«Home

Best Way to Punish Kids?

Whats the best way to punish kids? All of you who are parents and those or you who are sons and daughters, which methods of punishment work best?

Grounding? Smacking? Deprivation of PlayStation?

Avatar
Newbie
107 answers

The essence of punishment is correction, parents need to understand thier kids for them to purnish them. Use the medium that will make a child feel sorry about what he did. Is not every child that should be flogged, it could just make them violent if such a child is already stubborn. Talk sense to him make him know he is important and correct on the fact that you want him to be a better person and not hate. And pray and teach them the word of God.

0
Avatar
Newbie

whenever u punish ur child make sure he/she knows the reason why.don't make ur child get scared of u.but make sure each punishment matches the offense committed and also suitable 2 the child's temperament i hope u got one or two things 4rm this

0
Avatar
Newbie

whenever u punish ur child make sure he/she knows the reason why.don't make ur child get scared of u.but make sure each punishment matches the offense committed and also suitable 2 the child's temperament i hope u got one or two things 4rm this

0
Avatar
Newbie

i tink i will go 4 spankin if its a serious offence,am glad my parents spanked me cos i love d way i turndout

0
Avatar
Newbie

I surely dont av kids yet but av watched my aunts raise kids up to teen age n outta high skul. A lot of us were not raised wit d belief dat we culd av a change of heart but ratha like condemned criminals.

0
Avatar
Newbie

u do not have kids do you??

0
Avatar
Newbie

Most parents av discoverd d errors dey made nd are simply tryin 2 live dier lives thru d kids. I think d best 2 train children is 2 let dem dat dey ar luvd n apreciated. If ds notion is adequately communicated 2 dem,punishment wil b undastood n not r despised. Howeva,corection shuld b done in luv n only afta d ofenda has been made 2 digest d enormity n side effect of his/her offence.

0
Avatar
Newbie

My older kid is 3 plus and well, he is quite an active fellow, (just like his mom), most time i tell him to face the wall for a while, (works on me growing up but i do take out time to talk to him,

raising kids could be tasking sometimes,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Well they will grow . They may win the battle but we will win the war.

0
Avatar
Newbie

she sound like my 8 yr old stubborn little %*@# that boy makes my blood pressure go up.

0
Avatar
Newbie

But my little one 10 she is the one i fear.

With 7 the teacher complained , when ever she adressed the class , "Class do this or that" my daughter will not do as she was told till the teacher said Mel you too.On asking her she said her name was not class but Mel .Till today she will only Write a good result depending on her mood. If i tell her to stay at home she will go out and tell me i did not say sa from when.

If i ask her ,"Give me a date when you are going to do what ever" she says may 18(eg) but when the time comes job not done she will say , she did not say what year.

Sometimes i make her put what ever down in writing and we sign . so she cannot twist the story later.

0
Avatar
Newbie

now that is good parenting skills mamaput. and yes it work.

0
Avatar
Newbie

My kids know that i can be as mad as them if not madder . I have thrown their Pants Nigerian pant out of the window. and if i tell them i will come to their school with pant on my head bright red lipstick to give them a big fat kiss and tell them they forgot their Egg or pickled cucumber or an onion , They will believe me that i can do it

0
Avatar
Newbie

the best way is to scold dem(not shout @ dem) and wher thy dnt listen, ground dem

0
Avatar
Newbie

u know what, i totally feel u and different children have different personalities and well, its really the environment that a child grows up in, that determines the kind of child, he/she is gonna be. so dont start correctin the child wit spankin or beatin, there r oda ways, it ticks me off when someone finks violence is the answer. violence has neva worked and it would neva work.

correct a child by deprivin him or her of sumfin they really love, it doesnt have to be p.s or watér, if u r smart u'll fink of sumfin

0
Avatar
Newbie

Wow -- you do have some kids. Parenting really is tough.

0
Avatar
Newbie

They will only be too happy to PLAY with fire and water.Thats what they will call it .

And its me that will clean the mess

0
Avatar
Newbie

that will be punishing my self not my kids.They will be only too happy

0
Avatar
Newbie

One thing I think would strike any child is restricting access to "modern" equipment. For example, instead of cooking with gas, let them use firewood. If they want to wash, deny them access to the washing machine and let them hand-wash.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@kellorah

that doesnt apply to my brother at all. he is so stubborn.

0
Avatar
Newbie

That's one thing that definitely won't bug me -- I hate television. Restricting access to a computer is what'll strike me.

0
Avatar
Newbie

dont let them watch tv for 1 week

0
Avatar
Newbie

Nwoke,

Some children need a good slapping to get them in line. I do not believe in hitting your kids to the extent where you do bodily harm but a good slap is sometimes what they need. All this rubbish that 'child experts' talk about sitting them on an imaginary naughty step, O please!! the child needs a whooping!!! Then they will know not to hit mummy or embarrass mummy while shopping. If you explain to the child why mummy just smacked them, they will know not to do it again.

Besides, even the Bible says:

Proverbs 23:13

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I don't punish my kids i keep telling them they are grounded but i don't mean it.

If they do wrong I they know they did wrong.

I let them know i know and i let them know why I don't want them doing it (what ever).

Thats it-

If my big girl gos to a club. I do not just tell her don't go because i said so.

I have to tell her why i don't want her to go.

And if she still goes She will also explain why she still went. And how she got home.

And as she is telling her story i will ask questions that make her look silly.

Eg How did you get there , how did you come home what if some one had Molested you at the junction.

How old was the driver how many drinks did he have.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i don't like it when small children are tortured for what they don't understand. Several mornings i'm woken up with the noise of a child crying "mummy please, muimmy please" and "twap, twap twap". If beating works so well how come you have to beat them so often.

Beating a child is a short-cut approach that won't work when the child is old enough to beat you up (15 years for a boy, never for a girl unless she's really large). It's better to give the child a compelling reason to be respectful and obedient. Force is something for policemen and soldiers, not parents, to use.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Not everyone responds to punishment the same way. Sometimes just a word is enough to get the child thinking. Punishing too often however, makes the child get used to it.

If you don't explain to the child why he/she's being punished he/she might assume you hate him/her -- and you know where it goes from there.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Parents!! heres a little tip for you:

When i was a child i found that when my mum deprived me of something i really liked doing (going out, computer, tv) this really annoyed me and made me think twice about being naughty. This even worked at the start of my teens but being 15 now i have grown out of bad behaviour, at least i like to think! (I'm sure my mum will dissagree!)

0
Avatar
Newbie

you are not punishing poor kids, you are punishing bad kids.

One aspect of engineering which appears in almost every other field is Controls. Control theory dictates how most things work from robots to the economy.

All stable controllers utilize negative feedback.

Spanking a child is negative feedback. It is a correction which causes them to modify their behavior towards what you want. Essentially, it is a means of controlling your child.

0
Avatar
Newbie

There are so many things wrong with that statement.

1) What makes you say beating is more common among blacks in the US?

2) More common among blacks in the US that who where?

3) How do you know their adults are not better off for it?

4) Who compiles statistics on the turnout of children who were spanked?

5) What are you trying to imply about blacks in the US?

0
Avatar
Newbie

I just have a few questions and need some answers. I am a young mother of two, my daughter is six and my son is two. I work nights, I am on the go from the time I get up til the time I go to bed monday through friday. I feel that I dont spend ample time with my kids. that hurts. So my question is how in are busy lives do we learn how to pull everything together. Also I've read everything that you said as far as discipline and I agree that you should not yell or flogg. those are very incorrect methods, but we all tend to do it, it does happen.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I don't believe that a kid can control my life just because I don't beat him. I believe that a child that is beaten will grow up to be a beater. I would only beat a child if I find him beating a younger one. Ultimately, beating is a short term measure used to control kids when the parent has no time the genuine method of reasoning with the child and making him understand why he needs to behave. Beating makes a child to believe that the only way to discipline her own children is by beating. Beating makes a man grow up to think it's ok to hit his wife when she "misbehaves". Beating is more common among blacks in the US, and their adults are not better off for it.

0
Avatar
Newbie

well it depends on the offence really i have a set of twins(boys) aged 8.and i noticed one responds to spanking while the other is more responsive towards words.

BUT i make it clear that because we live in a developed country doesnt mean i wont WHACK THEIR BOTTOMS WHEN NECESSARY.once both of them actually REPORTED me to their teachers in school.and guess what?i had effing social services,SHADOWING me to make sure i wasnt ABUSING my two brats.when i learnt what they had done..I WHACKED THEM SOME MORE and i taught them that because mummy feels the need to spank doesnt mean i hate them.

its important from a mothers view to let them understand why they are been punished.

but one language they BOTH UNDERSTAND is getting their computer games etc seized AND if we out in public,and they wanna act up,i just give them ONE HARD GLARE and they quit messing around. but all in all,kids will always be kids,but at the same time its essential to let them know who is boss.im not letting some 8 year olds control my life.

0
Avatar
Newbie

seun 4 ur information there r certain children who only understand the word of the cain and i say this 4rm experience cuz i was 1 of such children.my mother could talk 4rm now till kingdomcome but onlyl when i new there was threat of being beaten did i do what was expected of me.i'm not sayin she beat 4 every wrong thing i did but there r certain times u just have to imploy the use of a cain.N.B the Bible can never b wrong.so don't say things that might get u in trouble with baba God

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ seun thanks. I have some knowledge in child raising issues.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Gracious, are you formally trained in this matter of child training? I'm loving your posts, and learning. Thanks!

0
Avatar
Newbie

To punish a kid depends on so many things. If a child is well trained and disciplined, the parents do not need punishment all they need to do is praise and reward the child's good actions-reinforcement and when the child does something you do not like, you withdraw the praise and reward:- negative reinforce and make the child understand how you feel. For Example: if the child is playing a ball in the house and mistakingly breaks a lamp or bulb, you tell the child you are upset because he(child) has just spoilt something you really liked. Give the child an example like what if i spoil your teddy bear, or take away your favorite toy how will you feel?? that way, a well trained child is going to feel really bad and apologize because he understands that what he(child) did was wrong. but when you just yell and punish or spank, the child becomes more cunning, the child can break the lamp and even deny he didn;t, and he may not understand the way you really feel about his(child) actions.

0
Avatar
Newbie

seun plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

0
Avatar
Newbie

heh. . i guess we went a little off topic. . .

i think my post came across a little too polarized - or maybe I didn't do a good job of explaining some of my views because I actually agree with most of your reply.

BTW, I just got this book: The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman. I think its a great read at least for Americans who think they can get away with being insular or anyone who thinks they can do that in their own country. Its also a great read for anyone who has or wants to be part of major change in the near future. While it may be geared towards American readers, it provides a lot of insight which anyone with ambition, smarts, and opportunity can take good advantage of.

0
Avatar
Newbie

One , two or three blows on the butt, that's it. Insist in obedience.

Apologize to your child and ask him or her to forgive you when you shouted.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Manufacturing Consent as a more in depth analysis of the media in the US. Think about things such as embedded journalism, un-american behaviour, freedom fries and the overall position of Fox news.

'seperate but equal' [/i]attitude. If you see the level of integration of the different communities in the UK in less than 50 years (even though they are following the same cummunalistic approach to multiculturalism), then I wonder why the US is barely ahead of the UK in that regard. Another difference I see is that integration is accomplished both on a interpersonal and on a professional level in the UK.

And I wonder how accepting the US actually is of Arab muslim culture. Crusades against terrorism and all incalculated.

France is - as always - [i]un cas apart. They chose for a system of total assimilation and they have accomplished assimilation this for their internal minority cultures. You just had riots, but these were mainly caused because the right wing government chose to reduce their integration efforts for the immigrants, which had to lead to this explosive situation in the short or the long run.

What Europe needs badly is affirmative action in the labour market. This is the only place where the development of the immigrant underclass can be reversed. I have full confidence that on an interpersonal level there won't be any problems

For most other European countries immigration is a very recent phenomenon and it's too early to draw any meaningful conclusions.

In general the accomplishments of the US post WW2 are these of an imperial juggernaut, very much like Britain before WW2. When you have access to all resources under your control, when you control the largest and most powerful military in the world, when the international institutions are all set up to suit your ambitions (UN security council, IMF, World Bank) , when you hold the reserve currency and have an internal market that is large enough to allow you to dump your produce on the world market (e.g. cultural products) after they are break even in your internal market..... what then can you expect?

I can tell you a few stories about the application of American diversity within Europe, but I'll hold that for later.

There are nations (China and India to be precise) that have much more stomach for that than the US has. If the US chooses to put ideology before pragmatism, there will be a lot of people that are going to be hurt.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ nferyn,

I do understand your point and I think it's true that the things listed are not specific to the European culture, yet it is commonly found among that culture. There are many people of the European culture who use different methods than what was listed and they are exceptional.

Now If I were to be speculating about the things that I listed within my current post then that would be wrong of me. But what I listed is not speculation, it's merely factual that can be researched.

The tern Eurocentris was used do to the fact that Caucasian people are originally descendants of Europe, Spain, and other countries close by.

It's very parallel to Black or Brown people who are all originally from Africa Known as the mother land of civilization, the place where the first human lived. Despite the fact that African's all over the world have many uniques ways of practicing our beliefs we are all still African's and our unique expressions of our culture is known as being Afro centric especially here in America. The term Afrocentric gives reference to our essence as African's.

I learned a great deal of what I said by my experience living under the influence of the Dominate culture here in America, from study of cultural practices and from my current professors who are of European descent. I take it that these Caucasian professors are well aware of their history and cultural practices.

At the end of the day as many of us have said, it's very important for us to find healthy methods and strategies for discipling our children.

Sorry Seun,

I'm back to the point.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Wouldnt that still be called "phsycho wateve abuse " in your America?

I mean when they are all growed up,wont they still say my parents abused me verbally?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Pour hot water on their head. j/k

The best way to punish them is... ermm, talk to em. Words really pain more than beatings of anything! Beat them with words.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Oops

Correction in the last paragraph

In America children say to their parents "you can't hit me or I'll call the police"

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.