In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (but that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (and you thought
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't that save me more time)?
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and I'm taking this because
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to... what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Husqvarana chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh, my God ...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)