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Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late?

Happy holiday NLs'!!

Just wanna know y'all opinions! There is a lot of pressure mostly especially Nigeria women to get married before they turn 25. Is is too late to get married in your late twenties, early thirties?

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154 answers

One reasonable submission was the guy that said something about left over men and woman in China who refused to get married early and are now desperate for companionship. At 30, in our culture (not just in our culture alone), a woman is considered old.

What's a woman still doing as a single lady at 30 years old. At that point, you will even get little or no attention from men. At 30 a woman is at most gainfully employed and many men will go after her wealth.

At 30, a woman's beauty that is naturally meant to make her appealing for marriage is highly deprecated. You become a burden and a victim of many prayer homes and prophets. It's then you start looking for husband instead of the reverse.

The issue of menopause is another factor.

It's not surprising that many girls on this thread wants to stay as old as Rita Dominic before getting married, it's the influence of the crazy world we live in (someone calls it end time things). Girls don't want to be deprived pf their freedom of sleeping with men of their choice. They feel marriage is imprisonment. they want celebrity and paparazzi life even when they are nobody.

Keep waiting until you are 35, then you can become Chris Ojigbani's members keeping tabs on all the marriage programmes he holds around the world.

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hmmmmm imo no i don't think so. whats the difference? 5 years? that doesnt seem like much to me.

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Don't agree. Believe it's better to marry at a more mature age to a worthy partner than to marry young because of pressure and afterwards suffer years of abuse and regret. There will still be time enough to have and train the children.

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dated topic but all the same i agree with iiiyyyk.

better to marry early and have time to train your children.

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@iiiyyk, that makes alot of sense!

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The benefits of early marriage far out weights its disadvantage. 21-28 for girls and 28-32 guys.

i feel horrible when i see old parents still struggling to train children after they have retired from service and active business.

Marriage dont break because of age, it break cos of the motivation to marriage.

once it is built on love and fear of God, not riches, fame and societal status. it will succeed.

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I know a Nigerian that had her last child at 38. I think the reason that many women are having infertility problems in Nigeria is either poor health practices or previous (multiple) abortions. That is a big issue there with young college age children. Get married when you are ready like the poster above me says and if you want children that bad and you are married when you can no longer have a child, then adopt a child. Do not bring a child into a bad relationship and hurt their whole perspective on the opposite sex because you and your spouse cannot get along.

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In my opinion, no one should feel forced to marriage. It doesn't really matter for guys unless it is too late like in their late 40's. But ladies should watch out for their ages, don't forget there is menopause!!! yes that is one of the things that rushes us to marriage.

i know ladies who got married in their 30's n gave birth. but it is not always d case. so i say, for ladies it should not pass 33 at least, n 4 guys max @ 38.

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MENOPAUSE (35 and above)

FIBRIOD (the womb must nurse something)

Guys when is it that we active the most: between 23-29 this is when we have the best strength to have the best Sex, at 30 we are off form, we can only try 20's is the time we set the records . Memories sometimes heal wounds, So when u remember we were once sweet u tell us stories we wanna cry and it helps changing beside there nothing wrong with being immature when u can grow together. Love is sweet!!! When there is love, AGE is Nothing

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Lol!george u re blessed already,oya receive more blessings!

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@zayhal,may God almighty bless u

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jeebeewell,

no  mind nollywood and all those their archaic forced marriage stereotypes!

i think they're mostly responsible for peddling such false impression.

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But why all these allegations about Naija pressurizing the women folks to get marry.

Every woman has a choice either to get marry or stay on married.

The biological clock is what is pressurizing these women and this thing is obtainable all over the world.

There is no law that says marriage is a must in Nigeria.

It is just man's fulfilment of creation obligation.

YOU GUYS SHOULD STOP LAYING DIRTY ALLEGATION AGAINST NIGERIA

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'Hoe' means a tool fo farming, not w.h.o.r.e.

@topic

The earlier a woman gets married the better for her and her kids. Women who have children at older ages put those children t risks of certain diseases e.g downs syndrome.

I think 21-26 is ok for females

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did yoruba people really say if it's time for a child to have a "hoe" (pros.titute), he should have it?

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For ladies,23-28

Guys,30-35

With prayers,focus and submissiont to d will of God it can happen,I agree with goerge d,my father always tell us his female children,dt after ur first degree,there's nothing else u want to achieve int his world dt u can't,in ur husband's house,if na phd o,go do am for him house.

My eldest sis is a living example,highly successful n all,pursued so many thing academically n career wise and at d same time having children.Of course with a supportive and understanding husband.the reason wwhy I said all this is cos of some of us ladies that blve they av to achieve everything before getting married.and at the same time am not saying anybody should rush into marriage,but thereks time for everytin.

Like d yorubas will say,"if its time for a child to av a hoe,he should have it"

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For the ladies 25 - 30

For the guys 30 - 40

so you can grow old together

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lol at the left over men or women

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Seeking for such an advice from a quiet old single folk,

HE/SHE WILL CERTAIN ADVICE YOU NOT TO RUSH INTO MARRIAGE,

Who told you that am rushing by marrying @ the rite age?

Or it is when you wait till no one in interested in you, that you end up accepting any possible chance that it became prudence?

Who then is rushing, ?

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Why don't you just say the truth ?

The real problem with ladies these days is that most of them

feel their teenage years will never end yet they want to be respected

as a madam.

Well, you can't have the best of the two worlds.You either remain

single (even at age Thirty)or you get to your marital home with immediate

effect.

I'm talking from experience because l married my wife when she was already

27 years of age.However,we were met with many problems because we had a

least two miscarriages,one still-birth and two living teenagers to show for our

marriage.

My wife is now 50 years of age and she stopped menstruating many years ago

we she was in her mid-forties.

I agree everybody's body chemistry is not the same,but there is also what we

call body clock for women.You can never continue to have your eggs forever

and ever.It will finish one day for sure.

Be realistic.Get married when you can still get the fruits of the womb with great

joy to every person concerned - including your parents and in-laws.

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It alriught to get married at that age. ALot of people rush into marriage and in the end they got divorced.

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I know this is an older topic, but,

I don't think most of you really think about what you want in life, there's no right or wrong age for people to marry, but personally in my opinion, 20s no, but 30s yes.

Most people today just treat marriage and babies as a fanshon, they look what other people have and just say "i want that too!". Which to me is a big mistake, you should do it because YOU want it and when you are ready.

George_D, everyone has their own opinions, so stop disagreeing with everyone, just because you probably got married very young and probably have children, doesn't mean everyone else should follow.

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so wen sud women get married eh, in their early teens like 13 or14

leave woman, wat about man

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Getting married in your twenties is too early,

why not wait until you're in your late twenties or early thirties.

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For goodness sake, here we go again. When are we ever going to learn that we should never keep check of our life existance against numbers. Young and old people we must learn to live and let live. You are not half human because you've just turned 25 and not married let alone have a boyfriend not to mention a guy who gives you that second look, same for guys. If its what you want then it will happen when it happens. Just live and never be stuck in the mud, For Christ sake please stop it this is so tired,

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I thnk its ol about maturity, um 25, ol my frnds hv either kids or r married! at sum point u fil the pressure of hvn either, bt tld maslf i hv 2 fil dat um ready rather tha js joining the crew, bt i fil i'm ready to be a mother nw bcz i hv alwys wantd 2 hv ol my kids b4 um 30! so its ol bout personal choice @ the end of the day!

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fhemmmy, the reality of life is this: you don't get what your not looking for.

that is a heavy statement but i'm sure you get my drift.

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I totally disagree with that.

If the woman was really looking for a man and now, cos she is in school and she see a real man and not just a dikchead oh, she will jump at it, but the real man will not expect her to quit the school and just marry.

That will be a bad move, such man will help the lady to get the best out of her and now be happy together.

I think the problem is that most men are afraid of educated ladies, cos they think they will lose control

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well, that may be true for usa and europe, but in africa sadly it is. lets get real.

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I should add here that life is graver than the we make of it.

and if u marry the wrong man/woman it could cost your ur peace on earth and u life

- i mean after life.

e.g

from the bible - for christian i mean - jezebel probably married king ahab early with all fanfare- but ahab was led astray ,he killed naboth and took his vine yard all because

his wife HAD A HOLD ON HIM.women have a hold on men and control them in ways

their peers cant. at the end,ahab's body was eaten by dogs he never got a proper burial.so the wife or husband u chose affects - ur future.

let me get more contemporary.

Madame currie the renowned scientist ,who discovered the metal , i think,plutonium

was married to a fellow scientist,their union was so powerful!! i think they bagged the nobel price in chemistry or so,back to back.

so i see marriage as a synergistic union that makes 2 people greater than the their individual best.

if ur life has been rosy before marriage,when u get married it should be exponentially better- u should be richer,healthier etc.

so marraige is good and a good thing,whats wrong with enjoying it early or when u want.

then on the other side.it depends on how long u have 'left',no one will live forever.

for someone who'll live to be 80,marrying at 40 is no big deal,and if the couples live so long,they enjoy the journey together.

but for one who may not live too long,kicking the bucket early,

like before 40,then marraige at 25 is an attempt to suck all the juice life on their lifes nectar before the light goes out.

that's the fact of life.so

its all about how long u gat to be hear.

read of a 90 year old man who completed high school!!

was he too old to go to school!!

i don't know , he still had the desire to be educated at 80 and he acted to fulfill his desire - that it.

but they are many who never lived so long.

so we can't be talking like we gat all the day long,

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I beleive is pretty cool to marry early if you are emotionally, spritually and finacially ready. It is not necessary for u to be 30 or 40 b4 you can see beyond your nose. some people get more mature mentally physically as early as their 20s

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Marriage is not meant for babies but i also believe age is a number it take more than age to be married,b careful most especially woman ur what u make your marriage.

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i believe no woman in the right state of mind and body wants to marry late.

Even though so many of us want to build our career, that wld not stop us jumping into marriage whenever we see the right suitor.

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N101 , waiting and doing something useful with your life are relative terms usually lost in translation. most times we find that while trying to 'do something useful with their lives' ladies become so engrossed with what they're doing that time finally passes them by. this is reality.

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George-otukpo, while i agree with you that it is not intentional in all cases, still a great majority of ladies these days think marriage should come second while pursuing their career.

THANK GOD MANY LADIED ARE THINKING DAT WAY

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George, see the response to your post from Fhemmmy.

The fact many people miss is that women pursue a career because marriage isn't on the horizon - should she stand still and put her life on hold until someone turns up?   When the right man comes along see how quickly she will abandon it all!

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Yes . . .cos they are not from Russia, and rush in is run out.

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Wait for the right person.

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I have come to know that something you try too hard to get, always get the wrong one.

Love will always come to you, if you are patient, however, while waiting, do something with your life

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otukpo, while i agree with you that it is not intentional in all cases, still a great majority of ladies these days think marriage should come second while pursuing their career.

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@koolchico: Interesting movie. But it reeks of more brainwashing and propaganda than a World War II Nazi movie.

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Some women sure need attitudinal change to avoid late marriages, irrespective of their ages.

Watch this:

[flash=425,344]

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O dear! you just made my heart glad.

A lot of people just want to go into marriage for better and for best.

But from a lot of experiences around us today we see that there are trying times.

If one is sincere that one would stand by ones partner then carry go, one is ready for marriage

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Funny thread!!!!

I would say that whenever you wake up is your morning, marriage is not a race,competition or short long term relationship. It's a life term thing so care must be taken (Mental maturity) to know what you're about getting into.

Chinese marry at the age of 19,22,23 or 25 but usually divorce at the age of 35.

www.afialink.com

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My brother thanks alot for your commendations.

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Marriage is God's arrangement,though marrying on time is very good,one dont need to rush into marriage just because others are getting married.Marriage is more than just a romantic relationship,it requires proper care when choosing a life mate,so that there wont be any regret at last.

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Made una leave this kind yeye issue come face naija matter. which hope and future una dey look. Oyibo self no dey again. Ageg e

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get married when u have someone u honestly cant hurt no matter how angry or depressed u are.

someone ure not ashamed of any time of the day.

someone u truly can obey and submit to despite trying times e.g if he has lost his job.

someone who sees and make decisions and comments intelligently.

one that is not afraid of commitments or worse still posseses the quit syndrome.

if ur partner has all that and more and u posess them too,

then  maybe u are ready for the smooth and sometimes bumpy road of marriage

age 20/30 not witstanding

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My own ideas may not sound interesting or simply unreasonable to some.

--------------------------------

In my own opinion, age is not a deciding factor when it comes to getting married. The only thing I put into consideration is lives comfort.

I do not intend to get married when I am starving or incapable of caring for my either the and both the kids.

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It's not all about getting married but staying married.

When u rush in; u'll definetely rush out, its all about ur mind set/maturity.

I can be 18 and yet be able to handle family matters that a lady of 30 can't handle. It's also a gift, some may try hard to cope and and handle certain issues in marriage. yet fail to do well in it.

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