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Men-A Better Whip To Beat Your Wife-( Women how do you whip your partner?)

When some men clear their throats, their wives develop symptoms of tuberculosis. Those are men who are neither bullies nor mad dogs. They do not get a kick from kicking their wives around the house.

They do not beat their women just to prove they are men. And their women know when to pull the brakes. So, there are men and there are men. Mad men, wife beaters and men who know how to enforce discipline in their homes.

We’ve heard enough of men who kick their women in the tummy when they are pregnant and those who cause their women to wear D&G ‘bones’ to cover up dark patches on their faces after slapping sessions. We have also heard enough of women who make their husbands so miserable, the poor men lose it and go berserk.

In other words, there are wife beaters, women batterers all over the place and women with vile mouths who don’t know when to duck when they see a flying punch. So, there is no point belabouring the violent point. It is bad to be foul-mouthed and worse to be a wife or woman beater. Is there then a middle road? Of course. Only dumb men don’t know how to discipline their women without raising a fist. Wife beaters should learn from their women. We, the daughters of Eve do not beat men and yet smart men don’t toy with us.

We do not give our men black and blue faces to get them to buy us gold, diamonds, the latest SUV and build us houses. They do all those things nice and easy and we know how to express our gratitude. But men who insist this is a man’s world don’t know jack about making their women do what they want. All brawns, no strategy.

A woman will tell a man to go to hell and the dude is actually going to look forward to the trip. Well, it’s absolutely a woman thing. We were designed by God with that particular element. Poor men, what do they know?

But wait, I found men who know how to get their women to fear and revere them. Their women confessed so. Some men told me how they do it. The lesson in all I learnt is unless you escaped from a psychiatric hospital, there is no reason to beat the woman in your life.

Bimpe is 40 and said her husband simply shuts down all activities at her oil installation. Alfred does not actually freeze his wife’s account when she errs, he simply insists on a proposal and due process for every expense. Like Cross River State Senators, Bayo deploys the hunger strike strategy and Nath makes Bo- la Ige proud with his siddon look approach. Let’s take them one by one.

Bimpe’s story

‘Babe, you know I married in my old age. At 37, I had been around and I do not joke with my sex life. I knew if I was going to keep my pants on, I must marry a man who can hold them in place. My husband may be guilty of all sins and inadequacies but he is all the man I want in bed. The thought of him gets me through a bad day, believe me. He is a long distance runner who is skilful every step of the way. He knows my weakness and he exploits it to the hilt. If I step out of line, he wears a belt with his pyjamas.

He’s got plenty of self-control anyway, so he’s difficult to seduce. When I’m serving penance, that’s when my husband wears what advertises his ‘goods’ in the house- great biceps, firm thighs. He would give me long lingering kisses and that’s it. He’s very fashion conscious and when he’s punishing me, he wears all those things that keep the women ogling him. The total torture is lethal, more lethal than I can put into words. I love him to bits and so, of course, I can’t stand the punishment for more than three days. After that I beg and make sure I do exactly as he pleased. It’s working for our marriage.

Afred’s story

My wife knows I’m generous and that is also the weapon I use to whip her in line. Once I start asking for explanation on how the house-keeping allowance is spent, why she can’t travel for summer or why they all have to go to Gambia instead of Spain, she knows it’s not because I’m broke. I refuse to talk about her demands for anything that has to do with money. All aso-ebi for parties are rejected. I ask for special dishes, soups. But no extra kobo comes out of anywhere. We do not run generator all night. The big cars stay in the house because their keys stay in my locked-up wardrobe. Even the children know when things are not right. My attitude is if I’m not happy in my home, everybody joins the unhappy train. Period. It works for me.

Bayo’s story

If my wife offends me, I refuse her food. I eat outside until she apologises and stops whatever it is that has rubbed me up the wrong way. Sometimes she is angry too and ignores me and my hunger strike. When she does that I step up the strategy by bringing food home, warm it in her microwave while whistling and I eat it on the dining table. That leaves her wondering where the food came from. Oh, to make that angle effective, I do not bring anything that looks like it is from a fast food eatery. I bring real native food like pounded yam and vegetable packed in a beautiful food flask complete with hand towel and bottled water and wine, all in a nice basket. And no matter how tired I am when I get home, I eat my ‘food from outside’ and tell the house help to put the flask back in the car.

Nath’s story

I go out a lot when my wife offends me until she returns to her senses. If she calls me while I’m out, I tell her I’d call back later. I never do. If she greets me, I grumble. I stay in my room when I’m in the house. If she feigns illness to get my attention, I call the doctor to come to the house but I make sure I leave before he arrives. I know what hurts her and the silent treatment is the most potent. I’m ordinarily a jovial person. We talk a lot. We are each other’s best friends. We even gossip like two girls. We drink wine on the balcony and swap jokes but when she offends me, I withdraw all that. She is a banker and likes to return home where she can relax. Instead of beating her or shouting, I simply listen to my old school blues and watch wrestling. Otherwise, I’m out with the boys and I let her know.

So, what did we learn folks? There are many ways to kill a cat. Find another whip to beat your wife otherwise you are a certified psycho

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27 answers

This is an interesting topic. More of it folks.

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Problems would always arise in a marriage but it depends on how u r able to handle. The methods given may work differently for some pple but in all its still better than beating the one u call ur wife whom u say u love so much. The Bible says if u r angry with ur brother never allow the sun to go down with ur anger. If u r wife displeases u, let her know so that she will apologise, just that sometimes women want to prove sturbborn,

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In as much as the methods outlined above are better than violence, yet the idea of employing punitive measures as a means of correction is not the the best, no matter how "subtle" the measures may seem.

Dialogue is still the ultimate solution.

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Quarelling is one thing, bringing home food in fancy dishes to give your wife the impression that you're having an affair is another thing entirely. Sure my husband and I quarrel. But we reached several agreements early in our marriage. One, the D word must never be used to threaten each other in our house. Two, no going for days without speaking to each other, and three, if you are upset about something, speak up! That doesn't mean we don't show our anger -in fact, some of the 'talking' can get very heated. But we know that once we settle it, it ends there. No dragging it up in two months time when another issue comes up.

So there are people who think denying one's husband of sex, or refusing to eat your wife's food will spice up your marriage? Well, good luck to you then, but I would never do it, or tolerate its use against me.

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Hey good people!

Enjoy your favorite SALSA LA RUEDA, BACHATA AND

ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS SALSA CLASS; Every Wednesday 7pm. At Bacchus; 57 awolowo

road, ikoyi.

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Sometimes ago,,,I read of a marriage counsellor who when he counsells couples wishing to get married,,,he would ask them if they have ever quarelled? if the would couples say no,,,,he would ask them to take time until they have quarrelled and resolve their quarrels b4 getting married,,,

Actually, disagreement gives U the basis for agreement on anything about life.

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Nath’s story

I go out a lot when my wife offends me until she returns to her senses. If she calls me while I’m out, I tell her I’d call back later. I never do. If she greets me, I grumble. I stay in my room when I’m in the house. If she feigns illness to get my attention, I call the doctor to come to the house but I make sure I leave before he arrives. I know what hurts her and the silent treatment is the most potent. I’m ordinarily a jovial person. We talk a lot. We are each other’s best friends. We even gossip like two girls. We drink wine on the balcony and swap jokes but when she offends me, I withdraw all that. She is a banker and likes to return home where she can relax. Instead of beating her or shouting, I simply listen to my old school blues and watch wrestling. Otherwise, I’m out with the boys and I let her know.

So, what did we learn folks? There are many ways to kill a cat. Find another whip to beat your wife otherwise you are a certified psycho

I hope Mr. Nath will not be surprised if their next child looks very much like the doctor !!!

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@ poster,

There are no hard-and-fast rule to this phenomenom that happens in nearly all marriages[sub][/sub]some may disagree[sup][/sup]. The examples cited may work for some relationships and not so for others. Like most folks have said correctly, whichever anyone herein needs apply they should be able to evaluate and call it before it gets out of hand. In other words, KNOW WHEN U ARE AT THE PEAK OF SHAKARA AND CLIMB DOWN RIGHTAWAY. It is such a lovely way to whip ones spouse into line without resorting to barbaric means. I  hear one or two commentators talk about sitting down and communicating right-away, surely if that does it for both of you, fine. For me it will be dry to be serious all the time and a little variation in that appraoch will surely help. After all the folks wey do shakara dey communicate, only in a playful and yanga ish way. Na d style me I dey use win my sweeet Omalichanwa aka Hegovini back o!

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Some of these things are rather childish and mean.

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Forget all that crap about communication. If they love each other, they will eventually communicate. Stuff like these sorta lighten up the marriage and make things more interesting (if they know when to stop). They will laugh it off later and will be pleased to remember it. Relationships are not all about being the seriously dedicated lovers. A little competition would be just right to spice things up and make the relationship stronger. (remember, i said little competition!). Sorta reminds me about secondary school. I had quite some unhappy moments but i won't trade memories of those days for anything. Same applies to such moments in a marriage or a relationship.

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In a healthy marriage, the couple sits down together like mature adults and talks through their issues. They don't go around sulking, using inuendo, or denying themselves of food, sex or companionship. If you are dealing with disagreements in your marriage that way, you should probably seek counselling from older, more mature couples.

It is not the job of the husband (or wife) to discipline the wife (or husband). That was the job of her parents. If they didn't do a good enough job for you - then don't marry her.

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^^^^ You'd be surprised. Some men are incredibly disciplined and difficult to seduce. Rare though.

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I wouldnt bank on it.

men are always men.

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I knew a woman who use to bully her husband.

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This post is arrant nonsense. the fact that it was poted by a woman suggesting ways to deal with an erring wife shows it's totally in-effective and that's why she suggested it.

personally i believe in communication. talk things over, place your cards on the table, know what your woman is protesting about and make as much compromise as neccessarry just to restore a peaceful loving relationship.

where this fails it means the other partner is fed up. at this point my solution is to end the relationship. there's no point enduring a bad situation that won't improve

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@cahircover, I do see reasons with you. I think anyway, it both parties should know each other well enough to know when to drop the curtain

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Wow, only a silly person will put up with such crap. WTH?! VERY childish indeed.

You might as well just stab eachother to death.

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what happens if wrong doing is as bad as having an affair and she gets caught , what do u do to her or after a dna u find out ur son is not yours?

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@ poster I applaud ur post. Though sounds hillarious but these attitudes are way better than physical abuse. My fiancee sees me as her comedian, so when she goes off the mark i simply wear d guerila's face. This kills her a lot and she comes apologising. When i go wrong she refuses eating with me cos she knows how much i enjoy her eating from same plate with me. I'll definitely make peace with her to get back my joy.lol

I think we cant ever escape what you call the mental abuse in a relationship. In my view it even helps in oiling the wheels

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I naturally use the keep quiet method and ignore method, it gets to her big time, but i always feel i'm making her tougher as every episode goes by and one day wen she has developed enough hard skin, it may no longer be my game

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This has been my method and it always work.

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Good ideas , but what of a man that's got no biceps or money to go on hunger strike;what does he do ? Drink kìèkìè all day long ?

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whatz so childish mr president?

just tell us ur own nah

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this is all soooooooo childish

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