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Guys Can You Marry A Single Mum? :-\

can you guys marry a single mum, if yes, how many children is too many. And if not, why?

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72 answers

the question itself is flawed because its general instead of specific.

all guys are not the same and have different requirements of a potential partner.

some do not mind experience, others do.

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omg, guys say they cant marry a single mom but they can marry ladies that have succeeded with multipleabortions , i respect single moms and if i wer a single guy,that will be a virtue , i dont mind marrying a guy with a child, but no mother in the picture oo

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yes, there is nothing wrong with that

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Does a widow count as a single mum?

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Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!!!!!!!

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Who made her a single mother?Did she made herself a single mother? And most men are here wagging their tongues. If God had given me the permission l have been asking for l would have casterated all of u.

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Lol, and how do you hope to prevent that?

You hope to find a woman that will promise never to say that?

Lol

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i can marry a woman of 30 is just that the understanding have to be the main objective in our relationship because i wiould want her to be later saying its not my fault that shes is the one who marry me , [color=#006600][/color]

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Guys, chill a little, it is just a forum where we all share views.

Nothing personal i am sure.

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@ CHAIRCOVER that's what people with no argument do, go and take single statements and leave out the whole picture. I never said I was proud to have left my relationships. I basically said I left because I refused to subject my children to anything less than a happy family.

I never encouraged abortion, in fact I said I was against it.

I never encouraged single motherhood however I will not condom it because it can happen to anyone. Who am I to judge? Who are you to judge for that matter?

I have never praised myself for walking away from bad relationships, only stated the fact involved in my case. You have not UNCOVERED anything about me because you have never been in my life and Know no facts regarding my situation.

I still stand by the fact that you are goInga on assumption. Bottom-U-ME ing you have a handle on my life based on the limited info I posted on this board.

If you dint have time to trade words with me then why not go on about your business and STAY OUT of mine? We will obviously never agree on this and frankly I do NOT have to agree with you about my life.

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@Chaircover, God bless you.

Some people have no regards for other users of the site.

Some of these women can lead many young girls astray if no one stands up to their nonsense which they post on forums. They always expect everyone to believe that they are angels when it is clear that they have been lacking in many ways.

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Okay, so I take it every man who gets involved with you turns evil and you dump them. It has happened 3 times already so it can be concluded that this is habitual with you. . . right?

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And second of all @ CHAIRCOVER were you my husband? Did I say my vows with you? You speak with no facts about what you are saying yet you want it to be taken seriously! I did not blame either husband just stated the facts of what went on in my marriage. But let me ask you this. Do you know my inner self? Have you ever met me beyond this message board? On what factual evidence can you say that I was a "GENERAL" in my marriage? NONE!

I have never come on this board ranting and raving using bad language or degrading insults to get my point across. I always try to back up what I say with facts and common sense but here you are again trying to run your mouth about my life when you have no idea. Who is the woman here? Who is the one that has carried herself with class all the way through? And you want to use the word silly in another post because I married a man who lied to me? SO I guess no man has ever lied to you and you have never loved? I better end this here because the more I try to be civil with you the angrier I get and I refuse to stoop to YOUR level!

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Oh so the two of you find my posts in another thread and come here to talk rubbish. For both of your information my husband did NOT leave me. I left them! Get your facts straight before you go running around speaking without merit.

Neither of you know me nor were around in my life for either of my marriages, yet becuase I stood up on behalf of another poster you want to go around trying to belittle me on a message board. I work on my computer so I am able to see what is going on throughout the day but what is your exscuse? Please both of you get a life and stop trying to decode mine becuase neither of you have a clue as to what your talking about!

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I can never advise anyone I know to marry a single mum. Except in unfortunate circumstances of widowhood or the likes.

Why start your life with complications when there are enough single women around!

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I have to respond because I get so offended by these kinds of threads.

My story is this I had on child out of wedlock but was in the relationship for a long while with the man. He said he loved me and wanted us to be together for life but he started seeing other people on the side. I didn't want to put up with the behavior so I broke it off only to find out I was pregnant afterwards.

I stayed a single mom till my daughter was two years old. I met someone we dated for almost a year and we finally married. I had a son but after my son was born my husband became abusive. I did not want my children in this environment and I divorced. Again I stayed single until my son was three years old and I met someone who lived overseas through a good friend of mine and we dated for 2 years. We finally got married and had a son. My current husband turned out to be a total liar and schemer and now I am headed for divorce again.

My first husband was good at first but later started hanging with the wrong kinds of people and smoking weed and being abusive. My second husband was a liar and a con. I have not slept around. I have never had one abortion in my life and I was a good wife and mother who always tried to be supportive of my husband and am supportive of my children. I have my own business although some days its good and other days not so but I am trying and I support my children well. Everything I have goes first to them and I get for myself when I can. I am not bragging but asking everyone here that had something negative to say about single mothrs, WHAT OF MY OWN?

If I never meet anyone I am prepared for raising my children alone but why should I be condemned for being a good woman who unfortunately met not so good men. I didn't rush into marriage with them and I was not pregnant when we got married so it was not a marriage of force. But why should I still be looked down upon just because I have children. Wont their fathers go on and marry again and have relationships? If i being single the rest of my life should be my fate then shouldn't whats good for the goose be good for the gander?

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i am swart also a nigerian but leave outside nigeria i am lonly here looking for a good women or girl any one available should contact me through this swartphotos@yahoo.com any guy man that try to contact me will lost his contact thats all i know

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Mothers are responsible.

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if you love the person what's wrong with it?

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Hmm,well the way I see it what does it matter who has this or that, if you have really found that true love, then sacrifice comes into the picture. One has to be accepted with what ever they bring into the relationship. And if you don't want extra baggage then just keep moving on. Don't worry about what you might of missed out on.

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love is a real sacrifice

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i dont c anything bad in being a single parent,dis can happen to anybody so we dont av to condemn ,they need someone to luv n care for dem too

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pls i ve to run now

I ve a meeting i should be in in 10 mins time

takia ok?

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nooo

for what now?

it feels going meeting u again

ope u re pushing fine?

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@Syren

How u dey

sorry my sever went bad the last time

@topic

d personality of the girl is key here

most girls ve been tru it at one time or the other just that there is no physical evidence to it.for those that ve "kid" not "kids"I think their heart is made of gold and should be treated kindly

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if I am a man I will say others may but personally I cannot

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i can marry a single mother as long as she is not older than me,God fearing and has one child.

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@ Syren,

I ain't talking 'bout ladies that were once married, but those young ladies that never got married but had two or more children from various men. What other explanation is there to it?, it is simply tooooo bad. Whatever happened to the adage that says "Once bitten, twice shy"?

Yes, nobody is perfect, myself inclusive, but we should at least show some decency while in relationships. When you see a relationship that isn't going to work out, babe, don't force yourself into it, because it won't still work out, even with that protruding tummy.

It is we the women that bears the pain and agony of such mishaps, and that's the main reason for us to be very careful. Those that haven't fallen victims should please learn not be promiscuous and over desperate.

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You guys should realise it's almost always going to be difficult to live with another man's children as if they are yours. The children are not likely to accept you as their father if they are stubborn and intelligent; this may lead to frictions.

I cant marry a single parent. If I was a single parent, I wont have any qualms about it but I will never advise a single young man to marry a single mother because he is creating problems for himself from the beginning of his life (except if he has ulterior motives for marrying the single mother)

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I think the most important question, do I have a heart big enough to care or another mans child like my own.

Many humanbeings are egoistic and just love their children because they see their children as an extension of 0f themselves.

I think I prefer the man who says outright no I cannot to the man who says yes and then later comes to realise that he cannot cope.

i also got married to a man as a single mum and he made promises of all the love, he would show my kid, but later he never even let the kid into his house, that was a very bitter marriage and I thank god it is over.

When I got a divorce no one ever beleived that I would ever get married again, but God had another destiny for me.

I met a man and the first day we met we wanted to get married, that marriage has held over ten years. Today we have nine Kids.

WE , because he is a father to all.

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the kids always matter, many children/teenagers hate the idea of a step parent initially so they may be difficult to win over, they won't like you disciplining them aswell. But the mature ones should consider their parents happiness and be willing to cooperate.

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It wont stop HIV or other STDS though! So its not something to encourage people to take. Also its a very very high strength contraceptive pill. With the way some of these campus whores behave they will need it up to 10 times a week not good!

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if we sell this on campuses in nija, we will make good money.

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At least you are honest Karma.

I dont have a problem with someone with kids.

But we all have a right to choice.

What I cant stand is the people who lie and pretend the kids dont matter when they do!

By the way Plan B is the same as the morning after pill can be taken upto 72hours after unprotected sex.

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I so much like ur educated mind, but remember that some pple dont have access to all these you are talking about, some dont even know they exist.

We shd send u to africa to educate pple on stuff like this, i am sure we will mkae money under some UN program.

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I agree and that's exactly WHY I cant be in such a relationship.

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lets get things in their proper perspective,there are single mothers who would rather step up and be responsible for their mistakes by having the child and taking care of him or her,on the other hand like afribiz said some women/girls are naturally promiscous and will have kids for diffrent men,there s absolutely no excuse for that and any man that s looking to end up with them should be aware, there are numerous society ladies in nigeria whose main thing is to have one or two children each for rich and prominent men in the society,so i think the circumstances will tell really

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condom + pill don't fail and im not talking about that. I'm talking about after the fact

I'm talking about medication like Plan B and such which doesnt abort anything, just gives you 72hrs to make the womanly walls to thick to hold an egg, yada yada. so her having the kid doenst make her better, just makes her slow and silly.

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There is the morning after pill!

We are not talking super sperm here.

@Topic if you want to marry someone with kids you must treat the kids as your own.

If you cant do that dont bother.

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Like protected sex?

what happened if the and when the condom get bursted, or she is on a pill and yet still get pregnant, remember nothing is 100% safe.

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Couple of things a woman can do before it gets to the point that an abortion is needed. So the whole "oh she's better cos she didnt get an abortion" is silly, point is she wasted time in doing something before that point.

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That is alot more understandable compared to have kids out side of marriage with various random dudes.

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it is just sad that some women find themselves in such mess, but some cant just be blamed.

But i would rather respect a woman with multiple kids than a woman that have arbortion at the movement of the hands of clock.

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that's part of my point, they shouldn't all be seen as "loose" and "irresponsible" as someone put it. She may have done all the right things and still the marriage broke down. She was still young so she decided to give love another try but alas it didn't work out again.

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In Nigeria, that is a law that need to be in place, cos the man shdnt be walking around and not taking care of his kids, if a man is old enuf to plant the seed, he shd be old enuf to take care of the plant that comes out of it.

It makes me sick when i hear someone has been taken to court for child support, i think supporting ur child shd come naturally to the man.

Some women too need to check out the kinda man they hang around.

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It's terrible, I even understand relationships can break down beyond repair, but to make matters worse the men won't even be involved in the child's life but it's always the woman that gets the blame because she had the decency to love and look after her own children.

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So which s worse, to have the kids and look after them like a reliable and responsible mother, or to have like 5 arbortion in a year?

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To have 1 issue before marriage could be a mistake, but what will you call a lady with 2 issues b/4 marriage?And to worsen matters, the kids could be from different men. Has she not proved to be a woman of moral laxity? I can't stand such women, i see them as loose and irresponsible cheap things.

I wouldn't advise any man to marry such ladies except if they TRULY repent of such reckless lives.

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Yes of course, as long as there is mutual love there is no problem.

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