If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
I courted my husband for close to 8 years before we got married. I knew him just after I finished from secondary school. I would say I was taking by him the first time we met. Though I would say for the first couple of years of our relationship it was more of a friendship than intimate. Though we were madly in love with each other. In the 8th year of our relationship, I got pregnant out of wedlock and we decided it was time to tie the knots. At first I was sceptical of going ahead with the plans not because I didn’t love him but because I wanted him to be sure he was ready to take the relationship to the next level. I actually suggested aborting the pregnancy but he didn’t want to hear of it.
We got married and we were so happy together until I heard that my beloved husband has a child outside wedlock. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was devastated even before I summoned up courage to ask him.
Hmmm, I did ask him and I was expecting a negative response but to my uttermost surprise he confirmed it. He said it was just a matter of doing a fast one. I asked him so many questions, which were:
Why didn’t you use a condom? He said he did use.
When did it happen? He said it happened the year we got married
How old is this child in question? She happens to be a girl and she is just 6weeks younger than our first child.
Why did he do it? He doesn’t know
Now, husband has taken the girl from her mum, his reason: he doesn’t want to have anything to do with her mum.
He took the girl from her mum when she was about 3 years of age. The girl leaves with husband’s sister in naija and also with husband’s parents.
I have tried within my heart to forgive him and move on with life but I just cant seem to move on. I really don’t know how to move on. Husband behaves well to me, he is loving, caring, a good father to our children. He is the best husband I could wish for. I am dying within, anytime the girls name comes up during a discussion I just go sad and unhappy and my mood changes.
Husband is planning to bring the girl over to stay live with us. I am not in support of that and he thinks I just don’t like the girl. I have never met the daughter. But I ‘ve spoken to her on the phone several times. She calls me her mum! Lol! The girl is not well taken care of where she is but I don’t want her in my house as well. What do I do?
Do I take her as mine and care for her? And how do I forgive completely!? I have three kids of miy own with hubby