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I Got A Job In Lagos: Am I A Bad Mother And Wife?

hello dear, i never thought i would be in such a dilemma, finding myself between the devil and the deep blue sea.

here is my plight and i would appreciate any honest advice.

I'm married to a loving husband and have 3 wonderful sons. life has being OK for us until recently when we developed some financial problems. my husband and i know and believe that soon, everything will turn out right and would not have to worry about living.

I'm a lawyer but have not worked a day in my life and suddenly i got this great job as a legal counsel in an oil company in Lagos.

this should be a very happy moment in my life but I'm sad and torn.

you see, i live in Abuja with my family and taking this job offer means moving to Lagos. my husband is happy about the job but has got concerns with the office being in Lagos. I'm to resume early next month and its causing me sleepless nights even though i know I'll be shuttling Abuja every weekend.

i love my family more than my life and it makes me cry thinking that my kids will feel i choose my job over them, all i want is to sacrifice my happiness to provide a better life and future for them. what do i do?

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50 answers

3 gbosas for Militia - gbosa! gbosa!! gbosa!!!

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Thank you oh!  Please advise this slacker-husband-layabout-fake-businessman wan-na-bee- so-called "head of the household" to go find ways to feed his family and stop making silly excuses!  If the woman did not have children, he probably could be one of those husbands that would have taken another wife within one year if not before marriage!

As for my life?  Don't worry about that!  I get husband wey dey work!  Go and get yours and stop looking for a woman to [b]"nurse" you!

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u too get sense!

obviously everybody here knows the real world and how it works, except militia!babe,get a life.

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me think that MILITIA's grip on reality is very feeble. Calling Nigeria an African Jungle just cos u've found ur way to America is very disheartnening. At the risk of being called arrogant, i can tell u confidently that many of us have stayed back and made it and we're better off than many people in foreign lands working two or three jobs to survive.we travel from time to time and see what many nigerians are going thru over there.although we can't blame u guys for leaving cos we know the situation here cos the fact is that majority of nigerians still live in poverty but i don't think it's a funny issue (i counted 11 smileys in ur post) and i certainly don't think u have the right to call your country a jungle (if indeed u are nigerian).

@ poster,

do what u gotta do to take care of your family.Go for the job in lagos. This too,shall pass.

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@MILITIA

The problem wit u is that u dont trust urself, let alone trusting someone else. Maybe u are talking from experience (when u were getting promoted by submitting to ogas), but that does not mean every woman taking up a job will go thru such, or makes every "Oga" a potential predator.

Please if u have nothing better to contribute, hold ur peace.

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How deep is your husband's concerns about moving to Lagos? You surely seem strong enough to deal with the love and affection you'll miss from your family while away in Lagos, but "husband concerns" can ruin your marriage. Talk to your hubby and make sure he is really on board because guys often keep their fears to themselves.

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i like the ice cream story!. I have been there!

Now I work 4 nights away from my Children and hubby, I see them onlt at the weekends, during my leave, trainings in Lagos or when NLC strikes. My time with them is qualitative, I pack so much into the weekends just being with them, trying to make up for time.

But then I can afford to clothe them, put them in good schools, support my hubby, travel for holiday with them and plan for their future with ease. "the power of a working Mother"

The situation to me is not gonna be for ever. I am strategically working towards being able to leave the job and be back in Lagos with the family. I had a two year plan to save up and invest enough to take a one year sabbatical. It has not been easy but I have accepted it, my hubby is most understanding (he is very good with the children).

Do not feel guilty about it. accept it is not the ideal, Have a future focused, time-bound plan to get the family back together.

Make sure your children reap all the benefits that can come out of it. They will appreciate it later in life when they are schooling in Harvard! (LOL)

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MILITIA does not sound like a married woman of three children, she sounds like a market woman. When your children don't have food to eat or are embarassed at school because of school fees, try sitting down and waiting to find a job in a location that suits you, rubbish!

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The perfect function of man is to LIVE, not EXIST. Get your priorities right and work it out.

Accept the job and meet whatever challenges that come your way.

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. No you are not a bad mother. I think you should go 4d job. Hw old are our kids? I just hope the job wont demand dat you be in lagos during the weekend too? Can your husband relocate? I mean d whole family? Discuss it with him. Follow your heart desires buut his approval and acceptance is key. Cheers

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You are not a bad mother nor a bad wife yet.

Am happy you've accepted the offer. I understand your situation, some pple might not know what it means to stay in a family with any hope of how to put food on the table, come to talk of other basic things for the kids.

I wish you well as you resumes on the 2nd. You got a nice job, since you are committed to your family, you should be able to raise some funds to assist your hussy to come back to his fit in the nearest future. Then you can make the choice of leaving the job and having your own business no matter how little or finding a smaller job in Abuja. All these depends on the impact of your new job/status on your family in the short/long run.

Above all, prayer is the key and always keep in touch.

Goodluck!

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Cooljade,

The Bible says "Can Two Walk  Together Except they Agree" my own is can you keep the family and keep the Job.

Money is a defence but Wisdom is the principle thing. In all your getting get understanding.

You don't have anything to worry about. As long as the challenge is for a while. Why should you take up a job away from your HOME. Am married also and my wife and i have agreed the no job would put assunder in our marriage. You either depend on God to get you a better job in Abuja or not. At times it feels like things are not working for our good but guess what God is still God.

I lost my job in our 1st year of marriage and i stayed at home for almost 1year and i kept telling God i would need a job that would not take me away from my family and today i work in Lagos, my wife also work and we are better than when we first started.

Ask the Holy Spirit our teacher to direct you.

It is WELL.

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Hi woman, reading tru wot some have said i will go by the way of OSAWOLRD and also say this pls sit your husband down and pls i dont belif calling the whole family talk 2 ur husband because of the luv and the understanding u both have 4 urselfs tell him if he could allow you go with d children because he is not financially boy and if u leave he can try but can never play ur role and belif with d children with you and communication to their father daily or as u want will give d man way to think and also move if ur husband is not d type dat looks around. I feel he cant stand baffing d children and other things its ur duty and if possible pay him weekend visit unschedule visits with d children, and with time u can go for your reposting bach 2 abuja. Pls think b4 u move but never compromise this job because its not easy and i belif they will have a branch in Abuja so u can still press 4 reposting. Thank you.

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Sister,

Remember what the Bible says: In the multitude of counsel there is safety, take the right counsel, many advise here may get you more confuse but you reserve the right which is good for you. God will be with you & your family -whatever you do,whatever you are or will become, pls alway put ur family & God first. Lagos is so bad as painted, ur family can settle down with you. Who knows there may be more fortune for ur husband's business here.

Forfavour

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Then let them all move to Lagos! Next time the poster will plan better by always working. Anything can happen as in this case. Now she has to explain to her poor sons why they cannot have common "ice cream"! Na wa for Nigeria oh! It is really terrible. Anyway God will show her the way! But like I said, do not be surprised if one housegirl carry belle for ya husband before you come back from Lagos!

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You definitely right about that but I know people that during the dot.com boom all their stock disappeared. I will give you an example - I worked with some United Airlines pilots on a homeland security project in 2002 doing some training ( I work on the IT side of the project) - The youngest of these guys was 55y/o. Some of them were laid down after the 9/11 unfortunate incidents and one told me he lost close to 1 millions dollars worth of stuck during the stock crash that followed the dot.com doom. Of course he had a lot of his stock in the blue chips and some in United Airlines stock. he worked in the home depot for sometimes before the project that we worked for  for six months came by. This guy lives in some obscure town in CT and left his family to take up a job in LA. One of them was also a female pilot with a  big ranch in Spoken washington with 2 kids. She was like 58 - They had to laughter majority of their livestock during one of the mad cow diseases. It affected them. She too lost most of her United Airlines stocks she had and lost a lot of money in stock generally. I also want you to understand that a lot of United Airlines workers lost their pensions too and those pilots were among those.

I understand the whole thing about Nigerians and financial planning. i was lucky to invest in real estate after the interest rate went down in 2001/2002  - my real estate proceeds actually pay for my house I am living now and i hardly have to touch my salary to pay for my mortgage. I had a choice then to ride around in 7series BMW at those time or spray money at every party here in Dc area but I chose wisely but that doesnt mean that bad thing dont happen to good people. I had friends that didnt do owambe or dont do efizzi that lost their jobs and it wasnt pretty.

You had the opportunity to do two jobs - how many people in Nigeria can actually find one job? One time I had a contract with DOJ while I was working with FDA in the evening as a network security expert. A lotf of people dont have that opportunity.

the poster husband had a Business and the business is failing and she has to do what you did in your case but in reverse situation. She couldnt find a job in Abuja and had to go to Lagos. You dont expect her husband to leave his business even though things are not working out. You can say that is the bad thing about just having one working person in the family, but the man hasnt done wrong asking his wofe to take care of the kids while he makes the money but in this case things just didnt work well!

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By the way, at least you can use your credit card when you are broke here and even if you lose your job you can be on unemployment insurance for 6 months till you get yourself sorted out!

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@MILITIA

While i agree with you that Nairaland might be the worst place to seek serious advice on issues that affect your life such as taking a job or not, I think some of ur conclutions are wrong. U live in the US ( where there are basic utilities running very well) so u definitely don't understand some things about financial stress and lack of efficient utilities. Do you have any idea wat it wld be like not to have money to fuel your car and take ur kids to school, leaving them to the rigours of publice transportation (She def wont be able to afford a taxi, if she can't fuel her car)? Do you know how fast financial stress can kill beauty in marriage? Do you know wat its like not to have money to feed (my dear, groceries aren't half as cheap in Naija as in the US o!)? If you know wat being broke in this country is like, imean if you have any idea, u'll not make things sound as though she's deciding to leave her kids.

By the way, i thought anyone who read through her post wld understand fully the dilemma she is in. I identify with her cos my family has gone thru smth like this before and that, at a time wen the economy was much better and inflation wasn't this terrible,

Having said that, i insist that the most rational decision is for her to go to Lagos but the best decision is the one she and her husband can reach together having analysed their poisitions (which u and i dont fully understand).

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I can undastand wat u're passing tru on dis issue , is one tin 2 accept the offer and anoda 2 see reasons not 2 accept, wat will be d outcome if sad reports reaches ur hubby family members abt u , will dey stand 4 u? these are one and many questions u shd ask urself , consider and discuss with ur hubby b4 movin ahead.

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Sister,

Remember what the Bible says: In the multitude of counsel there is safety, take the right counsel, many advise here may get you more confuse but you reserve the right which is good for you. God will be with you & your family -whatever you do,whatever you are or will become, please alway put your family & God first. Lagos is NOT so bad as painted, your family can settle down with you. Who knows there may be more fortune for your husband's business here.

Forfavour

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I totally understand how u feel and of course how ur husband feels. My Fiance just got a dream job but will have to move to Ibadan, just Ibadan down there o! and even though i'm really happy for her, i catch myself wishing many times that it could have been in Lagos, and we are not married nor do we have kids,

I think Seun and the others who have spoken like him have really been unfair, i'l say take the job but you and your husband need to sit down and make a workable plan on how to make things work (as in the house). Love is all about compromise, evry single day (u shd know that, you area mother of three!).

I don't know any couple thats happier together than my parents and they've been married for 27yrs, there was a time my mom had to take exactly this same kind of step, My dad was a lecturer in a university and the pay in those days were pitiful, they had to sit down and make a plan, analyse honestly wat it would cost the two of them and the responsibilities they had to take on, Finally wen they'd agreed they called me, as the eldest child (interestingly we are three guys but i was 9yrs at the time) and told me wat had to happen at the time. I didn't really understand, but i took responsibility for my brothers. Anyways, our family came out the better for it, the initial payment for the expanse of land my parents' house sits on now came from that. My mom retired from her bank a long time ago, well before she was due to cos my dad's pay got a lot much much much better and his environmental consultancy business started doing very well,

Anyways enof of my family story; just felt that wld make it lighter for you and help you know that wat matters is how u guys handle!!!

But finally, if your husband suddenly says no and wont be persuaded, then i think you need to stick weit being in Abuja especially since the background of ur post suggests that he really is a great guy who i doubt wld just want to kill your dreams for nothing!

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You have said your husband is enthusiastic about your job and is willing to give you all his support. Why don't you give a try? Afterall you can always resign from the job is you find it to be harmful to your family. Good luck!

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@ cooljade,

congrats on your employment, its actually a big one. i dont think you have anything to worry about as long as you remain the caring wife and mother you have always been. try to support your husband as much as you can and try not to rub your fat salary in his face. you can always visit abuja from time to time and they can also visit you as well.

all the best and make sure you remain a caring wife and mother and things would turn out better than you expect.

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@cooljade,

I feel you very well and understand all of this. My answer is yes to all of your questions and I have been in worse situation, waking up in the morning with no budget to work on. There was simply no money! But I learnt an important lesson from that situation - when you are down, the only place to go is up.

Chevron does have an Abuja office and I know somebody got relocated there to be with her husband. You can do same after 18months on the job.

All the best

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Cooljade,

Go ahead and start your new assignment in Lagos.

Plan to relocate your family to Lagos as soon as you can.

Dont mind about Lagos life whatever, your hubby can cope, there are millions of gentlemen in Lagos too not only rough ones

Who knows if on his relocation to Lagos he might get something tangible doing. You dont know if God wants to use this opportunity to bless your family richly.

I think these suggestions will improve your family's life.

GOOD MUM AND WIFEY

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There is no power in praying. If you don't use your brain to make good decisions, your family will suffer.

How you feel is very important, but feeling right about a decision doesn't make it right. It has to make sense.

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@ cooljade

I feel your plight and i fully understand your position. i am happy you have decided to take up the job in Lagos. But i will advice that you always pray to God regularly and with GOD on your side you can make it.

Like you said, your husband does not want to move to Lagos, i would suggest that if possible, after working for some few months say 6, you could opt for a transfer to Abuja that is if the company has a branch there. And if not, seek the face of God as per relocating your family and HE will make a way out.

Your family is very important, you need to be with your kids to take care of them,

Please hold onto God and HE will never fail you. I have this book called the power of a praying wife, power of a praying mother and power of a praying woman. It teaches a lot about the power of prayer and i tell you my sister there is power in praying.

Stay blessed

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@cooljade

I just want to say that I wish you well. I'm not with a husband or family, but I know what it is to struggle for everything; when even ice cream is a luxury. Yes, ice cream and treats can be a luxury item for a lot of Americans as well.

When I was younger, there were a lot of things my brothers and I just couldn't have. My parents simply couldn't afford it. It hurt at the time, but then like someone mentioned, parents do need to talk truthfully about the value of money.

You know, when I was a teenager, and I grew tired of "I can't, I can't afford it", I got myself a job. I was old enough to do so, and it taught me independence, and my parents were so proud of me.

When I became an adult living on my own, I had to do the adult things, like pay bills and such. It's not easy! It doesn't feel good to not be able to afford things. You may not be destitute, but you have a right to live at a certain standard.

Part of being an adult is making hard decisions. You have to be "okay" with your motives, and they seem to be in the right place. One day your children will understand, and love you all the more for it. Just talk to them about why you have to do this.

It's a great thing you have the love and support of your husband. But for the sake of your family and marriage (people do get lonely, and they need comforting) I would make a reunion plan as soon as humanly possible. God Bless.

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@ topic,you are feeling thios way cos you've not started yet. I bet you when you start in ernest it won't be as bad as you think.

I know of a colleague doing thesame,sure it's stressfull but it's really working.Try it and ask for transfer atfer a while.

Goodluck

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My dear sister,

My own piece of advice is to alway remember & uphold the sanctity of your marriage, every stage in life poses its own challenge(s). Beware of many 'guys' around you that may want to take undue & unholy advantage of you, they are wolves & prentenders all out to satisify their lust dsires @ detriment of others. please alway remember & not compromise the love you have for your husband & children. God will be with you & alway call ur family always. Alway pray to God to sustain both you & ur husband in a period like this

Accept my congratulation on your appointment.

Forfavour

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@ dis guy, my husband owns his own business.

pls pls pls readers, the scenario i painted is not for pity sake. its just to share one sad moment.

@igbonla, do you have children? have you ever lived, day after day, calculating on tight budget? a budget that even a kobo spent else where is fatal. my husband and i had 4 cars but have sold 3. the one left is what we use to run around school, market, offices etc. its cheaper maintaining a stress free car in Abuja than using a taxi.

I'll do as some advice, take the Lagos job (i'm resuming on the 2nd of next month) and be on the look out for any job in Abuja since my work place has got no branch in abuja. I'm sure it will be much easier getting a job in Mobil or total after working in Chevron.

thanks again to everyone. love you all.

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@cooljade,

The ice cream story is pathetic but I am just not moved. Ice cream is no food and we should learn to always tell our kids the truth about our situation. Let's start talking to kids about money so they know it does not grow on trees; it will also be helpful in building them for the future.

That you have a car to move around tells me you are not desperate just that you are not where you would like to be yet.

But your mind seemed made up; so do what you gotta do!

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Cooljade,

Is it possible for the kids to follow you to Lagos, and your husband do the shuttling instead? I assure you, the absence of a mother is a more terrible thing to kids than the absence of a father (some may disagree, buts thats my humble opinion).

I feel your pain, especially with the Icecream story, but your husband should really consider relocating to Lagos. It would solve the entire problem.

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@cooljade

I am not a mother so I can't say I know how you feel

Do what you have to do okay

Keep in mind that you'll call all the time, and travel to abuja as often as possible

God who sees the sincerity of you heart will make a way

Keep you eyes open for opportunites in Abuja and hang in there

When you husband's business picks up in a short while you'll be able to take other opportunites close to home

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would it be okay if i ask: is your husband employed or has his own business?

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@ seun. thanks for your view, read pls,

on my way home last week, i stopped at grand square for a loaf of bread. "mummy, pls buy ice cream for me" my oldest son said. "and me too" cried my second son. i checked my wallet for more money as i had just 300 naira at hand and the loaf costs 220. i found a 10 naira note and two 5 naira notes. 100 naira in all. i told my boys I'll buy ice cream the next time we visit grand square.

"oh no mummy, that's all you ever say. next time, tomorrow, later, you never fulfill your promises" i went cold inside as it is true, I've made this promise continuously for 4 months, but still put up a face that showed i was in control. OK, i said, lets go to the ice cream corner.

the corner as usual was full of people waiting on queues. when it was my turn, i leaned forward to the sales girl and in a whisper-like voice asked her if she could sell a 100 naira worth of ice cream to me. "no, madam, our smallest cone goes for 200 naira .sorry, next please".

i briskly walked out and my sons hurried behind me. i avoided their faces and couldn't say a word because i was swallowing hard the tears that were building up out of the disappointment, the shame of another broken promise, the anger of failing my kids. we drove home quietly, silently, i could see their sad faces on the rear-view mirror, that silence was just on the outside because in my heart and mind was a loud war of thoughts.

This, seun, is just one of the many moments I've failed my kids this year. it might just be a tale of ice cream but its a test of faithfulness from a mother to her child. you said i should be there for them. yes, i want to be more than anything. but i want to be there to put smile on their faces, clothes on their body, food on their table and books in their school bag's want to be a mother my children would be proud of, and i know the love I've shown all these years and now will make them see me in a good light.

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Am sorry for the error. Makes no difference to my point of view.

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Cooljade,

I was faced with a similar situation to yours in 2001 when i had to depart to the UK. It was a very difficult decision to make. I was torn between leaving my wife and 5 kids behind and making a decision to travel to UK.

I will personally advise you to take the job in Lagos in other to improve your families financial situation. From what you have posted above, you love your wife and kids, this love and trust will see you through. Not to take the job probably  means throwing away a life changing opportunity. Nothing puts a strain on marital life like financial pressures, if you are able to solve this, all other things would fall in place.

You have to appreciate the fact that your family's separation is for a while, i do hope soon and very soon, your family would become united again. As for me, my entire family is now with me in UK. When i wanted to leave them behind however,  lots of gossip were flying around with some saying i was hearthless. The question to ask is, how may of them would have provided for my family if i had chosen to stay behind. Goodluck and may God help you reach the right decision.

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@ cooljade

How old are ur boys? How much do U trust your husband? Thank God you've got all boys.Take this job for the moment but know you can't continue with your family far away.

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I think everyone has made very valuable contributions, but somehow I tend to agree with Igbonla.

Situations like yhis is were you have to make an extremely wise decision. It might be easy like some have suggested to take the job offer and shuttle over the weekend to see the family, but then again you really can not tell what sort of effect that would have on your family.

My suggestion would be to pray first for God to guide you and your husband to make the right decision what ever it is. Discuss the possibility of your husband moving to Lagos, that is if his job has that sort of flexibility.

I had the experience of being away from my family for 10months, and believe me it was not that easy. I had to give up job offers to return back to where they were. well but that is me. In the grand scheme of things, always remember that God matters most and family comes next.

All the best and may the Spirit lead you and your family to make the best choice ok.

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Please do it jo!

I think some respondents here are trying to take the moral highground without any attempts at being pragmatic. Common, the lady mentioned her family is passing through some financial challenges. You don't need a soothsayer to paint a picture on how hard it is to get a worthwhile job in our environment. This is no jand or yankee where with the right qualifications, getting a job is relatively easier.

They say a bird in hand is worth more than a zillion in the bush. This might just be her opportunity to improve her family's financial condition. I'll suggest you take the job and still be on the lookout for job openings in abuja. Getting any job - irrespective of appellation - in an oil/gas company no be beans. Just keep your eyes peeled for openings in abuja. Who knows, you might even be able to work out a transfer to abuja if you play your balls right.

I'll say, if your husband is supportive of the move, do it. You can then leverage on that to get a job nearer home.

Just my 2 cents there.

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@cooljade,

I feel your frustration but will offer my opinion, you still have to make your choice. You are an excellent woman that must be "worshipped" and I salute you.

Please don't do it! I agree with Seun that you can find a legal counsel job in Abuja, you don't need Lagos now.

Your kids are young and your husband will agree to handle them just to let you accept the Lagos job. The effect on the family will be unpredictable even if you fly every weekend; the salary job is not worth it. Your family is all you have, stay with them.

Otherwise have the whole family follow you!

May God continue to guide you.

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The truth is that you can find a good job as a legal counsel in Abuja. This Lagos opportunity isn't the only one.

I understand that women should be free to pursue their careers, but children must also be free to enjoy the company of their parents. It's up to you both to look for good jobs that will not separate you from your children.

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No u are not,rather u are the best wife and mother on earth otherwise u wont be having sleepless night over this issue;u will just go to Lagos and make ur money send it down to Abuja and that settles it.Just give everything to God in prayers so that his wisdom will guide you in ur decision making and dont for get that providing for ur children is part of being a good mother.

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a big thank you to everyone who has contributed an advice. I'm tuning my mind day and night to welcoming Lagos. my eldest boy is 8 and youngest is 1yr and 2 months.

to those who advised relocating to Lagos, thanks for the thought but, my dream has being to live in the sane, peaceful Abuja and my husband can't stand the rough Lagos life.

i know it would be difficult, closing from work with no one waiting for your return, completing a meal with no kid wanting a piece of meat before dinner is served. at least, I'll put my all into my job.

thanks everyone and wish me endless luck and i pray God will bless you all.

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Its never easy making decisions when it comes to family and work. I understand how you feel. I work have a baby. It was excrutiating pain when i had to leave her at two months to go back to work. But i had to. So girl, do what you must do, however do ensure that a very open line of communication is maintained at all times and pray a lot! When your finances improve you might even have grown to love your work, however like someone has said it might help if you guys plan to move to lagos so that the stress of travelling up and down and communication do not become unbearable. also you need to pray real hard that your husband regains his earning power because a man's pride becomes deflated when he can no longer provide for his family. But with God on your side, things will definitely work out, you'll see.

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Hi cooljade. I feel you ooo my sister.

I can imagine what you are going through. I am a mother of 2 (a boy and girl) and i work too.

Sometimes i feel soooo guilty coming home at nite to meet them sleeping.

I'll suggest you analsye the merits/demerits of the 2 choices. Also take into consideration the inherent risks involved; try and come up with mitigants for these risks. Discuss all these with your husband (and if the kids are not too young, discuss with them too. Make them understand he implications of all the actions). I'd suggest that you make it a family decision, so everyone will be in the know of why mummy had to go and work in Lagos.

Ultimately, i pray God gives you the wisdom and grace to pull through.

Cheers

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@cooljade,

I feel you. I know what you will pass through being in Lagos while your husband and children are in far awaya Abuja. It is one of the most difficult situations any person that knows the value of having a family will go through. It is more difficult when you have always spent most of your time with them. However, circumstances make this situation arise in families.

I was a victim of this. I got married to my wife while she was still in the University and after our first son she went back to school with our child. I thought it would be easy for my to carry on with my life like a bachelor, but it was impossible. My own house became a strange house to me. I was ton apart. I spend most of my night calling my wife on the phone. I missed them so much. It was hell of a situation.

Cooljade, please you need to go but just make up your mind to move your family to Lagos at the shortest time. That is the only way you can have you family back. Dont forget that if you get used to staying in Lagos without them they will get used to staying in Abuja without you too.

Please relocate them at the shortest possible time.

I FEEL YOU

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@wales7479, thanks for being so positive. I'll see that my discussion with my hubby clears most fears he's got. its a wonderful feeling knowing someone somewhere hopes and has faith in me. thank you.

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