«Home

Extramarital Affairs,would you apologize to your extended family?

I say it should be kept between the husband and wife and at most the immediate family.

My cousin who is a NL member says the offender should be made to apologize to the extended family because bad behaviour effects us all.

Would you do a " Tiger Woods" or do you think it should be your private concern?   (I am asking this question on behalf of @jennigirl)

Avatar
Newbie
13 answers

I have a problem with  your last sentence, I really think you need to put that quote in context.

This is not about "he who is without sin", it is about accountability and acceptance of wrongdoing. That quote does not absolve anyone of their sin, neither does it make anyone's wrongdoing ok.

If a person is wrong, they should admit they are wrong regardless of what the other party has or hasn't done.  To not do so is simply failing to take responsibility for our own actions and - in the context of the quote - trying to scapegoat someone else to cover up our own bad behaviour.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Come to think of it, maybe if cheaters are subject to public humiliation they would reduce in number.

I doubt it would be effective for too long though because it too would eventually become casual.

0
Avatar
Newbie

The latter part of your statement is my stance, but after reading your full comment I shall try to understand my extended family's contributions.

Thank you.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Yeah, obviously. Love and Trust are an integral foundation of relationships. Cheating is in violation of that trust and love and it puts that foundation on shaky grounds. I would imagine that they get involved to repair the damage born by the mishap. It would be great if the couple can find a working "do it yourself approach" that would resolve the problem, but I don't see that being possible in most cases because the hurt cuts far too deep and the vow-breaking act leaves an acrid taste in the mouth. I can see how involving mature minds could do wonders for the couple, and I can also see how involving those third parties could also be volatile and embarrassing.

0
Avatar
Newbie

quote by H202

Like I stated earlier, Tiger's apology was calculated and meticulously scripted.  He did not feel obliged to give an apology.  Due to his status as a mega public figure he had to put the surrounding hoopla to rest by coming out with a few statements, else the media will continue to make his life hell on earth.

[quote][/quote]

Yes you are right in all you have said, sadly,  I believe it should be his and the wife's business.

You  are  right also in your statement with regards to the media.

In my culture the extended family always involve themselves and influence the couple, is this for the good?

0
Avatar
Newbie

As per topic,

again

We drag people in the mud and hurt them with our actions in ways other than cheating too, so why should cheating preferentially receive special treatment or require an audience seeking your forgiveness?

No one is pure. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. 

Like I stated earlier, Tiger's apology was calculated and meticulously scripted.  He did not feel obliged to give an apology.  Due to his status as a mega public figure he had to put the surrounding hoopla to rest by coming out with a few statements, else the media will continue to make his life hell on earth.

0
Avatar
Newbie

thats why a married person should not wash their dirty linens in public.

Marriage is between 2 people,otherwise stay single

0
Avatar
Newbie

^^I see your point of view.

0
Avatar
Newbie

to the entire world no, but to anyone who became involved then yes. did a relative have to "cover" for you? did relatives have to listen to your wife in her suspicions of your acts? did relatives have to console your wife? did relatives have to beg your wife on your behalf? what about friends? if you can honeslty no to all these and related questions then no you have noone other then your wife and children to apologize to, if any one else was involved then yes you have to apologize to them as well since your actions involved them.

if you feel guilty or ashamed for having to apologize to people then obviously you knew your actions were wrong - why would you do it if not prepared for the fall out the is inevitable

0
Avatar
Newbie

i will not

marriage is between 2 people

0
Avatar
Newbie

^^I agree 100% and to be honest I thought it was unnecessary, but that's just me, I hate dirty linen being washed in public

0
Avatar
Newbie

If that's the case then we'd be holding cheaters-conferences around the clock everyday.

The reason Tiger Woods dutifully apologized to the public has everything to do with his supercelebrity status.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.