that one sef sounds kinda somehow, this is why all these marriage thing get as e be jare, i beg i don waka.

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At least titilayos case is fair on a good day in nigeria we believe that 365 days is not a joke and people expect you to give those older than you are respect be it a relative or a stranger.The only problem is when people think that they did the woman a favour by allowing their son marry her and to show apreciation she should kiss asses i had a friend whose brother got married he takes control of the house and wife when egbon no dey.He gives order and tells her what to do foe the day even his younger sis was angry that iyawo dint fetch bathing water for her on time to crown it all this girl pass them for age with like 5 yrs o.Yoruba's are the worse culprits in this kind of thing where Iyawo is expected to be a glorified house help.

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@soulpatrol, lol you got me wrong.(can't imagine calling my own brother's wife aunty- except he marries someone really older than he is ) My sister in law to be ( my fiance's sister) wants the sister/aunty title, which is okay cuz she's 2 yrs older than i am. But i have a brother who's the same age as my sis inlaw to be, whom i don't call no brother sh*t. On a gd day, you don't go about calling 2/3 yrs older peeps bro/uncle or sis/aunty, just this inlaw wahala of a thg.

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The thing pass me o, .Why must anybody clamour for aunty or uncle, honestly, its just BS. I'm in it now too, just tht mine still dey a bit fair,atleast she's 2yrs older than i am, though my own brother who is 2yrs older than me, i no dey call am broda, or uncle or wat not.

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Kai woman don suffer for this world all in the name of marriage.Tell that lousy in law that you cant call anyone younger than you bro or sister that its a taboo in your tribe rather they should call you sister afterall na marry you come marry no be to lick asses.

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Actually, the husband is the one who is supposed to call his siblings to order by letting them know that his wife isn't used to such practices. He needs to approach the issue tactfully by making them realise that such prefixes do not add or detract from their worth as human beings. So why the fuss?

Another thing, the lady can do is to call them the 'brother' or 'sister'  title, that they are clamouring for. It doesn't cost anything & it will buy her some peace. If she still doesn't like the idea, she needs to get her husband to talk to them, quietly & respectfully, about this issue. But on no account, should she turn it into a confrontation. Doing so, will erode the valuable goodwill she needs, in order to make her marriage & her relationship with her in-laws, succeed.

In Yorubaland, a woman doesn't just get married to her husband alone, she is also seen as being married 'into' the family. Blending into a family through marital ties, takes a little bit of give & take and a certain amount of work.

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my own philisophy is to sha stand your ground and dont be a mumu by doing whatever they tell you to all in the name of culture. repect is given to only people that deserve it. tell your mother-inlaw in the most repectful way what you will or wont do. no be by force. trust me, you can be the nicest daughter-inlaw, but you go still get enemy among your in-laws.

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@Seun

Who takes the lead in the cautioning (better still, enlightening),we, right?

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@ laudate

thats the only solution oh. when the next iyawo comes bellus shifts!

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Such annoyances should be discovered and settled before marriage so you can face more important challenges.

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It's usually when the relative is older than the wife. Never heard it for younger people as that wouldnt make any sense.

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Why didn't they say that before she got married? Her husband needs to tell his mother to mind her own business.

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thats d way it is done o my dear obinrin.

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is the mother living with them or something?

she should call them brother and sister as in "take them as you brothers and sisters" or call the "uncle emeka, aunty dunni"?

If they are older fine, if they are younger she should take them as her younger brothers/sisters or tell them to bugger off!

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It is proper, else, i will call them

Papa Negro

Mama negro

Lady negro

Bobo Negro and lil' negros

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