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Is Anything Wrong With Getting A Second Wife?

I've been married for over a year now and I have a daughter, my wife is a very wonderful person, she's beautiful and well mannered and I still love her and care very much about her. There's also this girl that I was dating before I got married, the day I told her I was not going to marry her was hell but the irony is that we are still together and now we are discussing marriage. Is anything wrong marrying her?

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31 answers

I think this poster Just wants insults in Abundance

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Please what is wrong with asking a question on NL? the young man asked a simple ? and y'all crucifying him. Well, mif you say marrying more than one wife is bad, then having concubines outside is as bad too. For me, except someone can convince me otherwise, i dont see anything wrong in marrying a second wife, afterall, some men make mistakes in marrying their first wife and somewer along the line, they find out that they are really not satisfied, and then, there is this lovey-dovey out there that makes him complete,not necessarily in bed. It happens. I was a victim of it, Mind you, i am open to your critics. Dont pretend. Its a thing about choice. If you feel you can cope with the second wife, go ahead. The second wife just has to know it that she has to be loyal to you and your first wife. With love in the family, you will work out fine. But you must be sure that "Anything that makes you buy a scrap car, after having a ferrari, must be really worth it". Is the second wife-to -be worth the extra mile you're gonna take? Ask your self that ? b4 entering this level for the elderly ones,

Then as for any critic here, i am ready for you. I have opined here. Its up to you to opine too.

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Can you even manage one wife successfully?

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@poster,

For ur information,everything is wrong with having a second wife without divorcing the first one, 1 woman= 10problems then 2women=100probs, Pls branch a hospital for checkup abeg, u r loosing ur mind,

Toto no go drive u down ur grave like our late ex military president.

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poster you are talking like a sick person. Did you not take your wedding vows?

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its guranteed to shorthen

your lifespan

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U dey answer am? nothin is wrong with the first one, he's jus being Self-centered

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wat do u need a second wife for?if da first is nt worth it den let her slide before bringin in anoda.u sure dnt need d prob dat goes wit polygamy

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@poster

Is anythin Wrong wiv Gettin a 2nd Husband?

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You are digging your own grave.

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Mr. Skywalker, It may be okay in the Star Wars Galaxy, but here on Earth it's selfish and wrong.

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Okay - I first of all think you have pretty much done a good job - Hot angel.

Skywalker, my own question is of what religion are you?

Whichever one it is, you don't love your wife if you are still dating that girl. Maybe you married your wife out of desperation or whatever. You need to retrace your steps. If you have a daughter with your wife - what is more important, your daughter or just another woman. Imagine what if the other woman hates your daughter with passion? then what will you do? It is not right. Your daughter has done nothing wrong by coming to you, you really need to get your droppings together b4 you make a decision that can not be reversed.

I don't see any woman being happy with 2nd wife position. It is wrong.

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you can marry as many wives as possible so long you can take care of them my grand father had 9 wives they all lives happily and he died at the age of 99

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is anything right with getting a second wife?

thats where we should begin.

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personally, I think it is not right but on the other hand, it could be justified due to reasons like if the first cannot have kids or she is messing around and not being submissive or not treating her husband right.

my 20 kobo

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Ol' boy the answer to your question is simple. If you found out that your wife has been having an affair with another man and you have no problem with it or you know you would have no problem allowing your wife to go out and have her "fun" with other men whenever she gets bored with you, then it's all good. But if you think you're the only one entitled to spice up your life with a new **ssy, but your wife should not get the same privilege, then 'ol boy, your head no dey house. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Good luck. 

And yes, polygyny might have been part of Naija's past but it doesn't make it okay, nor does it mean the past should not be changed. Maybe you and your wife should look into having an open marriage, like Jada and Will Smith. Although I'm not sure if that was part of her plan when she married you. At least you'll both be fair and honest with each other.  Good Luck again.

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: Big Shishi with all the wives your people married am sure the gap between the marrages was more than one year.

Other men wait like 5 or more.

People will start saying there is something wrong with the first wife.

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dont do it!

polygamy is deh pits of eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil!!!!!

instead marry one wife and have a 1,000 concubines!

its called the way of the HYPOCRITE and it is SECOND NATURE to all us niger-areans!

then u can safely yap and abuse and call all the polygamous ppl out there names yet be smug that ure doing the same thing and ure dumb wife doesnt have a CLUE!!!!

in fact even if she does have a clue she'll pretend not to know cos at least u didnt DISGRACE her by marrying another woman into the house! Afterall what kind of HYPOCRITE would she be if she actually had to ACKNOWLEDGE that her husband cant keep his KPACKS in one KONGO?!??!?!??!

HER OWN KONGO FOR THAT MATTER! the shame!

look, in naija hypocrisy rules!!! Hypocrisy and evil and oju-kokoro!!!! (foolish man, why u dey eye another man food? its ppl like u that chop all the fine gels commot for ground make poor man no fit chop. hisssssssss, )

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marrying two wives is bullshitz and any woman that agrees to play second fiddle is probably a lazy woman or a hoe who is dependent on a man to give her all she needs in life.sayiong you love your wife is a lie because if you love her,you wont contemplate marrying anoda woman because you would be breaking her heart unless your wife is a lazy woman or a hoe.

wake up skywalker b4 you name becomes graverunner

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no Dear,

there is nothing wrong with marrying 2 wives, hmmmmn?

only, know that the more women in ur life, the less ur peace and, the shorter ur life span !

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No offence but I think you are looking at the wrong problem. If you marry this lady now, what's to say that you will not 'fall in love' later with another lady from somewhere?

No, you are addressing the wrong issue, I think you should try and get a cure for the disease that one woman cannot satisfy you

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Well. i agree with Hot-angel. two wifes are trouble am sure u know that.

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Just because alot of people have more than one wife don't mean he should have more than one wife. Do u know wat goes on in those families? I mean the trouble? The hatred? The Problems?

Most of these people u are talking about are stinkingly rich. All they need to do is give the kids a car, a driver, and money money. This guy askin us question is probably just an average man who's income is not more than (i reserve my comment).

I know that polygamy isn't a new thing, but why encourage it when u can stop it? What ever happened to love? You alone for ever? U didn't tell me u alone till my bosom start falling!

Thing is ehn, u r actually the one living in a fantasy world. IN THE REAL WORLD>, TWO WIFE IS TROUBLE! Trust me, no matter how much the families put out to love each other, there's always that inner hatred.

U are in a fantasy world, cos u r thinking about the rich hausa men, and all the rich big big people will the 5 6 4 wives.

Again, i say, forget abt that woman out there, and make things WORK between u and ur wife. If you love that other woman sooooo much, u would have made her ur wife, instead of ur present wife. Think about it, u know ur present wife is better.

Or did they put knife on ur neck to marry ur present wife? Mmbanu, i didn't think so!!!

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Infact everything is wrong with gettin a second wife. Everything

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O Boy skywalker,

its you that something is wrong with, not just in marrying her.

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Geez! Hell ya! A whole lot of things are wrong with a second wife. I can't believe that you are asking that here. Others have responded appropriately. You are an adult, and if anything you should be looking more at yourself if this is what you want to do. You have barely been married, and you are thinking about a second wife. How are you even sure your current wife will put up with that? In this day an age, people are still talking about second wife, na war oh! One wife and kids is a major responsibility, add another one(what for) you just magnify the issue. I am not even sure you should have married in the first case.

Good luck to you bro!

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I strongly agree with twinstaiye here,  many of the ladies here will not tell you the truth. The best answer they will give you will be emotionally ladened, yet how many of them are saying they can't be second wife and they still date married men. There are folks who has 4 wives and they are all living in peace , there are folks who has 2 even 1 and yet their home is hell on earth. The difference is how you choose to plan your life. And be sure that your wife must be happy at all times, if the happiness in your life, and in your home will be at stake  guy don't even think about it but if you knowyou are up to the task of balancing an uneven equation then why not go ahead, you won't be the first and you will never be the last to try it out. I don't think I want to have 2 wives but like they say the person who's still alive does not know the kind of death that will kill him. Good Luck.

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H-angel, thumbs up. I needn't say more.

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Skywalker, you wont get a good advice here. Your type of questions is best thrown to friends, elderly or even close confidants and certainly not in public like this. You see, Nigerians are the greatest pretenders, whilst they are in the same scenarios as you are, they will give you different advice especially those that people would like to hear or listen to. One truth is that, of those ladies who will condemn your actions here, some will not mind being a second wife, so long as she thinks you can take good care of her. As for my own candid opinion, while I dont see anything wrong in having a second wife because a lots of our ladies are without fiance nowadays because lots of men develop cold feet when the issue of marriage come up, at the same time, I will suggest you think very well about it because like my people used to say, 1 wife is two problem and 2 wife is four problem. Best of luck pal.

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