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Housewife or Working Woman?

This post is the natural result of some posts that I have read.

Men/boys: Which do you prefer, housewife or a 9-to-5er [working woman]?

Women/girls: If you had a choice and you could stay at home with all your needs catered for, would you take such an option or opt for a job (however stressful)?

My bias would already be evident to anybody reading the post. Seun, maybe we need a vote on this one.

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working women all the way. I didnt suffer four years of university for nothing. I dont need a college education to be a wife and raise kids.What if something happens to the man and he cant work then what?

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@nenyenwato I can imagine how stressful a bank can be. I spent time there and I can tell you there are few fond memories except for missing the people I worked with.

Its even more dangerous for a young marriage. Little time to develop the intimacy they need.

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i work in a bank presently, and it seems m the only one( mother) complaining that i need anoda job or a biz that will give me control over my time and enbale me to have time for my husband and 14 month old daughter (and other kids to come .)

m always on the fone to know how my daughter is doing and anytime my helper doesnt pick up the fone i go crazy with panic ,

other women here in my office seem comfortable with the idea of leaving the house very early and coming back late, and sometimes having to work weekends .

hhmm, some have up to 3 children and they are still here !! wow

one even asked me , "how can you resign ? you want to go and be waiting on your husband at home abi ? hhmm, don't try it ooo "

it gets me confused i dont seem to understand and that s one reason m still here cos it seems m the one witjh the wrong attitude,

well, before the end of this year i m setting up my biz and resigning from this time deprivingwork that i dont even enjoy doing,

i wont be a full time house wife, i m too intelligent for that,

but i love my family too much to continue like this

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I have to work, even if it is part time. With the constant rise in the cost of living, both husband and wife should work even if one person works part time outside the home. In the event that one spouse gets laid off, the family won't find themselves on the street.

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I cannot be a housewife. It's too much work for me! Stronger women can handle it but me? -no!

Here in Canada, women get 1 year off of work (paid) to care for the children. At the end of the year, I was so tired. Returning to work was a relief.

In our country, it is also common for fathers to take several months away from work to help with newborn babies. My male workmates who opted to stay home ALL said the same thing: "Ah, it's so nice and relaxing to be back at work!"

My husband stayed home with our daughter for a week. Then he came to me and said, "Having children is SO much work. It's rewarding but too much work. I don't think we can have 6 kids afterall. I'm done." hehe, after a week!

No, I'd much rather have a career. It's so much less work and you actually get appreciation.

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May be if i tell you this story you will know what men are capable of being.

A lady got married and had two kids but the man died few years later thank God she was working and she was able to take care of her chidren without her in-laws effort.she re-married and the new husband is another thing else to the extent of stopping her from going to work which really affected her and she had to pull out of work.she had two children for this man and still she is the only one taking care of this children.

Another lady have a plan of working before her marriage but the job was not coming forth and the fiance encouraged her that they should get married that her problem will be his problem which is a good promise not long enough they were faced with the challenges of having children and through all she has to give-up her work for them to have children but all through things have been manage manage she has to beg for money so which do you now prefer?

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Quite funny most men I am sure want a working woman, yet SOME of these men will still argue the woman should do all the housework and looking after kids and them instead of them sharing the responsibilities and rights. Anyway I am happy atleast they value a woman who works, some years ago that in itself would have been an abomination. Slowly we are progressing, it can't move fast enough though!

Next stop FEMALE PRESIDENT FOR NAIJA!

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There are seasons in every relationship. No woman wants to be a full time housewife, but when the children start coming some sacrifices have to be made. Societal and cultural expectations mean that it is mostly women who stay at home at such times and the man remains the breadwinner. It's only on the rare occassion that the man does the school run and with a lot of grumbling too. My sister is a stay at home mum, although she owns a salon which she hardly goes to because of the demands of raising three young boys. I see her husband take her for granted all the time. Jobs are few and far between, so not every woman can have a career or even that family business which is the ideal situation. I see how much my sister does everyday, running up and down in Lagos traffic trying to get one or two other things going so that she can have some of her own money. Her life exhausts me and her husband comes home with a dour attitude and never appreciates anything she does. It's sad, when you are a full time housewife. Everybody takes you for granted. But that's the situation many a woman finds herself.

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God forbid me 2 be a house wife 2 any man. this problem arise from the men that are wealthy.

after passing thru the university stress and sleepess nights, a man will tell u 2 sit at home look after his kids while he work all the money.

there should be a writing agreement even b4 marriage, NO HOUSEWIFE-SHIP

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Well, as for me i want to be a part-time house-wife and a business woman ,as know matter how busy im at work i still want to have enough time to spend with my husband and kids and i definately do not want a full house-keeper,weekly cleaner is ok and thats all.

Finacially,i do not want to be in a situation where i will keep asking my husband for money whenever i need it,so i will also work hard to be finacially secured and to contribute to the family.

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Well, in my opinion, I would love to be a working class mamma but if it is a job that does not allow me to see my children and my sweet husband, I would not hesitate to kiss that job goodbye. I would not mind sacrificing my many years at primary, secondary school and my B.A Hons for my family. Life is all about making compromises.

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I bet i prefer a working woman once there enough time for her to help run the family smothly.

Also extra income might be needed wen things goes tough economically, u neva can tell

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Well it depends; she mustn’t be a full time house wife. She has to be engaged in something; not just sitting at home all day. A woman who sits home 24 / 7 isn’t the ideal product for a wife.

I love and cherish hard working women; not lazy ones.

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Leilah, aint saying ur husband is a king in your kingdom, however, he is living it, cos there is nothing wrong in the man helping out, he could be looking after the kids while u cooking, or washing the dishes while you cooking and the kids are telling u some nice story.

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Leilah, u only have to deal with teh husband and the kids and school and cooking, nigerian woman has to deal with all that and as well as the in-laws and at same time her own parents, i am not saying you not trying, all i am saying is that, it aint easy and i think most of the brodas are starting to come around and respect what the ladies are doing and even helping big time.

Poster: I still blv that either a stay home Mom or wife or going to a 9 - 5pm job, it is all not easy, cos staying home with kids is not easy, it is boring, it will drive the woman crazy, i think it is easier to go to work than staying home with kids, changing dem diapers, feeding them and all that. so we need to give cridt to dem ladies.

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A working woman who hastn't lost her housewife characteristics would be appropriate

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workin mom is beta,that way the mind wont be idle.

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tufia kwa, chei, house wife ke? puhleeeeeeeeeeeese

being a house wife doesnt make the woman a lesser being.

i mean being a house wife is a full time job and no mean fit.

i hear some guys saying working woman and house wife, u go help for house work so.

abi u think is easy. she goes to work and comes home to continue working

u as a man comes back from work and sits in front of the tv watching football.

anyway as for me i dont mind being a hse wife as long as there is plenty dosh to spend. hse wife is a job

too and he will pay me salary. i keep myself busy spending his cash, tending our kids and making the hse a home,

a haven.

boredom is not an issue. chekena

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@davidylan

You are generalising. If you prefer a working woman it doesn\t mean anyone that does not is a slave driver in disguise.

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I dont like the idea myself but will prefer to have a biz of mine own, so as to take proper care of my children.

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If  I have enough "kush" I would be down with my wife staying at home and en-joyyy. The sole reason for people allowing their wives to work is to assist in the upkeep of the home. So it depends largely on your ability to shoulder the home's responsibilities.

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She can pursue her dreams to any extent as long as it does not affect the family. I think I prefer the stance of the ladies who will give up their jobs for thier families. Even as a man I would do the same. In the past thrfour years I have resigned my job twice and I am ready to do so again. Family means a lot to me.

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so wait all my the assignments,reading and hustling to make good degree,would be to just come and sit at home all in the name of being a house wife.i cant even think of myself being a house wife.if my husband dosen't want me working for anyone then i would have my own business.and i also don't like the idea of working under someone.i want to be the managing director and chairman of my company than working and answering to anyone.

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@ diyobdw, I agree with your definition. African Men Keep their homes and provide for their wives and children. This include putting a roof over their head, clothing them, feeding them, paying for their children school fees, buy and fuel her car etc.

Any man that can't do any of the above is not fit to be a Man (He is a loser). I will never allow my wife to contribute to things like house rent, feeding, children school fees,. She can buy the children clothes if she wants to, but that it is not her job.

I don't see the reason why both of us should be working full-time, when I am capable of taking care of the whole family.

My wife will work in the family business (if she wants to work). This will give her the flexibility to be a good mother & good house-wife. I no agree with this working woman S**T.

My uncles wife is a chemical engineer but she works in the family business and she is happy.

So all the girls that wants to work 9-5, marriage I repeat is not by force.

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What you defination of african man?Real men keep thier homes. Enslaving your wife would only make her wild or boring either way you lose.

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All you ladies should remember that it is not by force to get married o. But it you choose to get married, you've got to respect and submit to your husband.

My wife has to submit to me O. I am African, and it is what I said will happen in my house. if the woman no agree with me, she can pack her load and go back to her fathers house. No be by force!!

I've sisters, and my sisters will do what their husbands ask them to do.

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I can never be an House wife.Housewife?NO .then y did i spend many years schooling from primary,secondary to a Tertiary Institutions?I cant dump my Certificate under the bed just cos am married.I dont like the idea of an house wife.I will love to be a working lady,though working and taking care of my family

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inafrica they are,

but i think in europ the men are women works,

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You mean, the husband locks her in the house so nobody can get in or out without his key?

Unless they have children she has to take care of, the housewife is the one with more opportunity to cheat.

The man must work, if he slacks off too much (due to other activities) he'd get fired and then have to explain what happened.

The wife can clean up, once the guy is off to work, she can have her man-toys come over or goto their place, enjoy herself, and return home to have dinner ready.

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None. but if u check, it would be difficult 4 a housewife 2 b unfaithful. on d other hand if '9-5' Decides 2 play outside runs, u are finished,

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i wld like 2 be working whn im married

i dnt wnt any man bluffing on me n al dat poo!!!!!

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hmmmmmmmmm, I think is simple. The reality is our family is the most important factor.

My wife works from home - home office (jclord said that) 'cos we r still giving birth. I had struggled to get her

a laptop. She can start designing Websites and making money. We form our company, she manage it

while she play around with our 15month old lovely daughter. She needs her most @ the moment.

By the time, they reach school-age, our business becomes 'full blown', We'll run an SME. Ofcourse, she's very enterprising,

she can live to her full potentials.

As for me, I also share 'quality time' with them in my tight shedules @ work.

We all need to guide the falimy unit system jealously to avoid the problem they have in the West, hope I made a little sense, my humble opinion

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Staying home with you children is best. When they are old enough to go to school working from a home office or part-time is best.

When you don't have children it is easy to say you will hire a nanny but when you become a nurturing mom you want to protect your children from strangers who may not always have their best interest at heart. In the US alot of baby sitters have been caught on camera abusing the children in their care.

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A little bit of both.

I.B.

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For me I'd rather be a housewife if we can live very comfortably with one income. At the moment my kids are 2 and 4, I leave the home at 6:30am and not back until 5:30pm. In this time another person woke my kids up, fed them, took them to nursery....basically all I should be doing . Yes I have the evenings and weekend but at this stage in their lives I should be contributing more into their lives, speaking to them once or twice on the phone during the day is not really it. Yes I have the degree, several qualifications, years of experience as a computer "guru", but I will give it all up in a heartbeat if I can.

Apart from the kids there is the time for my hubby as well. He will want to cuddle up , I will want to as well but I am thinking the time that I should be reading/painting/singing or whatever with the kids so my heart is divided.

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@ snazzy,if im to choose btw my family n my job,well my family is gonna come first tho but im not in d position 2 choose now,so in dat case,i will be a working woman.Tho i will rely on my hussy but dat doesn't stop me 4rm being a working woman.Hell,no.Wot if my hussy is not around,so u expect me to be waiting for him before me n my kids can eat.God 4bid.

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I THINK IT IS GOOD FOR WOMAN TO WORK,VERY VERY GOOD

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"Why can't you depend on your man financially? That, i think is pride.

Remember, men want to be in charge! If you wont allow your man to spend on you, he will spend on an outsider - which would you rather prefer?"

How is it wrong if you are too proud to be dependent on someone financially?  If you look at Nigerian movies, women that make more than their husbands are often depicted as cold and controlling women who don't respect their husbands, but no one ever considers that there are plenty of men who act the same way when they are the ones bringing in the money.  Is it ok for men to behave that way while the wives feel needy and inadequate?  The men reason it's their money so they call the shots, and why would I want to be asking my husband for money as if he's my father when I'm equally capable of making my own money to spend?  Why would I go to school for all these years, finish and get my MD, and then sit at home and let my parents' money and my dreams go to waste?  Not to mention all the money I have to pay back when I graduate medical school.  For the man's ego?  And if my man would spend his money on an outsider because I want to work and don't pretend to be dependent and needy, then he's not worth marrying to me.  I also want to be around my children, and I will but not for the man's preference or ego.  And does that mean I'm going to be at home all day every day until my kids grow up?  No, I'm still going to work, and my husband will know that in the very beginning.

For anyone that wants to be a housewife, that's fine, but that should be a personal choice, not one imposed upon women.

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abiiii!!!!!na true sef

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come to fink of it..a housewife is also a working woman.

@snazzydawn, why wld u choose if u can have both?

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ok jez,what if you were supposed to choose between your family and your job?

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@ alheri...My point exactly.what's the use holding on to a job when your family is suffering your absence?Whats the use making too much money with no one to enjoy it with?I have said it,I will say it again.if my job is making me not to be a good wife and a good mother,to hell with that job...God gave me a brain,I can still do something even as a "housewife"...

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I would rather be a career house wife than be a career working woman. As a wife and mother, your loyalties should lie with your family and not your company. If I have to compromise than my job will have to go. I nearly gave up my job in december last year but for my husbands intervention. I felt it was taking too much of my time cause I had to work even on sundays sometimes. I felt I wasnt giving my husband and kids enough time. I was becoming a stranger to my baby and I was loosing the sparks with my husband. I was too tired to do my chores well and I wasnt taking good care of myself. I wanted to resign. I felt It wasnt worth losing my family over. My husband advised me to stay a while and talk to my boss about all my concerns, which I did. He has hired someone else to share the work load with me. Honestly, I wouldnt have blinked twice about leaving my job for my family. My husband and kids are my everything. I cant loose them over no career. Its just not worth it as far as am concerned.

IMO

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They say you cannot serve two masters equally well and this is one instance where it might be true.

I believe the most important job I will ever do is that of being a mother. I am very sure in Xyears I will not be lying on my deathbed and wishing I had worked a few more hours or expanded my business kingdom a bit more.

It really depends on what is important to you personally. For me, I have found from experience (tried being a stay at home mum) that I also need to have my career but I have have also got my priorities in order of whats important to me.

And when I finish a full day at work and get home, its like the real job has just begun!

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point here but hw many dey do?

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being a housewife doesn't mean you will be idle.There are a 1001 things to do while at home...it's all about being creative...

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I am a working woman and will always strive to work hard to support my family.U know what, idleness is a disease.

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