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Do I Kidnap My Own Son?

Hi NLders, i dont know what gave me the confidence or courage to put this up on here for advices, i have been on NL for a while now{ just registerd, but been followings posts for a long time} I HAVE A PROBLEM,

Is there something like spiritual compatibility??

Been in a relationship with this lady for over 4yrs now, engaged, but not yet ,married, we have a son together, she is Ghanian and am Nigerian, we love each other{ i know i love her} we were living together until i noticed something very strange, anytime we made love, its either i go into debts or i go stupidly broke and start selling my stuffs, i seek advices from older couples and they told me to try and stay away from her for a while, a week after we started staying apart, i bought a car, Golf 4 American specs,,, sent money home for my brother's Education, we remained apart till then, i live in Accra and she lives in Takoradi{her home town} i had to travel 6 hours to see my son when ever i want to and i dont like it, am now ready to return home to Nigeria, i wanted to bring my son with me, they{her family} said NO,they want me to wait till he is 7yrs old{he is almost 3 yrs now}, do i kidnap him or leave him behind, would i be labeled as selfish or self-centerd if i just walk away, PLEASE I NEED ADVICES,,HIS PICTURE ON MY PROFILE

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38 answers

Am being wise ma sista thats why am voicing out and staying out of emotional slavery. they was paying their bill s, but the moment i came into the picture, DAROSHA DON ENTER TRAP,

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ABEG, MAKE I JUST VEX HERE NOW SPOIL EVERYTHING,,,,LWKMD

U don't have to be very angry.

I am a nija babe what Spidercylinder is telling you is nothing but the truth. No woman will want to leave her child with a man. It's beta u go on with the support for him.

Why are u saying all these things "paying their house rents etc." If I may ask when u neva met d lady was his parents not footing their bills? Be wise, a step mom won't take care of ur son like the mum would've.

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Thank you White one,

an agreement has been reached and am sure i have made the right choice by reading and accessing responds on here , Once again thank you

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Whiteone,

you kinda mis-understand my problem and its very expected, SHE IS NOT A WITCH, i can put my life on the line for that.

have you heard about[b] GENERATIONAL CURSES??[/b] a situation where theres a repetition of the same problems from the grand mother or grandfather to the child and so on, honestly i know what am trying to avoid, thats why its good to make background checks before you just get married or get engaged,

I am not against her, am just against the curse ruining my own life and trying not to ruin OUR son's life alongside

Am the only one working, we tried almost 4 times to get her working, its either this or that and shes off,i even relocated so as to get a closer location to her work place and encouraged her, but at the end, its all the same story

and regarding to what Jesus would do, [b] AM ROLAND NOT JESUS [/b]and if Jesus was in my shoes, he would first take the peck out of his own eyes first then he can be able to see well enough to take the log out of someones eyes

am human, i accept i can make mistakes, but for me to be judged and assumed self centerd?? thats not called for

IF i decide to take him{ settled issue} i would take care of him myself, he would live with me either i re-married or not, \

thanks for your concern and advice though,

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So you are broke if you stay with the mother of your child and you was not able to buy a new car for youself or sent money back home to Nigeria to pay for your brothers education and you went into arrears or debts, when you sleeped with her - in other words you call the mother of your child a witch and you are thinking she might have used some Ju-Ju to bind your wealth down with her and the kid . .

Well, was she working or are you the only bread winner?

How did pay for the house rent, the food in the house NEPA and so on?

There is more behind as you are telling us here!

If she is a witch regarding to your accusation, would she not use the kid to get more money out of you?

Why than you consider to take the child with you? And if you can take it, how will take care of it . . . your mum . . . your new nigerian wife . . . or will you stay at home to baby sit?

You are just talking here of yourself, i do not see a sign of blessing in your talk, yet - it is normal to have more cash at hand to spend if you just have to feed youself and not three of you.

Where is the blessing in you doing?

What would Jesus do?

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Great news on your decision. Please still stay in contact with him via any way you can. I really hope the best for you and am pleased you put your son's needs first. I really hope it all works out for you.

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Hi all and once again thank you for your advices, the good ones and the NOT SO GOOD ones as well, its all appreciated, but it all boils down to taking the right step and making the right decision, so this is what i have decided

After talking to mother and considering both parties, i am just gonna let him be here with his mother, i did not grow up with mine and i can still remember what i went through growing up, i dont want that for my son, so am gonna let him stay with his Mom till he is 10yrs and then we know what steps to take when that time comes, but for now. GHANA IS WHERE HE STAYS,

GOOD OR BAD DECISION,

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What exactly is your decision?

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you cant kidnap your own child but that is symantics. your gf isnt bringing you bad luck - but if you dont want to stay with her then you need to reach a custody agreement between the two of you. you cannot deny the mother her rights to her own child nor can she deny yours. unless these other people are going to raise the child they have no voice in the matter.

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Another Nigerian man blaming a woman for his failures. Why not go to Nigeria and live for a while. I am sure the further youare away from her v jay jay the more prosperous you will get. That way you will be able to prove to the whole world that her womanliness is so powerful it can cause money to vanish into thin air

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spikedcylinder, guess my sad mood took over for a while there and your candid way of advice too didnt help my mood at that particular time, am sorry i over reacted in my reply , i just felt threatened, felt like you are in support of what am going through,

Now that said,

I am in control emotionaly to take care of him if i so want to, i have taught myself to cut my schedules to suit his needs, he stays with me for 3 weeks or even a month at times without his mother being there, on my FB our everyday pictures and activities were shared there,

well, my decision has been made thanks to this wonderful FAMILY MEETING I HAD ON HERE, just wish me luck and lets keep in touch

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Just make sure u keep in touch and visit them often untill the boy is 7.

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ABEG, MAKE I JUST VEX HERE NOW SPOIL EVERYTHING,,,,LWKMD

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spikedcylinder, WHO THE 4K ARE U?? WHO INVITED UR silly DUMB Bottom HERE AND MAKE U FEEL LIKE U BETTER THAN I AM?? WHY DONT U SHUT THAT CAKE TRAP U CALL A MOUTH RATHER THAN SPIT EPILEPSY INTO WHATS NOT UR BUSSINESS?? I HAVE EVERY DAMN RIGHT TO TAKE HIM IF I SO WANT, WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?? BECAUSE I NEEDED TO BE A NICE MAN DO I HAVE TO END UP FEEDING HER WHOLE FAMILY?? PAY THEIR HOUSE RENT AND EVEN SEND 2 KIDS TO SCHOOL ALL BECAUSE THEY WERE BORN THE SAME DAY, INTO THE SAME FAMILY AND THE OTHER KIDS FATHER IS AN IN-RESPONSIBLE GHANIAN GUY? DONT I HAVE A LIFE?? AM I NOT SUPPOSE TO BE HAPPY AND SUCESSFUL BECAUSE I HAD A CHILD WITH A GHANIAN LADY THATS GOT A SPIRITUAL PROBLEM WITH HER FAMILY BACKGROUND? WHO THE Bleep ARE YOU TO ASK ME AM I ANGEL GAB, ARE YOU GOD??

YOU CALL MY REASON FLIMSY, FLIMSY THAT I NEEDED TO STEER CLEAR FROM ENEMIES OF PROGRESS LIKE YOURSELF,

DONT GET ME ANGRY HERE, THIS IS ONE OF THE REAONS I AM BEING RELUCTANT ABOUT ASKING FOR ADVICES FROM PEOPLE,

HE IS MY SON, MY INLAWS LEFT ME TO FACE THE RESPONSIBILITIES WHEN SHE WANTED TO GIVE BIRTH, SOLD MY CAR TO SETTLE BILLS,

HE IS MY SON AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT FACT AWAY FROM ME, YOU BETTER START CONSULTING YOUR GHANIAN GOVERMENT, MY PICS IS ON MY PROFILE POST IT TO THEM, I WILL DO ALL IT TAKES{ IF PUSEHD} TO GET MY SON OUT OF GHANA ''IF I DEEM IT FIT, CARELESS OF WHAT ANYONE SAYS''

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Why will she not want to hold on to her dear son? The flimsy reason you broke up with her is that her 'spirit' is a stymie to your financial success, is it not? Who do you think you are? Angel Gab? What even makes you think you have more - emotionally- to offer your son? Ghanaian people will never allow you take away their child, in case you didn't know. Besides, naturally (I mean unless the woman is deranged), children are better off with their mothers anyway.

For the good of your son, leave him with his mother and contribute your quota financially (roll eyes) and otherwise to the upkeep of your son.

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thanks to all posters, am truly relieved and happy i posted this on here, felt like A FAMILY MEETING lol,

GOD BLESS U ALL ,

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You couldn't have said it better!

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@Aglah1976

I think i know how you feel and the dilemma you are going through.

Truly a 3 year old child still needs his mother's love. He is too young to be seperated from his mother, it can cause irreparable damage to his psyche and self esteem. your profile picture shows you really care about the child, but if you take him from his mother, you might not be able to fill the vacuum due to your work or career and then end up leaving his care to your aunties or relatives, and this can lead the child to become withdrawn.

My advice is go ahead and establish your business in nigeria, but discipline yourself to visit him at least every 3 months and spend quality time with him that leaves him with fond memories of you and at the same time you are building a relationship and establishing rapport with him.

In due season, get a God fearing girl to marry that will love you and be willing to be a part of your son's life, and therafter you can approach them again about taking custody of your child. At this time, your son will be crying for you and they will have no choice than to relinquish him to you. This can be done at 5 years of age.

Above all i think you need to be serious with God and ask for his blood to cleanse you from all bad luck and oppression and that He continues to bless the work of your hands. Remember no one can curse whom the lord has blessed.

Cheers

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Tink_sh , thanks alot for ur advice,,,,,

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lol, i get ur point chaircover,

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bluespice, the child in question is legally a Ghanaian citizen either i like it or not, so the court will always protect the interest of its own citizen have seen this at work once, and i dont wanna expose myself to that kinda atmosphere of having to loose a case when i could have avoided it in the first place, i know what to do already, am just trying to get advices maybe i should be a stone hearted man and just walk away with my son, or leave him with his mom and return home to 9ja to face persecutions by my family for leaving him behind, how would my decision affect or infect his future.         {grew up without my mom too and i know how hard that was} his future is all i care about, he is my first child

galatico , we have stop havin Bleep for more than 1 yr now that set back stuff has been avoided and closed ,,, catch me?? the only place i might be having problem i might be having would be at the Ghana-Togo boarder and that too can be arranged{ a woman to help carry him across boardghr} so honestly, being caught aint my fear, his future is what i dont wanna tamper with like mine was,

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I understand your point but please be careful and dont act on emotion. In the future how will your son feel about you when he finds out you stole him from his mother. He WILL find out. Its not right to keep a child away from his mother no matter how you feel, unless he is being abused or neglected. You obviously wont be going back so he can see his mum cos you will be thrown in jail. What are the legal agreements with your country and his mothers? What if she comes to Nigeria to hunt you down or worse.

I have a son from my failed marriage and even though i would love to have absolutely nothing to do with his father, i have no choice. Its not my son's fault his parents failed so why should he be punished. My son as your son never asked to put in this situation. I hate they way my ex is with my child but he is not being abused and as soon as my son says he doesnt want to go visit i will not force him. But til then i have to do whats best for him.

You have to put his needs first. Wait til he is old enough to come to you on his own and until then stay in contact with him at all times. It will be hard but in the end it will pay off. Please be careful and put alot of thought into the consequences your actions would have on your son.

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bluespice, the child in question is legally a Ghanaian citizen either i like it or not, so the court will always protect the interest of its own citizen have seen this at work once, and i dont wanna expose myself to that kinda atmosphere of having to loose a case when i could have avoided it in the first place, i know what to do already, am just trying to get advices maybe i should be a stone hearted man and just walk away with my son, or leave him with his mom and return home to 9ja to face persecutions by my family for leaving him behind, how would my decision affect or infect his future. {grew up without my mom too and i know how hard that was} his future is all i care about, he is my first child

galatico , we have stop havin Bleep for more than 1 yr now that set back stuff has been avoided and closed ,,, catch me?? the only place i might be having problem i might be having would be at the Ghana-Togo boarder and that too can be arranged{ a woman to help carry him across boardghr} so honestly, being caught aint my fear, his future is what i dont wanna tamper with like mine was,

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who cares what she's doing personally with her life?

you are interested in the well being of your son and only if her partners constitute any harm to your child should it then become a problem of yours.

You need to talk with her to arrange the terms of your son staying with you.

If she refuses to give it a hearing, the courts are always there

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This is hard question, if I where to be in your shoes which I don't pray to be.

Thank God you already know that each time you have Bleep with her you vurtually go broke and you have a son with her, there two things you could do stop making love to her, that would make her upset, you have a reason for doing that, secondly you could kidnap your son as you said, but that would be dangerous, consider this question what if you get caught?

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@bluespice, theres nothing to talk to the mom about, she has moved on with her life with someone else in her life, but still staying in her fathers house {am typing this from there, been here for 1 week now to see my son} and what she wanna do with the child is hold him and not let go,

@n-guage, This is not the first time i am noticing this, i have sold 2 cars and a business center in the process, so you might no about human spirituality as u have said, but i think theres no how anyone can fell someones pain if u have never been through such before,

@Tink_sh, Dealing with it legally would hold me back here for another 4yrs, and talking about taking rubish, i am now used to it, all i want is a brighter future for my boy, dont need him going through what i went through growing up,

i could just pick him up and walk away, am just thinking ahead and all your advices are worth millions to me in this situation and stage of my life

THANK U ALL

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Please deal with this legally. If you kidnap him and they find you then you wont ever see him again and have totally messed your son up for life. You just have to work hard at being part of his life. I dont know what the custody rules are there but its up to you. Put your son first and make the effort to stay in contact with him til he is old enough to come see you on his own. Even if you get rubbish from his mother dont let that stop you. The child is whats important here. When he is older he will then know you loved him and wanted him cos you worked hard to see him when he was little. Good luck to you.

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First, if the only reason you're breaking up with her is because you go broke after sleeping with her, get back with her ASAP. The only correlation between sleeping with her and going broke is the one you've created in your own mind. I know enough about human spirituality so take this from me.  Once you get back with her or at least settle things with her, everything will work.

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why don't you talk to the mom,

from what you said, it's the family that's throwing a fit, what do you and the mom wanna do about the child?

the family is irrelevant

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thanks all for the advices, i guess i will just leave,, nothing is chasing me here, am just tired and wanted to go back home, settle down and establish a bussiness, just worried i might make a silly mistake by leaving him behind,,

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OK. Sorry but thats a flimsy excuse to say that hes too young he wont recongnise his mother, yeah like he will recongnise you too. But like I said you might have to go through the courts with this one, since you all cant reach an agreement. All the same, try and talk to her and explain to her that you want to be in your sons life as well. But you all need to come to an agreement.

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The only excuse they give was' he is too small to be taken away from him mom, he might end up not recognizing her in future'

am located in Ghana

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well i personally dont think you should kidnap the child. Every child needs the presence of both parents in their lives. You are the father and have your own duties, but you cannot replace a mother in a child's life. You are truely the father of the child right?If so, the woman does not have the right to tell you when you can see your son. He can come and see you over holidays, and if both of you are adults and behave like you are, you should be able to come to an agreement to share custody. Now if she is being difficult, you can take her to court and do things the right way. All of this is for the sake of your child, so that he is in a good and healthy environment. Just calm down, and make the right decisions. You dont want to deprive a child of his mother's love and presence in his life. Goodluck.

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And NO, you can get in serious trouble for kidnapping. DO NOT under and circumstances KIDNAP any kid. Ok? You will be thrown in jail. Also if you want custody of your child, you man need to go through the courts. Where are you located?

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Well I need more information. Why dont they want you to have him until hes 7?

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Are you leaving her too? I don't understand did you break up with her? You have to understand that there is a kid involved. You need to do whats best for the child.

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i don't think it's right that you kidnap him because you went over there to have a baby so the child is their own citizen which means you should abide by the country's law or work something out with the family. By the way what is chasing you from the country now?

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@Akina,

we have stopped the relationship for almost 1 year now, we are no longer together, i am thinking of my son's future thats why i need advices so i dont make a terrible mistake

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