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What Should I Do Please?very Urgent

please i need your advice on the step i am about to take,i am an HND holder and i am 25 years old,i regret ever attending a polytechnic because of the way i was treated by my first employee after service.So i decided to obtain direct entry form and chose UNIVERSITY OF ILORIN and BOWEN UNIVERSITY IWO as first and second choice respectively.Bowen has offered me admission and i am also expecting unilorin admission list.My fiancee who is presently serving in sokoto state is a graduate and has been telling me not to go for DE but instead do my PGD.she has stopped calling me and even when i called, she either not pick it or answered it relunctantly,i have tried to explain to her on a number of occassions all to no avail.i guess she wants to leave because of this and i also want to satisfy my heart desire,what should i do?

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18 answers

@all thanks for your replies,i really appreciate it  but i want you to know that this nation worships certificate more than what you can preform as individual,my uncle told me about a situation in his office where a newly employed graduate was made the head of a section initially headed by a performing HND holder{Africa Alliance Insurance company}Also a case in the bank precisely first bank ikorodu branch,where an HND holder trained the new employees  in that branch and after the training,he was made to report to them.All in this country,i don't want to feel bad about myself coz i did not have university education. more response please

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I wil advice u to go 4 PGD 4 one yr and then go 4 ur masters after.i'm a bowenite and i dont think a graduate like u wil like d way they treat us and what if u plan on spendin 3 yrs in unilorin and they turn it to 5yrs 4 u wit dis present university situation in nigeria.listen to ur GF.

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@op

1tin

ur babe wants u 2 be a poor man

why dosent she want u educated

listen i believe shes just lookin 4 another reason

2 blank u,u tryin 2 go 2 the university makes no sense

i mean thats nut enuf reason 4 her nt 2 answer ur call

visit sokoto and see what other corpers are doin 2 ur GF

period!

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it is serious my brother

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hmmm. . . this' a serious case.

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First, I want to sound warning to most of us who are so educated that we tend to display some measures of ignorance. First of there is nothing stopping the two of you from getting married while you are in school. And you should have obtained admission at a city where you and your lady will live. That is if you are brilliant enough to get admission in any university you apply to.

Secondly, she is a woman, I quite understand her concern and they are very real. We know of how men will go off like that and later dumped the poor girl at her prime after waiting for her love till old age. No matter what you think, you cannot say exactly what wil happen in 2-3 years time and words alone cannot tell what you will be.

Thirdly, whoever tell you that you cannot use yourr PGD to get a Masters, if that is your goal. And why cant you continues with your work and go for part-time degree if you are so much concerned about Degree instead of going back to school to spend another four years?

finally, whatever the case is, it is obvious there is no communication between you and the lady. But communication, I mean there was feedback after the announcement.Many people make mistake of equating talking with communicating. There is no way you will sit down your lady and "communicate" without the two of your ariving at a decision. Obviously, what you did was like asking for her permission. In other word, you just tell her what you want to do and she made her own suggestion which is that you go for pgd and you fnd it difficult to convinced her why you need to have the B. Sc.

LEt me tell you, the girl is afraid of losing you and probably want to settle down. The onus lies on you to address her concern or free her so that a better man who is ready can find her. And to say you are going to leave while she must have rejected so many guys in camp is very unfortunate. You are the one who need either assure her or find a compromise if you truly love her and want to keep her.

in your situation, if you ever make the wrong decision after the lad have accepted you, it is the lady that will lose and suffer most. So find a way and talk to her. Listen to her and see what her conceren is. You will find a solution faster if you can do just that.

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Choose one,your heart desire or her.

Lets get things straight here,she could have a point with her reasons and have you stopped to consider that.

Women are created to help our shortcomings our gurdian Angels,there might something she perceived that you are not looking at.

Brother if she is making a lot of sense listen to her and if she is not follow your heart period.In both cases you have not lost anything except her or your personal wish.

Maybe you could share her reasons with us.

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@ayomifull, i have tried to explain to her severally but it seems things is getting worse by day but i am only considering the fact that there is no substitute to a university education presently in nigeria unless that person wants to be inferior as a result of his her academic status(HND)

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Ask her what her reasons are. At this age you should be able to see if her reason is good enough and if its good enough for you, decide from her answer what you want to do. If she is leaving u because of that thank your stars she is doing that on time and move on.

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My advice is that you should go for your Degree. First degree is very essential especially in Nigeria. It happened to me before. After my ND, I took DE to the university while most of my colleagues went back for HND because they want to graduate very early. And again, It depends on your finance? Do you have a regular income that will scale you through?. Your girl agitation was quite understandable. Most girls like to settle down immediately after their NYSC. Whats is your plan for her?. I mean these things could be sorted out and both of you can still arrive at a suitable end. It depends on you. However, having a degree as a footstone is very essential. When I won a scholarship to come to Europe, my fiancee was worried too but I have to explain to her that this thing was for our development. We planned things together and she in Nigeria now alws encourage me to study hard. She prays for me daily. It is very simple. follow up things that will improve your life and carry along people that matters to you. Wished you the best and be trustworthy

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@all thanks for your replies,i really appreciate it  but i want you to know that this nation worships certificate more than what you can preform as individual,my uncle told me about a situation in his office where a newly employed graduate was made the head of a section initially headed by a performing HND holder{Africa Alliance Insurance company}Also a case in the bank precisely first bank ikorodu branch,where an HND holder trained the new employees  in that branch and after the training,he was made to report to them.All in this country,i don't want to feel bad about myself coz i did not have university education. more response please

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guy,dats simply inferiority complex,its a logic rite,if u go 4 d.e,u will spend roughli 3years plus service year,but am not so sure if bowen normali go 4 service,why dont u jst go 4 ur post graduate and den masters strate.with master,u re hot cake, den 4 ur gurl frend,try to xplain tins to her and if she doesnt correspond,my guy 4get her,she doesnt love u 4 who u re, best of luck

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Hey can't u read d handwritin on d wall.Ur fiancee is insecured. She doesnt want a situation whereby u will say i need space. Considerin d way our university girls dress and their attitude.Whereby u will cancel d marriage,but guy u ve 2 be a man and put ur foot down,this is ur future men,there are many fishes in d river.

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It not a matter of inferiority but what you know and can contribute wherever you may be found.My brother B.sc good but the fact is with the masters in your kitty nothing like inferiority.

You get masters for biochem,I get masters for Biochem.It is the same thing it now depends on our individual experience and knowledge inherent in us.

I am only looking at the end (Masters thru PGD) and not what you have now.

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why not go do your PGD,then your masters,better that way.I will belief having your masters wil stil help masters.anyway just my thought.

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@infogeniuos i am considering the relevance of first degree,i have also looked at the period for both DE and PGD but my guy with the situation of things in nigeria now, there is no substitute to a university education unless you want to feel inferior under your university counterpart

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Quite unfortunate tale,anyway I quite agree with her,move forward use your nd to leapfrog.Get ahead and do your PGD,from there you can get your master degree.

Consider the time you would use to attain your master degree if you enrlled for PGD and the time if you took DE.

My friend ND is also a degree use it to move forward.

Don't ONLY pray for admission get ahead and get it.It easier than you think with your ND.

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Try and let her know. u ar a man and u shuld av the best for ur self . i am almost in the same position with u, after my ND abt 2yrs ago i was nt admited for direct entry an my parent insist i shuld go back for HND which i disagree. now am on my own praying for admisin.

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