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How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage?

how does a guy ask his girlfriend's parents/father for her hand in marriage?

So men on the forum who are married, how did you ask her parents/father for their daughter?  A friend will be asking his girlfriend's dad soon and he needs some ideas.  Her parents are Nigerian and they live in Lagos.

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29 answers

Ok. Its not really a difficult task if ur girl has agreed to marry u.

This was what happened in my own case. We agreed to settle down as husband and wife. She informed her mum abt me, then during one festive period she invited me over. I went there with my friend, we had a nice time together- as in eating and drinking. There was not much talk during that visit.

Some months later, I asked her to inform her parent that am coming to meet them. So I informed my sister and cousin of my intention and asked them to accompany me to go and seee her parents. I bought drink and the journey was set. They were ready for us, we got there and we were well received. The dad asked us what was our mission for visiting, my cousin was my spokesperson, stood up and did all the talking and introduction. After all, the dad asked me some specific questions which I provided accurate answers without trying to impress him unnecessarily.

Right there, the parents approved of our relationship. The next that followed was marriage planning. Now we are happily married.

So, I didn't have to go back and forth like some people have gone through. As a matter of fact, my wife parents are a blessing to me.

So op, there is no big deal abt it if their daughter has agreed to settle down with you, also if u are responsible young man, u will surely find favour before ur would-be inlaws. Pls don't lie abt what u are not ohhhhh.

Remain blessed.

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You plan a day and tell their daughter to tell you are going to visit them, So when you visit let them know that you have to seek for their permission for their daughters hand in marriage , and wait for their response, while you are going to visit mind the way you dress because it may cost you a lot,

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To ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage, you need to pass through elders. its hard to do it alone. Ask them to help you out.

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there is no statement in asking girlfriend hand in marriage, so far u like the girl, ask for God in prayer if it is true love sent from above, then talk to her, give her some time for also to pray about it, if she concur, then you can now go to her parent and tel them about your relationship

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I need courage, am going to see my in-law this weekend and am kind of afraid, one cos I don't have a good job for now and have not got an apartment for now, and we intend to marry this year.

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if you are a responsible person.just be yourself.

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Guys & Lady's in d room, I thank the originator of this platform where issues are raised and answers are given. I share the same problem with some malefolks out there. My girlfrnd wants me to meet her parents becos age she say is not on her side and I just graduated from skool nd I have younger ones who look up to me for assistance and she understands. But the issue is that I can't take that step cos my dad is against it becos she is not Igbo by tribe. so please room do advice

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Um, don't think that's strictly true. Those in the South-west do it, too.

First, the guy has to propose to the girl & then if she accepts, she tells her mum or closest female relative who then breaks the news to the dad, or head of the family.

Usually, some kind of investigations are conducted into the guy's background, before the girl's family finally gives their approval. A day is set & the guy is asked to bring his family to formally ask for the girl's hand in marriage, in an informal introduction, jocularly tagged "knowing me-knowing you', in the native language.

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How about the girl ask the guy's parents for his hand in marriage? Afterall, what is good for the goose, is good for the gander. Yeah, pay your way to the village of the guy, talk to the father of the guy that you are interested in becoming the spouse of their son and that you were seeking permission. Afterall, in most cases, women are the ones desperate to get hitched, so why cant they just take the bulls by its horn?

Y'all see my point?

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dont ask ur girl's parents. ask her. because the parents can Bleep it up 4 u.

thats my opinion.

do u and let me know the results.

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I think if you are really down for the intromimo, you take a confident and trusted friend along so that you have enough confidence when speaking and I know evry other thing will fall in place if the girl truly loves you

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im not going to meet her parents for marriage, just a formallity, they need to see what i look like. thats all

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Asking for ur girlfrd's hand in marriage frm her parents is only common in d eastern part of nig..Since it is an agreement btw u n ur g/frd dt u love each other, ur g/frd shd b d one to tell her parents.U'll then be asked to come n meet them not dt u'll go str8 to her parents n start tellin them u love their daughter.So i think it isnt a hard thing to do.

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Timmy, common, what do u mean you dont know yourself, you already described yourself, this is who you are; before now was just feeling a liitle bit inferior about the relationship(Not anymore),you are in a relationship with a girl who is very beautiful, fresh and well kept.

You use to be a normal lagos boy working round the streets of lagos looking for a company to design a website or fixing a bad HDD to buying a new motherboard for a client.

You once Just decided to keep away until "you meet up" . Well now you are big, fresh, got a good account, getting a car soon and now clients beg me. And even more...

Can't you see, you are all you need to be presentable to any reasonable parents, you are a survivor, a man, a true man, a successful man, what parents want for their girls. I urge you to go on except you on your own side is not ready.

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timmy, how do u know, av u been to one?

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what, you dont believe me, its true now

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marriage couselling kee!!, ha dats to the xtrim oh, i'm not down with marriage yet and most times councillors dont give the right nformation one needs

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yes ohh, i'm not the author of this thread and i'm not ready for marriage either at least not in the next 3 yrs. im still young now habba!!

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timmy is not the author of this topic

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If you don't know yourself, you probably should not be thinking about marriage at all!

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ok, i know i have nothing to say that would be of help to you, so somebody please help him/them

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I think it's a necessary formality. Though the girl's parents might have known the man before, there should still be a time when the girl will bring him home formally.

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I think the meeting he talks of is a face to face one. It is quite different from a phone conversation. Talking to someone on the phone is one thing. When you must go in person, especially if you are asking for a hand in marriage, its entirely something else. Besides, if her parents were against her having a bf, they might find it easier to wait until they know they were serious, rather than getting the girl potentially in trouble over nothing.

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ok fine, even if u stay on campus or an apartment, u can still speak with them on phone! there's really no excuse for not meeting any of ur girl's family for four years!

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nope, you live at school on in an off campus apt. There aren't any relatives around.

I'm guessing you are not a college age student.

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@allonym even if u guys are studying abroad, i'm sure u stay with one relative or family friend or whatever abi? so its really no excuse.

@timmy,its not too late, u can start getting to know them now n please don't feel inferior or anytin, just be yourself. all d best

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For elders to do the talking, that assumes that on both sides they are willing to approve the marriage.

However, this is still an issue. So, when we get to be elders, what exactly are our young ones expecting us to do?

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you forget gentleone that many people are students in a country where very little of their family reside. If they goto school in the US, and their family is in Nigeria, when would they meet (especially now where you'd rather finish your degree than take a chance at not getting your visa renewed).

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Take kola nut and elders. The elders will do the job. All u have to do is sit and watch. And then you see your girl. Am i wrong?

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