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Marriage Without Parents' Knowledge?

Wed Without Blessing?

How important is it to get your parents' blessing before you get hitched?

I know of a girl that didn't tell her parents she was marrying her husband. She said she didn't [care] about what others thought. Is she right? Did you elope without a word? Do you live to regret it?

And mums, dads, family what's it like being the last to know your little baby/sibling has gone and got hitched? Share your experiences.

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17 answers

Better do it with their knowledge and blessings.

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This subject is still new in our lives. We found out one week ago that our daughter got married and never told us. We are very close (or so we thought), and had absolutely nothing against her boyfriend, we were looking towards a wedding, and discussed it together quite often. However, this is not the first time we've been "knocked to the floor" with a major life-changing event from our daughter, but we started relaxing because it seemed as though she was finally heading down the right track and thinking before acting. Aside from ignoring the need to have our blessings and allowing us to be an integral part of this very special time of her life, they do not realize that this is deception, immature, and blatant dishonor to her dad. Our plan was to give them $20,000 to start their "new life" off with (as a surprise) and definitely our blessings, when they got themselves financially stable and prepared to handle the challenges of marriage as well as her small children. He was still struggling to take care of himself (financially) and we were still semi-supporting our daughter and her children. It's very obvious to us that they have absolutely no clue of what they've done and have repeatedly said to us that they don't feel they've done anything wrong. Our family is a very loving and close family, but I'm afraid he has come into our family on a very sore note. The pain and hurt that we are all feeling is indescribable and the deep concern of what they're facing troubles us so much. But the answer to the question is, definitely not. It's unfair and disrespectful towards the parents who love and care and it adds so much unnecessary emotional baggage to carry into a new marriage.

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I suport you.

It is a MUST to get your Parents' blessings.

MUST! VERY IMPORTANT.

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True Dat, reason why i said, dem sabi dem parents than us.

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there must be some very good solid reason for not doing so

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Nice to get the blessing, however, you know your parents better.

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@abuguy64

i think am in support of ur statement, there are parents who are just wicked and prefer urb failure to ur progress, my parents are not like that, but ive seen it in 3 families

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Sincerely theres no proof to back this up

secondly most divorces we have today all had the parents awareness and even blessings, so whats your excuse for this?

Its a good thing when your parents are aware but what if theyre presenting a silly excuse like race and tribe or even because they just dont like the persons face?

what about that?

Abeg!

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My parents knew i was getting married but niether of them gave their blessing or attended. Their main issue with it was because my husband is black (Im not). We were mean to be getting married in Scotland with both my parents invited, but because i knew how they felt about my husband & the fact they are divorced & hate each other it would have been to akward having them both at the ceremony, spoiling things for us so instead i decided that since we were going to Nigeria to meet his mum that we should get married there. Thankfully his family were lovely to me & we had a great day though it was slightly sad not having any of my family there, but hey if they want to be small minded enought to have issues over the colour of someones skin that's their problem, certainly wasnt going to stop me marrying him.

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Parental support to wedding is the best. They sure know somethings more than you do.

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no matter how right a child thinks he/she is,if you don't get blessings from your parents such a marriage is bound to fail.

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oh i regret not telling them!!!!!!!!!!!

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i got married without my parents knowledge as i was afraid they would try and stop me as i was only 19 and was only dating him for 3 mts when we started planning to marry. they know now as immigration called to their house for my husband when we split

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Naturally, I'll let my parents know before I go ahead and marry some lady. What's there to hide?

I think my marriage would be a thing of joy to them, and they will want to be able to share their wisdom with me. I see no advantage in robbing them of this privilege. Even a liberal parent will be very angry if her child got married without at least informing her.

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for me it all depends on the parents........., if they dont care about stuffs like that then its ok........, like my dad got married to my mom without his parents knowing her , and that was the best decision he made in his life. if i get a good husband here , i can marry him without my parenrs knowing him, cos my parents are very libral. wat they care about is ur happiness and its up to you, you know wats best for u.

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Well there's very much tendency that you'll regret it, because God gave you to your parents. Its their duty to cater for you, so when you are leaving them for good (marriage), they ought to know about it and bestow their blessings upon you.

If this doesnt happen you may experience difficulties in your marriage. You may not just understand why.

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