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If Your Wife Delivers An Abnormal Child What'll Be Your Action?

Sup peeps,

Been thinking bout somefin lately bout getting married n wifey gets to deliver one of those specials kids as first child what would you do?consider running away without even paying hospital bills or keep the child?

For me seriously the orphanage will have a new intake or okija lol

Ill like you give your opinions and am sure theyll be sensible

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38 answers

is she the only one involved in conception? Soime questions fingers the person asking it as nothing but a fool, this is one of such questions.

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I believe if the mother knows that the child will have mental or physical problems before the child is born, then i don't see a reason why she should have to carry it to term. I rather get rid of the baby, than to resent the child and neglect the child. It is really expensive this day in age to take care of a child with mental disabilities and such. However the decision would be extremely difficult.

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i will love and care for my child abnormal or not,its a mother´s nature,unconditional love for her child no matter the out come.its God that gives children and we cant determine how they will turn out to be.

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I don't see any prejudice against people saying they can deal with it. What I and a few others see is those talking against those who say THEY WONT WANT to deal with such. The OP asked for people's opinions on the matter yet people are telling others that the fact that they wouldnt want to deal with such are "evil and heartless"

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~Thanks for the vote of confidence,i hope to make a difference!!

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the outlook on disablity in western world seems better than nigeria. i was taking a class at the engineering dept in my sch. one of the prof there has only one hand. . . he is from north africa and left his home country because of discrimination against him. he got PHD in mathematics and can drive a car. i had the chance to stop by his office. . . i was there with a problem but we went offtopic and i had the chance to listen to his story. it made me cry if only we will have a good outlook on life and its shortcomings in Africa.

It is time we african change our views about those with disablity. don't just throw the baby away, do all you can. even if you decide to go put the kids in a home, still take time to visit, that's love too.

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~I cannot stress enough that assuming the Challenges & Responsibilities of looking after any disabled child is Easy!! -The reality is depending on the severity of the disability,you suffer an emotional feeling of loss,shock,you question your faith{religion} You feel guilty,angry,you want to blame someone-something, then there's the disbelief of the choices you're faced with!!questioning why this happened to you & your child, Then the panic or fear hits home . . . "will I be able to cope?!!" You think of all the things your child wont be able to do,the quality of life they'll have to live!! All these thoughts are overwhelming & enough to make any parent want so badly to wake up from a very bad dream!!

~The pressure & stress of dealing with a disabled child/ren have broken marriages / relationships, depression for some parents!! Yet there are the choosen ones that will go through this,cope through this,experience all these feelings . . .they prolly didnt know they had it in them to do it but they did!!

*To judge or have prejudice against disability or the people who think they can take on those challenges regardless is wrong!!It will be their choice just as much as it is your choice to take whatever decision you see fit!!

~If most of these parents given the choice,had a chance to choose & make all the difference before they had these children, trust me NONE of them would rather choose a disabled child over a healthy child!!If the question here was "Would you like to give birth to a disabled child?" Who would say yes?!!

* Will it make a significant difference if one had a perfectly healthy child then due to some freak of nature ends up having a child with some form of disability? This happens a lot more than you'd think!!Could be an accident or after ill-health!

* Will your views be the same? How much of a difference will the challenges make then from the babies born with disabilities?

* Will You be able to put hand on heart & say you'll NOt continue to Love,Care & give the best support necessary for that child anymore?

~Most pregnant women wait for that moment to hold their babies in their hands!! To be faced with the challenges & responsibilities of a disability & for some parents the heartache of not been able to cope or give that child the best life they possibly can!!

~There's a saying "God never gives us a load we can't carry" . . . some of us go through life using this as a stepping stone through each of life's challenges . . how many times have you said "I can't do this" Yet somehow someway,you find the strength to get by!! Thats my outlook on life!!

~I suppose its alright from the outside looking in to have prejudice,speculate & question our choices,we have a chance here to really search our hearts & ask that all important question "What Will I Do" if ever we're faced with it but some of these parents prolly never gave any thought or had an incline they'll be faced with that decision so instead of questing other poeple's choices lets not railroad the reality of the suitation!! Whether we like it or not,want it or not,there are kids born with some form of disability everyday,some abandoned,some loved & cared for!! They didnt get to make that choice to be here but us as the parents, get to make that all important choice of accept that child for what they are . . . Human Beings!!Your Flesh & Blood!!

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turns out these are loose associations. There is no evidence that mercury is solely responsible for autism.

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autism is one of the few that you cant find during gestation BECAUSE it shows up around age 3 and majority of the cases have to do with mercury immunization.

If a woman find out that she's pregnant with a kid that will eventually has problems, she has the right to terminate it without people looking down on the person. The same people doing the put downs and all that WONT be there to help the mother out if she goes ahead and keeps it

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Cluelessness all over this thread it is almost suffocating. There are many diseases that you will not detect before the child is born and autism is one of them. I cannot say that I will judge a woman who knows a child will suffer and chooses not to carry to term. There was this little girl in Phillie who was confined to a wheelchair and had many health issues. She died and she was found with sores in her body that had maggots in it. She basically died from a mother's neglect and I am glad that a judge did honorable thing and the mother, social worker and other family members who knew of the treaetment of this helpless girl will pay dearly. Somebody loves them and cares for their rights. We thank God for such people.

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she's back!!!!!,

mich where hv u been missed ur views on NL

was it school or work

anyhw welcome back

On the issue of a special child its sth u dont pray for but if it happens so many things can come into play

1. Knowledge and ability to take care of the child

2. No of existing children

3. Opportunities available for the child

mohawk ur views onthis topic are quite profound, if u are thinking of comin back home im sure its an area u can make a diff

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Many. What do you think aminothesis is done for?

As usual, I agree with michelin.

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A down baby can be detected during pregnancy.

@ topic

Na "make them nor say I wicked" dey make some girls talk like this. Me I nor send. I nor fit pretend say I go love the pikin because I nor go do.

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@ topic

I don't wish to have such a baby. Thanks to the improvement in science, such kids can be detected earlier and expelled!

I don't want a baby that will never grow!

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~Amen to that Outstrip!!

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True talk Mohawk. I pray for every child being born o. I in 150 babies born in the US has autism and most of those with autism are boys. It is the same story with the UK. Better to diagnose it early and help that child at the earliest age possible

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~IN child A's case it was obvious since she was 2,so i suppose each case differs!! . . and it wouldnt be wrong to say the signs are more prominent from ages 3 & Up!!

Autism: What Is It?

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=211

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signs of austism usually dont appear til age 3 and up.

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[~I couldnt agree with you more Outstrip  . . sometimes the earlier the better but not knowing the signs the mum have noticed,it will be wrong to jump to conclusions . . . i give support with play & communication, mentor kids with special needs & raise awareness about Disability . . am in no position to give medical diagnosis but i'll offer sound-minded adivce!!

~There's lot of help available if only people know where to look,believe in their gut instinct & act ASAP!!~

~I cannot stress enogh however that Mum be VERY persistent & asks for a referral,if her gut instinct says otherwise!!

~A family friend's daugther wasnt diagnosed with Autism till she was 3 . . all the signs were there but the health Visitor,GP didnt pick up on it,it took mum's persistence for something to be done about it before she got the help she needed!! its still an on-going process but at least it was better late than never!!

~There are specialised people in various fields who'll be able to do tests & assess the child!!

~Have anyone else noticed the signs she has Chaircover?

What are Special Educational Needs? {SEN}

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Schoolslearninganddevelopment/SpecialEducationalNeeds/DG_4008600

Identifying Special Educational Needs In Under Fives

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Preschooldevelopmentandlearning/SpecialEducationalNeeds/DG_10017052

Getting help for Special Educational Needs In Under Fives

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Preschooldevelopmentandlearning/SpecialEducationalNeeds/DG_4000691

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It must be different in the UK because 3 is old for a child that might need early intervention. Is she showing slowness physically or cognitively? She needs to have her Pediatrician recommend testing. Probably bahavioral. Waiting till 3 is not a good idea unless of course you have no other choice. Tell her stay positive and not take no for an answer from doctors. They always claim to know it all but the mother is usually always right. Good luck to your friend.

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chaircover how old is your friend's daughter

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~Am not a Doctor Chaircover . . from your location on profile tho,am asuming your friend is also in the UK? If so,she best have a word with her health visitor or GP,they'll be in a better position to advice her or address her concerns!!

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such babies are always unique, why would I refuse it?

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So you want to act like the victim here. You that said you will take a child to Okija shrine and you are talking about someone not being well mannered. You do not even deserve a nice word from anybody. In this day and age were people are making a point to understand better the plight of people and families living with mental retardation and developmental disabilities you come here and make a joke of such a heart breaking and sad situation and even inserted smilie faces into your thread like something is supposed to be funny. You know what, I get it now. You are clueless. You will never get it and for the sake of that child I pray that you never cross his or her path. Mohawkchic can educate you. She is better than me on this issue. I will just spit and walk away from you.

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[~You deal with it,thats the hand that fate dealt you!! One would be expected to go thro a roller coaster of emotions, the parents will be distraught . . . as a mother i would have a million questions,i'd blame myself . . i'll wallow in self-pity,there'll be aching pain that will never go away every time you look at that child & wish for healthy child . . but will it change anything?

~I have seen that pain in the eyes of parents . . wishing there was something they could do,doing research after research to find out "WHY" ~ "What caused the disability" . . .but you know what,life goes on . .dwelling on the ~"If's ~But's ~& Why's" ~aint going to make what the reality of the suitation is!!

~You're left with little or no choice but to move on . . .take the positives with the negatives . . the joy of giving birth will be quickly replaced with finding out the best available care to give to your child!! Worrying about what people will think about the disabled child will be the least of my woories!! but then thats me!!

~It will be great to have support from family but if you think your family will not accept a disabled child with open hands then i think i can try to grasp at straws & try real hard to understand/respect our differences in opinion on your views on the topic!

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~As much as i want to have a go at the Original poster,i realise raising awareness about disability will serve a better purpose Plus it gives me the opportunity to write about something i feel very passionate about!!

~No one gets pregnant & wishes for a baby with ill-health,much more any form of disability!!None of us are more special than the parents who have disabled kids,so mayb next time you look at a kid with disability with a shudder,or think "tofiawka"  don't forget they have every right to be here Just like you & me . . .not to suffer or to be stared at but to be loved & cared for!!

~The stigma most african societies puts on disability is just a misconception that makes people scared of the prospect of having a disabled child!! The very idea of having a child with disability would be seen as a curse which is why many kids especially in africa are discrimnated against!! They end up being the victim of "Why me" or "How-did-i-end-up-been-like-this"

~Given that the complexity of the disability isnt the issue here,as"Mr-For-me-seriously-the-orphanage-will-have-a-new-intake" didnt specify what type of disability will make him reach such a decision,I Cannot and Will Not  psych myself not to want to accept a child with any form of disability as common as[b] Physical disability or impairment ie can't walk,talk,hear,see . . . .or Learning disability . . . which most might consider to be a child who is slow or to some people silly!! [/b]

~Or Autism which is a brain disorder which causes impairment in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication &  repetitive behaviors problems or obsessive interests . . . . in a typical african settings that child would be considered to be possessd by demons or whatever reasons is accepted by their standard of tradition/cultural differnces or society in general!!

~It's easy to blame an unknown reason why some children are born with some impairments/disability but in some cases the mother is responsible for such disability/ies!! the most common example will be Mums-to-be who drink too much & use drugs  . . with not so much as a clue of the damages they're doing to their unborn babies!!

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http://www.dsanigeria.org/

DOWN'S SYNDROME ASSOCIATION IN NIGERIA

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i will be happy and thank god for save delivry, i will take good care of the baby.

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Finally, Someone makes sense

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Besides,. . . . . talk na free

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Please leave God out of this.

God doesn't give things that are abnormal!

It is persons like me and you who spoilt the child!

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She wouldn't dare[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

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You guys should be very careful of what you write and think, 'cus you might really be offending God with you so called thinking.

If God decides to give you abnomal children all through even if you marry "86 wives" WHAT WILL YOU DO?

I advice you better change you thinking to something POSITIVE and opening ask God for forgiveness (as you have openly sinned with that your post) or else you might just be on the way to taking your entire children to "okija shrine"

Those that have them shower them with love and affection, and if i may ask is there any difference between you and the abnormal children 'cus you sound just like 'em?

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steve you are a fool. Do you make children? Do you know that this is a very real possibilty? It is no laughing matter and there are people who love their children no matter what. People like you will lock up a child in a room and starve the child to death

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