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How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding?

How can a woman understand his husband after the wedding?

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47 answers

After d wedding, get ready 4 any poo from d husband. Na so.

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both you and your wife should be able to understand your self because u both went into courtship before marriage which means that good communication is vital , listening to each other and having good time together with the family help each one to understand his/her limitations and weakness .visit www.practicaltips-foryou.blogspot.com.

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so let me guess, u will become a monster after u get married, right? thnx 4 the heads up

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The rule is simple. Limit resources to your wife to avoid her despising others and men too don't chase little flowers out there. Ask your wife for whatever new tricks you want and instead splash out what you would spend on concubines on her. It balances the equation.!!

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If you figure it out, i'll be the first to buy your book Grin

hahaha. its that complicated.

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true but then again, people tend to change alot after marriage.

they become someone else. . . Most cases, MONSTERS!

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A husband is just like a boyfriend the only thing is you cant part easy. I am one so i know what it takes. Keep ur wife well dear man!

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out of desperation some ladies no go wan hear, I DO, I DO b4 u know wetin dey happen water don pass garri

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endurance na d last bstop 4 marriage since d , line has being signed. though with patience and tolerance u can learn to understanding ur husband but e go take time

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Quite inappropriate question?  How about this?

How can a Man Understand his Wife After the Wedding?  This is how it should be, ok!

It's all too well to put pressure on women in marriage on how to understand their husbands/inlaws (African culture). What about men? What's wrong in them understanding their wives after the wedding, too?  It seems to me that this question applies to those off the shelf marriages - where BOY met GIRL in the street and got her married the next day without proper courtship thus, not knowing or understanding each other very well before jumping in with their HEADS. 

Modern marriages that worth it's GOLD do not operate this way at all. 

To start with, you've got to date each other for months if not years before plunging in, and there is no need in doing that HARD work after the wedding because it had already been done.

To that question I say it goes both ways, ok!  So, stop piling pressure on women to behave in fact, it's men that need that behaving not women because we understand our positions and roles.

Trouble starts when men ego gets the better of them and their controlling and abusing behaviours suddenly emerge that some of us would not condone, that's when katakata don come in the marriage and thus,the woman is labeled 'A  BAD WIFE'.

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this is on point!. . .

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Courtship is a period of deception where each partner puts up a facade in order to impress the other thereby masking the true fact that they're just humans.

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I concur, I see it as a game of luck (or if you're religious, a game of blessing); whichever way, no one can really predict the outcome of it. It's definately not meant for boys and girls, it's a game for men and women.

However, the more time spent together (under the same roof) during courtship, will teach how to understand and bear with love with the other half. The only thing is that, in our culture, people aren't "normally suppose" to live together for long before marriage/engagement. But in most part of the west, it's an intricate aspect of life where a boy and girl move in together and then spend quality years to understand each other before taking it to another level of committment - marriage. Once done, there is no looking back. Moreover, the only way out is divorce, and funny enough, that's very rampant in the west than south.

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Marriage is not meant for boys and girls

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oh no u didn't! if a guy does that next thing u know the girls will open thread on NL about how stingy or broke azz the guy is

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Na woa am planning to marry my babe towards the end of this year. And although she's a nice person i hardly spent time with her so i can't say i really know her that well.

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dont believe that period, i have way too many examples to show u

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You can if you are very deligent during courtship. Love is blind marriage is an eye opener

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Don't just focus on the times when you asked and (s)he gave or yielded to your requests. Focus more on how (s)he deals with her/his siblings, how (s)he treats the waiter at the restaurant, the conductor/stranger in the bus and even her/his subordinates, colleagues and boss at work. If (s)he shows respect to them, (s)he will repsect you. If (s)he treats them with comtempt, it will be your turn one day when the love tan goes off your skin. How does (s)he behave when (s)he is angry? Take good note because it will be your turn one day. How does (s)he relate with people that you know that (s)he knows that you know that (s)he can't stand i.e. people (s)he hates? He will have a tendency to treat you like that in her/his down moments. Take good hints when he comments on movies or news items. Relax and study him well enough to know his philosophy about life.

good talk. this is a very good and kind word.

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Actually, I believe it should be the other way round (90% pre, 10% post). What are you doing getting married with only a 10% understanding of your spouse?

@chaicover

I feel your responses the most on this thread. Makes a whole lotta sense

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A succesful marriage is 10% pre and 90% post, ie what you do during courtship and after the wedding. most partners show love to each other when they are still dating, only to grow cold to each other after the ceremony.Women,you need to see your husband as your son whose excesses you will condone, no matter how gross.

Men,the Bible says that 'hell has no fury as a woman scorned'. Learn to respect and love your wife.

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Marriage is a life time affair, and life is an ungoing thing. human beings undergo changes. "life will be absolutely meaningless if there were no room for changes". But what is important is the direction of the change, is it for possitive or negative?. If a woman marries a man that was smoking before the marriage, and after wards decides to stop smoking, that ofcourse is towards possitive. But if she marries a man that wasn't a drunk b4, but changes to become one, that is negative.

The woman also undergoes some changes, most of the time the changes are meant to make both of them blend well. There are some characters that will not be reveal in a man except he passes through fire (pressure, hardship, difficulties etc). That is also applicable in a woman. Ones real character is known when he passes through "fire". Maybe during the courtship some issues that will manifest during marriage did not come up, the woman may not know the mans reaction to such issues. It is therefore advisable to strive to know each other as much as u can during the courtship, but also expect some reactions which might not manifest during courtship period, then make some adjustments towards a lasting marriage. The truth is there is no perfect marriage, but you can make yours as comfortable as u want, by simple adjustment, understanding, patience, and tolerance.

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Hmmm, Choices we make huh

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We often misuse that valuable irreplaceable time called courtship. Courtship is not a time to know how good our spouse will be in bed.

Don't just focus on the times when you asked and (s)he gave or yielded to your requests. Focus more on how (s)he deals with her/his siblings, how (s)he treats the waiter at the restaurant, the conductor/stranger in the bus and even her/his subordinates, colleagues and boss at work. If (s)he shows respect to them, (s)he will repsect you. If (s)he treats them with comtempt, it will be your turn one day when the love tan goes off your skin. How does (s)he behave when (s)he is angry? Take good note because it will be your turn one day. How does (s)he relate with people that you know that (s)he knows that you know that (s)he can't stand i.e. people (s)he hates? He will have a tendency to treat you like that in her/his down moments. Take good hints when he comments on movies or news items. Relax and study him well enough to know his philosophy about life.

Of course, poo does happen, but when it does, there is a kind of confidence that comes when you know that you have done your due diligence.

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sorry to disappoint you but

you not always be loved and appreciated

all your bad and annoying behaviors will have to

be tolerated. no one wants to "love" and "cherish" you

when you are being a pain in the Bottom. you want her to be able to

tolerate!

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that's true. I concur

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Look at it this way:

During courtship or when you guys are in a 'relationship', if a girl tells her bf she doesn't like a thing for example, say she doesn't like him using a certain type of perfume, truth is, the guy will stop using it immediately! After their wedding, if she says such a thing again, the guy will probably not even care. It is now down to the woman to begin to accept such changes. Most marriages in Nigeria are down to this leel of tolerance and its a big problem.

For me, I can only say that the responsibility here is in the hands of the woman. Women have got so much power but one should be careful on how she uses the power. When you don't like a thing your bf does for instance, instead of asking him to stop it, a better approach will be to understand why he does it in the first place. If you can do this and if you eventually understand why, and you still think he needs to stop it, then talk to him about it and don't just let him get away with 'ok, Il stop it', rather, let him also understand why you want him to stop it. It can be hard work for some but thisprocess of learning and unlearning will help you a lot in a relationship. In my case for instance, Im a bit of an introvert (surprising? considering my lengthy posts in NL, lwkm), so I don't like getting into arguements. If miss X tells me she doesn't like a thing, I tell her the truth on why I do it and if its something I can stop, Il tell her Il try, if its something I don't want to stop, Il tell her same. Whichever way, she knows I won't hurt her. Now, when we eventually get married, she wont find it difficult in understanding some of my actions or inactions.

A man once told me that the first arguement he had with his wife was about toothpastes. She didnt like him pressing the thing from the middle. lol, Marriage WILL bring such squables, it boils down to communication and this aspect should have been well oiled during courtship.

For ladies in a relationship now looking to marriage, don't try to accept all he does or enforce on him all you want (both extremes), rather, develop some level of communication, to understand each other and more importantly, love each other.

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I am not sure it is possible anymore.

Even if possible, too late to change anything, so make dem just enjoy

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Yup. its possible. but what the hell where they doing before the wedding. except na arrangee wedding

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Understanding ur partner, starts 4rm d first day of the relationship.Anytin u condone in dating continues after weding.so 4 the d attitude dat wil com up after mariage,u both try 2 iron it out or learn to live wit it because marriage is mearnt to be ENJOYED AND NOT ENDURED.So wateva u dnt understnd during dating and courship, accept it 4 life nd not hope it wil get beta after weding.

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I believe b4 knoting the nuptical tie, SHE would have understand him perfectly before saying the 2nd YES.

Be that as it may, a woman can only understand her husband more after wedding. This is possible by:

studying him vividly on how he handles situations in the family as events unfold, ,

how he reacts to emergency matters,, etc

she can now say "I know what my husband can do". She can even act on his behalf knowing him fully well.

Again for the benefits of doubt in first paragraph above, you need to take a personal course (study) on how to study human being and their reactions towards events.

Pls lay your hand on this book (Why are we so different by TIM Lahaye). It helps a lot in understanding human beings.

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True love really tolerates,when there is no true love little thing becomes irritating. God tolerates us,if not every little sin committed would have been meted out with unbearable sanctions.

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It goes both ways, it might be fault from either husband or wife. Many girls out there don't how there true colors until you get marry to them. Majority of the things they tolerate before will become a taboo once you married them. On husband's side, he might be a tightwad or womanizer, all this stuff might be obvious to fiancée during courting; but she doesn't have choices other than lean with it.

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I will hate to be tolerated, but to be loved and be appreciated.

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Human Being is the most unpredictable creature. Dont try to understand him, be tolerant ,and be prayerful.

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this is not an excuse to cohabit

either.

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exactly.

this is true if both partners haven't lived with each other before marriage.

Living with someone for 24 hrs is a different thing.

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wedding is a process, not a destination.

I doubt you can know everything there is to know about a person before marrying them.

Though of course you should know or find out his/her basic character at least.

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Tell them oh, how the chaircover will be removed and they will now see the real color of the chair.

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After wedding, no more understanding, it is now reality.

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Well now. . .before the wedding he was a boyfriend/suitor. . . after he is a husband

no way about it just like a girlfriend is diff from a wife/mother, so boyfriend is also diff from a husband/father

life, i guess

if some of us could see our folks back in the days when they were carefree . . .

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she didnt she married a FAKE husband

some ppl can pretyend during courtship just to get the cat in the bag and then start unleashing their triue colours - bythen it is too late for her and she has no choice but to understand no TOLERATE him (because she no get options)

soon they start saying ' he's not teh man i married' yes he is, he was just hiding that side of him all along

ppl make una dey shine well well and encourage your partners to be as open and as free with you as possible - even the best actors make mistakes and once you pick these up you will start having an inkling into the real person you are about to comit to

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its funny how some of y'all say that

there are ppl i know that they 'behave different towards a bf / gf because they are Not yet a spouse'

the minute they marry - expectations change / soar and all of a suddent the person you thought you knew is now a stranger and you have to start from scratch to understand or TOLERATE should i say (because now you aint got much choice) him

just pray that your bf/gf is showing your their true colours during dating or courtship. and if you are going to marry taht person spend as much time as possible with them in their natural habitat (their home) and see how he likes things done - 90% of behaviour / attiitude is unspoken and starts with thoughts and then actions - read inbetween the lines, ask questions and see whether the answers are just for your ears or theya re for real

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My thinking exactly!

@Poster;  The question of understanding after the wedding no longer has value, she has to learn to accept and tolerate.  She should have understood him before siging the dotted lines!

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How did she understand him before the marriage?

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