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Find Condom In Your Husband’s Pocket: What Will You Do?

Find condom in your man’s pocket?

By GIDEON OPARINDE

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Segun was in Abuja for a three-day official assignment. As he was unpacking his bag at his hotel, he found two packs of condom hidden in his luggage. He knew he did not put it there. It was the handiwork of his wife who does not want to take chances with the health of her spouse.

Abosede

http://odili.net/news/source/2009/jul/5/505.html

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Many women are coming to terms with the reality of their men probably having an affair or an occasional fling. We sought the opinion of some of them if, by accident, they find condom in their man’s pocket. Their responses:

ODESOLA ABOSEDE

There is nothing I can say. Of course I will be happy to find a condom in his pocket, knowing that he is being careful not to impregnate another woman or infect me with diseases. But I rather would advice him to be careful when keeping a relationship outside marriage. This, I understand happens because some men don’t want to make their wives sex machines, so they go out to satisfy their sexual urge from other ladies or women who have the energy and strength to meet their demands. So, I will always advice him to use condom whenever he is hanging out with other ladies. There is no problem finding a condom in his pocket because it makes me safe with him

MRS. EBOTIE LUCY

For me, if peradventure I find condom in my husband’s pocket, I won’t take it up with him violently. No. All I need is some explanations. Yes, explanations on where and how he got it and where he uses it. If his explanation is convincing enough, I might overlook it. But if he sounds incoherent, I would not take it lightly with him. I simply will conclude he is cheating on me and that could infect me with diseases.

I remain with him on the condition that sex will be out of our lives to be on the safe side, condom or no condom.

.MRS. JONES

I would do is ask him if he was given at a seminar or in the office. But if he did not get it in either of these places, I will only advice him to be extra careful in his affairs with other women.

DAMMY JOSEPH

Definitely I won’t be happy because it shows he is not being faithful to me. In other words, it shows that he is cheating on me. But on the other hand, I will be happy because at least he is protecting himself from deadly diseases and unwanted pregnancy.

No man is an exemption to extra-marital affair. It is their nature to cheat on their wives, no matter how beautiful and respectful their wives might be, they still look out. It is only God that could change this nature of theirs.

MRS. KENNY

I trust my husband, so I would not think negatively of him for he cannot cheat on me.

The fact that I found a condom in his pocket does not put it that he is unfaithful to me. It could be that he was given by these health safety awareness officials.

OSASONA DUPE

I will not hold issues against him because he must have been given at a seminar or health conference. On the other hand, he might buy it for safety purpose. But if I noticed he was hiding it from me, I would ask him and his response would determine my reaction towards him.

MRS. GEMBA RABIAT

As for me, my husband does not sleep out because I know him that much, but for other women I may not know. If I find condom in his pocket, I will ask him how he came about it before I get annoyed. One, some offices share condoms, while sometimes it is shared in seminars or when they have some awareness programmes on how to prevent unwanted diseases or unwanted pregnancies.

His reactions would show whether he is faithful or not and I will not ask him again in order to avoid more terrible consequences.

CYNTHIA NDIANAEFO

We shouldn’t be jumping at conclusions. Finding condom in his pocket does not mean there is something fishy, no.

Definitely, I will feel bad in the sense that I will feel perhaps; I was not satisfying him enough. If he tells me I’m not treating him well, I definitely will adjust because no one is perfect.

Nevertheless, there are men that cannot be satisfied with just one woman. These categories of men, I would say, have reasons behind their behavior. Moreover, I will not quarrel with him, but will make him my best friend in order to know his weak points and know how to handle the ugly situation.

MRS MARY SIMEON

Condom is a package used for sexual protection. Some organizations distribute condoms to its staff. It might be given to him in the office or at a seminar. Aside these, should I find a condom in my husband’s pocket, I will feel cheated, though it will not make me get mad at him. As a responsible and learned person, I will ask him first, and if he gives a genuine reason then I’ll for it.

I will take up the case prayerfully so it would not get out of hands because despite the love that brought us together, men will always be men.

MRS PEACE DANIEL

I would first want to know how he came about the condom, because sometimes it’s is distributed in either the office or at seminars. Finally, as husband and wife, we need to believe in each other. So I will believe in whatever he tells me.

HANNAH N WAGUZOR

It depends on the individual. If find a condom in his pocket, the first thing I will do is make enquiry how he got it, but in a soft manner that would not stir up trouble.

If you take it up in a fight and it turns out that he is innocent, it might cause him to do what you are accusing him of. If he is guilty, I would ask him where I had gone wrong or lacking so I can fix things, because if a man cannot see your value as a wife, abusing the marriage is inevitable. So, as a virtuous woman, I have to make him, help him; stand by him, even in his mistakes.

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50 answers

There is nothing wrong with using condoms. Some religions seem to be banning such a practice. However, it can prevent a man or a woman from catching STDs or getting undesirable pregnancies even in their family. However, using condoms outside of your home or marriage could be a problem. There is no second thought on this matter. Marital disloyalty is a serious issue. It can lead to marriage break up and even the Bible states fornication as the reason for divorce. So, supplying your husband with condoms to keep him safe having sex away from home is like giving him your permission to have an affair. It’s up to you to decide whether to put up with such things or not. READ ALSO: Who to marry – 5 best tips for Nigerians here https://ask.naij.com/love-and-relations/who-to-marry-5-best-tips-for-nigerians-i23490.html.

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This is a very difficult question to answer as a man. But one thing is clear, the man in question with condom is trying to prevent himself from STD (of which any woman should appreciate) and two, Unwanted pregnancy (at least, to make sure the only children of the man is from the Holy Wedlock).

The truth is that faithfulness to ones parter is what is morally okay and that is accepted by God but as we all know what goes round the whole world, INFIDELITY everywhere.

Please dont kill him if you find condom in his bag or pocket. Rather pack your bag and go if you cant stand it. But think of it, if he did not use any condom, you might not have seen any traces.

Make sure you watch ''Cheaters TV'' programme to get yourself prepared for the unexpected

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As a guy want to imagine the reverse of this case.I find a condom in my wife's purse(when we dont use any).Oh! boy.I'd be damned.I will simply not see her as the person she used to be.I wont beat her (i dont beat ladies,its a sin) but she will regret it. I guess thats why i wont even think of cheating my wife cuz i know how it feels.Do onto others what u will like to be done to u.

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i dont know in which world you are living but in my world, therefore in MY HUMBLE OPINION, nobody has to suffer sexually due to the inability of their spouse.

as much as a man has the right to go and seek elsewhere if his spouse doesnt provide him with what he desires in the bedroom, A WOMAN has the exact same rights.

some women use all their "might" to seduce men and get them to propose but as soon as the ring is on their fingers, they suddenly stop to try wooing that same man. in my book, this is deceit, that man expect the same type of women he discovered when they were courting, therefore she should continue till the rest of hr days to do whatever she did . if not, then the man has the right to go and seek a person to fill the void that was created when GF became spouse.

in the same aspect, if a man was spending thousands on his gf to woo her then he has to continue spending when she becomes his wife because that woman has been accustomed to big spending. if the husband suddenly decides to stop the day he gets a ring on her finger then she has the right to go and seek that "spending therapy" somewhere else.

if you attract something by false pretence then thats your own problem to deal with "keeping it"

also we all know how women can be fantastic one day and suddenly decides that they do not need to be attractive for the sake of "family" and therefore puts on weight, gets lazy and then complains when the husband is no more sexually attracted to her.

it is a woman's duty to shag her man till he is satisfied, and vice versa. if for any plausible reason, a person cannot perform his bedroom duties then the spouse has all the rights to go and seek it elsewhere. why should ONE person suffer because of the handicap of another? if my wife cannot shag me the way i seek to be shagged then i will let her know that i am going to seek a freak who can satisfy my sexual hunger. in the same way that if i cannot satisfy my wife's sexual needs , then she has all the rights to get her freak on with someone else. i am not an hypocrite nor i am silly to believe that a woman will be happy while she is lacking heavily in the bedroom department.

men's ego is what make you wrote what you wrote.

should a married women be sexually deprived the day her husband become impotent? should a man become a priest the day his wife becomes frigid and turned off by sex? i see men having sex with "wooden boards" (wives) all their lives and stick with it, to each their own if they want to suffer. i dont!

any union is to be happy together not get together and start suffering in the name of "MARRIAGE".

but if thats what you are about then good for you, brotha!

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you see that is exactly my problem with people quoting the bible. very quick to bring the verses along, stand by them and insult people who dont abide by them, but when someone shows you verses that states something against your being/wishes/lifestyle then its either" times have changed" or bend the words to your advantages etc etc

the bible quotes specifically that in marriage the man is the head and the women is under that same man and that she should OBEY him. so if a woman is going to quote the bible for her own agenda, i think she should OBEY her man at the same time and do all the things quoted on the verses i posted "from the bible".

you either take the bible for ALL its value or nothing at all. picking up whatever verses pleases you to make a point and discard others because they dont go with your lifestyle is called being an "hypocrite"

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Whao whao whao interesting topic. There ar some circumstances that ar better explain if u're around. A suspicious husband can never escape but how about smartguys?? Man has got to be a Man not like cheatin or whatever but seeing a condom in is pocket may ve genuine explanation. Let's take it vise-versa: what if a man found a condom in her wife purse? Condoms ain't biscuits or chocolate to be kept in pocket!!!

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MRbrownJay if we can reduce our atrocities then cheating should be 1 of them cos it drags along other sins like lying, dishonesty etc. When i typed unGodly i meant not morally good,yes we are all sinners but some of us are quick to realise what we done go and ask God for forgiveness and try not to do it again, as i said earlier it brings other baggage. I dont know how to use the quote well cos i would have loved to answer u one after the other so bear with me and here goes as for the Bible verses i don't agree with everything times have changed but women do have to submit but not be silly in that trend, men the head women the neck we can rotate that head 360 degrees if we want to or not but that also could be manipulative, should a woman married or not be showing too much cleavage i dont think so remember dress the way you want to be adressed and i think the Bible meant about character not physical, the child-bearing its painful but my dear what can we do its Eve that started it all we pray is to deliver like the Hebrew women, its can swing both ways u have to talk it over with ur spouse b4 u take a decision and i dont agree with that Bible verse not cos i am a lady lol but cos if men ruled all this while i think a lot of little details would have been overlooked and their is soooo much a woman can do for the church, and lastly if ur desire isnt for ur husband then who will it be 4 the gardener and ruling i think doesnt mean dominate it means working side by side 4 a better r/s. I hope i have made u see understand a little, and any woman who wants to be treated as a slave is just ignorant not wiv the the kind of DNA's out there nobody takes poo from nobody

P.S pls do write God with a capital G

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As a Male, I ain't call here. . . I am only here to advice you ladies, wifes and so on to make sure you kill your Husband, Boyfriend and theirlikes ifyou find that in their pocket. . . . . . . , . . . , .

ok

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Hey Women or maybe Ladies,

Either you trust your Husband or not or his heart and soul is in your purse,

let me tell you that a Man is still a Man that is they tend to cheat if not today they'll do it tomorrow even if he's a priest, or a pastor or whatever.

Even me as a man i don't trust every man to that even at their old age.

Think about how u gonna protect your life and be happy he's using condoms,

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PUREST I FEEL U, WHAT IS BAD IS BAD WHY CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE? IF YOU GUYS SEE CONDOM IN YOUR WIVES BAG AND YOU DONT USE IT AT HOME WHAT WILL YOU DO, I NEED ANSWERS PLEASEEEEEEEEE

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what has god got to do with cheating? aint we all sinners? are you saying that this sin is "bigger/worst" than any other sins?

there are NO big sins or small sins, sins are sins and since we all know that we are all sinners (unless you will claim to never have/will sin) then this subject is the same as any other.

do what is right by you and try to be the best you can knowing that it aint easy.

but hey since you are talking about god and the bible, here is what this great book says about WOMEN in marriages:

1 Corinthians 11:3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

1 timothy 2:9-10  I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

1 Timothy 2:12-15 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

1 Corinthians 14:34-35 women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.

Genesis 3:16 Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.

believe me, if you want to use the bible as a reference for marriage conducts then women will be no better than slaves in their own homes. LOL

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There is no reason that justifies cheating on ur partner/spouse its unGodly and its cruel to do dat 2 another human dat has over-the-top feelings for you people shuld sit and talk about sex before marrying in couples programmes in church these days 4 peeps who r not married dey discuss dis sex issue alot u shuld be able 2 sit down wiv sum1 and talk extensively about fantasies(if not over the top like 3somes),wants,cravings,must-haves and needs. And to the idiots who do u dont know u r digging ur grave i crack up sumtimes wen i think of their afterlife in HELL and ur wife sipping grapejuice at God's right hand side

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I'd say, "oh! I didn't know the rules for us had changed. Great! There's this cute little dude at work that has been sweating me for months but I kept telling him I was married. Now, I will make my move!" (just kidding)

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I'd prepare a delicious meal,smile, and quietly ask him what he doing with a condom.if he aint got no plausible explanation.i'll sweetly shove it down his throat.

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I'l prepare a nice dinner,smile,sit down and quietly ask him why he's got a rubber_if he aint got no plausible answer.i'l shove it down his throat.

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Why do people feel that condoms r safe, its even on the pack 97% what if u fall under the 3% anywayz as 4 OP the poo is gonna hit the fan

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Well there is a reality people are trying to assume. A condom is supposed to prevent contact with body fluids. But how exactly do you do this when a woman ejaculates on you? Well its still not convincing to have a condom. A woman may be safe but a man, I wonder!!!

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Never said a man is cheating.

Just said a man was in possession of condom

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What is bad is bad. Why should a man cheat in the first place?

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come on ladies, lets be realistic for a minute.

as much as cheating is not the right thing to do in relationships,that you like it or not (or care to admit it or not) one way or another, now or later, with or without your consent, the longer you are together chances are your spouse/partner might cheat on you.

the earlier you ladies accept this fact the easier life could be for you all. i dont say that he should start cheating the day after the marriage but whenever you decide that you dont want to make that extra effort to seduce him, the day you decide that you dont want to be sexy any longer, the day you decide that you dont want to upgrade your bedroom acrobatics repertoire, the day you decide that you dont want to please your man any longer then he should go and have his side toto (the best way is to let you know about it beforehand but we all know how problematic that discussion is going to be)

what we have to look at and value here is that your husband CARE enough about you to wear a condom while he lays with them gutter rats. no need to bring home some silly diseases that will make the both of you despair.

so if you ever find a condom in your men's pocket, do the right thing and put an extra 2 or 3 in there to make sure that he uses them if there is need for a second or third round.

you would thank me in the future, the day you hear that his side toto has some silly diseases but thanks to the condoms he often used, you didnt catch anything.

tada

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The flimsiest excuse in the book.

What if they have been married for a while and yet never used a condom and they have other ways to prevent big belle?

What if they are trying for kids?

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NO PROBLEM ABOUT THAT,THAT HE IS SLEEPING OUTSIDE IS NOT MY PROBLEM BUT THE REASON WHY HE'S DOING THAT, I WILL ASK HIM MAYBE I DENY HIM OF MY RIGHTS AS A WIFE OR I DIDN'T AGREE WHENEVER HE DEMAND FOR IT,IF HE CANT ANSWER THAT MAKE HIM TO BE GUILTY.I WILL TELL HIM THAT CONDOM IS NOT 100%SURE SO HE SHOULD BE CAREFUL.IT BAFFLES ME WHEN SOME WOMEN SAY THAT THEIR HUSBAND CAN ENGAGE IN EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS.THE REASON IS THAT MEN WILL SAY WOMEN SHOULD NOT HAVE CONCUBINES BUT THEY CAN DO IT.I WILL TELL HIM THAT HE SHOULD NOT LET IT BE OBVIOUS TO ME OR ELSE, A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.SO MEN BE GUIDED.THANKS

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@topic

I am not a woman so I wont know what to do.

Seriously, I think this is a very awkward (and potentially explosive) situation for which our men need to have a ready answer.The wise ones can prepare ground by saying sth like "oh baby, I couldnt help myself, I had to get condom just incase that menses thing fail to go away" (even though she knows condom or not you aint doin shi t when 'uncle Jack' is there).

This will usually serve as a useful alibi for months if not years.

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To be realistic and factual,having extramarital affairs or keeping concubines is in a real sense bad cos one can contract any of the STDs.Religiously speaking is ungodly.I think we guys should be sincere with our partners and stay out of the poo

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knowing the naija man God help the woman but you never know some people are becoming liberals to the point of selling their souls to the highest bidder.  someone is giving the husband a jeep from condoms activities on NL.

Thembi who was 19 years old when they gave her a tape recorder to make an audio diary of her struggle to live with AIDS sadly she is in her grave now. she wish she didnt believe the hype about casual sex.

http://www.radiodiaries.org/aidsdiary/story.html

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why would my husband have a comdom in his pocket, i dont see any reason for it . even if he was given he shld ve refused it or given it out to a single fellow. he doesnt ve biz with a comdom in d first place since we are not using one.  if he has  respect for me i shldnt even see it in d first place. but if i do see it then he has more than explaining to do becos the trust i ve for him starts diminishing.

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If i find condoms in his pocket, it means we are having (protected) sex tonight!!!!!!!!

Will take a shower and change into my sexiest nightwear.

Lets get it on.

y would i assume automatically that he is cheating on me?

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4give him & tell him 2 use more cd

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Oh c'mon Agatha, Lorana Bobbit? now was that a Nigerian or an African woman,how many polygamous families do you know in the US,even that extreme reaction of Lorana's,how many women have replicated it since over 16years ago that Lorana did it even in the US?

Point is that example is neither here nor there,I know of some associates who say that their wives don't really mind if they keep mistresses outside as long as they don't bring them home,and what beats me is that their wives are mostly beautiful and educated ladies.My dear things are happening that will truly shock you,just make enquiries

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Quite interesting responses to the views in the OP

Talking about the OP,it seems so many Nigerian ladies have actually given their husbands the "licence to kill" ,too bad IMO

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na only tyre?

you want to eat egusi,ogbono and bitterleaf all in one week when you have okro soup at home?

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make una wait, before una go kill me here ooh!! watin dey wrong if man pikin wan change tyre.

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i no fit shout jare. these women, una no go kill me o.

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why would women succumb to the fact that it is in d nature of men to cheat or go out sleepin around wit or witout condoms.

in my opinion, as women we should stop makin excuses for men to cheat. whats in the women outside tht he cant find in his wife at home.

the women themselves should know how to spice things up, (sexual life) in other not for their husbands to look out. its a lforever till death do

us part thing, so i suggest tht we encourage women to knock d idea of men sleepin around a natural thing off their head.

findin a condom in his pocket is a matte rof asking him dearly, babe wahere did u get this from, if he says it was for his use, then i ask him y he had to look out n nt consult me for u knw @#$%^& n then we work things out so tht it dont repeat itself again.

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a seminar?  please tell me there are not any women that silly to think that?  there is no legitimate excus for a married man/woman to have a condom. if one was given to him/her, he would politely refuse it or give it away to someone single in his office.  come on now people and wake up!  

@nezed  what westernizing?  a western woman would kill her husband for that.  have you never heard of lorana bobbit?  she cut her husbands joystick off while he was sleeping.  she isnt the only one to do that.

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I am not saying u shd be dancing and be happy.

But no need to start wahala in the house, u could try to find out what he is doing with it and then, if bad, find where things went wrong.

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pathetic is the word

If this is how most Nigerian women think then they should should scap dowries and dash out the brides for free

I am shocked

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what do you mean?

are you saying that if a woman finds condoms in her husband's posession when they don't use condoms,she should cook him ofe nsala and serve it with big bottle of odeku (stout) ?

You're not serious

what will you do if you found condoms in your wife's purse?

will you be considerate too?

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Condom or not, adultery is not good, May God help us all

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@Mrbrownjay to each his own

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kai

una no go kill me oh

hahahahahaha

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That is what made many so-called westerners' lives miserable. They think that they can undo all the evil that has become part of them as soon as they fall in love. they want to whores as long as they're yet unmarried.

They then get married and cant really enjoy marriage because their lifestyles has destroyed what they should actually enjoy. Na so dem go come dey jump from man to man and every man is evil, unloving etc by their standards

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you are on one hand supporting the right to be virgin and at same time flying flag for people who throw caution to the wind afterall they are going to marry and stop being whores. hope you get acccess to listen top this girl who never had the priviledge to marry let alone stop the lifestyle she enjoyed and tot could get away with.

http://www.radiodiaries.org/aidsdiary/story.html Thembi was 19 years old when we gave her a tape recorder to make an audio diary of her struggle to live with AIDS.

if i stretch your grace theology i should start stealing knowing God forgives and will stop when i get enough you know you are going to preach to me so let me continue stealing so you just have a convert. isnt that a nice idea? nigerians and indulgience.

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@ GEW, i don't need your forgiveness. Swallow it. Where did i rubbish virgins? Where did i say being a non-virgin should be the norm? Do couples now wed without doing HIV test first? Is sex the only way the disease can be transmitted?

I see you conveniently deleted the part about "if i had bothered to remain a virgin for 3 weeks then i would know how easy it is to do so". No matter, I forgave you long time ago.

(This makes me wonder if all virgins never gave a Mouth Gig before getting married) You obviously have never met virgins who smooched guys before getting married. I have.

(it doesn't matter as long as husband and wife remain faithful to each other while married to each other.) To me it doesn't, a lady and a guy who have turned over a new leaf will remain faithful to each other while married. Pas is past,why bring it up?

(In fact i think it is an admirable trait. If i meet a female virgin today i'll encourage her to continue that way till she get married.) I really think it is a virtue that should be encouraged but i will not condemn a non-virgin.

Correction: I never double spoke, i said in my opinion a lady being a virgin(as a criteria to marriage) doesn't matter. IN MY OPINION. I also said a virgin(wife) could make an awful wife and vice versa. Explain to me how the double speaking happened? We are talking about what makes a good wife, as far as i am concerned virginity is not the only contributing factor. A person's character also should be included but if a woman is a virgin before marriage,good!

You know what? I think i have replied you enough. Unless you can find a logical flaw in all i have written then let's part ways in peace. We have derailed this thread long enough. I bid you goodbye GEW.

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Prostitute to me are people that get paid for sexual intercourse.

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This is a good topic and i will be following it to be able to read the mind of "our' women.

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The condoms might be for you the wife for birth control. so don't be a pervert.

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