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Guys, If U Discovered One Of Ur Kids Is Illegitimate, Wud U Forgive Ur Wife?

it happens - u know women nah! some can be quite devious - a particular man i knew discovered recently that two of the four children he thought his wife had for him, were not his kids - they were children which the wife concieved after an unholy alliance with another man and in an attempt to cover her misdemeanor, chose to pass them off as her husband's children - needless to say, that was the end of the marriage - if it was you, what would you do? would you stick with a lady who has decieved you into raising another man's kids and lying to u they were yours?

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95 answers

To be very very realistic, I do not like to lie, I do not know

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but I wouldn't want to have babies with a man I don't love,

why create so much trouble for the one that I do love?

then I must be evil and want to punish the man.

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what if your husband had other children?

would you see them as part of your husband,

and therefore part of yourself,

if you really love the guy,

and want everything that belongs to him,

to belong to you?

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Am really surprised with the way some people that called their selves men in this thread replied this post. It was obvious that the infidelity of a woman is difficult to forgive. And I also know that is shameful and abomination for a woman to have intimacy out of her matrimonal home (with another man apart from her husband). In this case there are some things that are needed to be considered before cruxifying the woman.

85% of men in Nigeria today if I may say, have in one way or the other committed themselves out of matrimonal home. Also in some cases they give the lady they are dealing with money to abort the babe in order to keep pace with the wife, so which one is the greatest sin here; committing adultry or committing adultry and murder?

Please our Nigerian men am not saying that women should go ahead and have children out of matrimonal home, but I am insinuating that no body is above mistake. Sometimes we feel like turning back the time just to undo some foolish mistakes, but there is absolutely nothing we can do about it what has happend has happend.

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stop making silly post and btw u r no guy!

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Will just 4give and move on wiv our lyf.or curdle her and ask her y

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@na2day. I searchd.it has 8 defintions. Some were rude. It al depends on d 1 u used on me.

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u can google the meaning of 411

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@na2day. Funy talk. Goggle is a frnd means wat?

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@na2day,only u knws wat u mean by 411. I never posted 2exchange words wit u or any1.We're in a sinful world full of heartles beings. Jst pray it doesn't happen 2u,cos if it does then u'll knw whether am 411 or nt.

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I knw of a woman dat her first child(male) is 4m a guy he was datin b4 she got married. Til nw d husbnd nor d guy knw abt it. D child is in J.s.s 3nw and hapens 2b d only son.If d husbnd finds out wat do u tink he'l do? Chase d only son nd wife out of d house? There's an adage that says, .'Only a woman knws who got her pregnant. Jst pray it doesn't happen 2u,u migt evn end up doing notin cos it's alwyz easier said dan done.

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I knw of a woman dat her first child(male) is 4m a guy he was datin b4 she got married. Til nw d husbnd nor d guy knw abt it. D child is in J.s.s 3nw and hapens 2b d only son.If d husbnd finds out wat do u tink he'l do? Chase d only son nd wife out of d house? There's an adage that says, .'Only a woman knws who got her pregnant. Jst pray it doesn't happen 2u,u migt evn end up doing notin cos it's alwyz easier said dan done.

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A man would forgive his wife for anything but infidelity, yeah thats righ, even if he slaps his mom or tries to poison him, but d moment he finds out some1 else slept with her, the relationship ends

So if as a woman you find out a man forgave you after finding out you slept with another man, in 95% of the cases i would suggest you run away cos he;s probably waiting for an opportunity to strike where it'll hurt most

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i dont know which is most saddening as a female, the actual affair or how often it happens and goes unknown-the secret of the paternalty. lol, pretty sad.

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I will not divorce her instead I will kill her

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Truly and sincerely, I have no seed of forgiveness for such a woman. Immediately I know, I expect her to be aware that our marriage ends there instantly. I also expect the same reaction from her if she were to be in my shoes.

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"whats good for the goose is good for the gander"

if a man was dumb enough to jeopardize his family life by having unprotected intimacy with some woman and had her pregnant twice then he deserves anything that would come out of this mess and his wife has all the rights to leave his sorry a$$ if she decides to do so.

if the wifey decides to stay with him(some women are desperate like that) then she will have to accept that her husband HAS to have a relationship with these kids since he is their father unless wifey is such a heartless woman that she will ask him to choose between his family and the illegitimate children.

whatever mistake husband did should never be the reason for making the children pay/suffer for them. he may have been a lousy husband but forcing him into being an absent father is wrong in so many levels.

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its hard but it is painful,some would get hurt that is just the truth, I just have to ginger the swagger

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For those of una wey talk say "forgive", I pray make the same thing no happen to una, cos e too hard to chop. Anyway if na me, i go first tell d wife make she go enrol the bastar'd for foster home, then wish d wife goodluck for MY REVENGEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

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D marriage is over definitely, but wat happens to th child depends on wat i feel. if i love the child already, il bring him/her up and let them kno wats up wen they r of age.

at times closeness matas more than blood.

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Forgive as the Lord says. Meanwhile read this topic I posted a while back.

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-13738.0.html

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sometimes i wonder if this site shld be called nairaland or dumbpostland. Anyhow, the way majority of women are in a society, the way that society will be. if we have a bulk of love-peddlers in a society whichever way you look at it, corporate ashi, road-side ashi, etc, the society will be filled with rubbish.

Sorry to ask in my naivety, are DNA tests for real in naija? Please @poster how did the man in question get to know?

just live your life. Everything will be brought to judgement later but for now, enjoy!!!!!! If a woman likes, let her give every man on her street a baby. No sinner will go unpurnished whether u forgive her or not. Ohhh! women are supposed to be models of moral standing but they are soooo weak.

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i am a lady, let give guy space to say thier mind, but if it were to be me, i will not expose the woman but we can no longer live together

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point of correction, men who have kids out of wedlock to another woman dont lie to their wives that the kids are hers

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it happened to a man who discovered that his first son isnt his after having undergone DNA test to confirm the paternity of the son before traveling to US.The woman latter confessed but the man and the children have been so used to each other that they both agreed to stick together.

The issue is that alot is happening.one just have to 4give.talk to urself first and confirm that u have 4given her.if you can adopt the child, go ahead,if yo u cant,then let go of the child.Men too do have children out of wedlock and their wives still 4give them.so, just talk to urself and know if you can 4give or not.

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Which kain topic be dis? Did Your wife mistakenly fall on the d*** that got her pregnant?

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i will kill her instantly with the baby,

AND I CAN STILL GET FINE GIRLS RIGHT ON HERE, CHECK THE LINK BELOW

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cheating might be forgivable depending but having a child as a result of the cheating? captial NO

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What are we still talking about

Get OUT bi.tch!

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@ topic

I wouldn't want a husband who had a child with another woman. NEVER!

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What the hell for? Delete that LovePeddler from your life.

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I will be difficult to forgive and more difficult to let go the affection you may have have developed for those kids. I will rather dont want to know. BTW how many of such scenario are out there? Dont they say it is the woman that know who the father of the child is.

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what a question, i will never want to set my eyes on her, cos i may stabbed to death, cheating on, bringing bastard to my home, olohun maje

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Not in that shoe. Dont know what I'd do. But this cant be a mistake. she knew quiet well what she was doing. That is the height of deceipt. No one needs that. no matter how bad they are to you.

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Almost got married to a lady that was secretly messing around with men simply because we had a son together.

Why are most pretty gals in naija very deceptive?

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there is nothing women can not do,we just have to live with them and still can not do without them

it depends on the age of the child,if the child is between 1-2 i shall tell the woman to take him back to the father but if he is 10-12 i will let the child know i am not his real father

simple

as for the woman i did not know what to do with her

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in my time on planet earth,i've come todiscover that there's nothing new under the sun.but simply put,hat day marks the end of the road for our relationship.

@mama gee. u just dont get the gist or may be this caught you napping?LOL

@nezerst.the issue of man is a story for another day,for now face this coz there's nothing you daughters of eve can come up with.

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This a non issue to me, the marraige would surely be over once this comes out in the open.

What kind of explanation is the woman going to provide 4 her actions? she was Molested twice by the same man or different men?

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FORGIVING IS DIFF FROM FORGETTING. I can forgive her infidelity act but each time I remeber she slept with an illegitimate man to produce a VAGABONG, then I go dey VEX

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You have not forgiven, forgiveness has no limitation or alternative. For me its and end to the Marriage. QED

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I will forgive her (ATLEAST FOR TELLING ME OR FINDING OUT MYSELF) but will NEVER in my widest dream climb on such woman or leave with her fro the rest of my life

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Forget it, marriage is over! But she is forgiven.

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How can i forgive such, that's the end of the marriage and beside she should beware cause i might even kill her

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First of all i will forgive her but the marriage will peacefully end with no return, secondly i wll sit her down and discuss the future of the innocent kids.

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This is hard oooo but it do happen everyday, I have a guy whose 2 daughters were illegitimate, the guy felt the fault is his probably maybe he is incapable of impregnating a woman the first reaction was to impregnate somebody outside the marriage and moved in with the person leaving the wife and illegitimate children in his house.

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