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Monogamy Causing Infidelity Among African Couples?

Monogamy as contributory factor to sexual immorality in couples!

Traditionally, most African societies were potentially polygamous, being a custom whereby a man can have as many wives as he chooses. Polygamy was never considered immoral/sinful, until the Christian missionaries arrived in Africa to introduce their [b]one man, one wife - plus plenty concubines/mistresses - doctrine. This has largely contributed to the prevalence in sexual immorality/unfaithfulness amongst married couples in Africa with insatiable lust for sex (since one single woman cannot satisty their desires).

What is your esteemed opinion on this issue?

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So you sat down and thought really hard and this is the conclusion that you came to. If you truly believe that polygamy is what will cure someone from being a LovePeddler then you just want to be ignorant. I guess in your mind the man should just keep marrying women until he grows up and chooses to be responsible. I guess that old man that has 100 wives was very responsible. He was just marrying them so that he does not run out there and be "unfaithful"

What annoys me when people pull this "our culture" crap is that even when it is blantantly wrong people will still defend it. How can you defend polygamy in 2011. What purpose could it possibly serve.

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Old thread but the topic never changes.

Monogamy doesn't encourage infidelity. People in polygamous relationships can also be unfaithful unless you work on the premise that a polygamist is only as faithful as his last wife.

I recall a story years ago about a policeman with two wives who Molested the daughter of a colleague. I know of a man with a number of wives who still ran after other women - don't know if he's still alive but it was rumoured he was possibly HIV+

So the lack of fidelity has nothing to do with monogamy. When society make believes that men can do whatever they like without repercussions (they will always be forgiven), why should they remain monogamous?

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Michelin, you are wrong. Marriage is not about men, alone. I also want to state that marriage is about two people. A fusion of two distinct personalities who had reached adulthood, and had formed their uniqued habit. One of the most difficult thing to change is habit. We all have one. That said.

When you enter into a marriage, you enter into a contract to live with and to be a part of your partner. You are not saying, you want to subjugate yourself to somebody or that you want to enslave somebody.

I agree, African mentality enchained women. I must add that in the advent of Islam and christainity, the world had been given wider options to choose from. It is your choice, if your hubby still got stuck to the old ways of treating women as object of servitude. You agreed to love him and gave your heart to him. Infact, no one should be blame when a woman willingly fall in love with a brute. It is her choice. She probably married for some other reasons and then HOPE THE MAN WOULD CHANGE. When women learn to reject bad guys regardless of the guy's ego, bad guys would adjust to women's need.

To the topic, we must never pretend the world is perfect or would be. Else, jesus christ would have made sins a things of the past. We know better. Divine laws are there to create check and balance. That is why God didn't condemn polygamy. I studied quran just as I study bible. I discovered to my chagrin that quran didn't say polygamy is a way of life. It placed enormous responsibilities on man to be faithful and just in his dealing with women. Little wonder, why women in core north don't experience as much marrital disharmony as the south. I am yet to see one verse in the bible that say polygamy is forbiden. I am still searching.

Men and women had diffence nature. Sometimes, regardless of our thought, ideas, or belief, we found that what we hate so much, do have it own usefulness.

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This is the Nigerian mentality when it comes to marriage.

-Marriage is all about the man.

-He is the head and deserves all the respect.

-His wish is the woman's command.

-He can cheat and will be forgiven. She can cheat but will be thrown out.

-He cheats, it's the woman's fault. She cheats, it's always the woman's fault.

-Good children, like father like child. Bad children, like mother like child.

-He asks for sex, she isn't giving enough. She asks for sex, she is a love-addict.

-He can add as much weight as he wants. She can also do the same, but has to welcome a mistress.

-He can get tired. She must endure.

-He can have many options. She is left with one.

-He remains a sex symbol till he dies. She expires as she plucks 40/50.

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I have read the contribution, it indeed contains nuisance values. Do you know what that mean? Check it out.

I figure out that you are a lady. I also figure out that you strongly detest polygamy. That is good. I am a man and a one man one woman type. Experience had shown that whenever men pretend there is no problem, while problems encircle them, they are eventually consumed. Perhaps if you could stick your head out of the confort zone, and feel what people with broken marriage had experienced you would understand the logic behind my contribution. I speak from experience and not out of sentiment. When relationship is heading toward doom as a result of OVERBEARANCE of one partner, mostly woman, the man is naturally going to explores available options. Unfortunately, he had limited one.

While I discourage cheating and dislike polygamy, my personal experiences with people on opposite side had given me indepth understanding of why nature tolerate polygamy. It may interest you to know that except jesus christ, and probably a handful of other prophets, virtually every prophet that live till old age is polygamous! Re-read your bible if you are endowed with bibilical gift as I am.

The only justification for monogamy and the strongest reference is on ADAM. Check it out. Why Adam has one wife is not part of this discurse.

What I want you to know is that, when you tie up a man in marriage in the name of monogamy, you must also be prepared to meet his needs. If you fail, if you just imagine he would rather go insane trying to put up with difficult ladies. Honestly, one need to be there to feel. It is not funny at all. A monogamy home, where two partners are constantly in conflict would either lead to cheating or break up. When break up is inevitable, someone would go mad. Check it out!

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What an idiotic senseless nonsense!

Just read this rubbish you have written again and tell me if it can actually be the result of someone's brain's elaboration.

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And what happen when the woman expired and the man still yearning for action? Must he castrate himself or rejuvenate his wife? That is if we look at it from sexual angles.

From moral angle, if a man discover a vacuum is created by his wife from other departments, do you favour him brutalising the poor woman, divorce her, or get a second wife? The only viable options other than the aforementioned is naturally, infidelity. Check it out. The lady has the choice to make.

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It amazes me how the human mind will always come up with theories to justify wrong actions! Monogamy is a prevailing cause of infedility in Africa! Wonders shall never cease!

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Pintos, the reason is embedded in your post which I have successfully drawn out in the above quote. What more would you say is responsible if not  that?

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Lets not base this on christianity.

My opinion is that, polygamy is not right. What do u want for four wives?? At the same time. Common, if wife one is so bad that u need a wife 2, divorce her instead of keeping her and The New wife together. Divorce the woman so she also get other men.

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