I just could not resist sharing this. Can u imagine
God on voicemail ke?
Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary
part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided
to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For French press 2
For all other languages, press 3
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners
right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in
the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then
enter his social security # followed by the * sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers,
3 - 16.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other
planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics. Our
computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and
call again tomorrow.
This office is now closed for the weekend to observe religious holiday.
If you are calling after working hours and need emergency assistance,
please contact your local pastor.
And if Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you
please get that for me?"
Thank you and have a heavenly day.