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Did You Marry The Wrong Person?

Do you for once in your quiet time feel you've married the wrong person and wished you could roll back the hands of time and make another choice? I am married and the thought has never crossed my mind but I hear guys say so.

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I think I did..........

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Very Honest!

But chances are, had you married your 'Fun' Ex, you probably would still feel in a similar way when he too gets busy.

Human nature I guess, but its always good to take a step back and realise why a person is an ex.

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Wen tins dont really go as planned,or ur spouse is not living upto to expectations.in ur quiet time,one could wish.I myself have wished I married my ex boyfriend because he was more of a fun 2me and looks good,dat thot crossed my mind wen my hubby was becoming too busy.everytin was just work and nutin more,buh after some few hours I was still glad I married my hubby,a very good friend of mine.

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Good, I'm glad we're on the same page now.

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Philosophically speaking one may not marry the wrong person but could marry for a wrong reason. However practical experiences from married people show that one can marry the wrong person.  For instance, a lady with a blood group of AS who marries a loving and caring guy with a blood group of AS might end up raising children with SS as their blood group.  This could result in either or both of them being unhappy maritally despite the fact that they truly love themselves.

On the other hand, stories by pastors and marriage counsellors indicate that satan could make you marry the wrong person, a male or female child of the devil, sent from hell, to tamper with your destiny on earth!

The primary mission and purpose of this person that you see as an angel in your life is to stop you from attaining the height God set for you and prevent you from reaching your goals.  If you ask me, I'll tell you that this is true and real!

I share the wealth of experience of the owner of www.marriagestrata.com where I draw inspiration from, to help in my marriage.  So, I take side with the fact that you could marry the wrong person!

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@I do not even want to dwell on the thought,

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I am terrified of marrying the wrong person. So, I just might end up sticking with a long-term-relationship-for-life instead.

Sometimes I feel priviledged being single, because at least I am certain that I still havent made that one crazy mistake yet.

But of course, the idea of being with a person you love for ever, is appealing too.

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I will suggest u read the book 'Hope for the seperated' by Gary Chapam, It will help a lot.

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I agree with spiderman's comment. The truth is, it certainly crosses every one's mind xpecially when there is any misunderstanding cos we are humans. It can never be 100% perfect since we have our differences and that is why we have to complement each other and not compete with each other.

The fact that such thought crosses our minds on ocassions does not mean our spouses are wrong partners, our minds are battle grounds for wrong and right thoughts. it now depends on how we handle such thoughts. Remeber, u can not stop a bird from flying over u, but u can stop it from building a next on ur head! It is best to discard any thought that is not profitable to the health of ur relationship than ruminating over it.

Some are actually the wrong partners and not their spouses. But which ever, wrong partner or wrong individual, U can still make the relationship work. Some1 has got to change his attitude. U can take the lead to love unconditionally, and see the miracle it will perform on ur partner. When u know there is a problem, then the issue is half solved. I challenge those that think they are married to the wrong person to try this out, and pls feed us with the testimonies.

For me, I married the right person, no matter the challenges cos they are meant to strengthen the bonds of our love if well handled!

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U just hit d nail on d head in ur last statement.(IN BOLD FONTS).There is a level of 'BAD' things one can accept especially if one does not want to be miserable for the rest of one's life.

I am not having any problems watsover.im just expressing my own opinion on the issue

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Like I said before… Loving the bad things meaning accepting your partner's flaws and view them as "facts of life".

Trying to change your partner is difficult and is one of the biggest relationship myths around.   

If you're trying to change someone, you are indirectly telling them that you don't love them the way they are. To me, aceptance is LOVE.

If you want this person to change who they are, then why are you with them in the first place? No one is perfect, learn to appreciate the differences between the TWO of you.

They'll change for You when they're ready.

To answer your question: Learn to fall in love again with your partner, and get counseling. If that doesn't work get a divorce.

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inasmuch as i agree with most points u raised,especially on loving the person u married,i still tend to disgree with u on loving ur 'bad' spouse.it takes two to solve watever problems one has within marriage.The two must be ready to love each other and also be devoted to solving watever issues they have.so wat happens wen as a man,ur spouse is always giving u problems, is indifferent and from all indications,the love seems to have gone? i dont advise accepting that,making ur life more miserable.Any marriage that does not involve one sacrifice or d other from both parties is bound to hit d rocks.

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sorry easyman,pls take it easy.  I ve never dated the

                   wrong guy,I am happy to say,I am bless with my guy.He is God

                        sent angel.

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I asked you to marry me.

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may God not let us marry d wrong person jare

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I married the right person despite the marital challenges i have.

If you believe that you have married the wrong person, it simply means that you are also a wrong person to your partner.

So, you need to check yourself and put right what is wrong in you as a first duty.

Then you will see your partner as the right person.

As simple as it is.

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It can cross ones mind as such when the turbulence of marriage gets rough some times. However, if both parties are committed to the relationship, they wont want to crashland together. It has crossed my mind at such times, we survived it. It is a life long project that you work on. It can be gratifying when you look back at the journey. The challenges will surely be there regardless of whomever you take this journey with. I pray mine to be a never-ending one. I am with the RIGHT one.

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No! There is no wrong person. But a wrong mindset

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I'm not married, yet.

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not yet but am about to

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Everyone is nw claiming married.

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why would you deliberately torture yourself? is anyone really worth it?

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Then maybe what people need to do is learn to differentiate between love, lust and obsession. I'd say, marry who you love.

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ppl shld learn to love who they marry and not maryy who they love because what we call love most times is lust or obession

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I do Not and will Never encourage unhealthy or violent relationships. All i'm saying is that No one has the perfect marriage or perfect spouse. Learn to love that person you married. Good, bad, it doesn't matter (loving the bad things - meaning accepting your partner's flaws. Since no one is perfect, you want to learn to appreciate the differences between the TWO of you. Trying to change her/him after getting married will only make both of you miserable.

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Why do you marry that person in the first place? What makes you feel you are with the wrong person? Please honest answer so that 'we' the potential couples will learn from you guys mistake.

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OMG !

HOW could you do that,

thought we were trying to do damage control here buddy,

don't play games with her(she knows).

Have you heard jordin spark's battlefield? is dt what you are trying to turn your home into?

You guys have to talk,

Like call her into the room,lock the door(ds is to imply that if this problem is not solved ,no one is leaving the room)

an d begin to talk,yes talk, and start from the begining.

Man you have to be sincere about how you want for both of you to be happy again,

and pleassse let me quikly add-DO NOT ARGUE WITH HER.

Let her talk and you lesson more,for God sake this is thesame woman you feel inlove with years ago and YOU, THESAME GUY SHE FELL INLOVE WITH TOO,so hey its easy,it'll take time but you guys will work if u respect each other and you don't play games,don't make that love a battlefield.

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so true. works for both parties. I learnt that myself

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@newcreatio

omg, better be careful what you say to her then good or bad, its possible to vexed her earlier .

Man ! truth is; you have all the answers to the puzzle.I've to come to learn that when you sincerely play the fool for your wife seeking happines you most definitely will get it - just allowing a woman be right more than half of the time is the begining of wisdom.

Word!

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@ femi4love, i have been married for about 7years any thing bad on that.

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I concur!

When you love someone you gotta to love everything about them Not just the good things but the bad things too.

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@Boboribo I thought what we were looking at is working out the marriage and being happy with the your spouse. Being fulfilled together.

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@Fhemmmy

The question was not meant for me. Like I said, it has not crossed my mind not because I had no one in the past before my wife. Its just that for me there isn't much of a difference between women and so there really was no need for my mind to wander (after my marriage) to a previous relationship for comparism. Like I have said in other posts, the sooner men realise that women are virtually the same, the happier they will become. Just enjoy the one you have. You cant have another one. Christianity does not even allow to make another choice. you can only pray for God to make it better.

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such a gamer.

My yim is on my profile.

or just click on the yahoo icon on my profile to the left.

<<<

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@Topic

am not married

and if i were, never will it be to a wrong person.

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interesting topic wld it it up later!!

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I was thinking, as a Christian, if you walk in love, God's love, you can live with anyone. But that does not mean one should not do his/her home work in regard sto marriage or any type of relationship for that matter. Home work for a life partner: praying; thinking; dating (investigating); and believing the best of the person (knowing that there is no perfect being, everybody has his/her own fault); and also working on your own strengths and weaknesses.

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@H202 + tanimz,

get a room!!!!!

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@H202 AND TANIMZ

why ona dey bring ona singleness come here na? dont you know this place is strictly for the married ones.

i beg make them pursue ona commot here jor make i dey enjoy married gist.

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Your ability to show real love, endure and be patient help you enjoy your marriage. If these things are lacking in your marriage, then you will always think that you married the wrong person.

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Who knows? are you single and willing to mingle, maybe we can start somewhere huh

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^^^ Will you marry me?

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Bros, there are many spirit-led peeps this days o, i know of one that didn't make it to the altar. e be like say d spirit lead am go a different direction 1 week to the wedding day.

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@ Topic. I Couldn't have find someone better than what i 've got.

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I know i made the right choice. See, when u are truely led by the Spirit of of God, u can't go wrong.

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