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Are You Ready To Have Kids?

Do u think u are ready to have kids? Take this test

- Mess Test

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

- Toy Test

Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (you may substitute roofing tacks if you wish). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold and take off shoes. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

- Grocery Store Test

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

- Dressing Test

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

- Feeding Test

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

- Night Test

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00pm, begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

- Ingenuity Test

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

- Automobile Test

Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the CD player. Take a family-size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a rake along both side of the car. There, perfect!

- Physical Test (Women)

Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Then remove the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won’t be wearing them for a while.

- Physical Test (Men)

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

- Final Assignment

Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, and toilet training and child’s table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

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13 answers

@ tufe and infobaba, the joke is still funny to those that havent heard it before

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the person no justget sense

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umm, i am a him, not her. lol

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BEFORE U TEST IF U ARE READY TO HAVE KIDS TAKE THIS TEXT TO SEE IF UR READY TO GET MARRIED!!!!

do something really crazy like banging ur fiances relation and try telling it to him b4 the relation fcuks u up.

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u are ready or not

start rehearsing!!!!

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i don't need no quiz or whatever to tell me that i am ready for kids. i'll use my own mind to determine that. and right now my mind tells me that i am not.

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I am not ready to have kids. And i'm not having none until i'm ready for them. Cause i want my children to be happy and i want to have the money and stuff to take care of them. Right now i'm still in skool what good is having kids gonna do me now?

I want my kids to be rockin all the clothes in fashion from Baby Phat,to Gucci from Gucci to Apple bottums from apple bottums to Tommy Hilfiger from hilfiger to Sean John and lots more. I want a happy life so imma do things when they need to be done.

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funny but too negative and discouraging! can we have the reward list?

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I'm definitely not ready

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oh well, if we say we will all follow that, we won't have kids at all. we all know that kids are trouble and so cute that even if they do something bad u can't punish them like how u really wanted to. we've all been there than that so what more can we say. but i like what u wrote really funny.

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Lol!This one's my favourite!Real funny stuff!

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wow, nice.the test plenty ooo.

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try pouring dettol into your can of groundnut oil!

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