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If It Were U, What Will U Do?

Hello All,

Put yourself in my shoes, and what would u 've done?

I'll cut it short. I've a son with a man who right from the 1st month I told him am pregnant he urged me to abort with all kinds of threat but because my life was at stake, I had to keep d baby.

During this process my personal house was set on fire, I past thru. hell making sure I don't miss d blood. God provide d blood and gave me a lovely, handsome, beautiful baby boy.

I arrested him due to d threat when d baby was 3 months. At 5 months he took me to welfare to cater 4 d baby which we neva reach a concensus. He now went to Min. of Justice yet all to no avail. He mention DNA test and my family & lawyer insist on it first b/4 anyother thing for my son's future and safety.

Now, d baby is a yr and six months (1yr 6mths), he's of age to start School. I sent him mail to look for d School but he neva did, I checked d Sch. and now gave him d bill with my son's a/c no. to pay in the money, no reply. I took him to Min. of Justice this time around, he now insist he's paying 60% & I've to pay 40% for the fees. Feeding 5k, clothing 1k, medical 1k. He was now told medical is not inclusive dat they're not wishing d baby to be sick, he said "NO" he must pay because he doesn't want to be called upon incase d baby is ill. I don't agree to this terms. He earns 350k per month.

B/4 dis last meeting he calls me names and I gave him back also and still sent him terrible text. "His father neva train him (is mum did until he's a Mech. Engr.), could dis be nemesis". Unfortunately, d mum is late.

He said "I come to welfare anytime I want to see him" He still feels I want to use d baby to trap him. It's far from my mind. I was angry and felt I can't forgive but when I read a book by one man of God about danger in unforgiveness, I had to forgive him immediately with most of my friends who were involved.

I've move on with my life and still very happy. Could he be dat when he sees me at d welfare looking good, he's not happy? He said lots of things this last time but I gave a deaf ear. (1) I'll soon cross his line (2) What'll d son inherit from him dat he neva inherited anything from his father.

Anywhere, I make mockery of him dat d baby is a male child. He can run to anywhere dat even if we're not married he's d head full stop.

He said "he's married" thank God for him. Whether he's married or not I don't give a damn and am not interested even if he's d only man on earth, I WON'T MARRY HIM" Am from a home dat parent are happily married.

I TOLD HIM TO PAY ME ALL MY BACKLOG AND TAKE HIS SON since he's not ready to take d responsibility. He said "NO"

PLEASE GENUINE ADVISE NEEDED

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28 answers

Dear Lady, if you didn't want to repeat he's mother's mistakes then u shouldn't have found yourself in this situation. you didn't plan for the baby before you got pregnant and have an illegitimate child for him. the guy obviously wasn't ready to have a family with you and if a man is not inlove, hundreds thousands of sons will not bring the two of you together.so, stop making yourself feel miserable by fighting over who pays the bills,backlog means you didn't even love yourself enough to want to take care of your son,good luck.

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That is my point exactly! I just could not see anyone calling the guy an too!

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and why did the unfortunate gulr go have un protected sex with a man who hasnt even bothered to pay her dowry?

it takes two uncompromising idiots to tangle

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my mind tell me it is money that is motivating her to do that.

3 times, she mentioned that he earned 350k per month and didnt want to add just 1k! She was even talking of inheritance when the man is rtill alive! This is absord. What if the man drop dead today and kick the bucket?

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exactly, the guy obviously wants nothing to do with the child and shes pushing the poor little baby around, i still insist she wants the guy, and i can tell you men this days would rather have someone thats intelligent as a wife than a desperado

i actually read this line of hers again and again and again, and im more convinced that she wants the guy at all cost, if not why did she open her legs in the first place and why is she stalking him?

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@poster,

If I were you, I would get a long mirror, and look myself in face to see if I am sane or not.

Why not put yourself in his shoe? Ok. Let assumed that you are rapped and your attacker now insist that you must bear the baby. Not only that, he forced you to move to his house and threaten you with all sort of injuries if you fail to do what he want? Isnt that a crazy wish?

My friend, the guy must have seen that you are going to be a difficult wife hence his decision not to marry you. Btw, how did you come to sleep with him? Was he in love with you or just looking for a shortcut? Or u tempted him to lay on your bed? Until I know the circumstance of the lovemaking, It will be unfair to judge the man or you.

If I were you, I wil go get a job and work to take care of my kid. You wont be the first single mum. And to be sure, the method you are adopting would only make your son hate you in future. You must leave the guy alone. Forcing him to part with money will only make you more miserable. You are not even bothered you are in welfare. Wait till your son grow up to see how much humilliation await you if you dont do something now.

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Nobody is perfect but, if this is the kind of english you speak for the guy, then i know why he does not wanna have anything to do with you, bloody illiterate

Now back to the issue at hand, if we begin to define the word 'dumb' , i tell ya you will be the one going away with ' [b]the dumbest curse of womanhood' [/b]medal/award, because you deserve it

Wanting to give your son away to a man that does not want him,shows how silly and daft you are, if you are so premature on family issues, why on earth did you open that silly legs of yours for a more silly person than you are

God have mercy on that boy that came into this world to live with parents that think with their anus and not their brain

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keep quiet, you admitted to wanting to give him your son if he paid 'backlog' as you put it?

can i ask what kind of a mother are you? i can see by your post that the dude isnt ready to be tied down, and you seriously want to tie him down, i dont believe that rooster and bull story of ' doctor said i will die or loose my womb if i abort the child' bla bla bla, all your post stinks of stupidity. sorry but its the honest truth

Lie as much as you want, you still want the man, you wanna tie him down, the dude is not ready to be tied down, SO BACK OFF AND LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE

Thanks but I don't discussed with dumbs like u. Who think he's d only man on trouser. Don't pray it shd happened to u, sister or any connected to u.

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keep quiet, you admitted to wanting to give him your son if he paid 'backlog' as you put it?

can i ask what kind of a mother are you? i can see by your post that the dude isnt ready to be tied down, and you seriously want to tie him down, i dont believe that rooster and bull story of ' doctor said i will die or loose my womb if i abort the child' bla bla bla, all your post stinks of stupidity. sorry but its the honest truth

Lie as much as you want, you still want the man, you wanna tie him down, the dude is not ready to be tied down, SO BACK OFF AND LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE

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What kind of threats?

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Why does he still render threats on me?

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Thx beingme (f). I did, I neva disturb him but only to get a leta fm Welfare which I failed to succumb to his pay. He now went to Ministry of Justice so dat by morrow he'll tell d son he did wanted to cater for him. He's this greedy type (aka gum) dat pretends alot.

He involved his lawyer and I also did same. I was expecting him to go to court. I took him back there to counter all his plans (it's wisdom).

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Poster u determined to have ur baby @ all cost, why not forget the man and take good care of ur baby.

not by might or power but by God .

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forgive what

you wanted the baby he not.

he is paying for the baby what more do you want . be taking the money say thankyou and go.

He ought to have use condom rather than putting me in a tight corner (destroy my womb or die).

Why did he border taking me to welfare since he neva wanted d baby. Thank you can only be said to ppl who're poor for him to use. Thx

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Thx all.

Earnestly, I appreciate ur contribution. I'll be the last woman to give my child for another woman to use has housemaid.

I am not a poor lady I only mention his earning to see his level of greed. While I was pregnant my personal house (built by me) was set on fire and he knows the place, he's my prime suspect is just dat I don't 've evidence.

We met in our former place of work, and 've been there 5yrs before he came into town from Akwa Ibom to join the Co.

I don't give a damn whether he pays or not dat's his business (l like to leave ppl to their conscience). If I was after his money I shd've been the 1st to drag him to welfare but I didn't. I've more things to channel my prayers to than to pray for him to cater for the son.

So I've no ulterior motives or mission. The only point is dat it gets me angry when he talks like a mad man (what will d son inherit from him as if he knows what my son will become in future).

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reading you I can see you have a mission. your reference to his earning, bla bla. my Dear you cant change the past, I know its not eeasy training a child. But time heals some wound. instead of sending nasty text,you should be more concern about the innocent boy. Manage whatever he gives now

. I know he will soon get over it. And pray that god touches his heart to increase the fees and show more concern about the boy.

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sorry to say this but you are mad

come to think of it, who gave you a gate pass to motherhood in the first place, you obviously shouldn't be called a mother, jeez if you were in the westernized world, i'd advise the government take that child from you, cos that innocent baby should not be with a dumb mother

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forgive what

you wanted the baby he not.

he is paying for the baby what more do you want . be taking the money say thankyou and go.

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@confilass

i've heard a simliar story from a friend here who went ahead with her pregnancy even though her hot tempered boyfriend wanted nothing to do with it. Infact she had two kids for him before he eventually departed.

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I don't understand, are you willing to give him your son if he pays the backlog as you put it?

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Thanks a million. I appreciate ur contribution.

God has bless me, I've a good job.

I don't sent him with his money but I had to be wise by demanding for fees so dat by morrow he won't say he had wanted to cater for the son and I refuse.

God is always making a way for his children. U can't believe this testimony my son as a birthday mate (big shot or man). If I've issues he also assist because I had to tell him details.

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Woman it's not always easy as a woman, but my advise is u forget the man and carry on with ur life with ur kid by ur side. pray to God to strenghten u. am talking from experience, i have a friend that it was only her mum that has been shouldering all the responsibilities for over 20yrs and now the man is back,the mother was begging the child to forgive the father. don't worry leave him he will definitely come back on his kneels when the time come, by then it will be too late.

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Cant you raise your kid alone ? If you dont have a Job,get not just one Job but 2 Jobs.Do this for your kid and forget that man.Dont take a penny from him anymore.Tell God to give you the strenght to raise your kid in all good ways.

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More contributions needed.

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@ poster, dont force the child on him, take care of ur child and God will help u thru. the future will tell and by that time u will have him at ur beck and call

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We're both from Akwa Ibom

Would I've kill myself by committing abortion or destroy my womb has confirm by five (5) doctors? I had to face d shame b/cos of this 2 things.

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