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Is She The Right Woman For Him?

Taiwo is a childhood friend and we have alot in common, including our love for cars and good women.

He hasn't been himself lately and after serious probing, i was able to get him to tell me his worries.

The following is his story,his experience with his fiancee.

He is scared of going ahead with the wedding,

Well, I looked at her again from her head to the shoes on her feet (been doing alot of that lately).

Her hairdo seemed so artificial; I recall she used Indian hemp for months just to recover her fast balding head at a time.

What she had on surely couldn’t have been real hair, this must be attachment.

My eyes took in every detail carefully resting for a while on her chest, heavy breasted really but sagged when Unclad.

She was probably wearing two padded bras or could she have had an implant so soon?

I wonder if she's thesame lady i fell in love with in school and was crazy about.

At 28 she already lacks the build of a maiden, not that she is one anyway.

At least I wasn’t the first that tasted from the pudding.

News has it that she dated most of the directors to get to the top of the marketing department of her office,i don't really listen to rumors.

I do know she was Professor Akinbogun's favorite student in her days at the University, i know she spent alot of time in his house.

It was understandable, his wife was away in the UK for years and he needed someone to help do the chores for him.

Even then we were yet to really start off as lovers.

It was her affection for the registrar that got me asking questions then and it almost brought our relationship to an end.

To think that she could cheat on me after all we'd been through or sleep with lecturers to earn good grades.

Although we’ve had our ups and downs in years past, I still owe a lot to her.

That I still love her is what I haven’t given much thought.

I have always longed for a working woman for a wife, who would help in meeting the demands of society and cater alongside me for the good things of life.

A woman that would support me like the biblical Eve to Adam, my missing rib.

Or how else would I conveniently make monthly payments for the lease on my Elantra or the mortgage of the posh apartment where I live?

She has really been supportive; life wouldn’t have been this easy without her many financial rewards.

She's a career woman, one who is vested with so much office responsibility?

Has a chauffeur driven official car at her disposal and a fat salary and allowances for effect?

It is sometimes appalling when i have to clear the dining table for her when she’s done having her meal and sometimes washing the dishes too since she has to answer one of her many official calls.

That i have to wait endlessly for her to come home from work since she is the centre of attraction in her office meetings.

At times she may not be so high and mighty in her place of work but the long hours would have had its toll on her you could turn out to a victim of her frustration.

Probably she has some male subordinates under her command and the use of strict tone and authoritative language has become her bane.

Now she accords me less respect than she used to, it’s not her fault really.

Reuben, her office assistant has shown in no small way that men could be very silly at times and me the prey for it.

I've become so confused with her newfound ways and the past is haunting me too.

Would you still want to go ahead with the wedding kif you were in my shoes?

Do you think my hard earned income should be poured down the drain in paying for igniting a time bomb that will soon bring down the foundations of my home?

Shouldn’t i rather settle for a young undergraduate and sponsor her though school rather than this domineering fiancée who doesn’t mean well for me?

Or better still, a secondary school leaver who knows the intricacies of house care, food management and finances.

Do you have any similar experience you want to share?

Whats your opinion, do you think he’ll be a fool to think twice?

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12 answers

@Ezinne

In this country there are no execuses for a woman not to be an 'ideal' woman but there are 1001 reasons why the man may not be able to perform his duties

I attended a family service in a church sometime ago and the Pastor preached on the roles and responsibilities of both parties in a marriage.

He started with the woman's role and as usual with preachers, he went on and on and on and on, you would think he was talking about a superhuman being that had not yet been created.

When it was time to mention the man's roles after he mentioned about two things, the man ran out of points!

I was amazed, but I felt, well, maybe the weight the man's roles outweighs that of the woman.

But the man did not stop there, he then said if the man is not be able to perform these roles for one reason or the other the woman should take up the responsibility respectfully without grumbling.

I wanted to scream 'Do you want to kill her'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was the respect for the gathering of the brethren that kept me down, if it was a secular gathering I would have screamed and damned  the consequence of being called all sorts of names.

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Newbie

The story has some commas - the guy is not married to her yet he claims he waits for her to come back bla bla bla. Life is all about choices and different scenarios. Those advocating training young girls from the village will be surprised at how badly things can really turn out. In everything one should commit his ways to God and shine eye well.

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This is a classic.

Enjoy all that the lady has to offer only to dump her for a 'fresh' chic when it is time for marriage.

How come the sagging brests and false hair are suddenly becoming an issue?

I believe these are mere execuses, this lady has served the purpose for which you hung around her for, it is now time to move on.

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Sometimes I wonder the type of people we have in this forum called NL! Someone asked for advice and the posters are busy bickering with each other!!! In what way does that help the poor guy?

Poster I have something to tell you.

1.Never you marry a woman out of pity cos you will live to regret it!

2.There is no perfect marriage! Tolerance is the watch-word. If you cannot tolerate her please break-off NOW! It is better now that there are no children involved.( I tell people that it is better to break an engagement than a marriage)

3.Sit her down and talk things over with her.(Dialogue works wonders)

I wish you luck with your decision.

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see how the man just "pieces" her and they arent even married yet.

afterwards he'll bring some weird stories and expect people to cry on his behalf.

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@ezinne1212

Why must every lady shout 'inferiority complex' at the mere mention of a woman's career and staying at home or the mention of 'money and responsibility?'

Haven't you seen ladies who work from home?

Am sure thats what the poster meant with his except i find one who shows she is really ready to stay indoors no matter her level of education

Besides, every man is entitled to his own opinion.

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I wonder what other guys think of this statement and if they agree. Doesn't it reflect some kind of inferiority complex?

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@ezinne1212

As long as every human is of importance to himself we shall never be objective in our judgements and our beliefs.

The other person will always be the villain.

He who finds a wife has found a good thing and obtained favours from the lord.

If you haven't found the niceties in a woman then stay away from marriage.

Its not compulsory to get married, its only neccessary.

I feel it's only normal for a man to want to take a village woman for a wife (no matter how bushy she may be) considering the circumstances.

I guess you haven't noticed the high rate of over-aged bachelors in your neighbourhood or the increasing trend of pregnancy initiated marriages these days.

The guys are just not willing to take up responsibilities of catering for a home unless they are forced into it.

Especially not with the kind of ladies we have now.

Mr poster, why not join my club, i've vowed not to take a wife except i find one who shows she is really ready to stay indoors no matter her level of education.

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I dont think you should marry her because she deserves a better man. You must be a silly fellow who is now already looking for a village girl to make him happy. For sure you are not her equal. Go find some bush woman for yourself and be happy.

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I believe people should stop passing sweeping statements that reflect nothing on what they offer but rather highlights what they believe the other person will offer. Most of the time, such statements are full of condescending remarks that reflects deep insecurity and ignorance. However, i'm realistic enough to know that with the amount of bad marriages out there, and every party claiming to be the one 'wronged', ignorance will continue to be the leader.

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Interesting piece. We all have choices, and i don't think anyone should be condemned for not wanting someone with sagging bosoms, or better pay, or staying clear of 'jobless undergraduates' or insecure individuals with 'mama issues'. Follow your gut, always! Afterall, you only have yourself to blame at the end of the day.

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