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Why Are Nigerian Men Intimidated By The Strong Independent Black Woman?

I t is common knowledge that the Nigerian man likes to be the king and master over his kingdom apart from a small minority. Any woman who dares to make a success of her life own her own house car and business or at the top of the league of her career become untouchable or labelled wrongly as 'high maintainece'.

In most case's these women are often single and happy but often sneered at by others and comments made such as 'look at her still single at 30, ish or look at her 'has every thing but no man'

Why because she is independent has her own voice and successful career or is it because the Nigerian man cannot compete or is afraid of her and dreads to be challenged? or accused of not being a Man?

Is it always going to be "I have my wife at home" but again in most cases is out with the mistress or several woman living the so called single life.

And the wife is at home in 90% of cases knowing what her so called husband is up to but 'puts up and shuts up' as she is married and has a 'husband' who pays the bills and is in control of her and the family and what little input she has mounts to nothing.

It is very hard to find both equal independent couples you will search far and wide as i stated earlier a 'small minority

This is the new millennium lets make the changes.

I'm sure this debate will have both positive and negative views

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117 answers

The more importent question is to what extent did foreign missionaries change the gender dynamic in various societies throughout Arica? When I read history books and primary sources testamonials from first contact accounts women seemed very integrated(more so then other places around the world anyway). They also played pivital roles throughout history. There are also lots of societies that are(were) matrilineal. Most of this "women stay at home" talk sound plainly biblical (I.E recent) and reminds me of a village were missionaries told the people it wasn't "proper" to take the names of thier wives as was custom

This question actually deserves it's own topic.

I'll leave on this message for the ladies...

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i'm neva scared of independent black,white, blue,pink,red whateva women. Infact they turn me on sexually.

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It's not that (Nigerian) men are intimidated by strong independent women its their attitudes that cause the friction. As a woman you may ask "why would i say that?" its pretty obvious. Due the the fact that the majority of the world is westernized our traditions have changed drastically. Some odd 50 years ago on back, a womans job was to be a mother and a good wife. She stayed home, raised the children, cooked meals and set an example to her daughter and represented the type of woman her son would desire. Now, the tides have changed. Back then a man was a man. He took care of his house hold financially, and set the rules as the 'King of the Castle' with his wife by his side.

Then comes the blasted women's movement. . . .

Now the roles have reversed. A so called womens' empowerment movement became more anti-men and pro extreme feminism so now you have men who are constantly attacked, their manhood challenged and their perspectives changed. A man is seen as useless and automatically chauvinistic: the enemy. As women began to climb the economic social ladder, their heads blow up like a helium balloon! Their men are constantly chastised for not making as much as them, the womens' expectations sky rocketed, men had to make a certain amount of money just to even smile at them.

Now?

The household is divided, i seldom hear of children/ young adults of my generation whose parents have not divorced if they were even married. Main reason? the fusion of the roles and financial disagreements.

Women who are independent are to be respected yes, but one cannot change her attitude once she is bringing in a decent salary and then wonder why she is single.

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@ almondjoy,

We appreciate your effort in sharing your experience in here with us. We really sympatise with you and hope all will be well. As for you , going to the healing home as you suggested. I will get in touch with some NGO'S to provide you with some aids that can reduce your plight. once again we appreiate .

if you need help on our to get your aid as soon as possible, post your number and help you desperately needed will be on its way.

But one piece of advice b4 the aid, try not to be a domestic slut cos we will help you out through the appeal fund.

Poor old woman

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really? i wonder y its stil top ten thread and i tot it was discussion thing. well takes a slowpoke to knw one- life must be really hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u've got major issues o!!!!!!!!!!

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This topic is closed so move your slow Bottom somewhere else!!!!

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almondjoy (f)

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Re: Why Are Nigerian Men Intimidated By The Strong Independent Black Woman?

« #51 on: November 03, 2007, 04:26 PM »

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Quote from: omoge on November 03, 2007, 04:20 PM

Sigh!!!

men want a woman like Proverbs 31 right? Good. can we compare those days with today? you want a woman who works to bring in money, care for children, the home, meet your emotional needs whenever you want it etc etc.

Ha! Aha!! Abeg Artificial Insemination please.

Thank God for reproductive science!!!! Thank God for sperm banks. Ladies, just harvest some good "eggs" freeze them for later use and throw out any fool that qualifies out of the house, into the streets where he belongs--homeless!!!!!

By now most females should have had enough sex in this life time to do without the abuse of being with an irresponsible man. Just stick to companionship---pay as you go romance--- and let the dog stay in the doggout where it belongs. Having no man at all is better than having a useless one. Thank God for small mercies--no need to search anymore. A lot of crap out there. I look at some women and just have to remember them in ma prayers. Will never put up with such. All in the mighty name of marriage--a woman will put up with an slowpoke for a husband?

@Topic because most Nigerian men are insecure, lazy, lack proper upbringing, silly, useless and lack a sense of direction. Only about 10% are normal for about 20

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i c y u re from utopia- gal u,ve got serious issues gal!!!!!! wat did ur fada do to u? or was it ur numero boi frends. oga o!!!!!! wetin we no go c from out of the country naija babes!!!! i tire. iam sure @ poster is disgusted by u sef.

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When a Nigerian man decides that a woman is incompatible with him, he is intimidated. If it was a foreign man, would he also be considered as having been intimidated? Una too talk. When talk too much, na yeye go dey comot.

Everyone knows what kind of man/woman he/she wants and decisions are made on that basis. Why should a man marry a woman he knows he cannot live successfully with?

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Yesssssirrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! MR TRADO-MEDICAL!!!! it is my prerogative to do just so for I am not looking for a "husband"-- and even if I were--I know where to look ok--definitely never in your direction ok? Your kind will never cross my horizon for sheer lack of common sense--not to even dig deeper to find what other components you are missing. You would have been history within 6 months maximum, just in time to get the marriage annulled and wiped clean from ma records. So I can jolly well tell you what I think and the heck with you! Not even looking for a "date" to attend any Nairaland juvvy prom. Thank your fading, lucky stars for females like Londoner who are ever ready to gently break things down to your kind like sets of slow children with multiple genetic anomalies--in a special Ed's classroom. I believe in the school of "hard knocks" since that is the only language the typical Nigerian Chauvanistic Pig of a Male understands.

Please try and get married first then come back and tell us who will put up with your local tout of a village Bottom. With your village mentality, you can only go so far. The reason why Caucasian and African American ladies deal with your primitive arses over here--- most of you end up running for your dear lives, back to Nigeria since you cannot fit in with life long emotional scars. Only to fall in to the hands of some pitiful, unsuspecting Nigerian females that do not know any better---stupidly rejoycing that Chris Okotie or some Holy guy has answered their prayers. Only to find out later they inherited some "psychological and Emotional" shits of train wreck not 'fixable"---but severely damaged goods. A never ending reality TV show of "HELL DATE"!!!!

We see all the new brides all the time here like living corpses with no where to get help since they sealed their fate in damnation to "controlling village kolomental spouses". They are often in and out of Police custody for domestic violence with records that can clog up Wikidoodle. I wish people like your kind will come my way. You need a sound education. I do not have go telling you about my personal life since I have long learned several "sweet" lessons from many loving Nairaland members in the past. All I will tell you is to find one of your "local village brides" you guys are so accustomed to over there and let us look for our "city" dudes. I am happy to inform you that I am light years ahead of most of you in this game and I got it right.

Not like most of you in your teens and 20's whose parents failed to teach the art of tolerance, accomodation, teamwork and compromise. Now you want to make up for your genetic mishaps by hinging to some religion or culture that came about when you were not even in existence. Like you are some mule that can be led to the sacrificial block at any time. Mr. Do as I say and not as I Do! Don't you have a brain? Obviously when you tap your head a hollow sound designates that "no one was ever home"!!!!

When most of you practically raised yourselves, running around polygamous compounds sleeping with yourselves and siblings under impoverished abusive conditions--how would you have any ethical or moral compass to know what it entails to be in any healthy "relationship"? Never taught any sense of direction or iota of self-respect, when your parents were too busy diving in and out of other peoples privates to care what you were doing. Now you think you can control everything that comes your way?

Keep nodding in silence like an "Agama lizard" When you get to age 40 and approaching male menopause--I am sure your village elders can parcel you some "degenerate mail order bride" over your way to poison your Bottom for some insurance money in the future! I will glady rejoice at one less--six feet under- the world will be too happy to be rid off.

Keep nodding I say---You Agama Lizard!!!!

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oga o!! Mrs. experience look ow u turned out, ur monogamous, upright parents must be really proud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yes,most men are intimidated by women who are financially independent and successful in their career.

However,the cliched strong,independent Black woman is not the mot juste for the above but rather,an expression that is usually applied to aggressive,malcontent,bone-headed women who have no achievements to speak of in life but whose "strenght" lie in a need to play up to the exaggerated stereotype of a no-nonsense modern chick .

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there really was no debate . . . just 7 endless pages of whining and building of castles in the air. coupled with a few women letting their hormones lose on those who dare say the opposite.

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@ Poster; Is this to say that women are not intimidated by Strong Financially independant Nigerian Men; Would the women in the forum say that they have not come across any of there female friends discarding a guy because is he's ready made. The Nigerian Man; a known fact is not easily intimidated by anybody- ask other african nationals or african american, carribean men. The bottomline in any relationship is the depth of love and mutual respect amongst the couple; if this exist then both partners will work for common good without anybody feeling belittled. I have seen alot of cases where the wife is the breadwinner and the family units still functioning fine, It a bils down to the individuals involved. The more successful a woman is - the higher the bride price

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Almond j girl hi how are you, its frustrating. But I can see you are giving your own strong debates and having a voice

And that is just it every one on this debate is entitled to their own opinions, views and voice and this should be respected.

If you agree or not you have a voice to air your own opinions and i stress 'your'.

However I do find quoting the bible to back up your argument by some individuals ludicrous to misconstrue or misinterpreter the bible to back your argument begs belief please excuse the pun.

then use this to some what give sarcastic or in a couple of cases abusive comments

OUR ancestors lead us to believe that the woman is there to love and obey her husband i have stated before the word obey has been removed all over the world in marriage vows as it is seen as a sexist remark.

However if totally respect those that want to live by these rules im sure they will find if not have a partner to live up to their beliefs and expectations you could say love honer and 'obey'

So as the modern man or woman who choose to live their respected and loving relationships in harmony .

When posting this topic of debate i was aware of the controversial issues that would be posted,

Its an intresting topic lets keep it that way

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we can argue till the namas come home,but you have it all summarized.

There is no structure any where that'll function without a clear cut head.

Someone has to be a leader,that doesn't mean the other key players are idiots.

A good leader can only succeed when he recognizes that the other participants are severally vital and just as important.

But somebody has to wear the pants (as they say)

I worked in a practice some years back where the lead doctors were 2 white guys.

They were the big shots

But it was clear who the "bigger" guy was of the 2 of them.

It was clear who did the hiring,the firing,who signed the checks,authorized renovations,who the staff basically reported to,it was not a secret who basically ran the business end of things,the other though an equal partner,came in and saw patients like all the other little associates and went home,and they are still partners till this date.

Why is it that when we see gay couples,males or females,you don't need a soothsayer to point out who is the "male" and who's the "female".

There can never be 2 captains in a ship,that ship would sink.

Even an aircraft has a captain and a co-captain.

Churches have a Pastor and associate pastors

Countries have presidents and vice presidents

Colleges have a president (Vice Chancelor) and several vice presidents (Deputy V.C)

For a marriage to function effectively,that same order must exist or there'll be katakata.

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Good job everybody.

Can we look at the issue from a purely sociological point of view? The head of household, head of the company, or head of anything is not an opportunity for someone lord it over everyother persons.

It's actually a position of highest responsibilty in the identified group.

Groups do better when they have a 'leader' head of house hold or whatever you call it.

In reality, someone to take responsibility/credits/failures of the group; so the pilot leads the airplane crew, the surgeon leads the operating room, the judge leads the court, the captain the ship, and yes the husband(or the alpha partner-for gays) leads the household.

Even animals have male leaders of the pack who usually give their lives defending and protecting their youngs and females. Imagine where one group of animals(Baboons) with an alpha male leader (silver back) encounters another group where the alpha male shares responsibility with an alpha female.

If the decision to mount an instantenous attack on an invading group depends on consultation with a co-leading alpha female, you would understand that the later group falls into a big disadvantage.

This is just an example, because we are not animals, but since many scientific inferrences have been drawn from animal studies, it makes sense to contemplete this issue from a primate's point of view.

Religious, cultural, and anthropo-sociological factors mandate the man (with his superior and aggressive physical nature) to head the family. The woman, for the same reason nutures and nourishes the family, she is the heart of the family.

The head cannot exist without the heart and vis-visa.

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@ nwando, you hit the nail on the head. No matter how hard the "strong independent" women here try to spin this even unbelievers and atheists males still regard themselves as the head of their homes. It doesnt take bandying the bible around to remind us that God has designed things that way from the begining.

Real men see their women as equals and not subordinates, real women dont need to flaunt their "success, strength and independence" in their man's face either. . .

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people always want to have things on their terms - both men and women

God's instructions give us a clear model of how the home/family unit should be structured and the way man and woman should relate to each other

this may not fit into the humanistic/ women's lib/equality movements that are the fad today (which will be overtaken by something else later)

or with the male dominance/total subversion of other's wills that some people prefer. . .

but it remains the divine order to things, It is the ultimate submission to put aside your own will and follow the Father's, not easy but highly beneficial

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@ britgirl

I never said anyone should be denied their right/opportunity to speak, but in the case of a stalemate what happens? Someone has to take the final decision at some point, you cannot keep going back and forth when there is no agreement.

'If they love each other they will find a happy medium'

You are either highly romantic in your thinking or very naive or both.

There will be cases where the 'happy medium' will be reached, but there will always be instances when someone has to take a decision on behalf of the family as a unit when no consensus is reached - that is why you have CEOs or other business leaders with whom the buck stops after some point.

Like I mentioned, submission (not respect - respect means giving someone else's opinions/actions equal consideration and thats it) is necessary, you need to get to a point where you give up some right of yours to another, freely given by you not coerced. Since submission goes both ways, each partner must do this at some point or the other- that is the reality

I don't regard being the 'head of the household' as a chance to lord it over someone else or enjoy benefits of having my way. It is a serious and weighty trust placed into my hands - responsibility for a household, answering to God on whatever happens within it.

Submission is not easy, neither is it compatible with the fallen man's basic nature - it is something we learn from Christ by learning from his example, and learning true love from the Father.

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na wa o, e be like some of d elder bros' in this hse have been shown pepper by some 'strong independent black women'- we really need to get the definitions right and stop running around in circles cos er'body seems to meet at some point(i mean both naijaking1 and almondjoy like to paddle canoes) ad nwando came and laid down the law for us so it seems things are going fine abeg lets stop using plenty english to opress each other *me am still in school and God knows the last time i did english was 4yrs ago so how do u want me to understand?*

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@ brtigirlee

lol

1. You have no rights to tell us to stay off a topic of debate as this is not your private blog.

2. Where have we insulted women? Pls show us and stop exhibiting your paranoia.

@ bitteralmonds

Where are your statistics to back up your bogus claims that abuse is real "ESPECIALLY" in Nigerian marriages? Is violence in marriage a Nigerian trait? You are very fond of making very silly and over the top statements without proof! I have married relatives and married friends, i have lived with many of them and i havent seen husbands abusive to their wives, perhaps that is endemic to ur family, pls dont generalize. . . some of us were actually born to reasonable families.

Again, got any data to back this up? How many Nigerian men with girlfriends or spouses have you met to come out with this outlandish comment?

Care to give us 5 examples? Enough of basing claims on one or two isolated incidents.

Plainly ridiculous. You seem to lack the capacity for rational reasoning.

I repeat and Nwando has helped me reiterate. . . to marry a Nigerian male is not by force! Pls stick to sperm banks or marry foreign women. I cant see many Nigerian males who are dying to hook up with Nigerian women.

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I think people have a very different interpretation of what an independent and  strong woman is. At the end of the day, every pot has its lid, some men like submissive wives who are dependent on them. Others dont, I hope you guys are not the sames one complaining of women wanting you to pay for their rent, clothes, hair etc. That seems to be the common complaint about Nigerian women on this site, yet some are now saying she should be dependent on you.

I suppose everyone has what they are suited to. For me, I could never be with a man who expects me to hide my personality and talents in order for him to feel secure as a man. I like men who are attracted to what and who I am. I like the idea of companionship, rather than the submissive wife. What both parties should submit to equally is the good of the family unit.

I like men who are independent and strong too, but then thats never a bad thing for a man is it?

@ Nwando, who said anything about being too strong to be a wife, theres no such thing IMO. Do you think being argumentative is strong? No its an inability to control emotions, that a weakness. People who know they have something important to say dont have to shout about it, but they also will be bold enough to share it.

I dont associate  femininity, wifehood or  motherhood with anything weak. Not every man is suited to every woman, but there are many men out there for whom a woman who doesn't have her own ideas, cant speak up, perpetuates this weak woman image is absolutely useless, she isn't suited to their personality. For some men, she will add nothing to ntheir life's journey.

If people think being a life partner is just about pounding fufu, wearing nice wrappers when you go out, saying "yes dear" even against your better judgement and the good of the man you profess to love, then maybe they should learn more about companionship. You should be able to draw from eachother with no hesitation. Well, at least thats the type of relationship that interests me, the other types dont interest me one bit.

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@Omoge

Of course she can paddle the canoe anytime, but she has to know how to do that, not just brag about it.

@Texcee

Your contribution and those of Nwando is a breath of fresh air. Not just because of the common sense approach, but because you've been able to express yourself very well.

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You see why no one can help loving this persona (Babyosis--- Nwando reincarnation). Her power of speech, ease of communication, and ultimate mastery of self expression are invigorative.

@Nwando

Good to have you back- truely

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I have to admit that a lot of us women that make our own money and are able to take care

of ourselves have a hard time seeing a man as the head of the household. It may work

out in the white community, but the same cannot be said of us blacks.

This might explain why some men tend to stray away from such women.

Even the bible says the husband is the leader among equals. God made this so for a reason.

Also, I wouldn't say Nigerian men are intimidated by these women, I think saying the men avoid such women would be

more appropriate.

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@Almondjoy

I don't know why someone compared you to Babyosis, Babeelove, and Militia.

I don't think you're Babyosis- I miss her, or Babeelove- I love her, or even Militia- I love and miss her too, because she usually has more points than you do.

Also these personae have no gender confusion issues depending on the season like you do.

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@Poster

The fallacy of this thread is that it begins with a false premise.

So, no matter which ever way you want us to decipher the original intent of your arguement, it still cannot and should not survive as a fact.

You have been given the opportunity to update or change the title to reflect what you mean, yet you continue to play to the gallery.

The personal attacks, misinterpretations, and diversions characterizing the last few pages of this discussion are direct consequences of your poor self expression and articulation of ideas.

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@almondjoy

Nne, anytime you want to get back to the topic and get off personal attacks, it's alright by me.

Your personal attacks and innuendos really show how 'independent' you're.

Are you strong, focused, and directed---don't think so, but that's open to question.

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SAY NO TO THE CHURCH-GOING,"HIGHLY EDUCATED, FAT, BLACK,  WOMAN!

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Hmmmmmmm!  Thank you for finally investigating the difference between "wisdom and intelligence". Please stop speaking in "village proverbs" and state your point.   Next please!

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My brother, come see me see trouble O! We've been here trying to examine the issues yet noise keeps bursting in from the streets.

I wonder why it is that all of a sudden, it ok for one person to turn this into an assault on life in the village. We have even seen some quite unprecendented abuse of village gals. To call them savages and uncouth is really just a case of a superiority complex. I guess being strong and independent preclude the need for solidarity and due consideration.

Maybe there are issues with some Nigerian men. But why dont we examine the culture a little bit more closely. IT will reveal that the issues have a root and a cause. And you will will also find there are issues with relationships and women too. It is the nature the dance for all to bring their own rhythm.

No matter what some people think, the guys here are still trying to make reasoned points. Even if they are confrontational and controversial. Lets focus on the discussion and keep from trying to scratch eyes out.

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@Almondjoy

If you're not psychotic already, I'll bate this topic surely pushes you in that direction. Bringing your past ugly experiences in this type of debate makes it hard, painful and disorienting for you.

My advice, try to forget your past sad experiences for 1 minute if you can.

How you just go off topic, and continue going, going, going, going in the wrong direction.

Even the poster knows that the title of this thread lends itself to misunderstanding, but you, no. You just keep going, and going!

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almondjoy, male or female? Anyway, how now? What of MaJ?

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Jeez you're annoying. All these talk about "debating intellectually" and "articulation" and you have trouble spelling.

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF YOUR THREAD? You keep accusing people of not understanding your point BUT we can only go on with what you put up as the topic. We cant live in your mind and suddenly understand what you intend to convey.

Funny how the only people who "understand this topic" are those who say what you want to hear.

Sorry if men are intimidated by "strong independent black women", just find men who are not intimidated by YOU and move on. Frankly this charade masquerading as a "debate" is getting boring.

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naija king

you do know what im saying your articulate enough to understand this topic,

people will always pick out words what they believe to understand and tailor to

thier own needs no matter how i would of worded. Its human nature

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Independence and peace co-dependence are mutually exclusive.

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My dear britgirlee, I think I know what you're saying, but for the sake of not second guessing you, it think it's better to say what you mean, and not leave room for us to decipher what you mean.---- unless there is some sort of problem with self expression.

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naijaking

as it is 'niaraland' i headed the topic  with 'nigerian' men it could of read why are'men' diffrent cultures percieve things in diffrent ways

what i wrote i my intial transcript one can dicifer that the woman is a career woman etc

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Remember the example I gave about independent leopards.

Why would a normal man(Nigerian or not) bother about a woman who comes proclaiming her independence only to find out that the reverse is indeed the case?

I understand how this paranoia in certain Nigerian women's age group could be misinterpreted and even misunderstood as independence, but guess what?

Who's fooling who?

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If you try to reverse the title with black men being strong and 'independent' you will understand its absurdity.

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@poster

If you meant: Why Nigerian men are intimidated by strong, successful, and career women; I would have no qualms with that. I'm only responding to your title.

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@Davidylan

If I crack a rib secondary to your posts, I will send you the bill for therapy.

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@almondjoy

Girl, which raw nerve did I touch? Phrenic, obtutator, vagus, accessory, or radial?

You secreted so much epinephrine that I thought you were going to have an MI or pop one of the artries to your brain. Are still hyperventilating? That's what happens when you miss my point, or read my post standing on your head.

Unfortunately, you are unable to debate without going personal. Please update your skills.

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For once i agree with Naijaking1 100%. If women are so independent why dont they just visit sperm banks and spare us these threads that are aimed at nothing but an opportunity to bash Nigerian men?

Its not as if Nigerian men were literarily dying to marry them anyway.

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Didn't it got so interesting while I was away!

@poster

Your title is your title, not mine.

I did not read into it, just took it for face value to show the impossibility or futility of such a debate. Maybe that's how you feel, maybe that's what's in your head, but I don't read minds, and would only stick to the data presented. I tried to show you the problem with your title in earlier post, but you want me to assume that there are no black women that say they are strong and 'independent'

Independent of of what, whom and where?.

Even solitary 'independent' animals like leopards become 'dependent' of the opposite sex just for procreation.

If you think you're so independent, why bother with a Nigerian man?

I have read your previous posts, and I agree that there's nothing wrong in bringing up topics for discussion or debate, especially if they serve a therapeutic purpose in ones life.

On that note, I tell you again, and without mincing words that a feeling of independence in a man or woman is ininmical to long term plans of living together as partners. You can post it or discuss under what ever heading you like, but the facts remain unchanged--- men depend on women, women depend on men.

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time to move on, accept the apology or leave it,

leave the personal views and comments about individuals to one side and move on, its done

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davidylan#

typo error the comment was directed at arnorld 1 an apology to yr self

however to start to get personal is uncalled for, to refresh your memory

Posted by: davidylan

Insert Quote

Quote from: Arnold1 on Today at 08:20:32 PM

Thanks oo my brother.

The thing is, britgirlee would love to marry a Nigerian man, but she wants him to have 100% western values.

Nigerian men want to be the head of their households and would not settle for less.

If you value western values so much, THEN MARRY A WESTERN MAN !!

I really don't know what all the fuss is about.

my brother, me neither. there are more than 1billion women on earth, what is the point being intimidated by a woman who decieves herself into thinking she is "strong and independent" when there

an arrogant and ignorrant response which will cause ill feeling

i did not ask you to start to leave yr views you chose too

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Its unfortunate that you're not really interested in a "debate" no matter how loudly you proclaim so. You seem to shout down every comment that disagrees with your sky pixie dreams.

good luck finding men who put up with such abrassive attitudes.

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Where are the "insults"? Take a chill pill, if you can't stand the heat then leave the kitchen, its that simple.

Again do me a big favour and show me JUST ONE post where i insulted you. you are being ridiculous, i guess your idea of "insulting your person" is that we disagree with your unrealistic point of view.

By the way, for all your famed "intelligence" the word is spelled "decipher" and not "deciever".

your thread is not rocket science, we have seen so many variants of this same issue for the last 1 yr on this forum. All saying the same thing . . . nothing new.

Again more babbling. WHERE did i insult you and show ignorance? Where have i shown "racist attributes"? Have i insulted you over your skin color or told you white girls are better than black girls?

your outburst is uncalled for and frankly much worse than whatever you are screaming about. If you are an example of the "strong, independent black" woman who picks up a quarrel with themselves in a locked room then i'm glad i have nothing to do with people like you.

If you can't take opposing views then i suggest you reserve your threads for your personal blog where you can reject views you don't like.

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davidylyn and arnold1,

firstly how dare you start to insult me on the forum i truly believe naira land is a place that does not tolerate such ignorant and obviously antagonising behavior

yes Ive posted more the 4 debatetable subjects on this site and i stress debatable

it begs belief that your intelligence cannot deceiver the topics but choose to insult and try and insult persons or a person on the site.

Davidlyn you show ignorance and somewhat racist attributes which is not tolerated in any forum let alone here

You show no respect to your self thats why you have no respect for others.

Black white orange purple people are who they are and its the small minded natured people that make this world the way it is.

i ask kindly if you both do not have any logical debates or any other intellectual comments to make it would be appreciated if you post on other forumsand leave this one alone for people with valid and intresting arguments

and stop misconstruing mine

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@ netotse, we are basically saying the same thing in different ways. My mom was at some point the sole breadwinner for the family for a couple of yrs when my dad had some work related problems. If you didnt live in our house you would never have noticed!

My mom is strong, independent and successful at what she does YET she respects her husband and does not sit down bawling about being equal simply because she makes more money than him.

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