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Nigerian Men And The '2nd Wife Or More' - Culture Or Modern Day Infildelity?

It is socially acceptable in certain cultures to have more then one wife(especially amongst Muslims) we are aware of that.

In Nigeria among most cultures this could be said to be practiced amongst most cultures and religions.

So as not to make this a religious debate/dissuasion lets concentrate on an other angle?

Would you be accepting if out of the blue your husband decides to take another wife or more?

As a Nigerian man would you take a second wife or wives and why what are the reasons for this?

Would you agree withthis culture or would you see this as an acceptable way for men to bring an other /women/woman or into the house to disguise infidelity?

Your views please?

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25 answers

I would like to ask a question maybe someone can help me

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actually i think the bigamy law applies only to christians as the nigerian constitution while deeply flawed recognises the fact that there were muslims in the forced union and i think the penal code was a mixture of all the different laws around then so most likely if you are a muslim your wife cant sue for taking another wife.

though i once had a friend whose father claimed to have converted to islam just to take another wife

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what i dont get is,why not be honest with the woman or man about being married.

why not be honest and let her decide if thats the kind of relationship she or he wants

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never happen. for it to be a second wife means i would be willing to stay. he already had his second chance and if he wants someone else then why would i want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me? im worth more then that

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most men did it in the old days when they were predominantly farmers for of practical reasons, loads of male and female children to work in the farms as there were to tractors and stuffs and it sort of crept into mainstream african culture and in the 50s,60s,70s, it was either ppl looking for male children who let it get out of hand or as a kind of cementing friendship,political or business interests and nowadays people do it more for status symbol as in i have arrived or to tighten friendships or connections but there are some irresponsible ones that do it cause they are, most of the women in the city that agree to it have a choice in most cases so i dont see it as being just the man's fault and some do it because they r prolly in their thirties or fourties and have lost hope of getting a single man and settled for that and some do it purely for the money, you ll be suprised how many mostly girls in their twenties in nigerian universities all jump at it and are prepared to go diabolical for a man to marry them even as a 10th wife as long as he is loaded

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In order for the husband to take on another wife, it has to begin with infidelity. I'm sure the husband will not initially let the wife know that he is out dating other women.

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Btayo1

twice or thrice you have been told to read the topic before posting your view by myself and another.

As much as you are free to post your view please use some thought process before posting.

Its getting tedious

Also it does not make you any what respected by getting personal with my self or any other it actually is embarrassing

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Polygamy and infidelity is not necessarily the same thing. If a spouse takes on another wife/husband with the knowledge and permission of the wife/husband than it isn't exactly infidelity, infidelity points more towards unfaithfulness to a marriage/relationship. Thats hard to do if its within the confines of the relationship as the two understand it. Its a tricky definition.

Men and women from all over the world cheat on their spouses, however in some societies not only is it a social norm, but an encouraged act. That is the difference.

There are societies where there is no stigma attached to a man having more than one wife, or a woman having more than one husband. Its something that should be discussed before getting married.

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@ Britgirlee, I do understand the post; in my last post i had used the first paragraph to debunk claims and views aired here that the level of Education or Intelligence is correlated to having the 2nd wife. I also stated the reason why Men (Not Just Nigerian Men) have a 2nd wife varies-therefore cannot be narrowed down to Culture and is Not Modern day Infidelity as 2nd wife is different from having a Mistress. Modern day Men rather practice Infidelity than take the 2nd wife option- the benefit of this option is a different debate. The Key Element here is Choice, freewill.

As posted by Justgood "Infidelity does not necessarily equate polygamy. Infidelity is worldwide and not unique to Nigeria, neither is it unique to men".

It obvious that you have a fascination for Nmen; that is quite understandable as we rank @ the Top amongst the black men.

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It appears that many people live in the past with regards to Nigeria and they just want to believe what they want so they can say things about Nigeria/Nigerians.

Infidelity does not necessarily equate polygamy. Infidelity is worldwide and not unique to Nigeria, neither is it unique to men.

Somebody said Nigerian laws wont work in polygamy cases as if she has ever taken such a case to court. The silliness of just try to drag Nigeria down is fascinating

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haba davidylan,

wetin britgirlee do you now?

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The little child who runs around making up these irrelevant threads just cannot wrap her mind around the concept of freewill.

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I disagree totally that the 2nd wife option is down to under education as there are well known legal luminaries, Economists, Accountants highly educated & intelligent men of high calibre who had or have more than one wife due to reasons (eg posterity, status, religion or culture) best known to them.

Do some research and you will find the above to be true; it is not unique to Nigerian Men see King Mswati III of swaziland- kindly stop bashing Nmen

@ Poster : It is a personal choice which i see nothing wrong in it as the existing wife can ask for a divorce and the new wife is not forced into marriage. It is a choice and conscious decision of all involved parties. Just as some females choose to remain single for reasons best known to them that this is not acceptable to you or me does not make it wrong or does it ?

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dependes on what you understand under educated.

for me education is not education

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here we go again. It must be Britgirlee's time of the month.

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Sure there is enough misstresses out there to keep men happy why should they put up with more than one 'nag'.

I think its becoming more and more outdated thankfully. One of my aunts in Jordan her husband took on a second wife and she split with him after twenty years of marriage and four children.

A man is supposed to do justice amongst his wives but can a man really do equal justice in that regard? surely the most desirable gets a little more.

Bottom line is, men don't need to take more than one wife exept for saudi were there are no potential mistresses there are plenty of able bodied broke, willing, non god fearing,lonely pretty women out there. What more can you ask for. Personally, no I would object to another wifey unless it were world war 3 and women and children were starving to death and needed help from a man. For charitable reasons I would allow it but not for reasons of want.

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Just good i was going to say the same but btayo1 beat me to it

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i would have said this in an other way.

its not all people that do this.

its only men of low class or no class that do that. this dose not have anything to do with the amount of money he has or his religion.

a normal "educated" man knows the difference between a wife and a mistress assuming he has one

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almaond joy

HEY GIRL, YOU KNOW THAT?

Love the debate you could as said it better im sure it will be hit with critism but enlighting

I will have to agree here with the two eye shut syndrome it is the unseen 'traditional wedding' that some times subcomes to this and the closed rank theory that does not let this be seen in the legal system

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Simple definition of polygamy. "multiple spouses or multiple mates"!!!!!!

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for once i have(sad to say ) to agree with just good.

It is against the law to marry more than one wife in Nigeria. Its one of those laws were everyone keeps there two eyes shut.

The problem is no wife has ever sued her husband.

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@Just Good; there is no put attacking the poster; did you read the content of the post; even with a legal marriage; the guy can still bring in a second wife but not marry the second wife legally and if the legal wife does not like she can opt for a divorce. In the UK and USA, there are cases of polygamy disguised in various forms.

@ Poster, for a nigerian man having a second wife is not trendy these days in society, it is been replaced by having extra-marital affairs- hence Aristos & Sugardaddy

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Some people like to come here and denigrate everything Nigerian.

Wherever did you hear that, if you are legally married in Nigeria, you can just decide to become a polygamist? Who informed you that the Nigerian legal system is not against polygamy? If you have spent all your life with undesirables, you should state it rather than come up with sorry tales about Nigeria, which in most cases are restricted to certain religions or those who never got officially married.

abeg make we hear word

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The day a husband takes a new wife, there is nothing the old wife can do about it,

she can only accept or go thats the sad truth.

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There's something she can do. She can leave! Not everyone wants to be part of a circus.

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