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How Do You Treat Your Maid?

hi guys

i just spent the most horrible week of my life as a maid

trust me, its not something you want to experience

makes me wonder if all maids are treated d same way or if its just my boss that is cruel

so, how do u treat ur maids?

,

some pple actually think i'm impersonating

how thick is that?

somebody actually suggests i might be looking for ways to hear pple's view so that i will know how to treat my maid

that's also not true

i did spent a week as a maid,

the boss is my sister's mentor, she told her she needed someone to stay with her cos all her kids are abroad and she's lonely and blah blah blah

i tot staying with her will be like a dream come true, i'll be able to get access to things i dont have access to at home

but no, it's exactly d opposite

she has 3 maids already{so i dont get the lonely part} and treats us like poo

and concerning my education and computer literacy, i was a teacher but i wrote in my resignation letter d day my sis told me of the so called "opportunity"

i'm a college of education student, year 3, mathematics, so ,

i hope that answers all your questions and speculation

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62 answers

Hi,

If u dnt mind a contract job in one of the country's new generation banks, u can mail me on bjbouky@yahoo.com

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i stay at lagos

mainland

and i'm desperate for a job now

i got the teaching job after staying at a pay phone center after i left sch

i've never been unemployed so i'm really worried abt it

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hey, are u a lawyer?

if u are not, then i'll advise u to go read law or something

i cant start answering pple questions so i decided to modify so that evrybody can read it

is something wrong with that?

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i treat mine wit the the utmost s*xual satisfaction, and u knw wat? , she so luvs it, charity they say begins frm ur f*cking home, no sleepin on bike,

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people also read the modified first post (like you did) and draw conclusions based on that.

However, no need to split hairs over her modifications, since not having a modify button at all doesnt solve any problem. It was removed once and that didnt sit well.

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Its better to modify it saves you explaining and explaining especially to people reading just the first post. Some people read the first post and reply, they dont go through the entire pages so they make replies based on what they read on the first post

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that's quite possible. She could also have clarified herself in a separate post but to each his own.

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@tpaih, maybe she added that so people could get a clearer picture of the story because of the kind of comments being posted. I do that sometimes, i post and read through my post and i see some mistakes and details i forgot to add and i modify my post

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@ bolded

she added all that after reading people's comments.

She modified her initial post.

I'm not interested in beating this topic to death, but a mechanic with an established business can employ a mech.eng graduate. It also benefits the graduate because he learns the practical aspects of his profession. There's always been a debate about how much practical exposure engineering students get while in university as compared to HND hlders who have a years IT or OJT.

Perspective is important. My dad once complained about a fresh mech eng degree holder who couldnt fix his (my dad's) car. The job had to be done by an ordinary mechanic with many years experience.

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@Tpiah, if you read her post corectly you will see that she took the maid job as a temproray thing because her sister told her that she would learn and grow by working for this woman. Things are really bad in Nigeria now, some mechanics now employ graduates of Mechanical Engineering

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Doubting thomases read well before you post. She said she is a year three student iof a college of Education. I know of Gradutes who are working as maids, my neighbors maid is a graduate she is paid N15,000/ Month

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Paying a "maid" N54000 which is about half the average monthly salary of a well paid medical officer in Nigeria, sounds rather far fetched, but I'll take your word for it.

lets assume then, that there are different categories of maids in Nigeria. The vast majority do NOT get the kind of monthly renumeration you're talking about here. Most times they get a stipend, and the employer promises to either put them through school or sign them up to learn a trade.

MOST Nigerian maids do not speak American English. A quick scan through Nairaland alone shows an astounding number of Nigerians who struggle with regular English, talkless suddenly developing an American lingo and casually saying things like "Hi guys" not to mention logging on the web to discuss their latest experiences as ONGOING maids.

Former maids I can understand- they may have struggled through school, gotten themselves educated and can use a computer. But most people wouldnt expect them to remain maids at that stage.

The vast majority of househelps in Nigeria are underpriviledged and have few rights. No legal protection either. They complain about their employers, their employers complain about them- its a vicious cycle.

Here's an overall picture:

95% of Nigerian househelps (not housekeepers) do NOT enjoy such amenities.  Many sleep on the bare floor, eat leftovers and are second class citizens in general. Many of them are aware of their status and as such, feel little incentive to conform and be a "good " servant. Not to mention the psychological trauma some went through- coming from a dirt poor home and possibly trafficked as well.

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Rather than complaining, you can simply send her packing.

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This is a response to Tpia's request

I pay my housekeeper N54000 (fifty four K) per month plus medical insurance contributions, pension contributions, modern en suite bedroom in the guest wing with AC, kitchen equip ed with fridge and hotplate. I do not provide food

But what do I get from this lady.      ,  She barges into our conversations husband and I or my friends and I)'  she can"t cook plantain in little oil, according to her it must only be deepfried, (or else she burns them pitch black) she can't  pound yam, she can't iron, she talks back. And she lied during interview that she could cook and iron. I do all the cooking but once in a while I want to eat local food. (am not Nigerian)

I taught her all that she knows so far like cleaning, serving, ironing (she still struggles though)etc etc

You may ask why do I keep her,  she is the fourth in two years and she is with me for three weeks so far.  I think I pay well and derserved better service dont you think   

We are only three in my family.

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Anyone, who has questioned this poor girls status based on her level of grammar and access to d internet will sure maltreat their maid. because u 'll never encourage that. Gbam ! From experience.

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I can’t guarantee instant employment. But let me see what I can do ummmm….

where are u located?

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i can get a decent job that wont pay well

if i can get a better paying job, i will gladly take it

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For ur info maids are in high demand for now. . so don’t put urself out . .i know folks who wud pay u well for your services and treat u with all decency

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Why did you become a maid? You sound educated and you could get a more decent job.

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i left their after a week, now i'm unemployed and happy abt it

looking for a job now,

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@

poster

Are u still a maid?

And why haven’t you left ur post if it’s that bad

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their's no way i can play with her computer cos she lock the door and go out with her key

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I m well accustomed to having maids in the house while growing up so I can categorically tell you I ve seem them all. The good, the bad and the ugly. .  They come in all shapes and sizes. .they aren’t identical so don’t be apt in jumping to conclusion

The net could be a pinch of salt to some . . I ain’t surprise after all I ve seem some intelligent one's

But in actual fact some maids can be full of mischief and horrible too.   As someone wud say they are necessary evils

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maybe how much do you pay your maid would be a more befitting thread title.

Maid in the Nigerian context is different from the current western one.

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I believe we treat her just like any other member of our family and she feels the same as I’ve overheard her on the phone telling her folks back home too. We all party and dine in/out together except my husband and I want to spend time alone together. She’s also encouraged to go out with friends from school at weekends so she doesn’t miss out.

I share the household chores with her as I don’t think it’s right for my husband to join in whilst we have help. She also goes to school at weekend and evenings when I’m home from work. We’ve had people tell us we are over-indulging her especially visitors from Nig but until she proves herself unworthy, it’s worked for us for about a year now since she came to our home. It’s not always honky dory but she’s about the same age as my youngest brother and patience can be a virtue when dealing with someone of that age but I remind myself that I’ve been through it all too.

The only problem I seem to have now is that my 20 month old daughter is starting to prefer her sometimes when she’s upset to me; now that does seriously bother me.

Joe

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Dont have one, but if i do, will treat him or her like a family

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Ask me oh?

Its just dosent fit in the Nigeria for HHs to be enlightened. Infact I'm sure the poster play with her bosses system when they are not around.

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how many Nigerian househelps do you know who are literate, can access the computer, and still remain househelps?

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Instead of getting oversensitive and telling lies about the plight of housemaids in Nigeria, count on your fingers the number of househelps you know who have the ability to write like the OP.

You know ONE housemaid who "had the same rights as you the children", therefore the countless other maids who are in dire situations, must be ignored. Not to mention the fact that if your housemaid were interviewed privately, would he confirm what you're saying here. I also know a couple of househelps who went on to higher institutions- does that mean every single servant in the country did the same. The majority of househelps do NOT get these priviledges and you know it.

In Nigeria, the mere fact that you're a housemaid already places you in a lower class than the family you're serving. In a country with such a high poverty level, what does that mean for the majority of househelps in the country.

If you feel people's comments about a housemaid not being likely to have such a good command of American English as well as having an email account and access to a computer, is condescending, then that's your prerogative.

Personally, what I find more condescending is your insistence that househelps in Nigeria are a happy bunch with "condescending" people like me only out to make them dissatisfied with their lot in life.

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Most peeps have the erroneous notion that maids aren’t literates. . Don’t be deceived some are fortunate to be schooled and are actually in a class of their own

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We tend to forget how devilish some of this maids could be.

One deliberately blinded a neighbours child's eye with a fork recently, for no just cause.

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Thanks coolfaced8 .

Her nanny spends more time with her than I do during the week and yes I get home extremely tired as I’m pregnant but we spend about 2.5hrs together on working days (didn’t realise it was that little until I thought about it now). We spend all the weekend together including her sleeping with us.

It’s just upsetting to see your child going to someone else when they are hurt though it makes me feel better leaving her in the nanny’s care. Also can’t help feeling she’ll prefer her nanny even more when the baby comes. I’ll just have to try harder. I am looking forward to stopping work soon and spending more quality time with her everyday.

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Nigeria is almost like USA where maids now have email account, browse facebook and nairaland. This is real growth

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all those people talking about naija dis,naija dat, abeg make we hear word jare, houshelps havent shown you guys before

I dont advocate cruelty of any kind,be it to humans or animals, people shud be treated with as much regard as they deserve

I have had helps who if i didnt send them away,i wud probably hav killed them,one even almost burnt down my house, then one went behind back and started chasing my husband's brother,let me not even start wit the one that was stealing and telling neighbours poo about me, yet all these helps

i have being civil to and treated like members of my family, taken shopping and everything, wat do u guys say about that?

I have one now,that is good, she's good wit my baby and very helpful around the house, and sshe already told me she doesnt want to leave,infact her uncle came to take her,and she said she wasnt going to runaway if he didnt leave her with me,

the reason why some people behave the way they do to thier help is because of the experience they've had,even that is no excuse but all the same nothing is ever straight in this world,

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oboy, why u come dey open my yansh like this na?

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when we were growing up, we had a maid who had as much rights as us the children. he went to school . . . . . a good school, and university.

i know a few familiies who did this too. abeg, make we stop all these rubbish.

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I No go call anybody hypocrite oooooo

But abeg, this maid are humans like us.

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For those who think maids do not have access to the computer,I have one at home though will not call her maid cos she looks after my lovely boy,if she is happy my boy is happy and that is what I want,my wife teach her computer in the study when she is free,she sleeps in the same room with my boy enjoying AC/DVD/Home movies and also my boy's baby TV channel,did I mention am living in naija.

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I pay the kids less becaause I don't work them as many hours and I don't ask them to do as strenuous work as adults. Also, when I work kids, I usually work more than 1 child at a time.

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Why would you pay them a lower rate? In lieu of a movie ticket? Is that what they want? Stick to your advice and pay those kids what you would be paying adults.

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Ummmm, nowhere in the post did the OP say she was in Nigeria. In the US you can see all kinds of people working as maids. It can be very lucrative. I had a client with a daughter who was pusuing a master's degree. They were very wealthy but for some reason the girl deceided to work and started her own maid company. She hired herself out to clean houses and I am sure her house was nicer than any she cleaned. My great grandmother was a college professor in Mississippi in the 1930s but when the family moved, she could only work as a maid. Maids should be treated as you would want to be treated. A househoold can only benefit from a well treated, well educated workforce. I dont have a maid but hire ppl when needed. I pay $50-$75 for 4 or 5 hours of work. I feed them and help them do the work. If they are kids, I may take them to a movie and pay a lower rate.

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all people are saying is, if her English and computer skills are this good, she wouldnt be a maid right now. In Nigeria.

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I can only say this. I do not BELIEVE that the person that posted this is really a maid. I believe its just someone trying to find out how she should treat her maid. This impersonation should stop.

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I think the respondents are curious as to why she is complaining of being treated cruelly by her bosses at home, yet has access to a computer terminal. Those two certainly dont go hand in hand.

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That Is, I tire. . . . .

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Imagine. Those who are saying "Maids should be treated as human" are still the same people asking how come she is educated and has access to a computer. Perhaps you guys think maids for real are subhuman. Stop trying to paint others bad when you aren't good yourself.

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I think it is different depending on the household. We treated our maids like family. When we moved to Canada we even brought our maid with us and my mum processed her papers for her and sent her to school to learn English. She is now married to one Naija car dealer and has a son and is doing pretty well. Some people treat their maids like slaves and that is just unfortunate. Our ex-maid, though illiterate, is one of the wisest and most beautiful personalities i've ever met. During my juvenile years the talks she used to give me sunk in more than the lectures from my parents. She's like a sister to me.

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Poster may be role-playing but it doesn't relly matter. Subject is thought provoking.

We are no different than maids. We are only opportuned and priviledged to have the type of background and upbringing we possess and this should not make us demi-gods. (some people are self- made but they also had some sought of opportunities and favours which they made use of) However lets all remeber that maids are human beings and when we 'employ' them its because we need their services.

They provide personal service like child tending, cooking, washing and cleaning. Services upon which our lives hinge on. Should we treat them wickedly, we're only putting our lives and those of our families at risk. Ever heard of an HIV maid using same tooth brush with the kids and infecting the kids? Probably, she had no tooth brush or the kids brushes we better than hers and she wanted to have a feel of a good brush? - just imaginations - but it could happen!

Treat them like human beings and see it as a service to humanity and to someone who is disadvantaged. Rewards may come only come from God who sees and knows your intentions, and who knows, you may even get our reward on earth!

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why do some of you have this achaic image/thought of maids?

some oga's and madam's make it compulsory for their maids to go to school and be able to use computers. this i can testify to.

anyways,

i personally wont need a maid. i do not subscribe to it.

if madam insists then we'll only have one that comes over for a couple of hours and goes.

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i never really lived with a maid all my life (family members filled their vacancies) until i got married and had a child.

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