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Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family?

Is a man Always The Head Of The Family Even When He's Jobless/lazy?

There's this neighbour of ours whose husband is jobless, doesn't even go out to look for a job, the woman does everything, yet he's so bossy. He respects no decision of the woman, always making noise; am the head of this house/family and u must respect me, my decision stand, if i say no u must comply!! . . . inf act it pisses me off!

What ya think? is a man still the head of the family or house even when the lady is the breadwinner?

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123 answers

yes ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, even if the woman is the breadwinner of the family, the man is still the head of the family cos he paid the bride price and they are meant to assit each other

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If the guy is serious and keeps looking for job instead of sitting at home and waiting for his wife to feed him, i'll say YES, he's still the head of the family

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The head is the Head simple! What the Lord has ordain,

It's just that a jobless man who is lazy is a 'Mee' goat not man.

But an hard working man who suddenly lost his job should be respected and loved, yes he still mentain his manhood right has the head of the family,

but he should note that gradualy he is loosing his right, because it takes a responsiblities to be respected at by wife at home.

So get something doing young man, and i also undersatand that god does not bless an empty alter, so as a man we need a little thing as a seed to plant belive God to bless for devine havest. "For it takes a seed to become vegetation and it takes vegitation to become a forest" that it it takes a little biz to start and be great in life.

Thank u all

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@nigeria1

that was very emotional posting

and, like you said , God almighty should lift up, and blessed any realman that might be going through this kind of suituation. Amen

But, woman respect your man, even if they can't provide now

for they were your reason to be created by God.

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Be careful my brothers with women especially Yoruba women I have not met any kind of woman more wicked on earth. Because a man cannot take care of his family for a while does that mean he is less a man. These Yoruba women they are never ashamed to remove their wrapper and expose their undies in public. But some of them are compassionate and humble.

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The man is, and will always be the head of the family. If he is jobless, then the word 'jobless' becomes an adjective qualifying his headship. If he is lazy, he becomes a lazy head,. If he is proud he becomes a proud head, and so on. I wish every woman has a husband with a job, that way there will be less friction in the family.

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3 ways to keep the love aflame: A husband's perspective

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A man is the head of his family -- TRUE.

If he is jobless, for no fault of his then the above is still true for him, but

If he chooses to be lazy in his joblessness, then he will soon lose that respect.

You can be jobless and still be hard working. I have seen people who have no means of livehood, but are very good community workers and are always ready to help with chores in the compounds, streets etc. They try to make one buck or the other from menial jobs around the community.

Likewise you see people with jobs that are very lazy and lousy at their work, and they soon lose the jobs.

Bottom line is LOVE. If there is love in the family, The wife will continue to respect the man regardless of his economic status.

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Well, the lazy man dey rely on wetin dey for bible/tradition dey take cover, hmmmmmmmmmm, e get as e be.

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Bastaaaaaaaaaaa con questo argomento. Non ne possiamo più!

It's high time you guys put this thread to rest.

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Insha Allah the Man His family of the Family no matter what hapned , wid or witout Shedas

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have u girls ever imagined yourself in a family where mum insults dad because he lost his job

it has notin to do with joblessness, any such woman will do same if she earns higher that her husband

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@Almondjoy

better put, "permettez-nous pas d'entrer dans les langues pour d'autres, mais vous avez sans doute trouvé votre match ici."

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Hi,

Thanks babree,

youth of today think that becos they have fancy jobs that makes them the head. well as an african woman working class, men should know that there is more to just mr biggs, do you have what it takes to keep a home.

( in moderate terms to start with) housing, mobility e.t.c the little things that life makes us comfortable with.

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Selfishness yields the same results all over the world no matter the method of expression

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Una still dey here dey discuss? Why not apply your rules to your family and see if they work?

Hypothesis formulated, move forward to experiment and conclusions!

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God ordained for a Man to be the head of the home. Job or no job. Ladies (especially working class), please dont forget that. as for you Jobless man, try to be a little more sensitive to your wife and help out at home when you know she must be tired form work. Its your responsibility, not a favour. If you cant make money, you might as well make yourself useful in some other areas. That dosent make you less of a man, it makes you more responsible towards you family. Is a jobless man the head of his family?? There's no doubt he is.

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Almondjoy joy is just being practical, she may be a bit aggressive but I think she chooses this method because that is the only way to get the message across to a male dominated world that thinks a man is man and head of a home whatever he does.

To all the females on this thread who believe they can remain sweet and nice whether their husbands have jobs or not, please wait until it happens, endure for about 1year and come back to the thread to let us know how sweet and sexy you were!

To all telling almondjoy that her suggestions are not practicable in Nigeria, what is not practicable about a man going to another town to drive a taxi to sustain his family?

@Almondjoy

You may have to take it easy on these guys, these mode of thinking you are battling with has been passed from generations to generations. Some men sat under the village Iroko tree many years ago and in the process of playing draft and drinking palm wine, decided what women should do and what they cannot do (to protect their own ego and 'position') and it became tradition!

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'so pissing into a bottle is a measure of manliness now?' LOL!

Think if I was in that wifes role I would have to accept that he is still the head of the house if that's the commitment made when they married but my respect for him would probably have disappeared if he proved to be that lazy. I hope any self respecting man would get his backside into gear rather than have his wife look at him with disappointment.

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if she fit piss into a bottle then she can ascend da thrown of bossman

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Like someone rightly said it is simply a man's world.

Every one knows what a wife's responsibilities are and most men cannot and will not accept any excuse

to default so why all these excuses and reasonings for the inability of a man to carryout the only responsibility that a husband is known for?

I say 'only' because I have looked at many homes in Nigeria and I can see that the only thing a man

beleives he should do is to provide financial means which most of them do grudgingly, reminding the wife from time to time, that he is not 'plucking the money from a tree'

If it happens that he cannot play this major role , please what does that make him 'useless' is it not it?

God is God to me because when I was yet a sinner He died for me! That is what makes Christ the head of the Church!

Nigeria1 said if you do not want your useless husband, let him go, there are many other women out there who will grab him, I think that is why many men are useless today, women are desperate for just anything 'so far they call me Mrs'!

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Can they do something else apart from praying?

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A Man is the head of the house no matter how poor and irresponsible the man might be!

it is clearly stated in the bible.

and i don't think anyone is going to change that now or never.

but women should endevour to pray for their husbands to be well okay.

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The man is the Head no matter what but a reasonable one

won't boast with nothing to show for it.

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Of course, he is. But he should GO GET A JOB! God forbid, if that kain thing happen to me, infact I go dey shame to even let people know say I dey house, talkless of to come dey beat the loving woman.

That's why I always dey pity all these women wey no know anything pass money, not even caring to think that nothing last forever, that fellow who has all the things go for him now may turn to something else tomorrow if situation should change. Marry for love people, not money.

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no matter how jobless a man is, he will always be the head of the family

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lol, This is a funny question. I enjoy it.

Biblically, and of course following societal norm, the man is the head of the house whether he has a job or not, but I think it will be very difficult for him to play out his role if he does not have a job

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In my opinion, a wife ia a helpmate for her husband. Help mate means someone who assists. I see nothing wrong in a woman being the breadwinner, circumstances could have made her husband out of a job, it doesn't make him any less the head of the home.

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From Scriptural point of view he is, 1Cor 11:3,(QED) the fact is he havent come to learn the mind of christ, on how properly he will be leading his family.

The fact of his being lazy, is another serious issue from bible view 1 Timothy 5:8 says "if anyone do not know how to provide for his family he is worst off than a faithless person". Remember the bible said if anyone, it can mean the wife(who has a secondary role) or the man (whose the primary role).Laziness is not tolerated in the christain congregation

Another area that maybe viewed is when do this man stopped providing? Has he looked for work and there re none, that have made him disillusioned? Who re his associates?

His cultural upbringing, it is a fact that some tribes in Nigeria depends on their wife/wives to fend for them.

The only remedy for men in his position is to learn christ leadership quality, which can only be obtained form accurate study of God's Word. This site can help www.watchtower.org

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@ efuah,

what concerns u with your neighbours affair?

Is being jobless got anything to do with HEAD OF THE HOUSE? oh, u mean a jobless man isnt fit to boss u, yea? reason i always say TRUE LOVE DOESNT EXIST and there can never be ordinary love sef witout money!!!

u spend your jobless time as well sniffing into other pples trouble!!! y not learn to carry your cross n leave others to face their's.

madam CNN,

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of course he is still d head of d family jst nt d breadwinner,money or no money dat title still belongs 2 him cs it was ordained by God nd nuthin cn change dat.some men actually make der wives 2 treat dem like a piece of rag cs if a man turns 2 drinkin nd oda bad habits or is a kind of soft spoken man or jst lazies around instead of findin sth 2 do his wife will turn him in2 a wife.

@almondjoy

u re postin frm ur xperience abroad,y nt come down 2 9ja one day nd u'll no dat its nt easy 2 get employed cs in most countries,a jobless man cn still get an allowance,a roof ova his head etc bt in 9ja,evry1 2 himself even d govt 2 demselves.wen we're talkin head of d family we're talkin makin decisions affectin d family,financial responsibility etc so u d man shuld still maintain dat position or do u think its a pride 4 a woman whose husband is jobless 2 take ova all d responsibilities of d head of d family,if so u're wrong cs no mata wat modern values we av adopted,we will still remain africans.

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Its very easy for an unemployed man to resign himself to fate and be discouraged.

When you are unemployed, your full time job should should be looking for a job. You should go out armed with resumes, pounding the streets looking for employment. You should also on the other hand be resourceful as to how to start a business or something. One year is too long not to make 10 kobo. children do need to be fed oh! .

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That is the problem. Nothing is free in this world. If you don't deserve it, you won't have anything.

We have had people who were born kings but that didn't stop their subjects from beheading them when they didn't do their duties right.

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@Almondjoy

Ur too miopic with all these ur long jaggons here. In as much as it's bad for a man to be jobless, that shouldn't turn the woman as head of the family. Men don't struggle to be head of their family, it's a privilege they just earn from God and nature. A man being financially paralysed or jobless for long is an entire different problem and SHOULD have nothing to do with his headship of the family.

Is most unfortunate that for most women, the only yardstick for respecting a man is entirely on the man's financial power.

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The man is inherently the head of the home. It's Biblical and not based upon one's circumstance

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i beliv a responsible man should get his hands busy rather than sit on his fat Bottom demanding for unnecessary respect & makin unnecessary decisions

bein a man of the owse is much more than d physical features u'v got,its beyond the human comprehension(alot of things are attached, )

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IN A NORMAL SITUATION A MAN IS THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

The Bible and Nigerian Tradition also says this.

The only reason when people starts asking questions is when the situation is not normal.

@Poster for the man to be shouting that he is the head of the house already shows that he is afraid that he is not, you don't go around shouting that you are your father's son except you are faced with paternity test.

The president does not get on a radio to make announcement that he is the President of Nigeria, the people around him introduces as such.

I don't necessarily think a man that does not have a job is less of the head (so far he is not a lazy Bottom who is at ease with joblessness). Yaradua is the head of the country yet the money he is administering belong to Nigeria. There are many women who have money but their husband adminsters the money appropriately in terms of investments, advice to the woman so much so that the increase is even better than for the husband to be working.

Do you think that woman will complain?

And for the fella who said it is what is 'below', words even fail me

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Legally and Financially, yes. Biblically, no.

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Efuah, the answer is simple. If the man loses his job, he ceases to be the head of the household, the woman can become the head of the household and take over all the responsibilities including finances and discipline. Similarly in a two-career household, if the wife loses her job and is "too lazy" to find one, the man can bring in a second wife or divorce the "lazy" wife. That would be fair.

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conditions atimes may be like that. no problem, the man is still the head of the family.

but in this situation where the man is not willing to rise up to the challenges facing him, he could lose the respect of his headship.

the bible says a man that cannot provide for is family is worst that an infidel. do not forget, where purpose is not defined and practically substantiated, abuse is inevitable.

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A man who doesn't go out now and then does not mean he has not set his network and is not searching for a job. What I see here is that he is not going out as often as the wife would want which is subjective and dependent on how stressed the wife is, considering the burden she's had to bear. We are all saying the same thing, I do not support laziness, but the wife can put this energy into giving him more support and encouragement to strive some more simple.

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I think I am in a good position to answer that. I grew up in a family where at an early age we had the comfort of life. That was not to be after my 11th birthday as my dad had a problem in his office and was forced to resign. My mum is in the teaching profession and I can tell you there was not absolute peace in the house. Life gradually became difficult and my mum will sometimes react when there were some pecuniary issues at home.

But we all my siblings and mum still had respect for my dad and accorded him the respect he deserved as the head of the family. We sometimes despised him but he was still the head of the family, we sometimes disobeyed him but he was still the head of the family. Life was hard but my mum stood by the family, though she would raise her voice and complain that she was fed up but she would cook and place food on the table for my siblings and dad. That didn't make her the head of the family. My dad was still the head. Going to the University was a problem but she didn't have to prostitute. She had to go borrowing and sometimes had to visit friends and relatives hoping for a gift. That still didn't make her the head of the family.

Today we only look back at the past and say if God and shown us what was in front, we would have endured without seldom complaining and despising my dad, because we are all gainfully employed and doing well in our chosen careers. Who knows what we would have been if we insulted our dad everyday,despised him everyday. I believe God would not have made a way for us because we didn't honour him. I will also ask where will my mother had been today if she had deserted the family then, I believe none of us would have wanted to see her.

THE MAN IS STILL THE HEAD NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE, ALL HE NEEDS IS PRAYERS, ENCOURAGEMENT AND SUPPORT.

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You are obtuse and brainless.

You are not worth discussing with.

have a nice day.

Thanks for your explanation.

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@ michelin

there is NO contradiction

they are one in the sense of one flesh, one mind, one purpose.

The man must lead/head because even in the greatest unions, there comes a time when there is no agreement, at that point, the head must make the move in the interest of the rest.

No matter the level of unity between a couple, there are some issues they will not be able to agree on, in those cases, the man is supposed to exercise leadership with the best interests of all concerned. That is just the practicality of the matter, unless of course you feel that on EVERY issue you will agree with your husband.

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I barely made an observation but didn't know it fit michelin to a T.

Need I say more.

I guess you didn't learn proper language to use in public either

kpele!

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@all posters. . . if u wona argue, argue! explain ya point but please don't fight!!!!!

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almond,

if I may, let me give an example that just might shed a little more light:

Prior to Katrina, there hadn't been a hurricane in New Orleans in 100 years I believe. Of course, the city council and FG planned and planned and planned. I also remember watching on CNN every hurricane system some special on "what happens if a cat 5 hurricane strikes New Orleans?" and again, they would show whatever latest technology they had that, including giant suction pumps, would help minimize the impact of a hurricane. We both know what happened when Katrina landed.

My point(s): Though we should always hope for the best and plan for the worst, there are things that are beyond our control. Such things, ala Katrina, are referred to as, "acts of God".

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What the hell are you talking about?

Have you got brains at all?

Do you link every unhappy to childhood to an abusive father, mother?

Are you so silly?

I don't care if you are 30 and you are married with kids, but you speak like a slow Dam.

I wonder how your husband is capable of coping with a dickhead like you.

@ my earlier post

And please can someone explain that contraddiction?

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We are all a product of our upbringing.

Someone who saw her father batter and bruise her mom would see marriage different from someone who saw a supportive caring father.

A child who grows up in a polygamous home where the various wives bickered and clamoured for the "kings" attention in the midst of palpable hostility will view marriage differently.

But God is able to heal those wounds.

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