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Is It Good To Have Extra-Marital Affairs?

please i need an advice on how to handle this issue,i have an anty friend who is nice and wonderful and she is married.only for me to found out that she is having extra marital affairs,which i hate i don't know how to talk to her so that she will not feel insulted.house i need an advice

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52 answers

Not good but difficult not to

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It is really bad. You can approach her in a very polite way and advice without portraying any holier than thou. You can also look for a book on that topic and present it to her.

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It is not too good for the family. One of the bitter realities of life. I pray she stops b4,

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live her alone she is an adult and knows whats gud and bad ok! she might take in a different way if u talk to her.

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very correct my Dear, thats why they have to be taught to know that what they abandoned to go outside is also desired by another man out there, let them feel the pain you felt when you found out they have cheated too.

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do you want her husband to find out and send her packing? If you love her talk to her in apolite manner. dont use and accusing tone. U can ask her questions relating to that or ask her to advice u on so, so and so. Through u get into her and talk to her with respect.

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I think you didnt get me right,

i didnt mean that the man is allowed to have extra maritial affaires and the woman isnt.

NONE is - that is my opinion, and if one (no matther if the man or the woman) thinks he needs that, than

i prefer being alone,

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udode you are very correct cos i tell you, there is nothing like do me i do you in marriage especially extramarital affair.a man can do it and get away with it,but that of a woman wont be taken lightly when everything is out in the open

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Extra marital affair is good when necessary;

I mean when your husband is cheating. Tit for Tat;

Do me I do you man no go vess

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In as much as I dont support extra marital affairs, I also will have to say that most of them is as a result of the mans actions.

I have come across a very faithful, devoted, caring, loving,and commited house wife, who trusted and loved the husband very well, but one day she found out that the husband have been cheating, she confronted the man and he admitted, she wept so profusely and vowed to retaliate , she saw saw her self as a fool and wished she never loved the man from the beginning, today as am typing this, this woman never believed any word that comes out of her husband and even engaged in some extra marital affair.

She is my friend though, I have been trying to talk sense into her but she said she refused to be intimidated and will do any thing she can to keep her self happy at all times, I have even given up because I found out she is happy with what she is doing.

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]

So extra marital acts bring happiness?[/font]

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Let me dish u out from my cheating experience.

1 Every body has the tendancy to cheat in the face of temptation. Just that some ppl are weaker that others.

2 Every body must have a reason to cheat - physical, material, etc

3 Every body falls in to one of these categories of cheaters; Cheaters with conscience and cheaters without it.

4 Some ppl are born cheaters

What am saying from these 3 points is that, you have to know her (cheater) within these points. That means you have alot of information to find out and some, am sure u may neva be able to find out.

There are the only two things u can do; find out details or make her tell you herself. Otherwise forget doin anything at all. DONT FORGET HOW JESUS WAS CRUSIFIED OUT OF IGNORANCE

U CAN END HER MARRIAGE

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I do feel for your friend, however, no one can make u do what you dont wanna do or something that you dont have in you already.

Your friend might have always wanna cheat, but never did, and now seeing this as an excuse to work are coochie.

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In as much as I dont support extra marital affairs, I also will have to say that most of them is as a result of the mans actions.

I have come across a very faithful, devoted, caring, loving,and commited house wife, who trusted and loved the husband very well, but one day she found out that the husband have been cheating, she confronted the man and he admitted, she wept so profusely and vowed to retaliate , she saw saw her self as a fool and wished she never loved the man from the beginning, today as am typing this, this woman never believed any word that comes out of her husband and even engaged in some extra marital affair.

She is my friend though, I have been trying to talk sense into her but she said she refused to be intimidated and will do any thing she can to keep her self happy at all times, I have even given up because I found out she is happy with what she is doing.

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pls, pray 4 the lady she needs prayer 4 her eye to be opened. then be closer to her in love listen to her to know some deeply things she might be passing tru.

dont open confrontational discussion with her.

thanks.

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@ Poster,

Just mind ur own business but, you can also pray for her. Take this

1 Thessalonians 4:11 1Th 4:11

4:11 (i) And that ye study to be quiet, (ii) and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

(MEANING)

(i) He condemns unsettled minds, and such as are curious in matters which do not concern them.

(ii) He rebukes idleness and slothfulness: and whoever is given to these vices, fall into other wickedness, to the great offence of the Church.

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One fit pray make Satan no do hin work nee? Extra sex (not only sex driven though, money fit don finish) from outside is in vogue and will continue to increase. Just get what u want from inside and get the remaining ones from outside. I always kick against spending one's resources on one-day nuptials. No one is worth it! All na rubbish and no one makes heaven sef. No one!

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pray to God on her behalf.

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pray to God on her behalf.

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Poster

Mind your own business!

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@POSTER

its always wrong to have extra marital affairs, get out the marriage if its that bad

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Extra marital affair is not a good thing.You hould speak to your aunt about it.Unfortunately,many of us are afraid of failure or rejection,so we simply do not try and we dissuade others even more forcefully from trying.People change everyday.If we're just to imagine that every adult knows what is right and doesn't need to be told,how do we get things right?what if when you were in school,you just imagined that your parents knew what was right for you and then you did not bother telling them what you needed to be done?Looking the other side when you see things wrong anywhere(on the streets,in the bus,at home,inthe hostel) is a show of wickedness and weakness.Learn to correct others in love.Don't be selfish.You pick up courage and tell her respectfully and with aim/attitude to correct her not to insult her or blackmail/threaten her.Also watch,in case she's like that lady that wants to pour hot water.If there's no trial,there can't be success

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Yes silence is golden baby. Keep ur silence. She is your aunt and not your wife. When her cup is full her husband will get to know.Until then keep your distance and leave her with her affairs

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Honestly Sisterwoman I think you of all people should be able to understand why this woman is cheating and what advice she may need.

I feel sorry for the poster this is a sticky situation and its very easy for us to all point fingers and condemn your Aunt to hell but unless you catch her in the act I suggest you stay silent. And maybe put some distance between you and your aunt if you feel uncomfortable.

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Na wa o.

One cheating woman is generating all this discussion; but for a cheating man, the world is contented to turn a blind eye ba? Woman don suffer o!

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If you read all of my posts you will note I say:

The bolded part above implies that I (Sistawoman) Dont believe in cheating.

How is that a woman w/o morals.

Reading is fundamental and comprehension is essential.

I am saying just about the exact same thing as saturnjay.

If you know me then you know that I believe everything done in the dark will come to light.  If her husband does not know of her cheating ways then he will find out in due time.

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Mind ya business.

May be the husband cannot do am well and they agreed for the wife to get it from outside.

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Its true you never know what goes on in a marriage unless you are either God, or the Husband or the Wife, Sometimes you could be either Husband or Wife and still not know whats cooking.

My advice to u poster is to pray for her, she knows its bad no point reminding her, you could be risking ur life. Women can go to any length to cover it up.

And its not always the husband's fault. Women that were whores b4 marriage will continue to be so.

You cant turn a LovePeddler into a house wife, never done.

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@Sistawoman

your ways are not straight. Learn to condemn what is bad even if you indulge in it. your responses always give impression of a weird woman without morals

@poster

Be very careful; this is a life and death issue.

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1) you should tell her husband!

or 2) confront her

or 3) mind your business (i like this better)

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Expose the biatch one time!

You need to let her know how you feel, and if she doesn't get it, just avoid her (before she poisons you) and expose her with solid evidence, e.g., pictures, voice-recordings, emails, etc. Plan to get the evidence before telling her how you feel. Also, be prepared for permanent distance between you, especially if she excuses her whorish lifestyle and tries to defend the indefensible. In summary:

1. Gather solid evidence

2. Have a discussion with her on why you feel the way you feel and some explanation for her adultery

3. Keenly observe her reaction (very difficult, but try)

4. If she wants to keep behaving like a misguided teenager, walk away and use the evidence to expose her!

5. If she decides to change, still walk away (she may be planning to eliminate you), observe from a distance, but keep your evidence well guarded; don't expose her if she's truly changed.

If she knows you've found out what she's doing, your life may still be in danger even without you doing anything. Some whores will take the life of would-be whistle blowers if they suspect you could expose their nefarious activities.

Be very careful!

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@Poster

Amebo. Mind ur own business

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hmm! dont we all want to learn?

pls share publicly and a lot of peeps could learn. abi e get another koko wey dey behind the pepper?

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mmababy! mmababy!! mmababy!!! how times did i called you, ? Please don't tell her anything for these reasons:

1. She is going to deny because you didn't catch her red-handed and she knows is a filthy thing to do in a marriage, she knows the implications more than you do, even she would deny if her husband ask her that kind of a thing not to talk of you.

2. You can never know what is happening in a marriage except you that peron, she has a reason for doing it, everything is done for a reason and personally i am blaming the husband. I always blame the husband when the wife is flirting around, you know why, i am married and i will tell you, it is either she is adulterating in revenge for what her husband is doing with other people's woman or the husband is not committed to her/children/home/family or the husband is not satisfaying her sexually or the husband is not her best friend or the husband is not meeting up with his financial responsibility or the husband and he wife are not in love.

3. Marriage treats individual individually

The husband is to be blamed, please get back to me on these issues, find out any of the traces for the second reason from the husband sides and i will tell you how to help her without confronting her, i will tell you how to make her feel guilty and confess to you.

please get back to me: adenijitajudeen@yahoo.com

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Depends on ur relationship with her. If your're cool and she gives you advice as well, why not? just be careful with the way you put it out.

Dont try it if she's your in-law o., abeg

I would talk to a close friend of mine who was creeping.

By the way, try this line:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anty, mo gbo pe on gbe ise ni angle 90 beer parlour. .Ja wo nibe . . .arinka nja bata

ma sooo o, ma rohin o

maa sooo yee . . . . . . . . .

___________________________________

just make sure there's no hot water around o

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@ poster

Obviously, It's gud to v extral marital affairs but wen u gt nicked then it's better.

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Then you dont know me very well.

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i will like to give you some little advice mr Poster,

dont mind that sistawoman, i think she may be doing the same, the best thing is to call her and tell her that in a sensible manner.

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wow! i agree with what some of the members of the house have said: "it's wrong to have extra-marital affair(s)"

however, your telling her or discussing it with her is the issue.

1. what's ur relationship with her like? cordial? and i mean how she takes u, not how u take her.

2. do u see urself discussing the issue with her or just telling her that it's wrong?

3. do u think the situation can change or u just want her to know that it's wrong?

4. have u being praying for her since u discovered the happenings?

5. are there kids in this family?

anyway, with whatsoever information u have, the motive, presentation/packaging and solution/suggestion/follow-up would determine whether the result is good or not.

my 2 cents.

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I dont mean any harm, but i would slap you and tell you to go mind your business little boy.

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You should faced her.If she was my aunty I will sit down and talk to her.let her know that what she is doing is not right in the eyes of God.

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It is not that we dont know what is right or wrong. The problem is that it is not my business. Just because I think something is moral offensive to me and something I would not do, I am not walking in thier shoes.

No one, except for GOD, knows what is going on in a marriage. No one knows what conversations they have had, what understandings they have reached or what damage has been done.

I dont mess with other folks homes, unless they come to me for advice. If it does not directly effect me or mines then keep that mess to yourself and sort it out there.

I would cuss my niece out if she came to me wanting to talk to me about my cheating ways. Mind your business.

What is it that they say: dont swallow pidol for someone elses cramps.

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@poster

do what you know is right, if you think telling her is okay no problem but if you think telling her is a bad idea then dont do it, the ball is in your court to play

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i bet if this was a man most of you will be rightly saying how obscene he is. would u like to be cheated on?

in my book every cheater is a scum and disgrace.

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@ poster

Mind your business

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Do you want her to redesign ur face wif hot water? What's ur problem wif dat? Could it be dat de husband is ur brother?

Mma, stay out!

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Do you want her to redesign ur face wif hot water? What's ur problem wif dat? Could it be dat de husband is ur brother?

Mma, stay out!

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Do you want her to redesign ur face wif hot water? What's ur problem wif dat? Could it be dat de husband is ur brother?

Mma, stay out!

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