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How Do I Go About Divorce?

I am American married a Nigerian in registry ceremony in Nigeria. Never had a ceremony in U. S. Do I need to go thru the trouble of divorcing him in Nigeria or can I just go on with my life?

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I am so sorry You in that bad situation to, my husband told me that he divorced me but he never send papers so I know he lied about it, you can file for divorce here in the US but lawyers are very expensive or go to the courthouse and get papers for it, its less expensive,

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I was married in 2003 in the united states (i am american my husband is nigerian), he was not able to return back to the states when he left to go home due to his papers. last year (2011) he remarried how do i go about getting a divorce from him legally with out im around because since i threatened him last october to tell his parents to pay for the divorce i can not get in contact with him. I want it done as soon as possible.

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Thank You i have already notified the authoryties.

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Just talk to your lawyer in the US

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Hey, babe! Who ever you are please, stop preaching! You don't change people unless they want to be changed, ok! Therefore, you can't shape a man to your taste - i.e what you want them to be.  They are not children, please! This attitude is what kept women in bondage from men.  We are always expected to play this good wifery thing - to forgive and forget! No, to change behaviour you've got to react against it and do the opposite! This preaching doesn't wash on modern women!

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Hi, lost girl, marriage is marriage, and whatever you do , believe me, you are going to give account to God one day, some day. Why do you want to divorce him, can't you settle the case between the 2 of you? Moving on with your life, do you know the lifestyle of the man you're going to meet later in the future? All men are the same, there is no ideal man, all of them are the same, you will be the one to help your husband out and shape him to your own taste. Have you forgotten the primary pirpose why you were made, to help the man that comes to your life i.e the man that proposed to you in marriage. Please do not divorce him. God hates divorce, he said, "I hate putting away." May God give you guidiance and provide light on your paths in Jesus name, amen.

Najayi.

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Posa! u talk as if u know this lady or rather, the man (husband).

Lostgirl, please do the right thing. Make sure u divorce him b4 getting involve in another marriage;  in other not to complicate issues. Good luck 2 u.

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Posa! u talk as if u know this lady or rather, the man (husband).

Lostgirl, please do the right thing. Make sure u divorce him b4 getting involve in another marriage; in other not to complicate issues. Good luck 2 u.

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@mamaput

mamaput how bodi. . .long time no yarn

i no know say u still dey visit these parts,me i just come back like 1months ago

how ya daughters dey now. . .

make sure say u send them come naija come marry

u know say na black dey reign now,afterall look obama

anyhow. . .i dey hail

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Then, you shd be happy.

Just move on and be happy.

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No no kids, thank God not. I have two daughters from my first marriage. Father died when they were little.

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Just hang in there.

Do u guy have kids together?

If you do, for the best of the kids, you guys need to find a common ground, at least for the sake of that child.

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Yes very serious. Nobody really believes my story. Story is listed under "please help". I don't want him back. All i want get this fraudsder in jail wher he belongs. I moved on but he took all my money and as i said its BIGAMY! He is under the name Obodoman attacking me here on Nairaland telling a bunch of lies.

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^^^ That is very serious.

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Hey i am in a similar situation. Ive gotten married to a guy from Lagos. We actually did get married in the Uk where I first met him. I am in a very big mess. I realized too late that he is a scammer. He has a criminal record in the Uk for false passport. I found out that he lived in Germany to. He only married me coz of my money. He has profiles on lots of social websites with false age and addresses . Awhile ago he send me an email claiming that he divorced me and saying that he's married with kid. wo weeks ago i received another email he threathened me To Molest me and my daughter when he is coming over in december to the US. By the way I am originally from Germany and still a citizen there but live in the US with my kids. This is a big mess and I've trying to get him convicted of fraud and bigamy. He is still in Lagos and trying to do anything to get out of this situation.

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Wow!! 

Very nice of you Becomerich!

Thanks for such a sweet melody!

And how creative a man, you are.

Can't stop singing and humming it

ever since I set my eyes on it.

Once again, thanks and God bless!

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Theblessed here is my song for you.

Don moen --- God would make a way.

God will make a way

Where there seems to be no way

He works in ways we cannot see

He will make a way for me

He will be my guide

Hold me closely to His side

With love and strength

For each new day

He will make a way

He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness

He'll lead me

And rivers in the desert will I see

Heaven and earth will fade

But His Word will still remain

He will do something new today

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Thebless , if you marry someone in nigeria and run away abroad. Immigration may consider it a fraud. it is a 20 year jail term.

20 years, read it again in canada. Look the period where nigerian come and run away have gone. Immigration now knows that they dump thier citizen and get here to make false claim. You are consider a scam.  While dont you go to prison to see the numbers of nigeria serving prison term.  When you leave your partner before you become citizen they most like would hold on to your paper, they want to find out if you would commit a crime. Your time of getting your papers takes long. if others got thier citizen within a short period. They would hold on to yours and wait till you commit a crime. some wait  several years before they approve your citizenship. They send  information to the police for them to send a copy of your profile before granting you citizen. The police send thier opinion to them .

I was at JFK many year ago and I got delay  by the immigration because they wanted to verify an information. And I saw one arab man chain who was about to be deported. He just finished serving his prison term for immigration fraud, that is what he told me.

if you can marry your husband in Nigeria, dont look at the one in america. It is not worth it. It takes on the average about 5 to 7 years to get immigration paper and about another 1 to 2 years to file for the paper. That is 7 years of your life. Dont you want to wait 7 years for one man. who must have first married a woman before he got his papers. And there is no guarantee to immigration. It is like bingo.

even with paper, I know the hell I suffered. Not to talk of someone who have married someone before.

The immigration service keep a good profile of you. Go and ask Detriot immigration service about me. You can ask pastor james fadele, he would remember when I use to come to his detriot church. then he was the pastor of winner chapel. I mean the head of redeemed church in USA.

I know the hell I go thru. And I had to go to the church 3 times a week from canada.  And the same officer I saw yestersday, and I may know him very very well. would still give me trouble.  If I am going back, and may be see him on the job, he would tell me, I am only doing my job. hope no heart feeling.

I have more than enough experience with immigration, that i can write you a book. They have a system that keep ever record of your in and out. They know if you are married or not. If you lie to them. they know.

it is even more difficult if you have been married before. It is like passing thru hell.  It give them a red signal that something is wrong. And they would do DNA and other tests.

You see the other nigerian you talk about, they dont tell you the truth. Thier wife may be living illegal in the USA. more than 80% of the time. You do not want to live illegal anywhere in the world.

If you want to married a person who live abroad. You can find out if he is married abroad or ever married aboard. Go to the USA embassy and ask, if you can prove to them , you are about to get married to him. they may tell you. If the man was married over here. divorce is not that easy, if the other person want to give you problem. It could take you ,

In short to be honest with you do not marry from Nigeria. The person you want to marry in nigeria are mostly 419 that what our experience show us. If you know you want to live here, open your heart and whoever God bring to you.

nigerian here most of them na 419 and Odu. Even when you go to nigerian church, that is the worst.

Your chances of finding a good wife or husband is with those who are born here. But those people who cross over from italy, holland, germany etc,  Olodu , i mean 419.

Look I have been a christain from childhood, and I say loud , I would most likely not close my eyes to most pastors abroad when they are praying. if you doubt me, if anyone is online verify in unilorin, i use go to the UCU, university of Ilorin christain union graduating book, they would find my picture and name. Or you go to the deeper life in Gbagada, many years ago. You can make a request, you would find my name on those student pastor kumuyi use to teach.

what am i telling stay away from trouble, this is how jail looks like. .   Men do not bend down to pick soap in USA jail. go find out the meaning. 

You see this pictures, pick your jail number. stay away from trouble.

If you stay away from nigerian abroad, trouble would stay away from you.  When they pick them up, they would pick you too. They never want to go back to nigeria alone. They start count and listing member. Your name may be among.

Yorubas would say, a man from a good home do not walk about in the middle of the night. 

pick your jail  number 21 or 22 or 23 or 24 or 25.

Me,  gege  ni omo eko lo.

[img]http://www.houstoncriminallawjournal.com/uploads/image/Houston,%20Harris%20County%20Jail(1).jpg[/img]

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why is it dat dis days,the only tin pple think of when it comes to nigerians is SCAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Der is a possibilty dat the felo was attracted to her at first gut tired of de chick nd went on with his life,pls ooh everytn isnt abt Fraud wen its NIAJA.

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From the story, the marriage is fraudulent to start with.  If by arriving in Nigeria and you were asked to marry him then, it is a forced marriage hence, conducted under Duress. Therefore, can not stand in any court of law and no courts will validate it. You have good grounds to annul the silly marriage and the reasons are:  A) you are a visitor - visiting for 1million times if you like, it does not matter.  B) Obviously, you visa to Nigeria did not say 'Travelling for marriage' as to show intentions of getting married, did it? C) you don't know anyone in the country and have no relatives there and if you do, so what? D) We hope you did not pay for the marriage and if you did so what? You are forced to and would do any thing you're asked to do in such circumstances and in a foreign country where you have no no one for support.  So the bastard can go to hell! Just get a good Lawyer and terminate the baggar marriage! 

You see, people don't visit Nigeria to get married any how.  There is nothing wrong in visiting someone you met either Online, physically or by communicating with them in any form/shape or various means/mode e.g. email/text msgs/letters/pictures etc and whether on a short/long term or off/on basis. Communicating with someone you fancy is not a crime and there is a difference between fancying some and falling in-love with the person therefore, there is some thing wrong in being forced into a marriage you'd no intention or plans for and certainly don't love the guy.  So, no HELL WILL FORCE YOU TO BE IN MARRIAGE YOU HAVE NO LOVE IN, period. 

Please, ensure you terminate the silly thing and put the schemer to shame!

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Thank you for your reply.

[b][/b][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][color=#990000][/color]To all that have replied or are about to reply, the original poster of this thread is no longer involved here. i have made my decisions and considered all opinions and left the conversation. Thank you

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I usually do not comment on Romance and family section but this thread caught my attention from the first page.

I kind of Agree with Posakosa to some extent.  My advice for you is to move on with your life. The cost of going through a divorce contracted under dubious conditions (deceit) will drain you emotionally and financially. Also you should avoid going to a Nigerian court or going to Nigeria for whatever purpose, because even the simplest task is time consuming and fraught with loopholes and obstacles.

I understand the views of people who say you should get divorced legally to forestall future problems, but i insist the probability is very slim. Because i am sure, he also has a lot of issues more serious and implicating than yours, like; if  he has not gotten a green card yet ( which is very unlikely), he would still be an illegal immigrant, also he might have been married before, which would make his marriage to you null and void ab initio   ( i love those legal terms). Also if he had not been married before, he would need to get married sooner or later, either for real or for green card, so it is more in his interest for his episode with you to die quietly.

Unless you intend to run for office in the future, i doubt you have anything to worry about.

Let me add: There are lots of hardworking Nigerian men out there, but it is unfortunate you got involved with one of the few desperate ones, seeking to use any one and any method to survive. I do not want you to have the impression that all Nigerians Men are scammers. Lots of American girls have married Nigerian men and they are happier for it. My advice is to use your head next time you decide to marry, whether Nigerian, a fellow American or an Afghan.

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Many of your here are missing my point. I have never stated that ALL WEDDINGS AND MARRIAGES IN NIGERIA ARE NOT LEGAL.

You should take the time to read the posters other posts; then u'll get my drift as to why I conclude that she doesn't need to waste her time getting a divorce------

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Are you sure your marriage has been irretrievably broken down? If you are sure in your heart of hearts then, get a Barrister in Nigeria and serve him his divorce papers.  But be ready, the fight is gonna be lengthy and cost you some Naira as Nigerian Laws do not support quickie divorces (but no skin pain if you can afford it and as long as you find happiness in the end). Another thing to consider, Nigerian men are not averse to women divorcing them because, it has always been a culture where the men leave or divorces the women and the women are left 'holding the baby'. Remember, Nigerian men "EGO's" are higher than Mount Everest - Don't you ever forget that! And now, you are divorcing him - EGO has now been dented and he is like a wounded lion so be careful! Keep him, his family and friends at a distance if I were you. As a foreigner, focus on your Barristers, your good friends and pray that God find you a man that truely loves you.  Good luck!

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Wedding in Nigeria is Legal so stop the argument.

@ posakosa

You need to know more details before falling on conclusion.

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@posakosa

you really need some kitten. try to release some stress bro.

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I knew I went to Law school for a reason. Pls move on with your life and don't look back. The stars are bright. Be well ~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

This posakosa guy is really a clown. A so called "Lawyer" without brains. I am sorry for anyone that would hire him to represent them in Court. His Nigerian birth certificate is also not valid or recognized in the United States according to his theory.

Woman wrapper like him wey you no fit trust with him friends wife. (reason he wants the men to be reported to immigration and FBI, so that he can take over their women). That's why he went to Nigeria to import a village bride.

silly Dam

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@ posakosa and Cvibe.

I didnt travel to Naija to get married. Was the last thing on my mind. All that marriage jazz happened later. Haven't you ever wanted to go somewhere you have never been before?

Posakosa you are such a knowitall. But you really don't have a clue. At least not about my past relationship. Stop making assumptions.

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It is a criminal case over here. He could end up in jail.

what you do is inform citizen and immigration. You may have a green card, but you would never get citizen. As long as immigration knows what had happen. They would hold on to the file for a long time. even if he tries to file a sponsorship for a person. they would never allow it.

I know some people who were sponsored  . even a nigerian 10 years after he has no resident. His file is on hold. his son is already 10 years.

If you report it to immigration. They would put the information on his files. And when he tries to sponsor someone into the USA or within the USA. They would refuse. I know someone in the USA for the last 16 years , he has problem.

If you want to marry, marry for real. Nigerian are criminal.  You want cheat abi, then get ready for jail,

Now they can track you. even they can bud your phone to find out who is telling a lie.

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Lostgirl, do not listen to the likes of POSAKOSA. He is the type that would talk down on others when he doesnt have the opportunity but will do more than those he criticizes if he has the chance. What a sore loser he is.

You sure had fun while it lasted no doubt, but poo happens like they say.

Go to Las Vegas and get an instant divorce or an uncontested divorce to free yourself.

www.legalzoom.com can help or www.wethepeople.com, if you cannot afford an Attorney.

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This answers her question. No need to engage in dialogue with you.

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@ Poster, but why did you accept and agree to fly all the way to Nija to come and marry him?  Just curious!

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2 option, 1. open case with immigration. this way they have it on record. he can never file or use immigration service or trick others again. immigration would not allow him to bring a new wife into the USA or anybody if they have a record. if you have strong prove , even after green card, he can be deported. if immigration have it on a file, he can never use the immigration to trick people.2.you may refuse to divorce, if he get married sue. it is a crime and he would be in jail

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@posakosa

are you ok? why u keep insisting the marriage is sham even after u were told the marriage was registered in Nigeria? did Nigeria marriage registry write sham across the marriage document? US govt takes bigamy very serious, u may think u r helping lostgirl to move on but u are only preparing a way for her to get nabbed by US authorities.

@lostgirl

pay no attention to that posakosa. as long as u r still married to the Nigerian man u can not marry anyone in US unless u legally file for divorce. the man may have married u for green card purposes but the marriage was still legally registered and u need to legally divorce him first before u can marry another man. you really do not want to take chances on this, moving on and re-marrying without divorce from previous marriage is taking chances and u may not like the outcome so, your best option is file for divorce. it's funny how u keep agreeing with posakosa's take on this when every other poster is telling u otherwise. anyway, your life your choice, do what u gotta do and be prepared for any consequences.

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Get a lawyer girl and get a proper advise,don't listen to some of these clowns in here telling you it was never a proper marriage,it is.

you've probably filled out several papers identifying yourself as married, you need a divorce paper to prove that you're no longer married, when the need to show such proof arises.

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@ Poster,

Divorce is necessary because the marriage is recognized even by the US embassy once it's conducted at Ikoyi registry.

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I knew I went to Law school for a reason. Pls move on with ur life and don't look back. The stars are bright. Be well ~

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@ posakosa. Told me in most cases it is not necessary. Only if something there is done to mess it up and even then I would not have to be in contact with him only with an attorney there.

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I think the OP has all the advices she needs. Its left for her to select one and work with, QED.

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I really did appreciate your replies posakosa. but sometimes you have to take people at their word and not assume that they are beating around the bush or hiding something.

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@ Posakosa. i didnt single you out as the culprit. Hurt and anger go hand in hand. I don't have a reason to lie about anything. No one here knows me. I am starting to believe you have nothing better to do then judge people By their posts here.  I was angry because I had been lied too. I wanted to know exactly what I asked. THE TRUTH. I got what I wanted and I moved on. But you seem to take pleasure in reading something into a situation that is not there.

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Sorry But I only felt BAD for you.

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I didn't take it to a different level. BASED ON YOUR OTHER THREAD. It shows YOU ARE HURTING. Don't Lie, HE HURT YOU.  I have met many women like yourselves. Sorry you got played. Next time, u'll be wiser. At least you don't have any children.

If u're NOT hurting why would you be seeking closure.

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=13194.msg4823314#msg4823314

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=344742.msg4825598#msg4825598

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Thanks that you have enjoyed reading my other posts. Im sorry for being soo crude, but I often hear too many stories of American women being exploited by Nigerian men all because these men want the green card. If you want it soo bad, simply and merely make it a business transaction. <this guarantees the most successful transaction>

Don't think u're smarter than everyone else and play on people emotions or feelings. By telling them you love them, getting them pregnant, or marrying them.   ITS EVIL. Hence, I have NO SYMPATHY for men who do that.

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@ gshyne i was not making it difficult. i posed a simple question on whether or not a divorce was necessary and otheres took it to a whole different level.

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You'd better get it legally done right here so there ar eno twisted knots in future, you never can tell - do a nice clean divorce in the Nigerian Courts.

Cheers.

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to all of you who have responded, I visited an attorney yesterday just as I said I would.  These threads and forums are for opinions and friendly advice. They are not to be taken seriously

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Y this so called posakosa just turn himself to supreme court. u just keep on goin on bout their marriage been sham as if u dey there wit em or sabi the husband in question. U ve made ur point. it COULD be a sham wedding but you really are in no position to pass such judgement. Lost girl didnt claim she was paid. In the states where i assume u re dont marriages fail for other reasons? i ve read thru d post and nothing constructive has come from u on this particular post tho i ve enjoyed reading ur other posts n comments. lets others give opinion too rather than try enforce ur unfounded belief on us. Sorry lost girl i agree wit posakosa but only you know wat really went wrong wit ur marriage. lostgirl i ll advice u go thru divorce proceedings in the states or better still turn to a solicitor for advice this case is no way near as complex as u make out.

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