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My Friend is "Not Really In Love With Her Husband"?

Is it possible I realise after the wedding that 1 don't really love my husband?

Hi,

I have a friend that got married to a guy she dated over a year. She just started telling me that she realises she is not really in love with her husband and when I asked her how--- she says she just realised so---

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28 answers

Why the desperation? why? i can only ask did she jump into this

One, her selfish reasons

two, blindness

three, pressure from home.

Now there is no turning back, she must learn to love him

and its easier for a woman to fall in love during the marriage than the guy

So bebe, there is hope!

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ok, so what typically happens next after women realize it wasn't love in the first place?

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excellent question in need of honest answers

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but how many women are really in love with their husbands?

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i think she should think again and be sure its not just a relationship problem like seun said before thinkin bout leavin him . by the way seun wot is obantalaripipi(sorry if d spellin is wrong)?

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Now, that is one confused broad.

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were she blind when she got married to him?

or she's seeing another man outisde that's why ?

anyway it's her feelings

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i think i go with the idea seun brought and i also support laide's opinion, marriage is between two people which when married become one

in this case she have to let her husband know exactly what she want their marriage to look like and the husband in his own side will let her know his idea of the marriage then both of the will come to an agreement or an idea which will help.

although I'm still single but I've stayed with so many married people and the common problem is just lack of understanding and some of them are also selfcentred.

please tell her to let her Husband know what her feelings are like

thank you and i wish her all the best in her marriage

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it is very common marring who you never that much love,cos when u get to a certain age in life all u do think of is getting married (the ladies) at time family problem result to this kind of problems when your parent are stopping you from getting married to a particular person for a little reason and that make you to fall for that next guy or lady who is much wellcome

why after some times in marriage you will find out yourself how much u do love this person.

secondly you don't know all about your partner not on-till you have leave together under marriage for some time before you could tell of who you really married and who you love much.

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It seems to me she married a man before even knowing what she really wanted. Most women that are "content" don't usually get married like that. Just my $.02[color=#770077][/color]

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Marriage is a life time commitment.I'd rather u tell her to love him by force and pray to God to help her in loving him.I think going for counselling as said by seun is a nice one.She shd try n do dt.God help u

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she should actually sit down and check why she got married to him in the first place. And also sit down and carefully check why she doesn't love him any more, but not as a matter of counting events. she might be overlooking some key issues. it might not be that she's not in love anymore but that she not as enthusiastic as before. So she needs to do some serious soul searching.

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Not sure how to respond to this buit it appears some communication is neccessary and probably the Kama Sutra?

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Didn't she know that before the marriage or was she forced into the marrige? i know i am not exaclty helping right now but there's some helpful comments i've seen, hopefully, she gets helped somehow.

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Thanks to you all for your various opinions.

Seun,

I think your idea is very essential. I will suggest the counselling stuff to her right away.. who deosn't. If she does agree to that, I will let you know for further ecommendations. What do you think.

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She must make some adjustments. Be it known to her that it is not easy to live with the opposite sex. After the aura of wedding and honeymoon then comes monotony, which they say, kills the mind. Sometimes you feel tired seeing the same person everyday. It is natural in our daily lives.

But in the issue of marriage, she has to overcome that or else she will be caught in that ugly web even if she remarries. She has to be closer to her husband now. She can sometimes go out for diner with her husband; it’s not bad even if she is the best cook.

She should feel relaxed and make her husband the man she wants to him to be. There must be a disconnect in the chemistry between them, the woman has to fix it.

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yes communication is a vital key in marriage but sometimes its difficult to initiate the communication.

this is a very delicate issue as it involves the lady's sexual satisfaction. most men are egotistical in nature and might feel wounded if he thinks his sexual prowess is being called to question and so if the lady doesn't handle this issue with much wisdom she could have the whole thing backfiring on her as he could turn around and call her promiscouos or a "love-addict" just simply to save face. so im suggest she takes Seun's advice and talk to a counsellor.

this is a problem that can be solved.

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yeh it is possible 2 realize u're not actually in love wit ur so called husband after ur wedding cuz it's like b4 u get married u're all over each other n do not actually realize his bad side cuz they all seem so perfect 2 u at the time n finally when da wedding is over u start realizing all these horrible things aba him n get really pissed off n gradually start loosing it 4 him

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Sometimes, when a woman is not happy in a relationship, she suddenly wakes up with the idea that she "doesn't really love" her mate, whereas it is a relationship problem that can be solved by proper counseling. I mean, the problem here is simply that the husband doesn't understand that he has to make the lovemaking pleasurable for his wife (and not just himself). This is not a love issue, this is a common problem that can be solved by a an experienced counselor that the husband respects.

I am close to an elderly couple that does marriage counseling for Christians, so if your friend is interested in saving her marriage instead of looking for "love" elsewhere, you can contact me and I'll link you up. Good luck!

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Well, that's kinda selfish of the husband. Maybe, she can gently suggest to her husband to slow it down? A ba, he has to slow it down o!. I guess he doesnt believe in pre-intimacy...no?

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I don't think it has to do with money. She is okay and she is a very contented persn. She said, her husband does,t kiss her and she prefers kissing to-----. She also said, she was trying to lure him to like kissing but in vain.. like she said the guy doesn't kiss, smooch and just goes straight to the point....... (God forgive me for exposing my friend.

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maybe some rich guy has been giving her da eye and all dat money is chooking her eye. abi, is her husband not PERFORMING?

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"she needed to be with someone?" I still don't understand. Well, I don't understand, but if were your friend, I will find a way to love him back because to me her husband loves her. She should just make her marriage work.

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I asked a question like---what was it that really got her into the marriage in the first place if not love and quess what she said-- I needed to be with someone. I'm still wondering if its possible cause ya all know that marriage is a lifetime commitment.

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YOU would have asked her if she was fooled into marrying her husband.

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Thanks mckaycee..

I will convey your advise

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