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Should A Guy Propose Before We Introduce Him To Mum & Dad?

Men are fond are taking only the "chosen" one home to moma.

Should we girls start doing the same? I mean mum and dad must not know every John and Peter we date, right?

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there is nothing wrong with your parents knowing about your relationship. that u are dating smbdy is not a guarantee that it must be marriage (ie introduction should not be formal). i am currently handling a case of six months marriage where the man beats up the wive regularly. take ur time in a relation to paint a picture of who u want, u are the one wearing the shoe, u know where it inc-hies u.

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@ poster

My sister, i believe it is better, because the way some guys use to handle relationship issue baffles me. Even being proposed is not even a guarantee to them. They can do MAGIC at anytime. I mean walking away even after proposing sef. Guyz bu Agwo.

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ahhh i see. Well, you just have to make them understand that your education will not be affected and live up to that promise ooo. Or that you would wait till you graduate

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My dad is older than my mum, but maybe dating a guys that is already a graduate and is working while you are just at the beginning of your education.

They could think the man wan marry and you shouldn't be thinking of marriage at this stage of your life.

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Do your parents frown on older man/younger woman relationships? You will know how they'd react from that.

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My idea was that OK, they'll know I talk to him, but nothing to suggest I have something going on with him, you know.

Besides how would they react if I introduce a much older guy to them?

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It'll be kinda weird for the dude to propose first then I take him to my parent's house "Hey folks, so this is who I'm marrying" or something like that.

Like I said, if I think he's pretty serious, then I have to take him over to mum & dad to analyze him and give me their opinion (very valuable) before I even start considering marrying him. . . but that's just me.

By the way, what kind of name is that? Where did that come from lol.

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I know some couples - actually laughed at them cos the thing was never going to work. They knew each others parents and relations but last last things fell apart. If you are somewhat convinced about the guy then an introduction can be made even before he proposes.

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ha! don't go and put your parents to shame o

let him propose to you and let the thing be definite and tied well well before you start bringing your poor folks to that kind of harsh limelight!

cheers

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Not that I am scared of their questions, but I want to protect my privacy as much as I can.

Parents can bring up unnecessary dramas all in the name of caring about your own good.

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Parents are usually like that na.

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Yes. I think it is very best. Think about it if you take home guy A and soon you break up. How easy will it be introducing guy B or Guy C? Mum and Dad will begin to see you as unserious and both of you inmature. With this i think it is okay to allow the guy propose, go see his parents  [to determine his level of commitment] before any introduction to your people. But in any case it depends on you both.

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Chaii. . .you prolly have to introduce him to your parents

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I am the eldest of my cousins. My immediate cousin is three years younger and lives in Nigeria.

No sisters either.

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My parents are boring. They are so much about studies.

If I bring them a boyfriend, they'll start all their embarrassing questions.

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Close cousins? or sisters maybe (not sure of them)

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I remember a wise woman once told me that a girl should make her male friend meet her family before getting into anything serious, now I understand

A simple gesture as letting him meet your brothers (if you have )can save you a lot of wahala, other people tend to see what we cannot see.

He does not have to be introduced as anything other than a friend.It is even better to do this before you are struck by the so called cupid, because then you will not want to hear any criticism, no matter how objective!

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Wouldn't introduce him to mum & dad until I know how serious he is, and we've definitely been dating for a while. He doesn't need to propose first . . .

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Yes. . . . .it is btw the man and the woman

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men want to be like men in all things

iz it possible?

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I don't desire anything. . .you don't know me enough to draw conlusions from a post.

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@ Mich,i seems marriage is what you desire right now.I hope you get who wants that and with you soon. But henceforth, try to do away with matured, it is mature.You don't need a 'd' to get that word adjectival.Take care!

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Like some previous posters said, it depends on the kind of parents u have. My kind of folks prefer meeting ur man when he`s ready to pay the price ( get settled). Guess its the way they got hooked up.

But bringing this to our age and time, its not always the case. I`ve met guys who want to visit ur folks even when they have no intention of marrying you. So its no guaranatee.

I think one should be sure of wat he/she`s into before blowing the trumpet to everyone. It`ll save u some heartache if things go awry.

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let the guy proposed first before you take him to them. unless he has been your friend and your parent know him way back, that you can do anything.

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And I thought I was just becoming more matured. . .

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These days I don't even like drama.

I am enjoying the silence as suggested by the Depeche Mode.

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It won't be the best news when you just walk up to your parents and and tell them that someone

has proposed to you.to some parents, it may mean that their daughter has been hiding and dating

behind them. It is safer and also shows that you have confidence and respect for your parents

when you tell them.It even makes the guy to respect your parents more.

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everybody should know everybody involved before any proposal. because this thing no be one man business o!

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Not every friend is worthy to be called a friend, and not every proposal is authentic. It is advisable that before u introduce a friend to your parents, you must make sure that he/she is a serious type to save ur family from shame and insult. Some, both guys and babes, maybe the eat and run type who just want to camouflage under the pretence of marriage but have something else in mind.

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I think there should be an introduction (not the ceremony) before a proposal. If your parent know your bf/gf before he/she proposes they can easily make known their reservation concerning him/her. It will be easier to dump the spouse before proposal than after proposal if you agree with your parent's reservation about your man or woman.

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This is a two way question. She he propose? Yes and No

Yes: If you are sure Mummy and Daddy would accept him

No: If you are not sure of the guy and whether or not he is acceptable to your family.

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Was he introduce to the parents before he had sex with the girl?

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IMO, I believe it is ideal for the parents to know the partner before the proposal. This is because they may disapprove the relationship for one reason or the other.

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Michellin, you ve to be careful even if life is short. And besides african traditiob is quite diff

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again IMO, i think its safer if you introduce the person to your parents first before the proposal.  maybe they wouldnt approve of the idea (maybe thats your utmost concern) but at the end of the day, its still your choice to make(whatever be it of their opinion of your guy) but just let them know first. i'd find it awkward (if i were to be your parents) for you to come home and just happily tell me i'm engaged just like that without any prior meetings with the dude.

theres nothing wrong with marrying while in school. many women successfully complete(d) their edu. while in their husbands house but the thing with that in many cases, is that some women who marry while in the progress and gets preg.  (planned/not) and starts a family, becomes overwhelmed with motherhood/family that completion of their edu. becomes least of their priorities and for many thats where it ends. this is why some parents are so reluctant to allow their children marry while still in school. so do weigh your options

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Whether he/she has met your parents or not should have nothing to do with the proposal/should not interfere with it.

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I'd say you let him propose first before bring home to your parents. Be sure that there's sth tangible before an introduction. Explaining to your parent that that guys was not it and this guys was not it might look somehow, if you guys late break up. I know that getting an engagement ring does not guarantee a wedding, but, atleast they met a husband-to-be.

And it should go both ways for the woman and the man in the rl/ship.

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His in-laws as well.

Relatives are in-laws too na.

Perhaps I should explain.

My parents would want me to move out of the country after I have completed the fist cycle of my studies. Hence the issue of a relationship could be seen as a possible obstacle to my relocation.

Right now I am single by the way. Just in case I meet someone I really like, should I deal with the matter with my parents at the beginning or after he has proposed (this possibility isn't farfetched since I am officially an adult and attract matured guys)?

Fact is at this point I don't mind getting married while in school. Afterall life is short!

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your parents or relatives nko?

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I was just thinking about it last night.

In fact I'd prefer a very reserved marriage with in-laws and best friends.

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IMHO

i'd say the introduction first before the proposal

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He has to be someone you have something exclusive and special with.

If I were a parent, I'd want to know who my daughter is hanging out with. I may or may not want to meet every dick and harry she hangs with though.

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