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Is An Engagement Or Wedding Party A Must?

My husband and I have been married for 4 years now and we have a child. We had a very quiet wedding ceremony; I mean we only went to the registry. He was (and is still) based in the US while back then I was in Nigeria. He came to Nigeria briefly and we did a very mini introduction (just my parents and his siblings as he has lost both his parents) and went to the registry so as to make my application process for a visa to join him much easier.

I have since joined him in the US and we are very happy together, both blessed with good jobs and doing really well together in our marriage.

Now friends and family have started asking me when we are going to do our engagement and wedding ceremony. They have insisted that whatever the case may be, culture demands that my husband’s family pay their engagement rights.

In my opinion, I don’t think all these noise making and extra money spree is necessary since we are legally married and what matters is for us to be happy which we are.

Also I love my quiet ‘jeje’ life that I am living and my husband love’s his too. I am very scared that all this ceremony will open our home to ‘back biters’ and maybe even spiritual attacks.

Please my people, what do you think?

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8 answers

Smith, it appears both yourself and your husband are happy the way things are.

You both got married quietly, and preferred it that way.

4 years later, your parents / family are still on your case to do the whole big ceremony thing, which you both clearly don't seem to want.

I think it's time to stick up for what you both want, and let your family know you're happy the way things are.

You have a good married life, both have good jobs, are blessed with a lovely child, what more can you ask for?

If you cave in now, your family will always find a way to run your life in the future, because they feel they can.

Only do the big party thing if you both want to do so, not because your family feel you should.

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iice please. Thank you.

Have you checked the other threads you made?

If you do not reply or post in those threads to keep them current or ask for more opinions, people might not notice it. Which is better than creating 3 to 4 of the same topic.

I believe from the replies to your 'threads' people don't think you should do it.

However ask for more advices and you may get what you want to hear read from the threads.

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well in many Naijat ribes, you're not really married until you AT LEAST do traditional wedding

If you want, you can do it for your family's sake just so they will see you as a "real wife"

of not, just ignore the pleas

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yes lice, this is because I am desperate for nairalanders' advices before xmas.

Sorry about this.

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Moving to family.

You have already posted this topic 2 times!

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If you have the fiances, then you can still arrange for a better ceremony. Yours isn't that long. I know of a couple that married through the registry 19 years ago. They already had four children and yet they still saw it necessary to get family members together and do a church wedding. But if you aren't ready for parties and ceremonies, its up to you to decide.

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