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Is Silence The Best Option?

I always stay away from my woman when she offends me, especially when its what i dislike most like Lying, etc.

I prefer to stay in solitude for 5-7 days, unles if she comes apologizing, cos the more i talk about it, the more i get infuriated cos am hot tempered, so i avoid flaring.

What do you think about, or any other ways of handling such situations .

Whats ur opinion??

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22 answers

you never can tell how someone would react to silent treatment, I better to try not to if you can

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It might be good sometimes but not always the best option. i heard of a woman who killed herself because her husband wouldn't talk for days to her, and she had serious problems, so she committed suicide. you just have to know who and the situation your dealing with before carrying out your silent treatment. some people can't handle it.

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It's OK not to confront the woman when the situation is still hot. In my opinion the best things is to walk away, deal with your anger and then approach her to talk things through. I won't advice you sleep over it because the more you think about it the worse it gets. You know how our mind works guys, we start to amplify the issue and make mountains out of mole hills.

Women generally hate silent treatment. They want to talk and may shout, it helps them express themselves, they don't always mean what they say. Knowing that fact, do not give her the silent treatment, talk to her after a while and resolve issues. It shows you are more mature and not a child to sulk over issues for day. I am speaking from my own experience and I'm still a work-in-progress. You can read more here

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Its all good what u do - but staying away in solkitude for days is not the best.

Try your hardest not to let the sun go down on ur anger.

By all means walk away so that u do not get physical with them - but life isnt like that.

If u wait for someone to always apologise when u are hurt, u wont heal. You will always hand ur happiness to someone else.

So if u are able to talk it out do so, dont wait for someone to come begging - but if she is the offender, obviously she should know what she is supposed to do but if not, dont let her mske ur life have s stand still.

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u can't keep avoiding the situation becos then it will keep repeating itself.

which will not be helping the relationship.

face it and tell her how u feel.

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I think settling the matter or the case should be the best thing to do and not keeping silence, though it might work for some people so they don't spoil something at that moment. But its good to get the problem settled at the moment so u can have a rest of mind and be at peace.

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Yimton, you are son right. I usede to follow the silent rule till someone told me that that attidude is for old people, that young people talk about their problems. It has worked better for me, there was a day i spent a whole day sulking over some thing and my boyfrined could not figure out what was wrong, when i finally told him why i was angry and he explained his actions, i felt so silly because i wasted a whole day.

Since thenm i always ask or talk but in polite way, let it not seem like nagging.

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Silence is definitely not the best option.

If you use that trick, pray not to meet some kind of people . If you stay in the same house, it will be worse for you. The person may just continue life as if he or she doesn't even know you are mad at her. She'll live life so normally that you'll get definitely frustrated.

For me, the best thing is to call your partner, reason together and say how much you hate what has just happend. If you guys can't come to a compromise, then, move ahead with your lives without the other.

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Silence is not the best option and confrontation is not the best option too. Both of you should talk to each other, its your relationship you owe it to each other to try to make it work.

The talk should be when tempers are cool and it should be issue based not a personality attack

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i think it all depends on ur relationship o. when he is angry and confronts me, sometimes i find his words insultive(4get that it is anger that is speaking) i also have the need to lash back, then a really silly arguement will break out. i think when a guy is angry he should just take some time to cool off the heat before approaching so that everything can be sorted out reasonably. because of this so called angry confrontations on meaningless things, many relationships have broken without both sides even getting the gist of each other's arguement. so guys cool temper o

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It's the best most times other times it's not. Miscommunication leads to complication. Sometimes you need to talk and let it all out.

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Dear Poster,

I bet, keeping malice for 5-7 days is not good for your health. It's not good for your relationship either. During your solitude period of 5-7 days, a lot can happen. You or your woman could derail (temporarily) to seek solace elsewhere and if this goes on and on, becomes a permanent thing. Such is not healthy for your relationship!

I'd suggest that you and your woman should agree on ‘how to disagree’. You guys should sit down and map out some tips; ensure that you're on the same page (always). For example, resolve your differences amicably before you go to bed(same day); don’t assume she knows every thing, teach her how you want her to talk to you when she’s crossed and vice-versa; agree on your expectation when you’re angry…….eg, 1. apologise instantly 2. a kiss 3. give you some time(minutes or hours, not 5-7days)  to calm down; your expectations as regards her countenance when non-family members are around…… the list is endless.

Remember that actions and reactions and opposite. You must meet her emotional needs for her to meet yours, it’s normal and natural. No man or woman would cast peals before swine.

In conclusion, I’d say that, the way we plan towards archiving our dream as regards education, job, prosperity….etc is the same way we plan on how to make a happy home. It is hard work and it takes both parties to tango and make it work.

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Hey guy, if u keep using the silencer method, ur marriage might be heating the rocks o. If u think its a solution then think again. I'm not married but i think i have quite an experience in my relationship. If i notice anything, i talk about it, then its cleared up, if again i'm not satisfied, i bring up the issue again. & its cleared up till i'm satisfied.

Seriously i would die, if my husband keeps silent on me for a day. I would personaly go & pull his ears or pull his trousers, i'll look for something funny to say dat would definately close the gap.

look i learnt something from my friend recently, she said "Never go to bed while still mad at ur guy" this is even relationship wise o, talk more marriage.

Don't give chances for the devil o. cos he's a tricky Bastard. Do everything to make sure u quarrel less. peace.

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@poster

I can understand you keeping your silence if it's a girlfriend who does'nt live with you i.e shares your space. Why would any girl want to waste their time with an ignorant man who cannot emotionally express themselves. Such toture.  BUT if it's a wife under your roof, then I would say that you were very selfish, barbaric and in need of help.  How can you ignore someone right under your roof. If she has children with you, what kind of message is that to send to them?  should you not talk through your problems?  What did she lie about?  maybe it's the truth to her and the devil is confortable sitting right in the middle of you two causing havoc. If she's wrong, then correct her or just let it go. Atleast with a girlfriend with her own house/flat, she is bound to have friends, social life to keep her busy whilst you are in your CAVE licking your wounds. With a wife, it's shear hell, I could'nt imagine a worst action from a so called husband. I don't know if you are religious but this is a very ungodly act you are doing, how would it make you feel if she did the same to you without explanation? Is Silence the best option?  For the devil it is, because he's trying to steal your blessing. 

Good luck Mr Silencer.  Imagine the valuable time you are wasting, the stress and high blood pressure caused by your very own actions.  Thank god my husband is not like that.  Amen.

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Not all the time but most of the time.  Sometimes you have to talk things through instead of bottling up your feelings.  Might just end up with a heart attack or become a "Columbine shooter" with all those pent-up feelings unresolved!

You have to choose the best time to communicate and the best time to be silent and maintain a healthy balance so you do not find youselves drifting apart.

Like everything in life--too much of a thing is bad--including silence. A little communication goes a long way too!

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Silence is the best solution when one is being hurt by one wife,it has work for me and also in situation like that i'll have a walk around the street so as to calm my temper.

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silence= killing me softly

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Thanks all for the replies, and your words are really encouraging,

But i still want to ask for how long can someone keep that silence, is it until she changes

or apologises,some thing like that?

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that's is the koko u see all this woman dey ma fit kill person if u no keep quiet for them

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Yes, you've got it in one. Women love confrontation. She'll go crazy not being able to vent at you. Keep quiet when you are upset, and always be prepared to walk away altogether. Conversely, if she is respectful to you, reward her. Good luck, it is tough but worth it.

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