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Is It Wrong To Have Such Feelings?

Hello NLders,

There's something that has been bothering me for quite a while and i wanted to share it here. I have a friend who's quite close to me and we go way back. He once told me about a cousin of his whom he said he likes very much. Initially, i thought it was just the normal family thing. Recently though, he's been talking so much about this cousin of his, that i began to suspect something else. 

At a point i decided to 'confront' him about the issue and he opened up to me that he's 'noticed' that his feelings has always been much more than what he thought. Although he didn't exactly say it, but i believe he's really in love with her. Before anyone starts condemning or commending him or his feelings, let me explain something.

This cousin of his is actually what some people will want to call 'Step cousin'. I don't know if such a word exists though. Anyway, the girl in question is a daughter to his mum's step-sister. His mum and the aunt share the same mum, but different fathers. I guess we can all do the 'calculation' lol.

Personally, i've tried talking to a few of our friends, but most of them think that there's nothing really wrong with it. I decided to bring up the issue in here since there'll be diverse opinions and hopefully, mature comments. There's one more thing though, the girl doesn't know or suspects anything, so they haven't done anything.

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15 answers

The girl's mum is actually his mum's half sister not step sister. As many people have rightly said, she's a blood relative so he has to let the feelings die a natural death by trying not to think about her.

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Please and please, fear God and depart from evil. Don't let Satan

take control of your mind. Joseph feared God and refused to fall for Portiphar's wife.

This is temptation, if u yield you regret later. Dont take advantage of her filial affection.

She is your cousin (blood). Its a taboo to do her any harm.

Pastor

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Yeah, chaircover is right. The possiblity of giving birth to imbeciles and children with various disorder is very high. This is because mutated genes that were reccessive in the parents could become expressed since there are lesser pool of genes to choose from, during conception. our forefathers called it a taboo because they realised such marriages produced offsprings with disbilities which they always attributed to punishment from the gods for going against tradition.

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@chaircover

are you talking as a fact, or possibility? am asking because isn't that supposed to happen only when there's already a disorder?

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@tpia what are the dangers involved in breeding?

@Nezed Okay now i understand you. It can't be acted upon. Like we both (all) know, we can't control our feelings all the time, and anything could happen.

What if the girl in question finds out that she feels the same way, even if a little? That question is for the females here, put yourselves in the girl's shoes and ask yourself the question. What would you do?

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The northern part of Nigeria never ceases to amaze me!

Is all good. Very soon, sons will begin to marry their father's wives and the women will apologise to their husbands-cum-son when offended!

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its not a crime in all part of nigeria. in the north where i come from even 1st cousins can get married. its believd that(considering divorce rate) such mariages last longer cos of the family ties. though mariages like this are to the guys advantage. he offends the wife and she is told to apologise cos he is her elder brother. i dont encourage it.

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As for me,it is not good enough. Let him direct his feelings to somewhere else.

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there are some dangers involved in inbreeding.

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And oh, i'm not eyeing my cousin lol

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He can not have any relatioship with her because there is a blood relationship between him and the cousin: they share the same maternal GRANDMA!

I dont know where he is from, but if he is Nigerian, i think its almost like a taboo.

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Tell him to get his feeling in check, but wait oh, they are "step cousin" so i am not sure if that is a crime now

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Even after you're married, you're going to find some other women attractive sometimes.

We can't control our "feelings", but we don't have to be controlled by them. It's no biggie.

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