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How Much Allowance Does A Wife/Woman Need?

How much is Ideal for a husband to give to his wife as allowance? How often should it be?

Of course it has to be based on the income of the man. But for a man earning 50k-60k per month, what do you suggest?

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85 answers

Why should she be given an allowance when she has a job?

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It depends how much the family income is?and the size of the family

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Cooldave, I have no reason to come on here and lie. I don't see the point, since i'm not trying to impress anyone. What I wrote is what I mean, so i'm not sure what scientific research you've done to conclude that "Ladies like me do this and that". I think having (financial) independence is important and healthy for a relationship. I also believe there's much respect in working to earn your keep, which is why I stated the issue of respect. I started working at 15 and ever since I have always worked. Yes, my parents still offered to give me the allowances, but it was optional and since I had a job, I didn't need to rely on it. I would also help pay for some of the household bills every now and then. I understood how this relieved some of the financial burdens from them and also noticed that my parents treated me differently. Like an individual who has matured and knows how to make responsible decisions in spending the money she worked for. That feeling is priceless, I tell you. And it is something I've learned to see as normal. It's not just a characteristics of male, as you seem to be trying to turn this issue into, but more of a human thing. Working hard and being self reliable is something many people respect regardless of gender.

You seem to think this is a personal attack on you or your wife, but I don't see why or how. We are not all zombies. but people from different backgrounds and experiences, therefore we are bound to have different opinions.

WHAT I THINK YOU FIND OFFENSIVE: is my statement on the issue of control.

I do believe that marriage and courtship is different than that of a parent and child. Of course there are wonderful men who do not abuse their position as the financial provider, but unless you believe every man in the world is perfect, I don't see why you should find what I wrote offensive because the reality is that financial security IS a way that some people use to trap and control their partner and it has been done (though sometimes unintentionally). I am not saying everyone does this, but it happens. If for some reason your marriage begins to turn sour, maybe there's mental or physical abuse or what not,  it is very hard for the person who is relying on allowances to leave that marriage when they don't have financial security. Their only option is to suffer and smile. I was not implying that this is the case with you and your wife, by no means, so I'm not sure why it is you find my post offensive.

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@Nia, You did say its hard for you to expect your husband to treat you with respect when you get money from him,tell me,that is ,if you are married already,does your husband give you money or not and if you are not married,Im sure you are just making some fuss about the whole issue,ladies like you end up getting much more from your guy when you get married.

50/50 huh,thats a laugh--I find it difficult to believe you Nia.

Do take care of the nice guy though-He has good intentions

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Thanx to you all for your wonderful and unbiased contributions---Different views,war of words(babe1,mamaput and diddy),its so wonderful having various posts and people sharing different opinions,well,I believe this has to do with the couples--whatever their decisions and resolutions are has got  to be respected.one man's food they say is another man's,you know what!

one fact is this,and I think u guys should understand that when a man gives allowance to a lady,it doesn't in anyway mean he regards the lady as his worker or something---I think this is the worm of inferiority complex that eats and gnaws at the wombs of so many ladies,you decide to give them allowance,they term it to be --"Hey beware of the muscle-man"--he wants to be your lord,bla bla bla.

Eve in the garden of Eden then had every right to do whatever she wants and she didnt feel that Adam was a bully.Ladies with inferiority complex should check themselves else they'll have stomach ulcer--not proven yet! Come to think of it,they are the one clamouring for equal right for the women folk--what a misconception!Just live your life and the guy would respect you,that is ,if you treat him passionately--men's secret.

Back to the Topic---@babe1,I feel you--go on and be good to your family.

@diddy,you sure would not hit with brick wall with your lady if both of you have an understanding.

@mamaput--I don't have any doubt about your knowledge of mamaputs in Nigeria and abroad--ones field/talent makes way for him--keep it up.

@sister having problem with brother over allowance,I think you have watch your decision about men,your relationship with your brother would have a significant effect on your marital life if you allow a single man's behaviour dictate your global view on men--That would be wrong.

@Everyone,thanks for your contribution.

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@ diddy

Have u heard of nannies that do all sort of sexual activities with babies?

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Well in germany i can open a normal account for my kids at age 12. Only they cannot overdraw the account.The banks are just trying to gain new costumers Early . They believe the younger they arethe more they likely they will stay with them.

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Money gives you power. As long as you're having to look to someone else to give you money to take care of yourself, you do not fully have control over your life. They control you. Everyone should strive to work hard and bring in their own money. I am definitely for 50/50 on this issue. IMO, It's hard for me to expect my husband to treat me with proper respect while i'm still asking him for allowances.

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nahh, u are the weakest link. wonder the type of brain you have. she is distracting ppl with all the pics she is posting everywhere. common sense didnt allow u to think of it like dat.

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i hope u know some opinions might sound silly sometimes.

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You know what, i apologise for wasting my ink on you, after reading this i have concluded that you are a hater.You are the weakest LINK. Goodbye.

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dondele duh, different states am sure differents strokes, my nieces and nephews have has accounts(savings) since they were babies with their parents on there. My niece tried to open a checking account in TX at 17bcause she was going off to college and needed her own checking account t but they wont let her till she turned 18 and she just did. This is with chase bank. I utter out of experience my friend. Dont tell me what you think is right when i was there. geez. What did u say? parents or guardian. Did you even understand what i wrote in the first place? i dont think so. check yourself b4 you wreck yourself.Get it right please. Like i said the topic was not about brother and sister but husband and wife. There is a reason while this is a forum, she can come up with her own brother and sister allowance topic i think. Sometimes people shy away from whats on the table and i for one , i have a right to my opinion,and do not find that interesting.

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I don't understand all the arms up in the air about a husband giving a wife "allowance" in the modern century?  What's wrong with that?  I think it is a show of responsibility for a husband to give a wife "allowance" whther or not she is working, and whether or not she is financially dependent on him.  That's why he is the husband -- he is meant to provide for the family,including the wife.

The way my fiancee and I have planned our finances,  his money is for the upkeep of the family. His money goes in an account to which I also have access.  In our spending budget, we include an "allowance" for my personal upkeep that is given to me at the beginning of the year for t the entire year.  This amount is separate from any amount spent on the family, or for food or for children (we don't have kids yet though).  The "allowance" is solely for me (i.e, shopping, going to the spa, manicure,pedicure, hair salon, etc).  In addition, we have a joint credit card -- we both have a copy of the card.  The card is used for family expenses -- i.e, food, furniture, anything for the home goes on the card.  We have an agreement on what we can each spend on the card independently.  We consult each other for large purchase items.  Every month, he pays off the card from the account.

My fiancee is the higher earner. But I work and earn a high income as well -- but that's my money.  My fiancee does not ask after it, and does not ask me to contribute from it. I keep that money in my own separate account. It's my choice to work and my decision what to do with my money. As a (future)wife, it is not my responsibility to provide financially. So if i choose to work, it should not affect my husband's duty to provide financially for the home and to provide financially for me - whether in the form of allowance or not.

   

So naturally I save my salary(after deducting some additional spenging money).  I'm planning that when we buy a home soon, I'll surprise my fiancee and put down the downpayment from my personal account. 

Even though he provides financially for my needs, my fiancee can't act like a God over me, because he knows that i am quite capable of supporting a household on my own. So, giving a wife money for her personal upkeep is not necessarily degrading- it depends on the understanding the couple has.

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yeah you have a point, it all depends on how we are looking at it.

if he doesn't give you, the money has to go somewhere.

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hellow people, am cool with my man giving me allowance even though am working coz if he doesnt he will have enough to give the chicks out there. dont get me wrong i will do my part as a woman but my monthly allowance he must sure

surely give me. Dammyglow am in full surport of what you said

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the man should be willing to give as much as he can afford to

and the woman should be willing to manage as much or little as she is given

it also depends on their agreement.

they should sit down and list the needs of the family,

and how best they can both manage to get their needs fulfilled

as for those dating , girls should not depend on guys

until they are married, if the guy is willing fine

if not dont ask for money as if your life depend on it

girls should learn to be independent

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@CHRISTEL

in as much as you are all cute and stuff, i believe you have painted this site with your picture, we have seen you, you are beautiful, now can u stop posting the pics and post without seeking notice? thanks.

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Okay first of all, ALLOWANCE Ke? For wife?? Okay now that's 'slow(?)'.

Anyways, personally, since im not planning on going to a man's house to depend on his money, i don't think i'd need an 'allowance'.

But in a marriage tho, i think the husband And wife should both decide on monthly expenses. of course the man would most deffinitely pay more to the expenses. cos he's the husband.

I DON'T PLAN on having MY account Joint with my husband's. That's a silly idea according to my dictionary. Now, i can have a joint account for the family, but i'll still most deffinitely have MY own Account.

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I do not understand in germany i can open an account for my kids at age 12.

and a savings account at age 0.

Her brother should have been giving her a fixed amount montly or weekly so that she could have known at least the minimum she could have reckoned with,

She will never be greatfull to her brother, My brother tried that stuff am 42 now and amnot greatfull to him for it.

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God forbid I find myself in a situation where allowance is brought up in a conversation. Get a J-O-B.

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"ALLOWANCE?" sounds like shes just home and working for the guy. Apart form the fact that she shld get a job, it is a man's duty as the husband to help her out. Plus, they shld look at what they have and how much they psned on a monthly basis and decide on how much they'll need. it shld be a "JOINT" thing not a man decideing how much to give his wife or the wife saying "u can only give me 10,000 or more not less" and stuff like that.

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It all depends, plus the question is too general,

People tend to forget easily that USA is just another part of the world, what goes on here doesn't

necessary have to be the norm or standard elsewhere. People instinctively re-acted negatively to the

word "allowance" just like some "modern women" cringe when they hear the word "submissive".

Personally, I think you have to consider the household commitments - bills, food, transportation, rent,

housing, children's expenses, etc. and who is paying for what. Is the man paying for everything and is

allowance in this regard referring to how much to give the wife for personal expenses? Or is allowance

supposed to be the amount given to the wife to handle all the household expenditures plus her upkeep?

Is wife earning any income?

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@ topic

It depends on that particular husband and wife. (Because they have their own unique situation)

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Well i have said it depends on the Man and woman.

I had a joint accout my mum and dad too. But i will not do it again.

If i marry again let the man if he wants give me access to his account but joint account no please. because at the end of the day its not only the money you get but also the depts

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Well it depends but few good women dont mind what their husband drops for the upkeep at home as long as there is LOVE. For some men they may give up to 10k for a month and some as low as 5k. If there is a project that they both know about, ther would be a better inderstanding.

But women dont mind u give them d 50k patapata!

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50 to 60k is less dan $1000 a month. and its is monthly not bi-weekly or weekly.

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how much is 50-60k sef in dollars and is this a month? tenik

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Hmmm. for a guy earning 50k-60k he should still be single and if not , the wife should not collect a dime coz she has to be working too so every1 bears their father,s name till the guy is capable of sometin really worth the wife.

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Oh brother, diddy its all good.

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Not really, since all fingers r not equal but they can sure try.

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how the hell im i contradicting myself. go and read meaning into what i said if u dont get it, ask questions and stop making silly remarks.

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Diddy stop contradicting urself biko, let it be.

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you dont expect every man to think like your hubby do you?

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Please let it go jo mamaput, life goes on

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this statement was not really necessary. my money is my money and my wives money is her own. my money is also her own but with a comma. anything i give her is hers. if she wants more she can take.

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@mamaput

what i want, is different from what she wants. i am not selfish. all im trying to say is i wont let what i want, get in the way of what she wants. i will always compormise. if she starts having kids and changes her mind about working, i am ok with that. after all marriage is all about compromising.

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i believe that when i was saying all the stuff i was saying here, i was speaking for myself and not for everyman so dont DUH!! me cuzz i was saying my own.

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First you wrote you will not marry lazy stay home wife then you wrote you will not mind if she wants to stay home, then you wrote again but you do not think  she will want to stay home,

You want 4 kids and the mum will mind them till they start school at age 2 or so

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Mamaput if you're single , run from guys like diddy o , their money is their money and urs is theirs too. oga  ooo, oga di kwa egwu. diddy gi si ike o.

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Duh diddy thats not my point, 4get it jare. you mind is set on ur one way traffic , follow it . it is ur life not mine. Thank God i have a hubby. All i can wish u is the best.

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did u see what i told mamaput above or u just want to talk?

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Oh pulez diddy. let nanny raise ur kids now. when they r grown some maybe but not that tender age when they should be bonding with their parents. mine wont see nanny or no day care till they start prek which is at 4 or 5yrs old

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babe1

why do u want to manage the money together huh? are u finding it difficult managing your own huh?

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yeah basically. well, what can i do? if it gets too much, i tell her to stay at home and give her access to my account then. anything to make her happy.

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Thanks o mamaput, the bottom line is most nigerian men dont have trust in their wives, if u do we wont even be talking about giving a woman allowance , thats bull. maybe the days of our parents yes no doubt but not now. If u guys want us to work why cant we manage the money together? huh?.

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Just do not for get.

well if your wife is going to have your kids at say 2 years intervals she is going to be a stay home mum for like 8 years.

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well, what can i say? no one is going to pick a young guy as a cook. a mature woman. wonder why i will yell at someone handling my food.

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