«Home

My Mother, My Wife: Who Comes First?

If you have to pick between your mother and your wife, who would you choose? For me I think it's my wife.

Avatar
Newbie
146 answers

do you really have to ask?

once a man and woman leave the nest, they need to learn to be independent and work out their problems/live like adults.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Don't want to say what I think about this thread. However I'll still comment:

YOUR MOTHER IS YOUR MOTHER & YOUR WIFE IS YOUR WIFE: 2 DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES IN YOUR LIFE WITH DIFFERENT ROLES REQUIRING DIFFERENT RESPONSIBILIES OF YOU. THEY ARE NEVER 2 SIDES OF THE SAME COIN. THEY SHOULD NEVER BE WEIGHED SIDE BY SIDE!!!

GOD!

0
Avatar
Newbie

With the present crop of females? I'd stick with those I know I can trust, who have no selfish motive behind their every action, at least i know my mother has unconditional love for me, can't place my own unconditional love in the hands of someone whose love for me is dependent on how much I make her feel good which is not everytime(afterall I'm only human).

0
Avatar
Newbie

What a qstn...definately my Mum...

0
Avatar
Newbie

poor mothers ... they spend all their lives raising their children ... atleast the better part of their lives and then these same children will later choose someone they just met over them. pity

0
Avatar
Newbie

I choose my husband cos we are one now

0
Avatar
Newbie

@OP,

It shouldn't be a question of either/or. there are no absolutes in this.

Both of them should have a special place in your heart, but each of them needs to know their place - know where their boundary ends and respect where the other's boundary starts. if the wife and mother have this under lock, then the love you have for your mother would come first as a mother and the love you have for your wife would come first as a wife.

, hope that makes sense

0
Avatar
Newbie

I always come first. Nuff said!

0
Avatar
Newbie

goodness. anyone who answers mother/father instead of wife/husband either isn't ready for marriage yet, or has not found the right partner.

0
Avatar
Newbie

of ourse my dad gave a lot of things 4 me.Cannot c ma self abandoning him when he nids me most.U may be ma Husband but definitely,ma Parents-Mum & Dad come first

0
Avatar
Newbie

My wife will always come first.

0
Avatar
Newbie

If i'll ever choose any it is my FATHER

0
Avatar
Newbie

wife.

my mother wouldn't have me giving up on the life and person I chose, besides she has her own spouse and life she chose!

btw, who you choose to marry is pretty powerful. you can't choose your parents, but you can choose your spouse,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Both are important but wife com first in man life. as she leave her father house to man house. she has become man's property which

must not damage,

must b protecting al the time.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I know that a mother who really loves her child will not spoil his home.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Money not what we were talking about accept you dont understand what mothers love means,

0
Avatar
Newbie

depends on the situation

0
Avatar
Newbie

Yes and I don't plan to interfere in my son's marriage and make a young lady that is so keen to please me unhappy. I have an education and have made my retirement plans. My son's wife comes first. If my husband dies, he can help out, but not at the expense of his family. I don't want any yeye insult form any young girl.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Be in mind you are a mother to be and test when son compares you to his wife,

0
Avatar
Newbie

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you" Exodus 20:12, This alone tells us that MOTHER is not Just a word of comparism, I dont think wheather monogamy or polygamy is the subject,

Without mothers decipline you wouldnt have been a good husband and mothers helps us choose a good wife and comfirms it, but any son who dont know or see this type of dicipline out of love from mothers , Proverbs 29:15-17 also says, "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. When the wicked thrive, so does sin, but the righteous will see their downfall. Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul."

Nurturing our children will provide support, acceptance and unconditional love. We are to be kind, compassionate and forgiving, just as Christ is to us. (Ephesians 4:32) Ephesians 4:29 also says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Even when your father leaves her and go to other women whiles she is carrying you in her womb, she dont change her mind to abort you but love you and make you her hope , to love you and bosom feed you and where was your wife? and yet she has to let you go and sepnd the rest of your life with another woman called wife: when your wife cheat on you who do u tend to? can your mother leave you? but wife can leave you at anytime and tell you she has find a love or tired of the marriage but your mother cant, and the ladies who dont understand mothers comes first your time on the way to be a mother and then you see how it feels to be compared to your son wive!

I love my wife but I love my MOTHER MORE,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Guy u did not xplain fully on d ground u 'r basing d two of them but in which ever way, guy let b real i tink ur wife comes first xcept if d so calld wife does not worth being a wife 2 u and a mother 2 ur children becos ur mother is a wife 2 someone (ur father) and she has perform her obligations includin giving birth 2 u, so shd also giv u al d privacy 2 enjoy ur wife. Moreover b4 u spend #10 4 ur mum u wil av spend #23-25 4 ur wife, so now ask ursef who come first? Another thing is dat u cant av d same love 4 d both becos u wil surely av a romantic love 4 ur wife and a mother 2 child love 4 ur mother!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Your mother has a husband and her own. You have a wife and your home. Your mother coming first is disobeying God's law because you are not married to her, that is her husband's job. You are not her husband.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Mother comes first for this is the first commandment(honor thy father and thy mother, for this is the first commandment in the bible) (Quran said, Honor thy mother, and mother and mother before father), mothers LOVE CANT be questions and those of you who questions it are just ignorant, she laid her life for you, pains, 9-months or more, Jesus never disobeyed His father in Heaven, He does what His father willeth.

MOTHER HAS THE YOUR HEART MOST BEFORE EVERYBODY OR ANYONE, !

0
Avatar
Newbie

my baby,

my baby,

my baby,

cant believe you even asked!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Actually, it is very easy, God said in the book of Genesis "that for this purpose shall a man leave his mother and his father and cling to his wife and they shall become one flesh."

0
Avatar
Newbie

Religiously, Mothers were only meant not to be disobeyed, they should be respected and give what is required to be given to them.

As for your Wife, She's your Life Partner. You guys sign LIfe Contract.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Everyone entitled to his/her opinion

Jus like someone said, it's a tough one to chose from, but where one becomes an only option, i will go for my Mom if am a man.

My reason, you can never have another mother but obviously another wife

Wife can abadon you when life seems darker and blurr but Mom will always be there for you at all times, considering the pain of carrying you for nine months, the pain of child bearing, nuturing[b].(how can u leave the woman that brought you to life)[/b]

Let a husband die, give the woman another two years to re-marry, old love dies even if she still holds the memory, but the truth for her is life must go on.

Even if in my dream, it's my mother

Nneka== always means mother is supreme

0
Avatar
Newbie

Can you ever replace your mum?. . . in other words get another mother . . I don’t think so

0
Avatar
Newbie

If am to choose between my hobby and my dad, I will rather go for my hobby because since the day we've married, he belongs to me and vice versa while my father belongs to my mother. But I never pray for such a thing because I still cherish my papa so much

0
Avatar
Newbie

my mother, one can only have one mother but can always get many wife as they wish

cox no matter how bad a man looks/acts he will always find a woman/wife who will fall prey to his touch, yea it is really that easy

0
Avatar
Newbie

Except my wife crosses the line, she remains the first. Any good mother should be okay taking the next rank after her daughter in law.

But if my wife abuses that right, I WILL withdraw it completely and place them on the same level or my wife takes the back seat, depending on how terrible she abused it.

That's my candid stand.

0
Avatar
Newbie

If you find your mother and wife in the sea seeking dawn calling for help, wish among them are you going to help first? for me i will help my wife first before my month because, i am married to another woman as a wife, she is the mother i am going to spend the rest of my life with.

0
Avatar
Newbie

your mother did what no other person in the world had the privilege to do for you. she gave birth to you. SHE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE YOU CAN GIVE HER. Also your wife is privileged to be among the few who can do what your mother can not do for you. your wife parts her leg for you and carry your baby. SHE ALSO DESERVES YOUR LOVE.

you love your mother and you are in love with your wife. i think the second action is more binding than the first. you spend a few decades with your mother. you are going to spend more with your wife if you live long. In my opinion, if you are monogamous, your wife comes first. but if you are polygamous, your mother comes first. However, respect your mother more than your wife.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Personally, i think the comparison should not even come up.

I mean, your mum whether alive or dead is your mum. Your wife

will ever remain your soulmate for ever. The love for both of them

are world apart.

A man's mum is his mum, a man's wife is his wife period.

Any attempt to draw comparision will bring bad blood.

0
Avatar
Newbie

if I was a man, my mom. you may divorce your wife, you can never divorce your mom

0
Avatar
Newbie

Surely the spouse should come first cos if your mum's husband put his mother b4 her, she wudnt have had his attention.

Not that the mother should be shut out completely, she will still be given attention as a mother, but more attention should be on the wife

0
Avatar
Newbie

The day you say "I do" , same day u say bye bye to making your mother the priority, so, it is your wife, but the best way to do it, is make ur wife and your mother to be best of friends and you will enjoy best of both worlds.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I have had only my mother all my life, and I love her to pieces,

but now that I am married My Husband comes first.

0
Avatar
Newbie

if i was a man,my wife comes first,my relationship wt my mum is limited,or can i sleep wt my mum,but wt my wife it is unlimited

0
Avatar
Newbie

thank u for praying for me sum body' i knw how you feel too for me i just dont know what to do anymore.

i feel so helpless.everyday i have to control myself not to get mad at my husband and hes mother,the harder

part is that he is always taking hes mother side all the we fight she's there interfering all the time and worse

part are she's blame on me and she well tell me to get out from her house by myself my baby and my husband

wll stay with her what a Dam! sometimes i feel like killing myself in front of her and my husband so they'll knw

how much i hate her and how much i suffered, last time i almost killed myself i took a knife and trying to stab myself

in front of my husband he tok photos of me with a knife and send it to hes mother cellphone.and hes mother shows

it to all her friend i was so mad i feel like killing her too.everyday she showed me attitude like if i am in the kitchen

making some food for my husband and my baby she gets so mad and throwing whatever she's holding once she

see' me in the kitchen.but i keep my self control i just don't say any words at her and the worse part is that

i dont go to the kitchen or seat around the lounges if she's around.and if she's in the kitchen i don't go to the

kitchen even my baby and i are hungry i have to wait for her to finish what she's doing in the kitchen so i could

go and make our food, i feel depress all the time mostly everyday.just dont know what to do anymore

i wish that my mother inlaw dont excess at all.i feel you sum body and all the wife out there who have same

situation just keep praying

0
Avatar
Newbie

Ana,

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I feel similar to you except that we have a house of our own, thankfully. I could not live with my monster-in-law. If I think of mentioning her name, my husband is already on the tirade. Anytime I feel someone has wronged me, he takes their side (whether his friend or mom). I remember before we got married, in part of a song it says, "for this reason a man should leave his father and mother and cling to his wife" and his mother said, "I hate to hear that part". But for her, my husband has not left her, he has clung closer to his family since we got married then he did before we were married! I'll pray for you and your situation and please pray for me and mine!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Anytime any day it will always be my WIFE. No controversy because my mother is late. She now doubles as a mother and a wife.

0
Avatar
Newbie

This calls for a whole lots of wisdom on the part of the man.Our mother is as important as our wife.Their roles in our our lives are very paramount in that both of them are uniquely important to us and the fact that the role plays by our mothers cannot be played by our wife and vice versa.Therefore a wise man has got to be able to strike a balance in between these two important figures in our life if he is to know peace,tranquility and success in life.

A man as such has to make his mother and wife feel that they are both important to his daily existence by never,I mean never openly declare that he place more impotance on either the wife or the mother.It is his duty to set the limit at the home front and set the boundary beyond which both women cannot tresspass in the way of clear cut duty and responsibilities in a situation where he has both of them under his roof.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Naturally, my wife comes 1st.

I've had enuf of my moma.

0
Avatar
Newbie

No question about this, it's your wife, yes you love your mum after all she gave you life but at the end of the day you wife your should always comes first

0
Avatar
Newbie

I pity the man that has to choose, but choose your wife over your mother and your life will be blessed. If you choose your mother over your wife, you will reap the consequences of your wife's pain and insecurity of being #2. Why hurt yourself like that? Wife is #1, Mom falls to #2 - ALWAYS.

0
Avatar
Newbie

good for you. hope her family koms first before you in anything too.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Hopefully time will come when women will make their father/mother come first

Next their husband. she can always remarry.

if i have a man whose mom comes first, then i'd REALLY make my mom and dad come first before him (he will take the second place outright).

it's only baby boys (not men) who will say their mom comes first, grow up bouncing baby boy.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i av always told my gal that my family koms first in anytin, i can easily get another wife there r plenty of dem everywere, but mother, u only got 1 just one for life, u cant replace her!!!!! pretty difficult to judge now

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.