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Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?

Can your father or mother chose your spouse for you? If they bring someone to you and tell you that's the person they want you to spend your whole life with/marry will you do it or agree to that? What will you do?

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45 answers

i have read so many responses and they are all stereotyped, no, God forbid, it cant happen. But what about some of us that end up listening to our [arents when u bring a girl home , n and they say no, she is not from our place, or something like dat, YOU CANT MARRY HER. what do u call that? They are practically choosing a wife for u.

as for me, like someone said, its not a forceful thing, if they introduce someone to me, i'll get to meet the person, n have an open mind about it, if i get to like d person along the line, no sweat, if not, then i'll give them d reasons y i cant marry him, finish.

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Ko joooooooooo kode ni jo lailai

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Absolutely not.they can only guide or advice me on how not to make a wrong choice because i'm sure they know and want the best for me

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Parents jst run mouths, I do whatever pleases me

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We have gone past this phenomenon. Are your parents going to pray for you or fall in love for you?

In some cases it might be possible indirectly.

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erm, nope.they can't.i marry who i want to marry

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Hell no. I want to be able to choose my 'husband'.

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its a bad thing but parents do it but they say honour ur fathere and mother so that ur days will b long

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actually what we should all understand is that, this particular man/woman that they've chosen for u is not somebody you really know and before you marry anybody you have to know the person to some extent.

to me in this case i will never allow my parent to choose a woman for me, because I'm the person that is going to marry and live with her, so i know the kind of woman i want to marry and already i have no reason to accept the woman they brought for me.

this is like interfering in your marriage,home and so on, because actually they will always want to know everything that is going on between both of you

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Thank u so much outkast

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Cheekee i love dat u bring d guy home and dey advice u on wat to do.

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My papa and mama no dey for dat yeye.........

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I cant allow my parents choose for me.My mum will only tell me (as she has been telling my big sis) that i shd marry a guy i knw i'll be proud of,a guy good enough to live with and things like that.

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My parent wont even try it, i trust them. They are not the type though.

Even if they are, they know their child is very sick

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Naah, my folks no better. If they choose my spouse, they might as well run the rest of my life including the marriage

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Choose my spouse for me? Now, that's just pushing it. They chose the clothes I'd go to church with, then choose my spouse for me? No way. I love them....infact, too much. But the love goes as far as to say that at whatever age, I'm old enough to make my own choices, then I can deal with the consequences of that myself...whether good or bad. In a nutshell, no way!

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There is nothing wrong when they choose. It is only wrong when they say you must marry the person they have chosen for you. I will be very glad to know who ever my parent recommend, after getting to know the person very well, then proposal may then come thereafter, if she possesses those qualities I want from a woman.

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i don't think that they are to mchoose for me whom to spend my life with but they can be of good help to advice and give opinions about my love life...........

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As well as i respect my parents, i dont think they are good enough to choose for me who i will spend a life time with. They are only qualified to suggest and not to choose.

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that is a good piont to learn from ur mistake..but watch it ..u might make a mistake that could cost ur life

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I would never let them choose for me, at the end of the day its my life and they need to let me make decisions for myself. Although the decisions i make may be mistakes, they need to let me learn from my mistakes.

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I will not let my parents choose a spouse for me, their advice would be welcome, but not as in...like forcing me on the guy,like I must marry him or something even when I am not in love with him, they wouldn't do that anyway.

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@ nicetohave: Please just read part of my earlier post below:-

I boldened "trying" just for the sake of emphasis. You are not supposed to try to please your parents rather, you should please them when and if you have to, but not at the expense of your happiness. There's nothing with you trying to please your parents. Okay?

Hope I've clearified things.

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what is wrong with pleasing ones's parents? Ive had a relationship broken up because her parents didnt approve of me.

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@ ozi, no one is saying you shouldn't give it a try, just that you might end up trying to please your parents.

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Hiya obum and de-king,

if my mum chooses for me, I won't just marry the him without getting to know him first.

it's just that i will keep an open mind, and not just reject her choice without meeting the person.

u see the older i get the more i realise that parents will only have the best intentions for thier kids.

they have had a lot of experiences, and will look out for things that a lot if youths think is insignificant.

they are more culturally and in some cases spiritually aware.

im sure a lot of us that are over 20, look back and remember times when we didn't agree with somethings we were told.

but now we realise with age and more wisdom that they were right.

see it's not like if u should just marry anyone they suggest, but you can at least give it a chance before saying no.

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Ozi of course all of us respects our jugdement to trust her but not to choose your life partner for u for heavens sake, chose out of the many that come around and take dem to ur parents.

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My mom will probably choose a churchy, straight A, non-fashionable, family/church friend's son which is definitely not my type. But my Dad... i guess i'll like his choice because he loves good things but i'm sure NTA, BBC and CNN will all know how the guy came about.lol So NO.i won't allow them choose 4 me. !

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that wont be nice, instead of doing that why not give him a chance to prove his mettle....all your parents have done is an "introduction", not force you to marry him.

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We are talking about choosing which also means someone who would live with you for the rest of your life. Of course I wouldn't accept that because it's my life to live and I have to exercise the right to choose that God has given to me.

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yes, i can.

i respect my mama enough to trust her judgement.

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hello nicetohave here we i am simply saying compelling u too, cos most parents want to choose and pinpoint who u should date and marry too, so they re also COMPELLING U TO.

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NO NO NO

Itz like u cant choose a wife for urself

or ur not man enough

hell no

uv gotta get a wife for urself or there's no wife

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nah, my parents can't choose noone for me to get married to.. I'm too stubborn for that kind of stuff.

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When we say chosing, we are not saying "compelling" here o, in one way or the other friends, peers etc, have played a role in who we date/marry; and in some cases gone as far as impressing the person on us, so why not "our" parents, or is it because we think they are "outdated"?

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Hell NO..my parents are not my type simple..they will find their type..for me

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am down with FOD and SEUN's opinion

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If in good faith, why not? I am no sissy but if in good faith, id accept

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HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT A IYAWO SARA

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Well Seun dat sounds very very funny to me, u mean u will sit down and expect ur Dad/Mum to bring a lady to u for marriage hhhhhmn. NAWA FOR U OH

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Never! I will never allow my parents to choose for me because I will be the one to live with her so I should know what I like and what suits me.

Who wears the shoes know where it pinches.

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If I'm not committed/engaged and the lady has the qualities I want and she consents to it, why not?

I am saying they can choose, but not force me.

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