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Is My Wife The Devil's Agent?

I married my wife and brought her from Nigeria. I had lived here for about 7 years before she came to join me and everytime we have a disagreement, she just screams and shouts. I absolutely hate shouting. She shouts about everything imaginable on earth and my house which had always been quiet is becoming a noisy one as a result of her arrival.

She is not an educated woman so this probably makes it more difficult because she doesn't seem to be able to help herself. Since Sunday there there have been arguments because we went to a party and I danced with one of my work colleagues. She said my colleague must be my girlfriend and we must have been doing things at work. The dance was less than a minute because she was even on her way out and this colleague lives with her boyfriend.

I got back from work yesterday and she started making noise about the same thing so I decided to go out anywhere at all. There was no where for me to go as I dont have many friends here and the one I wanted to go and meet was not at home. I say down in the car and decided to drive to one ex gf's house as I was completely tired after a long day at work.

while in the girl's house we were playing and touching each other and she suddenly shouted that I should leave her home immediately. Thankfully nothing had happened between us so she cant scream molest or anything and her friend was also in the house.

That incident made me think that my wife is an agent of the devil in my life pushing me to do things I should not do. I pledged myself not to be unfaithful but she pushed me and only God knows what could have happened that night.

I am thinking of helping my wife to comlete the process for her to get papers in the country and telling her to go her own way because it's better if I'm single than to be in jail.

What do you guys think?

This is very serious and I am feeling completely depressed at the moment. Once when I tried to tell her family about this they sounded very hostile to me so I decided not to discuss anything with them again.

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Husbands and Wives—Conquer Conflict With Communication

THE FAMILY—Haven of Peace?

The weapons are words aimed with chilling precision to pierce weak spots in one another’s emotional armor. Even ranting, screaming, hitting, and throwing things are the daily fare of families that have declared open warfare. Other families, though, have ceased battling openly and have withdrawn behind barriers of silence and tearful frustration. Yet for the most part these are family members who care about their relationships with one another. What prevents them from getting the warmth they desperately want from their homelife? How can conditions be improved? The following articles provide some realistic answers.

JOAN and Paul had what many felt was a “perfect marriage.” Paul, however, became emotionally involved with his work. ‘When I came home, all I wanted to talk about were the exciting challenges on my job. Though I would give Joan a perfunctory kiss and hug, my mind was on something else,’ confessed Paul. Joan did not share this enthusiasm for his work. Struggling as a young mother, she felt neglected and left out. This bred resentment, since Paul was insensitive to her emotions.

After a while Joan no longer cared. When Paul poured out his problems, she responded with callous indifference. She had ‘walked out’ emotionally. Despite his being an able provider and she a capable mother, they had deprived each other of a basic need and a most significant gift—intimacy of heart. They became strangers emotionally, and this lack of personal communication was slowly destroying their marriage.

A Need of the Heart

A “fundamental function of marriage,” according to counselors Marcia Lasswell and Norman Lobsenz, may be “getting and giving . . . [emotional] support to each other.” Because of the assaults from the world around us, such support from those we love is vital. Lack of it deeply hurts, and “because of the pain of the heart there is a stricken spirit.” (Proverbs 15:13) One’s self-confidence and spirit can be shattered.

When the heart is pained because of the insensitivity of one’s spouse, anger often flares. “When he just sits there telling me I’m too emotional, I get so mad,” stated one wife. “I wind up crying and feeling terrible.” Or as Paul felt: ‘I noticed that when we were alone together, Joan showed little enthusiasm, but as soon as someone called or visited, she was so excited with them, ignoring me completely. I was crushed and at the same time angry because I felt as if I was being used. I provided for her, and yet she acted as if she preferred the company of others.’

Some couples choose to suffer in silence, becoming, in effect, “great pretenders,” as if all is well in their marriage. But the body feels what the brain chooses to ignore. Chronic pain, headaches, a knotted stomach, depression, frigidity, and impotence are reported to doctors by people with unresolved marital conflicts. Often, the increasing hostility culminates in a split. Researchers estimate that one half of first marriages now taking place in the United States will end in divorce.

But what can be done to conquer conflict and develop intimacy? The secret: Apply Bible principles. God, who made the heart and the mind, knows our emotional needs. Therefore, the Bible, which contains his counsel, provides the finest guidance. A couple must not only know but sincerely try to apply this inspired advice. If applied, the Bible can help a couple to meet each other’s emotional needs adequately.—Ephesians 5:22-33.

“I Don’t Know What She Wants”

It is not easy to recognize the emotional needs of one’s spouse. A person may hesitate to spell out his or her needs to others because of fear of rejection, further hurt, or disillusionment—or may not know what such needs are. “I swear, I don’t know what she wants,” admitted one husband. “She keeps saying we have to talk, and then when we do, it always turns out I’m saying the wrong thing. . . . So I get worried about it, and I don’t say anything.”

The Bible, though, shows that, rather than clamming up like this husband, you need to show discernment. “By wisdom a household will be built up, and by discernment it will prove firmly established,” states Proverbs 24:3. Therefore, try to discern what is behind your mate’s actions or remarks. Ask yourself: Why is he or she telling me this? What does he or she really want or need?

At times, a wife may perplex the husband with her volatile emotions. But “a man of discernment is cool of spirit” and seeks to ‘draw up’ from her the real problem. (Proverbs 17:27; 20:5) Is she struggling with some oppressive emotional load? (Compare Ecclesiastes 7:7.) Is her hostility concerning the time you get home from work really an outcry against your indifference and lack of affection? Or have you hurt her by some thoughtlessness? Is extra effort—and time—needed to smooth matters over? Discerning the need, however, is only the first step.—Proverbs 12:18; 18:19.

Building Intimacy

In the Bible, Job stated that the words of his mouth would strengthen the listener. (Job 16:5) This applies also in marriage. Sincere expressions that enhance the self-worth of your spouse are reinforcing. “You husbands,” commands the Bible, “continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor [viewing as precious; especially dear] as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one.” (1 Peter 3:7) When you make your wife feel precious, her hostility often melts.

Of course, according to custom, couples are emotionally closer in some lands than in others. Yet, regardless of the local traditions, husbands who apply the Bible in their marriage see the value of getting emotionally closer to their wives. Knowing that she is cherished by her husband makes it easier for any wife to bare to him the depths of her heart, and this increases their happiness.

“A good listener,” states the book The Individual, Marriage, and the Family, “has the capacity for making the other person feel that he is especially valued and what he is saying is of concern and significance.” Therefore, couples who wish to cultivate intimacy should pay attention to how they listen. An active listener gives his mate full attention and attempts to understand what that one is saying without interrupting, arguing, or changing the subject. Empathetic listening, as well as the cultivating of an unselfish personal interest in the matters of your mate, is the lifeblood of intimacy.—Philippians 2:3, 4.

To improve intimacy, marriage counselors further suggest: (1) Learn to confide in your spouse rather than in someone else. (2) Create some quality time each day, or at least weekly, without distractions, when you can pour out feelings and thoughts. (3) Share small everyday happenings with each other. (4) Regularly show affection in little things—giving a small but unanticipated present, doing a chore the other dislikes (without being asked), leaving a loving note in the lunch box, or giving an unexpected touch or hug.

However, even devoted couples will still disagree at times. The suggestions in the box shown above can help to prevent such arguments from escalating into marriage wreckers.

Even if disagreements become serious, refuse to give up on your marriage. One couple, whose conflicts had led to a separation, reconciled by reading together the Bible’s counsel on marriage at Colossians 3:18, 19 with the determination to apply this. When straightforwardly discussing the feelings that caused resentment, both asked: “Why didn’t you tell me before that you felt that way?” They listened and tried to see the other’s point of view. Now, after their being back together for nearly a decade, the husband acknowledges: “Things have only got better, thanks to the beautiful counsel in Jehovah God’s Word. Our happiness was worth the effort.”

[Box on page 4]

Emotional Support—How Important?

“Most couples who have an enduring marriage have a deep appreciation of the emotional security of that marriage.”—Dr. April Westfall, Marriage Council of Philadelphia.

“This inability to apprehend the logic of emotions lies at the root of much of the discontent between the sexes, and helps to make marriage the most difficult of all relationships.”—Worlds of Pain—Life in the Working-Class Family, by Lillian Rubin.

“Men’s confusion and consequent lack of responsiveness to their wives’ emotional needs is both a cause and an effect of unhappiness in many marriages.”—Psychology Today, October 1982.

[Box on page 5]

Resolving Arguments

• Set a mutually acceptable time and place to talk.

• Pinpoint the issue and stick to it.

• Have attitude of problem solving, not winning.

• Focus on the present, not on unrelated past events.

• Have only one person talk at a time.

• Try not to attack personally nor hold grudges.

• Be specific, yet sensitive to spouse’s feelings.

• Avoid mind reading. Ask for clarification.

• Be open to giving and receiving feedback.

• Avoid sarcasm and name-calling.

• Be willing to compromise for the sake of your marriage.

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Never “Allow Place for the Devil”

1 Since humans are imperfect, it may not be easy to maintain a peaceful home. For instance, external pressures may result in stress that could rob the home of peace. But applying Paul’s counsel at Ephesians 4:26, 27 can contribute to the tranquillity of our homes. Paul wrote: “Be wrathful, and yet do not sin; let the sun not set with you in a provoked state, neither allow place for the Devil.” Even if a husband or a wife justifiably becomes angry on occasion, neither of them should ever let this angry state become a sin by remaining in a provoked state and harboring animosity. May we never let the peace disturber, Satan the Devil, rob our Christian homes of peace!—1 Peter 5:8.

2 For domestic peace, of course, each marriage mate must apply Bible counsel. If a problem causes some disruption, praying together for God’s spirit can result in the displaying of its fruitage and the restoration of domestic peace. (Luke 11:13; Galatians 5:22, 23) Yes, even under the most trying circumstances, this course will help to make the home a place of rest and peace.

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congratulations. I pray things work out well for you

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Thank you to everyone who gave some thought to my plight.

The case was thrown out of court without going to a jury trial today because there was insufficient evidence for a trial. Life has been almost unbearable for the past year or so. I will try and move on with my life now.

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no thank you. we have actually resolved it now

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It seems you're very proud of her lack of education, after all you married her. Let me guess you thot you could oppress an uneducated girl but it backfired, She's oppressing YOU!!!!!!!!!!

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And it is the woman who ends up with the short stick! Men I swear eh you lot cannot handle emotional issues at all! Anyone who says they can should come out and say it now. A good woman is the one who actually holds a home together. I feel so bad for your wife! I do hope you learn from this experience.

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Its good she's being supportive, since what's done cant be undone. The main thing now is to find a solution to the current problem.

People fight- its no big deal unless the couple wants to make it so.

I think the main issue about your wife's lack of education is you have to go the extra mile in accomodating her, and also get her started in that area. Lack of education is something that can be remedied any time as long as there is commitment.After all, you saw other qualities that made you marry her.

People were criticizing the education aspect because that's how you presented it- as if its something you regret. However, you were most likely just speaking in annoyance. I'm sure by now you're aware when there's marital problems, most times the man will get way more support than the woman. Especially in a Nigerian setting, where the woman will always get the blame regardless if its justified or not. Its what you say about your wife that people will use to attack her.

Anyway, hopefully you'll never experience this kind of trouble again.

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you are not serious, so you are saying you are living a life of sacricice for your son,well done martyr. of course she will stand by you, what choice does she have? you think she will want to come back to naija being illiterate and all? so even if she is killing you you will stay because your son cannot come from a broken home well i hope he doesnt grow up thinking its normal for women to shout at men, better a broken home than him becomin a sissy

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wifepalava @ Try "PRAYER" these time cos almost every thing is at stake now,even ur marriage MEN!!!!!!!, and see if there is anyway u can cos ur EX to withdraw her legal suit against u ,l wish u the best.Genny wyne

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I'm happy for you two. Keep it up and good luck with the court case.

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Now that this is all out in the open my wife knows about it and she is standing by me. We have prayed that this bad period should blow over and I already promised God I will never cheat again no matter what my wife does.

She also feels bad because she realises that I would not have lefy home if she did not start the shouting again. We are hoping that we can start our lives anew.

Thanx to those who had harsh words for me because I deserve it. For those who think I should not have gone to marry an uneducated woman I can only say if you meet my son you will not be able to say such a thing again. He is the best boy in the world and I don't think it would have been good to make him a product of a broken home. On the whole I have regrets for going to a woman who is now trying to get me into trouble but I have no regrets for deciding to marry my wife.

I am awaiting a possible court appearance but I dont believe that I can be found guilty of something that I did not do. God is in perfect control.

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Sorry Jaybee. I meant wifepalava

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I can't help much on the shouting part,maybe one day you need to shout back.You have to enter her territory to deal with her(shouting territory).Just might work.

She's uneducated's no excuse to behave like dat, and are you telling us the whole story or just the side that favours you. If not to relate to her you have to reason like an "uneducated person"

All in all sorry man but i fear if nothing changes its for better for worse till death helps you part either yours or hers.

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to be frank,some wives can push their husbands into doing wat they dont want to do,wt their nagging and childish behaviour,lets be reasonable and honest here we r all human beings,im not in support of a man cheating on his wife,but sometimes they r some things one can't stand,when a wife does nt give her husband peace ,shes sending him into another womans arms,its as simple as that

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Jaybee seems to be full of stories. Why would a man go to Nigeria and bring back a woman that is not educated. Maybe he thought he could control her but she pushed back like he did not expect. Why would a woman who is not mentaly unstable just call the cops because you quietly walked into her house and absolutely nothing happened? And why are you guys even encouraging him to blame his wife because of the choices he made. Now you want to call her the agent of the devil when you carried your joystick to another woman's house to do the devil's work.

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you have to understand that we all have weaknesses. that, probably is hers so u just have to be patient with her also bearing in mind that she is not educated. she will always have myopic thinking in certain issues. all u have to do is to know how best to handle her when ever she starts ranting. divorce is not the best issue my dear, remember it is for better for worse. besides there are several ways/strategies to make one change.

try being very sweet and loving to her whenever she starts, i believe that u do raise ur voice too when she raises hers. two barking dogs can never hear each other. so find a means to calm her down and explain well to her.

i hope this will be a warning to those out there that dabble into affairs with uneducated spouses cos they will never see things the western way.

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You obviously did not know this woman before you married her. Looks like an arranged marriage to me. They almost always never work. Good luck!

EDIT: Ok, I just read more of your posts. It's a good thing that you spke to an attorney ASAP. Sorry about your plight. As long as your ex does ot have any evidence against you, there is no case for her.

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Mister, it doesn't work only in Nigeria. It works for many people and not peculiar to certain people. Never make that mistake.

The poster never mentioned both of them "shout" at the same time. He made it clear to us that he's a calm person while his wife is the one always shouting and because "he can't stand her when she shouts" his only option is to leave home either to a girlfriend or else where. He doesn't stay around to listen to what she has to yell about and expects that when he returns home the matter must have resolved magically.

Now tell me, on what grounds will the woman call the cops 'cause from what we know there's no abuse? And again, tell me how you "restore peace" when you're outside?

What d'u know about law and divorce? He can get a divorce if he wants.

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@Poster,

From what you have said so far,you are the cause of your problems.Your wife problem is not from her lack of education or your financial situation but because you a cheat.You have no respect for your wife and i am sure u treated her like a second class.If there is a problem in your home you can go and sleep in a hotel instead of going to your EX house.From all indication is not just a one off time,you have been seeing your EX behind your wife that is why your wife is always in your throat.

Please come back home,apologies to your wife and make her happy.

Wish you the best

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all these people saying someone shouldnt leave the house when there's a fight.

That works in Nigeria. Not so sure about overseas, where anyone can call the police on you. If your case goes to court, you'll get a restraining order anyway, telling you not to go near your wife and kids in the meantime.Violate this order and you risk jail.

Some men ignore the orders but its at their own risk. I learnt the police and courts are getting tougher on domestic violence reports these days. Maybe not in Britain  though.

If an argument is escalating with neither party willing to back down or placate the other, then better leave the house. I don talk my own.  Though of course its better to try and defuse the argument and restore peace, if possible at that time.

Divorce isnt the only alternative, but sometimes I'm forced to agree with spoilt: if you can't get along, then you might have to get a divorce.

But from what the OP has posted here,he was the one who was cheating, not his wife. All she was doing was shouting. Since when do you divorce someone on those grounds? Educate me plz.

The girlfriend also ended up shouting and accusing him of assualt, on top of her own. Yet few people are questioning the girl's actions.

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Number one thing you need to do is never leave the house when "she starts shouting" cause you only come back when she must have calmed down but still the underlying problem hasn't been solved. It will always spring up. You both need to get to the root of the matter. There's no need to take flight in such situations. You can't tell me that she shouts for no good reason. Otherwise, you take her to see a psychiatrist 'cause it's not normal.

You need to face the situation. She's your wife, educated or not. You knew her status before you married her. May be she's mad at the fact that you don't have as much money as she expected or may be there are things you do that she doesn't like??

Being a calm person is not enough. Quiet people could be annoying sometimes but that's by the way though.

You need to let go of pride. Take her out for dinner or wherever and TALK! Both of you need to open up to each other. Tell what you hate in the other and learn to adjust to the likes and dislikes of you two. It's not easy to live with someone you don't really know. Problems must arise but there has to be a solution and running away from home or getting strangers to talk to her isn't one of them.

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@poster

this is the most sensible and practical advice i have seen on here,if after this you r still having some sort of reservations then i think you have made up your mind already,from your answers after each advice,i think you have that nigerian older man thing of "im older and im right"

i think like it happens often in your kind of situation,the woma might have had higher expectations and came to uk to find something else

also,you said finances is a big problem for you,even if you marry a phd older who is the most beutiful girl in the world and any colour,she will nag and shout at you if theres a problem with the finances

the woman is not a pshyciatric patient so she cant just see you entering the house and start shouting like a robot,i personally think you are not saying the whole thing and you r trying to absolve yourself of any blame and painting her in bad light

whoever is to be blamed,a woman shouting is not reson enough for divorce or seperation,and you can certainly sort it out without outsiders as a family in addittion to the advice u v been given,sit her and your 13 yr old down and have a family meeting,let her listen to what your child has to say about the whole thing and how its affecting him/her,ask her what she wants talk about it and then come to an agreement

its not an habit she will drop in a day,its something you will help her with day by day,had an ex gf who was like that and each time she starts shouting i start laughing,the more she shouts the harder i laugh then she gets so pissed off and starts crying

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So you were just playing and touching and suddenly she started shouting for you to get out? There's something very amusing about hearing one party's version of events. i've had guy friends come to my house after having fallen out with the wife or girlfriend. they arrive upset and in need of 'loving' and reassurance. why they think im the one to provide that, i have no idea. They usually are really gropy and touchy and are oblivious to the fact that you are unresponsive. Could that have been the case?

I'm sorry you married someone you don't know. Real sorry because that one na real bad market.

and oh, there's this old saying in my village. "where ther's a nag, there's a fool. "

If you can't get along, get a divorce.

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He has to straighten out the girlfriend's charges first.The court wont care whether its the wife who made him go there or not. All the judge will focus on is the fact that there was some kind of contact between him and the ex girlfriend, which the woman is calling assault. This is no longer about the wife alone.

@ wifepalava:

What your wife can do now is strongly vouch for your character, in writing. If you can also get some friends or family members to do the same, it may help although maybe not in a big way. If not, then just the wife.  Present the letter/s to the judge or whoever is handling the case outside the police station. Make sure you emphasize the fact that you've always been a law abiding citizen and never had any issues before now(?). Any documented evidence on the ex girlfriend's drug use is also important. provided you're not also a user of course.

I'm not too familiar with the British system, but I think you have to explain to your wife the effect her shouting is having on you. Under some circumstances, she could also get arrested as well if the fighting turns physical. Let her know what's at stake here- your job, and everything you've both worked for. You did the right thing by leaving the house if the argument was escalating uncontrollably, but then you made a wrong turn to your ex's house.

And try to understand what triggers the fighting. Most women will definitely mind if their husband is cheating on them- a lot of times women's intuition will tell them something is wrong somewhere, even though they may not be able to pinpoint or prove exactly what. And then react in a way the husband may see as unnecessary. Maybe she feels you don't care about her.

Even if or when you divorce her, you can still get in trouble with another wife or another woman. Neighbors can also call the police if they hear fighting.

Personally, I think you should both sign up for anger management classes. I don't know if relationship counseling actually works or not, or I'd have suggested that too. Then as someone said, your wife needs to get an education. Even if there's no money, surely she can get a loan to put her through school? And plz stop calling her a devil's agent. Or else she can turn into one, since you're calling her that.

The situation is bad, but its not the end of the world. If things look too bleak, utilize a lawyer.

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@ wifepalaver

It's very obviuos that you can't have a future with this lady. Please let her go. She is obviuosly NOT enjoying her marriage to you too.

Loose yourselves from this bondage

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Points to note - Never marry a woman you do not know.

- the devils here (obnoxious as they are) are far better than the angels you all rush off to marry in Nigeria.

- It is better to dwell on a roof than share a large room with a quarrelsome wife.

Wifepalava, no one here can help you . . . your best bet is to get a divorce.

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@ Wifepalaver

Have you heard of an Bottom whooping??

When next she starts nagging you bout poo, just loosen your belt, lay her out and flog the devil out of her. Next time she starts nagging and you reach for your belt, she'll recognize whos boss and shut the Bleep up!!

If you are not a wife beater like myself, then the only other option is to go buy a dog (a very big a verocious dog preferably a rotweiller, doberman, mastif or pitbull). Anytime you feed the dog, make sure a picture of your wife is on plate of food. When next she pisses you off, set the dog loose on her Bottom. That will teach her to shut the heck up when you are around.

Or if you prefer the non-violent option, then I suggest you get yourself am MP3 player with an insanely loud earphone. Whnever she starts bitching, just put on the earphones and play your favorite tune.

Or just kick her out of the house and dont look back.

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I was detained by the police but now released on bail

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Are you guys married legally or are you just intending to marry her?

I feel so much pain on your behalf cos the bible is against a quarrelsome wife. The bible only supports divorce if one spouse is cheating - think of these facts well and may you find peace soon.

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I have to get ready to go to the police station now

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i just dont think she gives me the chance to talk becos she starts shouting. when i got home from work 2 days ago she just started shouting even before i removed my tie and i had to leave because she was not going to stop.

i will listen if she talks to me. i'm not a lunatic

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Didn't you read the story? He leaves home when she gets mad.

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well age difference does matter cos communication with other half that is way younger can get a bit tricky for men sometimes (assumption is based on naij stories).

Close age gap relationships tend to treat each other more like friends and communication is somewhat relatively easy (again assumption is based on surveys)

knowing how to communicate is your best answer. You might want to go on a course "how to deal with difficult people" as they will teach you the key ingredient of communication is your listening skills. Do you actually listen to your wife when she is angry?

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the older man i mentioned is the man i went to speak to yesterday

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and wats the age difference?

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i did not say i am way older than her. she is only a few yrs younger than me

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@jaybee dnt think thats really neccessary, what difference would it make?

Radiant has said a lot, and has expressed wisdom in her suggestions

try doing things(positive) u havent done before

do something nice over it while youre both at your bests

talk to her about how u feel, let her know ur 13yr okd kid is involved

and a divirce is the last thing u want

let her know u love her and whateever else u feel she knows , but u need to let her know again

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old enough to have a 13yr old and not that i started having children early

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thanx. I have been trying to talk to her and it always ends up with more shouting maybe i am expecting too much too son but it is really eating away at me

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she wont respect you because of age, but based on how you handle matters,

ure shouting her down would make her feel ure riding on her,which would take another dimension

just take things easy and u'd both be fine.

Radiant can't help u,she can give u d best of advice which she has already done,

but its up to you eventually to take the bull by the horn

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Dude, you need to understand or rather let's just say that it's her nature to shout. Why does she shout? There must be things that irritate her and the only way she can fight it or let you know is by raising her voice. Fine!

Number one thing you need to do is never leave the house when "she starts shouting" cause you only come back when she must have calmed down but still the underlying problem hasn't been solved. It will always spring up. You both need to get to the root of the matter. There's no need to take flight in such situations. You can't tell me that she shouts for no good reason. Otherwise, you take her to see a psychiatrist 'cause it's not normal.

You need to face the situation. She's your wife, educated or not. You knew her status before you married her. May be she's mad at the fact that you don't have as much money as she expected or may be there are things you do that she doesn't like??

Being a calm person is not enough. Quiet people could be annoying sometimes but that's by the way though.

You need to let go of pride. Take her out for dinner or wherever and TALK! Both of you need to open up to each other. Tell what you hate in the other and learn to adjust to the likes and dislikes of you two. It's not easy to live with someone you don't really know. Problems must arise but there has to be a solution and running away from home or getting strangers to talk to her isn't one of them.

All the best.

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I have been trying and I hope whe will stop it soon.

please help me radiant

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that's why i hope that she will respect an older man and maybe calm down with the noise

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when u she shouts and u shout, u'd only be escalating matters

its not your nature to do such, so when she shouts u talk and gently make her see reasons

trust me after sometime though shes not educated but at least she has a brain and she can think

she would eventually realise her actions.

it might take a while,but its worth it that "fighting" back with words

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do two wrongs make a right?

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is it better for me to be shouting with her as well?

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in my present state 50 pounds will make the hole in my pocket much bigger.

I went to see and talk to an elderly nigerian christian man yesterday evening and he prayed with me to God. he said he will call my wife to speak with her. but its not the first time somebody has talked to her about this

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separate? after 7 years?

dude am sure u can work things out

divorce aint the best option

u did nothing just be bold enough

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