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Can Children Be Mentored By Absentee Dads?

In this era of career taking precedence over family and with dads often away from home, would it still be possible for children to be impacted by their dads?

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End of the day it is LOVE that matters.

We have fathers that are around and molest their daughters.

We have cases of 'no father' and the kid became President of America!

There is no one-size fit all.

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Now hear this:

Ann Coutler is American renowned Author. In her book Guilty: Liberals Victims and their Assault on America", l quote:

""Here is the lottery ticket that single mothers are handing their innocent children by choosing to raise them without fathers: Controlling for socioeconomic status, race, and place of residence, the strongest predictor of whether a person will end up in prison is that he was raised by a single parent.

By 1996, 70 percent of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long-term sentences were raised by single mothers. Seventy-two percent of juvenile murderers and 60 percent of rapists come from single-mother homes.

70% of teenage births, dropouts, suicides, runaways, juvenile delinquents, and child murderers involve children raised by single mothers. Girls raised without fathers are more sexually promiscuous and more likely to end up divorced.

A 1990 study by the Progressive Policy Institute showed that after controlling for single motherhood, the difference between black and white crime rates disappeared.

Various studies have come up with slightly different numbers, but all the figures are grim. According to the Index of Leading Cultural Indicators, children from single-parent families account for 63 percent of all youth suicides, 70 percent of all teenage pregnancies, 71 percent of all adolescent chemical/substance abuse, 80 percent of all prison inmates, and 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children.

A study cited in the Village Voice produced similar numbers.

It found that children brought up in single-mother homes 'are five times more likely to commit suicide, nine times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 14 times more likely to commit despoil (for the boys), 20 times more likely to end up in prison, and 32 times more likely to run away from home.'

Single motherhood is like a farm team for future criminals and social outcasts.

, Many of these studies, for example, are from the 1990s, when the percentage of teenagers raised by single parents was lower than it is today. In 1990, 28 percent of children under eighteen were being raised in one-parent homes (mother or father), and 71 percent were being raised in two-parent homes. By 2005, more than one-third of all babies born in the United States were illegitimate. That's a lot of social problems coming.

Imagine an America with 70 percent fewer juvenile delinquents, 70 percent fewer teenage births, 63 to 70 percent fewer teenage suicides, and 70 percent to 90 percent fewer runaways and you will appreciate what the sainted single mothers have accomplished." -- P.37-38

You will note that we do not read about adopted children filling up the prisons, welfare rolls, and runaway shelters. Adopted children are no worse off -- and, indeed, are generally better off -- than non-adopted children." -- P.43

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how responsible a person turns out to be isn't about which parent is present or absent. like VPersie said, it's what is done in the presence or absence. some people think that single parents wouldn't have time to make and enforce rules, but that's not true. besides, there are kids from 2-parent families who are experts in getting around their parents' rules. and there are kids from single-parent homes who are very disciplined.

i don't know how you know muttalab's parents were absent during his childhood. if you say that because of the nature of his father's job, think of all the workers (especially bankers) in lagos who are never really at home on weekdays. many of them have raised successful children. muttalab was an adult when he chose to go into terrorism, he did it because of strong religious conviction and not his father's absence during his childhood. there are really successful people who grew up without any paternal influence e.g. Dr. Ben Carson.

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Well farouk muttalab just knocked this argument out of the park. We saw the result of absentee parents in his life, which has affected not only himself but Nigeria as a nation.

The reason why Nigerians are usually well rounded people is because of the strong foundation of family/home in our culture.

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@Moderator (Tgirl4real)

Twice l have penned and posted my opinion (yesterday and just now) on this topic, and in each case, l see it there briefly and then it gets yanked off!

Without being presumptuous, IS THIS DELIBERATE ON YOUR PART OR IS SOMETHING GOING ON THAT DOES NOT WANT A CONTRARY OPINION POSTED ON THE ISSUE?

(Yes, am shouting!)

I will appreciate your immediate comments and a restore of my post.

Thank you,

Lastpage.

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Children can't be mentored when their father is absent

Fathers need to be there for their children.

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You know, sometimes you experience something through someone's eyes. 

Yes i respect Mother and Father living together.  But that does not mean i'm blind to all 'cept that.  

You understand.  Sometimes, some people don't even catch on at such an early stage.  It's in their 30s to 40s that they start to make some connection.

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On my own side, it is best for good dad to have time for his children maybe by going out in the morning and return back home in the evening and spend the weekend together with them so as to study them, relate with them, help them with their home work,, to bring the best out of them and not just live them alone on their own.

I said all that with experiences

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When I was young, there were so many times I wished my parents will not come home. As early as 7 years old, I was asking to leave the house like the prodigal son. I did not naturally love to be around them. It is not presence or absence, my people. It is what is done during the presence or absence.

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It depends on what you mean by 'absentee Dads', but if its a father thats not always around, then its impossible, or how can u mentor someone thats hardly sees you?

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circumstances are different . There is no cookie cutter family . Everyone that is determined to make it work will regardless of distance. In todays global economy a great percent of Dad's will have to live away from there family for some period of time .

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I have a friend who's dad was away most of the time cos he was a doctor and went to work all over the world. Growing up, his dad wasn't his mentor, his eldest brother and other family members assumed that responsibility. Can't really say how he's turned out, but he seems okay from the outside, although he admits he may have been scarred psychologically.

I guess it's possible for an absentee dad to be a mentor, but it's really difficult and very rare.

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@Poster,

A father who is temporarily absent from home for work purpose cannot be classified as an absentee dad. Do you expect a responsible dad to be present at home all the time?

A responsible dad can mentor his children from anywhere depending on the arrangement he has made for his family.

Work patterns differ from one dad to another in the present age. A dad who stays at home all the time could be classified as a loafer, unless he is working from home.

A hardworking and responsible dad will pass on the traits to his children, whether he is at home or not.

Physical presence at home does not make a dad a good mentor.

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THE PRESENCE OF A RESPONSIBLE FATHER IS VERY IMPORTANT

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I'm referring to the first type; should we even consider the last 2 types as dads?

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This question is not clear because an absentee Dad can take different forms in the modern day:

1. Temporarily absentee Dad who is out to fetch food for the home, cares for his family and pay the bills.

2. A permanently absentee Dad as a result of divorce but provide care for his children through legally agreed arrangement.

3. A permanently absentee Dad who has ran away.

4. A permanently absentee Dad who only donated sperm to facilitate pregnancy.

Etc, Etc.

Please be specific about the absentee Dad.

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I cannot more than agree with you!!!

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@topic,

It's gonna take a lot more to make it work. It's a lot work when around not to talk of absentee dad

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hey wats up people.its not compulsory dat children must be

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What use is the presence if nothing really comes out of it? Or worse, only the worse comes out of it?

On the contrary. . .the effect of absence is not 'best' imagined. There are those with absent fathers and it's not so minuscule a number. There are too many absent even when present'

If you are really convinced that being present counts for nothing, find out from responsible single female parents if they'll rather not have the dads at home!

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This golden age parenthood psycologist and therapist have succeeding in infesting our brain that Dads really matter in children lives. Dads are just monsters that scares the poo out of us. Sorry Dad. I read recently in UK they are even going to introduce ante-natal classes for prospective Dads.

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Depends on how long and how often he's away from home. If for short periods of time, Yes. If all of the time, No.

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Presence is necesary. No matter how nonchallant d dad is, he'ld still have an impact in upbringing. God provided children wt 2 parents coz He knows its best.

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With due respect, 'presence' only may not count for something major but, it certainly counts! Besides, if presence does not count, the effect of absence is best imagined.

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