«Home

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

why did the chicken cross the road?

Avatar
Newbie
61 answers

This is sooo freaking funny!!!!!!!!!

Okotie's answer and KFC answer made me giggle. I like em all.

MAn! my ribs are F**king cracked. Big ups my guy

0
Avatar
Newbie

trust okotie with plenty grammer, my guy vizion they are funny and i like dem all.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Please be very careful, We should try to aviod religious sensitive jokes. Its still fresh in our minds the havoc which sprung up from the denmark cartoons. Seun please take note.

(¯`*•.¸(¯`*•.¸,¸¸,

(¯`*•.¸(¯`*•.¸,¸¸,

0
Avatar
Newbie

(¯`*•.¸(¯`*•.¸,¸¸,ø¤º°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°º¤ø, ¸¸,¸.•*´¯)¸.•*´¯)

Prophet Muhammad,

The blessed but desperate chicken crossed the road to die with the believe

there is no God, but Allah, (my teachings) so as to be allowed to enter the

Muslim paradise and to be joined with 80 virgin chickens.

(¯`*•.¸(¯`*•.¸,¸¸,ø¤º°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°º¤ø, ¸¸,¸.•*´¯)¸.•*´¯)

(¯`*•.¸(¯`*•.¸,¸¸,ø¤º°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°º¤ø, ¸¸,¸.•*´¯)¸.•*´¯)

Prophète Muhammad

Le poulet était tellement désespéré qu'il a traversé la route pour mourir avec la

croyance qu’il n’y aucun dieu, mais Allah (mon enseignement) et ainsi pouvoir

entrer le paradis Musulman puis ainsi se retrouver entouré de 80 poulets vierges.

(¯`*•.¸(¯`*•.¸,¸¸,ø¤º°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°º¤ø, ¸¸,¸.•*´¯)¸.•*´¯)

0
Avatar
Newbie

Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good of man.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

OSAMA BIN LADEN: That chicken knew nothing of its mission (ha ha ha) only that it would be a martyr.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and uccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

BILL CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!

0
Avatar
Newbie

This is sooo freaking funny!!!!!!!!!

Okotie's answer and KFC answer made me giggle. I like em all.

0
Avatar
Newbie

niposts answer: to help pick up a mail that was dropped 2wks ago

a nigerian vets answer: it couldnt find d cure for bird flu and decided to kick the bucket!

a nig, students answer : it was tired of waiting in the queue for admission:

NIgerias answer : to see the coffin of stella

chickens answer CLUCK CLUCK!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

You need to loosen up first!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ajisafe. nothing wrong with me dear, i just want you to loosen up.try have some fun PAL!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Efik_Ibo

The part about Wenger was kind'a funny. What do you reckon will be Jose Mourinho's response though?

I reckon it's going to have something to do with telescopes,Voyeurism and Arsene Wenger.

0
Avatar
Newbie

As Scorpio will say, Keep my name outta your mouth!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@alheri, will you please get off my back! What's the matter with you?

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ajisafe. its all a joke!!! Y not try and see the funny side instead of been judgemental.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Gani's answer made more sense and dealt with the plight of the nation; Okotie's answer is foggy, wordy, and absolutely nonsense!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Snoop Dogg 's Answer:

This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know

what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.

Isaac Newton 's Answer:

The duck suggested to the chicken that they play follow the leader then the duck crossed the road causing the chicken to cross after it, but at the same time holding up traffic, thus proving that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .

Shakespeare 's Answer:

To cross or not to cross, that is the question.

Rene Descartes 's Answer:

Since the chicken does not really exist it was only an illusion that the chicken crossed the road. This illusion was only in my mind. Therefore I created the chicken that crossed the road.

Ken Lay's Answer:

I was not aware of the chicken's crossing the road or of any accounting tricks used by Enron to disguise the chicken's true position.

John Kerry's Answer:

I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe that the chicken should not get to the other side..

Pete Rose 's Answer:

I don't know, but I swear I didn't bet on it.

Gandhi 's Answer:

All chickens should peacefully resist by crossing the road.

Colin Powell 's Answer:

This is not about whether inspectors made sure the chicken crossed the road, it's about the willingness of the chicken to cross the road voluntarily.

Darwin's Answer:

It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Another Answer:

Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected

in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

(former) Iraq Information Minister:

There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken.

Moses's Answer:

And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

David Hume's Answer:

Out of custom and habit.

Henry David Thoreau's Answer:

To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

Hippocrates's Answer:

Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Howard Cosell's Answer:

It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly

relegated to homosapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

Jack Nicholson's Answer:

'Cause it (censored) wanted to.

That's the (censored) reason.

Johnny Cochran 's Answer:

Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.

Machiavelli's Answer:

The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The

end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Another Answer:

So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which

has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear,

for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained

Arthur Andersen Consultant's Answer:

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its

dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant

challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering

relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its

physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impact environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a

consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the

chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards

the creation of a total business integration solution. (Andersen

Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Neil Armstrong's Answer:

To go where no chicken has gone before.

Another Answer:

That's one small step for Chicken, one giant leap for Chicken kind.

Thomas de Torquemada's Answer:

Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Al Gore's Answer:

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Another Answer:

I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them

Jerry Seinfield's Answer:

Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Pat Buchanan's Answer:

To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Rush Limbaugh's Answer:

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

Saddam Hussein's Answer:

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in

dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

0
Avatar
Newbie

just adding me own bit

AGENT MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this questions denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS (founder of KFC) : I missed one?

OPRAH

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it felt accomplishing its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

JERRY SPRINGER

The question is did the chicken cross the road before

sleeping with his bestfriend's mother or after. Stay tuned

because in moment we will invite the chicken's gay lover

who is also sleeping with chicken's father and brother to

tell us of their rendevous of the other of the road.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens, crossing all the roads. You may

say I'm a dreamer - but its not the only hen.

MICHAEL JACKSON

There's nothing more wonderful than sharing your bed with a chicken.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was an historic inevitability.

ARSENE WENGER

What chicken? I did not see it.

ALEX FERGUSON

The chicken was not drawn to the other side fairly, and

Beckham is not bigger than this club.

SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken

crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

0
Avatar
Newbie

the chris okotie's part got me laughing so hard i actually cried. kudos man.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Lovely joke, vizion. Scorpio, what did you learn?

0
Avatar
Newbie

That Okotie's and Gani's speeches really portrayed them.

Good job.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I love the chrisokotie part lol

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ Freezy, you're even dumber than I thought. You can't even spell your adversary's name right. I would ave thought you had a version of my name in your head but when you misspelled it on two occasions, I concluded you must be of senile disposition. Jabs from you will probably never run true, they'll be so off target, somewhat like your words.

Now clemcykul (rhymes with clumsy fool) common, who drinks people's coffee, that's so lame! Horrible sense of humour. So no yabis for you cos you've already done yourself in.

I must give freezy points for putting up the white flag, cuz afterall y'all got me off by picking on Jiddah, not like she can't take care of herself, but I guess I was looking for people to pick on myself. Show me the white flag (I'm not averse to it) or have me continue to spit venom, I quite enjoy the release.

0
Avatar
Newbie

and hence, he was named vecussi. . . an Italian brand in enamelware and toilet porcelain!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Ok i raise the white flag. Dint intend calling y'all fools, vecussi made me do that. I take it back, Jiddah.

0
Avatar
Newbie

vescussi,

so u know this originated from a fool in the first place. . . neways, i think its time nairaland started conducting apt tests before allowing pips on the forum. If u still find humor in "chicken crossing the road jokes" at this age & time, this forum is probably not for you. Talking about taking jabs, i'm sure you wouldn't want to me to take swipes at u, a55ole. . . i am sure you don't.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Whoah! we got ourselves a boxer in the house! clap clap clap

0
Avatar
Newbie

First, I thought only fools argue with fools? What does that make you guys? You probably don't have enough RAM to process that. Must you post here if you don't get the humour in this? Silly dummies, probably never threw a blow before, then come here to run their traps!

Nwayz, the chicken could have crossed the road to defecate in freezy and clemcykul's coffee while they're on a date! Fagilolas!

0
Avatar
Newbie

No, you dont get it. . . your post is dense, b*tt head!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Because the referee called for a foul sh*t head!

0
Avatar
Newbie

to milk cow his sister

0
Avatar
Newbie

to see what is like being hit by a porshe

0
Avatar
Newbie

or how about this; to get away from his sister, Cow! As in Cow and chicken?

0
Avatar
Newbie

To get to the other side only for it to be asked the same question

0
Avatar
Newbie

Tastee Fried Chicken:

You mean we missed one??

0
Avatar
Newbie

@poster u missed some lines, check d jokes web page again.

0
Avatar
Newbie

tkb417:

why should i care why the chicken cross the road; mine is just to catch the chicken, kill, roast , eat and wash it down with a bottle of moet.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Go and talk to your wife now. Dont relate this stuff with me ohh

0
Avatar
Newbie

i ddnt mention myself! i said african men!! if u want compare your boyfriends koboko with anyother asian guy and see 4 ursef

0
Avatar
Newbie

black girls have more booty and bosoms and black boys have longer kobokos and more stamina

0
Avatar
Newbie

Eh Eh Eh. . . Says who Black Indecency is betta than white? In what sense now?

0
Avatar
Newbie

u were lying! everybody prefers black Indecency to white Indecency!i dont watch Indecency but i know

0
Avatar
Newbie

why you laughing at me ohhh. . .

0
Avatar
Newbie

how did you find that out?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Ok Ok Ok. . . I mean like you mention people have sex on the table and all, I know that. Thats what am trying to say.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.