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Is It Necessary To Spank Children?

I don't really believe in corporal punishment but it seems as though some children only respond to spankings. However, I believe that this is the way to instill values into a child. Beating them only creates fear not respect. I got spankings from my Mom and I turned out fine but I also know people who never got spanked and they turned out fine too? Is it really neccessary then?

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79 answers

As a last resort. We spend a lot of time talking to the kids before resorting to smacking. As they have now become teenagers, we explain what was wrong with their behaviour and why they are being punished and do things like take away their pocket money or ground them.

When they were younger smacking seemed the easiest deterrent until they became old enough to talk to. I have not smacked my eldest since he was 10.

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I receive the UCB daily devotional by Email and this arrived to day. I was blessed by it and thought I would share it.

19 Jan 2010

Correct your child

, a father corrects a child in whom he delights. Proverbs 3:12

You're destroying your child's motivation and self-esteem when you allow them to think they don't have to work for anything because it's 'owed' to them.

The story's told of a telemarketer who phoned a house, saying: 'I'd like to talk to the person who makes the final purchasing decisions for the family.' The woman replied, 'I'm sorry, that person is still at kindergarten and won't be home for another hour.' Cute story, but not so cute when it is reality.

Parent, love your child, provide them with opportunity and a secure home environment, but teach them to be responsible. This sounds like a no-brainer; so why don't we do it? 1) Misguided love. We say, 'My kids shouldn't have to struggle like I did.' Your children interpret that kind of indulgence as lack of interest; you taking the easy way out.

As a result their demands increase because what they're really saying is, 'I don't really want more stuff, I want you!' 2) Low expectations. As a parent you owe your children a chance to excel in life.

Don't rob them of the fulfilment that comes from working hard to improve their grades, clean their room and earn their way. 3) Guilt. We all feel bad about not spending enough time with our kids, or having failed them.

One seventeen-year-old told her dad that he 'owed' her a car. And she got it! Why? Because her parents were divorced and Dad felt bad about 'letting her down.' Don't try to buy your child's affection, you'll only end up paying later. God corrects His children; you need to correct yours!

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Yeah. . .it's necessary.If you doubt is, ask Umar Farouck Muttalab.If that kid had been smacked a few good times during his childhood, he wouldn't even think of blowing himself up.The most troublesome adults in the world today and spoilt kids.Look at britney spears. . .look at how she messed herself up during her marriage,divorce and even after.She just couldnt help herself coz she's a spoilt brat.Look at Paris Hilton.It's only of recent that she's been showing some discipline.Not too long ago, the media was always filled with pictures of her opening up her private parts for the paparazzi.How about Nigeria? Go to Abuja and see how the children of the rich use the roads as "auto racing tracks".A lot of people have died and a lot of people are handicapped because of these kids but hey. . .they are kids of the influential and nothing can be done about it.

Compare a child raised abroad and a child raised here. . .you will see a big difference (poverty issues aside).Even an area boy in Nigeria gets back to his homegrown senses after leaving the streets and is better behaved than a kid from an average family in the western hemisphere.

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positive reinforcment works better then negative

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It is not necessary, but it is aiight, as long as it is done for discipline and the kid knows why it is being given to them

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It is very very necessary to spank, beat or even punish a child when he/she does what is wrong so that they will realize their mistakes and correct it and will not do it next time.

i think thats one of the way i will show my children love as a mother.

i will never spare the rod and spoil my child.

NO!

After all, my Bible said i should "Train up a child the way he should go, so that when he is old who will not depart from it." it also says "Displine your Child if you love Him/Her.

i was spanked, beaten and punished by my parents, brothers and sisters and it helps me alot. I even thank God for the training i received from them so will i do the same to my children for normal home training.

Thanks love you all

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I so agree with d above quote!

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@topic,

This our generation is something else. At one point or the other you need to spank a child.

Don't spank anyhow but when you need to,pls don't spare the rod lest you spoil the child.

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I received alot of beating when i was a child,but children these days needs alot advice not much spanking because they what is on their mind even if you spank them.

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Foolishness is bound in the heart of a CHILD but the rod of correction drives it far from him

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you have issues if ur kids stop learning or listening.

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u suppose fear fear naaa,y will i not spank d living daylight out of my stubborn child,all because i live in d western world or what,any child that deserves it should be given abeg,kids of this days are so stubborn that it is only when u spank their asses that they will learn

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LMGBO. Jenny, i fear you o

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@topic

spank is an understatement,i will bulldozer any of my child dat needs it

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yeah right. more like 3 baby sitting jobs.

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Yeah right, you call part time baby sitting job raising a kid ??

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it's bad parenting if the idea of disciplining one's kids is limited to spanking. again, those agbero's, thugged out rappers were spanked too.

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@topic and poster

Go ghetto u'll get a good answer

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Spanking your kids is just a waste of time. They look forward to the spanking every time they mess up. studies has shown that it does not work. The only thing that works is to give them abundant of love and when they mess up, withdraw the love. Nothing pains a teenager than taking away the tv, play stations, Dvds and plenty of time outs.

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My dear, it is completely nuts !

It's not bad parenting abeg, it's the society that keeps you from disciplining your child and like I said earlier, imbibes disrespecting your elders.

@OP

I just want to state for the record that I do not support spanking children - at least for the most part.

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What cultural difference ? A culture that imbibes not respecting your elders ?

I went to this Caribbean place the other day to buy something, can you believe this girl told the woman

attending to us, adding "you need to shut up". This girl was about 15-17 years old and the lady had to be

in her 50s or 60s. How often do you see this in Nigeria ?

hehe, you really don't want us to go on about african american kids do you ?

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-

What about Nigerian dudes that are using their parents for rituals right there in Nigeria? were they raised in the west too?

Was She raised in The west as well?

All those political Adedibu's thugs. . .were they all raised in the west?

What about those cultist in the Nigeria's universities. . .were they all raised in the west? last time i checked, they were counting scores with human lives.

In the west. . .it doesnt marra. .Public or 10. . .you are good to go.

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Its abuse the moment your kids are afraid of you as a parent

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It's not necessary, But its needed once in a while

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i disagree, it's more of a cultural difference. they may call their parents by names(fine in their culture) but lots of americans do care about the welfare of their parents. there are out of line kids in nigeria too so it's funny how people chastize the west. dont' african americans spank their kids?

it's abuse if ur kids are emotionally or physically hurt from the spanking

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can u define what u mean by spank the child very well??

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There really are good private schools in Nigeria, no doubt about that. But like Sly said, I want to be with my children while they grow up

Some kids in America even call their parents by name ! That respect your elders thing is seriously lacking I have to admit

Na so we see am oo, you can't discipline your kids or else you are tagged an abusive parent and may have your children taken away from you.

They said we should be practicing "time out" LMAO !

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you have issues if spanking is the way to talk sense into your kids. weren't all the corrupt leaders, agberos, omo ota's spanked too. rather than use words, u use a stick.

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It's not necessary to spank children but sometimes it's called for.

When the child is getting out of hand - spank the child very well. . . .

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But the point is. . . .Relocating or settling down in Nigeria is never in Ma Agenda. and for the fact that i want me kids to be around me

Leaving them to study in Nigeria is absurd. . . i don't even Wanna think about it . .

But that doesn't mean ''we'' (Me and 'em kids) wouldn't be visiting Naija often for holidays. . .of course we would.

But as for them to study in Nigeria. . .to me its like a punishment to the kids. . . .thats a "No go" area.

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Okay I get your point. But what about elementary & high school ? There are very decent ones in Nigeria (as obtains in the west), albeit

they cost a lot. May be high school at least.

The thing is, I want my kids (none yet) to have a feel for our culture and I think the best way to accomplish this is for them

to go home and school for a while.

Now, as far as college/university goes, that's a whole different ball game all together.

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You can't compare the educational system in Nigeria to the west. . . .The difference is astronomical.

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Sly, why won't you raise your kids in Nigeria ? Someone said the same thing to me weeks ago. What are your reasons ?

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Not all kids raised in the west are spoilt . . .don't get it twisted.

If u really Wanna spank 'em. . . .Then u gotta do it like my poppas friend. . .

Take 'em to Nigeria for holidays and spank the hell out of em. . . .with that you have no problem.

But in the west. . .what i am tryin to say is that The law doesn't give a 10 about who the parents are. . .

I have heard of many Nigerians being sentenced to Jail up here because of this. . . .sum got 4. . .5yrs and so on. . .

Some even went to the extent of using pepper to punish their kids. . . .at the end . .he got about 6yrs. . . .

They don't care in the west! You just have to be careful about it. . . i believe there are still many ways to punish your kids without spanking them.

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Am sure if you watch SUPER NANNY , you will understand what i mean. And more over am not really talking about kids from nigeria.

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Big Father you are wrong 80% of the children I know that came from Nigeria to live here in the UK are awful. All the instruction given to them is lost they become wild animals.

People are shocked when me and my brothers tell them we never schooled or lived in Nigeria.

Its your child you control him or her. No matter where you live if you have taught your child well they will always remember the child of whom they are and they wont disrespect you by misbehaving!

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DON'T BE silly DAD "

This the more reason why i encourage my child to grow to a reasonable age here in Nigeria to learn the culture of respect before she travels there.

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Very necessary when necessary

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Spare the rod and spoil the child

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You can only try that in Nigeria though. . .

Try it up here. . . You stand the chance of going to Jail.

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@topic

i dont believe in sparing d rod and spoiling d child,atleast their asses should be spanked once in a while

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depends on the situation

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Spoil the rod and spare the child

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Beating a child undoubtedly makes the child think that beating is ok. When the child grows up, she will also want to beat her own children. When her husband beats her, she may think it's ok. A few people might react in a different way - by vowing never to beat their children. However, that usually fails because they are not aware of other methods of disciplining their children. Their spouses will compensate by beating the children more!

However, in todays Nigeria, not beating your child is not enough to prevent her from thinking that beating is ok. Her schoolteachers will beat her for you! I was beaten a lot at International Secondary School Ifako: at least 3 times a week for latecoming and 1-2 times a week when the entire class was punished for noisemaking.

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All the older oyinbo people wey I dey talk to dey tell me saydem own parents spank them and dem no die. The children of the present generation wey nobody dey fit discipline or spank come dey very violent.

Spanking has no correlation with the child turning to violence.

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i was almost never spanked by either of my parents. The only time i got spanked which was once in my life, i did worse than what i was spanked for. other times when i did wrong, my mum wud talk to me just like she couldn't beat me. she always kept putting her trus in me and that made me me. she always said gentle words like be a "good boy" "dont be naughty" "i trust you wouldn't do such again" and several others of them. Because of this and seeing the way i turned out i don't think spanking is the best. i think dialogue is best[color=#990000][/color]

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