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Is It Love For A Man To Give Up His Surname For His Wife's?

hey, people. i want to know if any man could do this: get married to his lovey and then start carrying her surname as the new name of the family.

e.g Mr J Smith marries Miss P. Wallace = Mr & Mr Wallace.

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55 answers

lol as a woman illd say its a huuuuge indication of the reverse of roles in the relationship

weird to say the least

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that is colossal madness in bold and italics with a phd and mfr

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It is just a name, if the man prefers the wife's name why not?

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So who is marrying who ? Thats absolutely madness !

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I will never drop my surname for anybody.

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Firstly i am the sort of guy that if the woman wants to keep her surname its fine by me .However the environment will probably make her uneasy with constant asking why she did this for the rest of her life but its her problem not mine.If she can cope with it then so be it.

However before women start proclaiming that they want their men to change the name espically in nigeria they should first be ready to make other changes .

If you insist the man pays bride price then you have no buisness even asking.

Many Nigerian women are quick at always looking to adopt cultural ties of the western world but when it does not favour them they quickly readopt it.Take white wedding reception for instance.Taken off the white man and when they found out that the woman's family pays for it they quickly reverted it to be the man's problem!

Before i even accept taking a woman name then she needs to take the responsibilies that comes with it.

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I see you're Scottish.

Pray, how many men in Scotland do you know who have taken their wives' names?

No yarn us tory o

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Happens all the time in Scotland (where I live) & (Ireland, where my father is from) were traditionally the most 'important' families name will be taken.

i.e. A man named McLaughton marrying a women from the Gunn clan would have been expected to and would have wanted to take on the more wealth and powerful clan name .There by giving his children a better start in life. Has to be said though that this is not the reason it goes on now but it is the background.

Quite common now for a young married couple to take on a totally new family name.

If a man marries a women with no brothers and he (the man) has many I think it is a pure act of love to take on her family name so that the family name lives on and does not die. Although I think that it would be very hard for a man to do so in Nigeria, as we are not an open minded nation.

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depend also on the man's background if it is a culture where it dosent matter

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4 a real 9ja man? na lie dat one no fit happen.

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If you are a Nigerian it will definately be a no no.

In Nija we have too many traditions and customs and any man that does that, brings shame on his family - his father may even disown him.

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It is a total aberation both cultural and otherwise.I've heard such things being practised within sum ethnic groups but if u ask me,i'd say it is repugnant to everything sanity stands for.

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It is not sick,@swiftycool, but an abberation from our culture for a man to take on his wife's last name.

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Ronke 2811.

You quoted a Bible verse but your comment did not substantiate your quote. The Bible asked the man to leave and cleave; how come the world we live in today ask women to leave and cleave not just to the man but his name (even if it is Sangogbemi) and his ideology (even if it is whimsical)?

Ndipe, Pash,

Did Jesus Christ not give up His name, personality etc for love? How come we now believe some things are unheard of in the name of love?

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ORISHIRISHI, WETIN WE NO GO SEE FOR THIS WORLD

THE BIBLE SAYS A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FAMILY, CLEAVE UNTO HIS WIFE AND THEY SHALL BECOME ONE NOT VICE VERSA.

THE DAY THIS BEGING TO HAPPEN I WILL CONSIDER IT AT THE EIGHT WONDERS OF THE EARTH.

IT IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY FOR ANY GUY TO TAKE THAT OPTION, BUT YOU KNOW SOME GUYS EYE DEY CHOOK FOR MONEY.

BUT THE DAY MY BROTHERS DO THIS UNGODLY ACT, I WILL PERSONALLY DISOWNED THEM

SHEKINAH

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The way some people interprete the word LOVE is really sickening. There are certain laid down standards in life that help in establishing a society. When we start tampering with these standards then we are destroying the very frabic of the society. One day, some people are going to ask their husbands to get pregnant for them.

There are some certain things I will never do if it's a requirement to prove my love. Too me it's like the devil tempting Jesus by asking him to jump if he's truly the son of God. It was pure temptation. The devil himself knew that Jesus is the true son of God.

Any day my wife begins to doubt my love and ask me to fulfil certain conditions in order to prove it, I WILL NOT DO IT.

Ndipe's comment

@Rotweiller, you cant even compare the temptation of Jesus Christ by satan with a woman's insistence that a man should change his name to her last name. Vastly different, and not worth comparing. True, we live in a paternalistic society, but this trend of adopting both names is not uncommon nowadays in the USA. Of course, I dont endorse it, it is an anomaly.

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I begin to wonder how Seun reasons! Seun, what the heck are u talking about?

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The woman should be submissive therefore she has no right to do such thing.

In this Country no man can do it.Even the blind.

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well its a normal thing in Germany.

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that just totally wrong, either they add both of their surname together or the wife should use her husband name

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Babwilms did u call it Nonsense, as 4 me i don't no what to call it maybe madness. for what money or extra life.

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I know people who have done it and I am surprised at the level of sexists drivel that we as Africans still perpetuate. If a man wants to give up his name for his wife, that's his business. It's not necessarily about love but respect and equality, something that seems to be missing when our society talk about women. We seem to enjoy perpetuating the one-sided inequalities that plaque women in our society. No one person's name is more important than the other and any man comfortable enough in his own skin to defy the laws society has constructed will get their share of respect from me. So no, if women can give up their name, there's nothing wrong with men giving up their name too, so long as both partners have these same progressive mentality and they're not at opposite ends on the issue.

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Well I’ve seen it happen; don’t ask me if the guy is African or not. The guy adopted his wife’s surname because he felt the name sounded better than his and since he loved her he did not feel that would reduce his manhood sorry manliness. The unfortunate part is, when they divorced the guy really wanted to retain the name but… Why did I say unfortunate? Aren’t women always caught between dropping or retaining the surname when something goes wrong?

A number of us preach the Bible and believe in it but go back and read there’s no place where a woman or man had to take on the others’ surname. No “Eve Adam” and no “Abraham Sarah”. I guess it’s a tradition that makes ownership tick and men believe they should own (but not be owned by) women.

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BOLEX

aBI WHAT IS THAT YR NAME .I SAW W-E-N---------------------

FOR CLICKING ON A LINK ON YOUR PAGE.I HAVE PROMISED NOT TO CLICK ON ANY LINK AGAIN .

THANK U, IT WAS A HECTIC FUN

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i wonder wetin the woman give me chop wey go make me change my surname for hers.then i be outcast.people contribute to this ya all that is familiar with our home videos.Olu Jacobs married to joke silva.wat is that?why did she refuse to be jocobs.guy una go allow that poo?after all the cash wey i pay for her head?

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Wat kind of luv wud dat be? Dat's d height of stupidity esp in a country like Nigeria. Thankyou

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Definately such a thing cannot happen among the AFRICAN COUNTRIES.

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Well i always think there is no big deal to what happens in this world, but giving up ur name is not too logical to me.

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Good luck justifying the reason you gave up your last name to your family.

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Everything that a woman does in the marriage is considered wrong, like this topic. Anyways now adays, one can keep his/her surname.

I wouldn't wanna change my surname like that, may be add to it and delete if it aint working out.

u never know, anything can go wrong and for all u know, u'll b stuck wit that surname.

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i sincerely hope n pray it doesnt happen, even if na curse.

u no wat?, i tried readin the story thru in d dailies but couldnt phantom d reasoon d man could be so "love-blinded" to such extent.

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Not only is it abnormal, but it is not Biblical either. The woman ought to remember that the Man is the head of the household

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God forbid bad thing.

Honestly that will be very silly for a man to do such a thing.

And for the woman to let his Husband change his surname for

one reason or the other will be too bad.

I will and can never do that.

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not Done! Definately Not In Nigeria!

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Jst like ROTT said, love is being interpreted as so many unlikely things. People do silly unthinkable things saying its love. Na wa!

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Jst like ROTT said, love is being interpreted as so many unlikely things. People do silly unthinkable things saying its love. Na wa!

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it cant fit happen! which kain love be dt, even though i reason with those that say for economical circumstances they can change it but for moi, oh economical o, ko ekonomikal oo, aint changing my name to my wife's cus men, we never can tell how far u ll go with ur name ooo, if obj had changed his name to Abebe, boya by now, he would be working in the creeks.

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@otolarin

it would have been nice for you to give us a gist of the surrounding circumstances that would warrang the man giving up his surnname for his wife.

In maternal societies, such happens. In Ghana for example, I heard that children bear the surnname of their mother, because of some ancient history behind the woman as the head of the family.

hey, where are the Ghananians on this forum, pls give us more of the gist.

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What is the meaning of that? It's not love, it's rubbish!

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its hard though for a man.

@O4real

no hard feelin, bro am just sayin its not that easy.

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Good talk Rottweiler! I been no even read your post before posting mine!

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if the love reach say him go give up him last name and take up the wife's, he might as well carry the pregnancy! bullshit!

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The way some people interprete the word LOVE is really sickening. There are certain laid down standards in life that help in establishing a society. When we start tampering with these standards then we are destroying the very frabic of the society. One day, some people are going to ask their husbands to get pregnant for them.

There are some certain things I will never do if it's a requirement to prove my love. Too me it's like the devil tempting Jesus by asking him to jump if he's truly the son of God. It was pure temptation. The devil himself knew that Jesus is the true son of God.

Any day my wife begins to doubt my love and ask me to fulfil certain conditions in order to prove it, I WILL NOT DO IT.

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yaa nothing is impossible, things like this do happen but as for me, i wont do it take up my wifes family name

if you are from the easthen part of the county you will understand what it means to abandon your fathers name

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Well, I can do it. Why not? of course, there must be a reason.

And babymine, don't give me that "submission" line. We are not all disciples of Apostle Paul. An enterprising woman is more appealing than a nagging doormat.

Is it love? No, it's just 21st century pragmatism. Male superiority complex is now unfashionable.

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